


Healingtale

by kairi196



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Emotional Healing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Humor, Journey through the Underground, Papyrus is so sweet he's giving me diabetes, Recovering from emotional pain, Romance, Self-Discovery, Self-Insert OC, Super Natural Elements, Time to leave old wounds behind and start anew, and lots of fluff, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 80,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kairi196/pseuds/kairi196
Summary: Being a 21 year old psychic and medium in a world that values objectivity, rationality and science, Psychology major Caroline was aware that magic and the paranormal were indeed very real even if no one else could see it. Little did she know that sometimes the best kind of magic can only be found in the littlest things, at the most unexpected places and has nothing to do with the supernatural.And it has everything to do with finding yourself.





	1. Lost stars

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of my story which is also in fanfiction.net I have the same username if you'd rather read it there. I'll upload the missing chapters tomorrow.
> 
> This is kind of a self-insert OC fic. I'm writing this story with a healing purpose for others and myself. We all have old wounds and I don't know about you, but maybe it's time to let go and move on. A fresh new beginning! If you played Undertale I'm sure you saw parts of yourself in the characters, their feelings and their points of view, and to me the whole experience was fun and healing, so that's why I thought I would add my own perspective to it and just share it.
> 
> By the way, English isn't my first language.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this and I hope that this helps you in some way, if not to heal, to at least smile a little and have a good time.

You are engulfed in cold, quiet darkness. An endless pitch-black void stretches endlessly before you. It might as well be a black wall that gave no perception of depth, but you wouldn’t know the difference. It mirrored your inexistent emotions somehow. No fear, no confusion, no pain, only numbness.

But it isn’t going to last and you know it.

You shudder. You’re not alone anymore.

_…Y…you…_

A weak, eerie whisper cuts through the silence. A wave of cold runs through your body. “Who are you?”

_…Kid…….Help….._

“Are you okay?”

_...h…h…help……._

Despair. That’s definitely despair in the voice.

“Where are you?”

_…K…kid…_

“Please, I need more information”

_…un……der….._

“I can barely hear you! Can you speak a bit louder?”

_…g…ground….._

“I-I’m sorry but I don’t understand”

_…h…elp…_

“W-wait! Don’t go yet! I’m- I still don’t know what I can do to help! Wait-!”

  _…US._

_#_

I jolted awake.

My heart drummed.

Beads of cold sweat ran down my forehead.

I gasped for air as a shiver ran through my bones and the lump in my throat made it hard to swallow.

That dream.

That disturbing dream again.

#

One week. I’ve been having this dream for one whole week and I couldn’t be farther from understanding it. Each time it got more intense and I didn’t know what to do about it anymore. The more I dream it the less sense it makes. Does that make sense?

I watched the teacher’s mouth move, but all I could really focus on was the possible meanings of this dream. I went through the same hypotheses I’d considered for the past 7 days, but none of them felt right. I discreetly looked at my phone while ignoring the puffy sensation of the dark circles that were starting to from under my eyes.

12:45 p.m.

Almost time. Only 15 minutes left. I smiled to myself.

“I assume you have known people who believe in ghosts, correct?”

Oh God, not this again.

“Well, this is also a kind of delusion. All of these people have developed pre-psychotic personality structures. Maybe they won’t lose contact with reality in the way psychotic personalities do since, unlike them, they won’t hallucinate and they can actually tell what is real from what is imagined, except of course when it comes to the topic of their delusion. Ghosts, angels, aliens, you name it hahaha. Same goes with…”

I tuned out the rest of the explanation. This woman was starting to get on my nerves. I was _so_ tired of this topic. Why can’t this teacher just respect other people’s beliefs? Does she have to mock them like that? And how can she just assume that no one in this room believes in ghosts, angels, etc.? I felt my stomach sink. She’s even made fun of some of her patients with us before.

How long did she plan to keep this going? We get it, you’re an atheist, you don’t believe in those kinds of things. You don’t think paranormal activity exists, you don’t believe in psychics, mediums, auras, spirituality… Not even in Cognitive Psychology, because ‘ _it’s not very effective_ ’ compared to Psychoanalysis. 

_Yet here I was feeling how resented she’s been for years and her dead father has been asking me for over a month to tell her he deeply regrets abandoning her and her sisters when their mother got sick._

But I know I can’t tell her that.

I don’t have the courage. Not with her. Sadly I knew why.

“Oh! And let me tell you, there are some people that believe stones can help them calm their mind, emotions and even improve their health. HAHAHAHA!”

Some of my classmates burst into laughter and I looked at my quartz bracelets. I pulled the sleeve of my sweater down my wrist.

#

Freedom at last. I took a deep breath and enjoyed the wind in my face as I walked down the street towards the bus stop. I don’t understand it when people criticize so passionately something they don’t know anything about.  I always left this class feeling tense… no… Afraid?… Not quite…

_Rejected._

A sharp pain in my chest let me know that’s the word.

I know it’s nothing personal. The teachers and classmates that have made fun of those who believe in the paranormal and that kind of thing don’t know it’s _my_ kind of thing. But I mean, c’mon! Why make fun of others so harshly? If they only believe in science (even though there are lots of interesting scientific studies on the topic too) or whatever it’s perfectly okay, they have the right to, but what about respect? It’s like that _shaming_ and _anon_ _hate_ everyone talks about in Tumblr. People can choose to believe whatever they want as long as it doesn’t hurt/disrespect others, right?

A long sigh escaped my lips. No point in thinking about this right now. The task at hand was what truly was important right now.

I was headed to Dianne’s. She is my spiritual counselor and an amazing psychic and medium. What’s the difference you may ask? Well, a psychic is someone who perceives information about places and/or people, while a medium can speak to beings from different dimensions. She’s helped me a lot to handle my abilities.

If anyone can give me the answers I’m looking for it’s her, since the only thing my spirit guides will tell me when I ask them about the dream is “ _Very_ _soon_ ”. What does that mean? Will I understand very soon? Will I help the voice very soon? I breathed deeply once again and felt my emotions settle as I kept walking. Ah, breathing is so underrated these days. I was starting to feel relaxed when a thought crossed my mind.

_Oh no._

I took my phone out from my flower bag, quickly smiled at the background –a picture of my French-poodle sticking her tongue out- and then looked at today’s date. To my disappointment, yes, it was May the 15th.

 I sighed. Dianne takes a day off the fifteenth of every month.

How could I be so distracted?

Oh well. Tomorrow it is, then.

I mentally pictured the rest of my day as it usually goes when I don’t have to work. Go back home, eat, do some homework, help with chores, meditate, talk to my parents (but my mom told me in the morning they’d come home in the late afternoon so I have the house for myself, yay!) and spend the rest of the day reading or wasting time in my laptop. Maybe a little dancing work-out. But…

I looked up to the sky. It was cloudy, which is my favorite kind of day. Not only that but it also happens that it isn’t too cold or too hot. The day felt so nice and soothing…

My mouth stretched in a smirky grin.

#

Luckily for me, Ebott Town isn’t that big. A bus ride will suffice to get to the best place I can think of right now. Yes, I enjoy having the house just for myself, I really do but I don’t feel like letting this beautiful weather go to waste. I opened the Facebook app on my phone as I waited in my seat for the bus to get to my destination. I scrolled down my newsfeed until I came across an interesting headline. I arched a brow.

“ _Hollow Earth Hypothesis - Subterranean Civilizations_ ” it read.

I squinted. What?

I follow a lot of spirituality pages. It feels good to know there are a lot of people like me out there and besides I learn a lot. There’s a lot of diversity when it comes to beliefs and that’s something I love as much as connecting with like-minded people but… people living in the center of the Earth?

Huh?

I opened the link to the article and began reading. Nope, I was wrong. Apparently it wasn’t about people living beneath the surface. It was about _aliens_ living beneath the surface. And according to this… they’ve had some kind of underground civilization for years?

I didn’t bother reading the rest.

Not that I could have anyways, because a woman got into the bus and in that moment a light presence stood by my side. I knew what it wanted.

Pretending to look at my phone, I focused my senses on it, trying to read its’ energy. A spiritual guide, no doubt. Beautiful energy. The kind that makes you feel deeply peaceful.

I tried to ignore him.

I’m terribly shy, insecure and a huge introvert as it is -5 ft and 7 in of awkward, that's me!- and spirituality is a touchy subject for a lot of people so whenever a spirit asks me to deliver a message for a stranger it’s just… incredibly scary.

Five minutes passed. He was insistent –but respectful- the whole time. I could feel my throat tighten, the words struggling to just come out, but I refused to let them. No, not because I’m _possessed_ or anything like that _,_ but because in my heart I really want to share this message. 

The bus finally arrived and I stood up to get down. I debated with myself for two seconds. Oh what the hell, I’ll probably never see her again. I held my breath and turned to her. My heart started beating faster.

Ay Dios.

“E-excuse me,” I cleared my throat as my voice came out funny, “lady.”

She locked eyes with me.

“I- uh…” An image of Shia Labeouf shouting ‘ _JUST DO IT’_ came to mind. “I don’t know if you believe in this kind of thing, but there is someone here, um, from the, uh… spirit… world” _Oh God what have I done?_ She just stared at me. My hands began to sweat. “And, uh, well, i-it’s your spiritual guide.” I breathed gathering my courage. If I had already decided to do this, I might as well do it right. I felt my own guides reassuring me that it was okay to release my worries.

It filled me with… determination.

I switched to full psychic medium mode. “He’s asking you not to be afraid, because the change you’re going though is a positive one, which he says you already know so he reassures you everything will be fine and it won’t be difficult. I can also feel your energy and I can feel how worried you are to make the wrong choice, but your guide says that you should take that leap of faith you’ve been thinking about and follow your heart, because possibilities are endless. They truly are! He says that the path will appear once you take the step and he says there’s nothing to be worried about because your needs and your children’s will always be met.” I sighed, feeling relieved as the lump in my throat disappeared. I did it. OhmyGodIdidit.

I looked at the woman’s face. Her eyes were big and watery. I could tell she was struggling to bite back tears- no not only could I tell, I felt it. She’s embarrassed to be seen crying because she has thought for a long time she has to be the strong one. She doesn’t like to feel vulnerable. A giggle came through her lips. She still looks surprised. “I-I’m going through a divorce and today I was just thinking h-how much I want t-to quit my j-job…” She trailed off and her smile wavered and her lower lip trembled. I could feel how much she has wanted to talk about this, but she hasn’t allowed herself to do so. “I-I really want to have my own business. A bakery. B-but I thought I couldn’t leave my job because- I really need the money for my kids so I just-” A couple of tears ran down her cheeks and she was quick to wipe them away with the back of her hand. I searched in my bag, offered her a smile and handed her a tissue. She smiled back at me and used it, taking a few seconds to recover. I grinned and sat next to her. “Trust me, the way your guide explained it, this is something to be really excited about”

I felt a positive shift in her energy. Her eyes met mine and more tears were about to fall. “These- these are really good news” She sniffed and giggled in a hearty way, before hugging me tightly. I felt my own heart sing with joy. “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

 

#

 

Ah, Mount Ebbot here I am. I was definitely happy. Every time I shared messages from spiritual guides a wave of something I couldn’t explain, kind of like a mix of joy, gratitude, peace and basically happiness, hit me with full force. Not only the sharing messages part makes me feel like this, but also the healing it brings to people. There’s nothing I love more than looking at a person heal emotionally. God I love my job. Nothing in my life has ever fulfilled me like this.

Yep, that’s my job in case you were wondering. I’m an Alternative Therapist. If you’ve ever heard about Reiki, energetic therapies and –as you’ve already seen- messages from your spiritual guides, then you’ve met the love of my life.

And nope, not everyone knows about it. I’m working on fully coming out of the closet. Right now I only promote myself whenever I’m absolutely sure I’m with like-minded people.

With a smile from ear to ear, I walked –more like skipped- up the mountain. I just planned to relax, meditate and enjoy the view. There are legends that say that those who climb up the mountain never return. I don’t believe it’s true, I’ve heard of a lot of people who have been there. But I never climb up high. Just in case.

I mentally said hi to nature spirits. They’re super kind and charismatic. Funny even.

I stopped when I found a nice spot and sat down under a tree after asking their permission. Nature is alive in more ways than most humans know. Placing my waist-long dark blonde hair in front of my shoulder, I leaned my back against the tree trunk and extended my long purple skirt after making sure there were no ants. Bugs and I are not enemies (hmm… maybe we are, not sure) but we’re definitely not friends.

 I closed my eyes to begin the meditation. Breathing deeply, I felt myself relax. In a few moments, all tension was gone. The soothing sound of rustling leaves and the fresh air helped a lot. On the inside I was smiling. Ah, peace…

_Look behind you_

The serene voice of my main spiritual guide came through. His energy was eternally loving and peaceful, but I could feel his request was important.

‘ _What do you mean? Is something going on?’_

_Look behind you_

Very important.

For a moment I was afraid he was warning me of something, so I got out of my meditative state feeling somewhat worried. I looked behind the tree over my shoulder. At first I didn’t see anything or anyone, but then my eyes focused on a moving, colored dot in the distance. I squinted.

A child.

My eyebrows knitted slightly. I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl but they were climbing too high. Is the child alone? I looked around but no parents or possible friends came to view. Perhaps they got lost?

I looked back at them. They were climbing way too high. I don’t like this. I was about to ask my guides for confirmation but in that moment the child almost fell. Grabbing my bag, I scrambled to my feet and ran to the child. “Hey! Kid! Wait!” They recovered and kept going up. I called out again, louder this time. They still didn’t hear me. By the time I realized I was climbing quickly after them. I pushed my thoughts of the stupid legend aside, but still convinced myself it couldn’t be real. The previously neutral weather was gradually turning cold and windy. It was a good thing I was wearing long-sleeve shirt, a long skirt and leggings too.

A couple of minutes passed and it was taking me a lot longer to reach them than I thought. Climbing is so not my forte. The town was getting smaller and smaller. I looked away and steadied my hands after the trembling the view caused. I swallowed hard. Where was this kid going? “H-hey, kid, are you lost?” My words drowned in the wind. “Where are your parents?” I said louder to no avail. The wind was stronger and breathing was not so easy now. Finding plain ground, the child disappeared above me. I forced myself to climb faster. Gosh, we’re getting way too far from civilization. I tried hard not to think about how I was supposed to come down or how lonely it looked up ahead. Who knows who or what could be there.

 _You’d better take of me, guys._ I sent the thought out to my spiritual guides. This child must be exactly why they asked me to look behind me. They wouldn’t put me in danger... I finally crawled into to the plain terrain.

Chest heaving up and down I glanced up from the ground, hoping to see them there quietly waiting for me but actually expecting them to be climbing or running away. Either way I was wrong.

My lungs forgot how to breathe and my legs froze in place.

A dark cave. The kind from which not even light can escape, like a black hole, and the jagged and uneven type you only hear about in scary campfire stories and it’s enough to give me the creeps.

Even wind was being pulled into it.

Climbing had already been beyond my comfort zone but I can’t stand dark places. Now there was no freaking way I was going to continue.

But I knew it was a lie the moment I thought of the child again.

In that same moment I felt my guides’ trying to talk to me. I focused quickly but real hard since it becomes extremely difficult for me to understand or feel anything psychically speaking whenever I’m emotionally overwhelmed. I figured it should be some kind of emergency because a word came in no time.

_Phone_

My trembling hands frantically searched for my phone in my bag. Of course. If I just went in and something – _anything_ \- went wrong, nobody on this planet would know I was here. I had to call 911, they’d either take care of it or tell me what to do.

I was ready to dial the number when a small sign that’s never in the screen caught my attention.

No signal.

That can’t be right. I must have misunderstood my guides. Of course I would misunderstand them, I’m too scared and anxious. _Dammit._

If I could get away just enough to get the signal back- no. Time is a very important factor here. What if the child gets lost? Or hurt? What if they’re scared? B-but darkness-

In my panicky state my phone slipped through my fingers. The screen faced the ground and right before my hand touched it to pick it up realization hit me. Right under the camera, was the flash.

True guidance was clear now.

Jumping to my feet, I took my phone with me and against every single instinct in my body, I crossed the entrance of the cave.

“Kid?! Kid, are you here?!” I blessed with my all my heart the flashlight app as I pointed the white light everywhere, keeping my arms as close to my body as possible. Oh God. A huge spider. “Kid?!?!” A loose rock echoed in the somewhat near distance. A flicker of hope within me made me sprint deeper into the cave, calling the child out again, watching my steps and the rocky edges of the cave so I wouldn’t hit my head. Maybe this nightmare was just about to be over. Yes, yes, it’d all be over soon.

Then I found them.

They were standing near the edge of a huge bottomless crater, water dripping from some of the huge teeth-like stalactites in the ceiling.

The moment I laid eyes on them, my fear of spiders was replaced by motherly protectiveness without my permission. “Hey, kid” My voice was soft as I stepped closer. I didn’t want to scare them, they could fall in because of a sudden movement. Besides, their aura, it felt sad and… lonely. But to my surprise I felt no fear. Acknowledging my existence for the first time, the child faced me. They had a plain poker face and medium length straight brown hair with short bangs. “What are you doing here, little friend? This isn’t the right place to play.” I bent down to their eye level so the kid wouldn’t think of me as a threat and we could actually connect. Thank God for Child Psychology lessons. I kept a reasonable distance so I wouldn’t invade their personal space. “Where are your parents?”

They shrugged.

“Did you come alone?”

Before they nodded I felt the heavy feeling my question caused in them.

I cleared my throat. “Well, you’re not alone anymore. I’m here now. What’s your name, sweety?”

***You tell the young woman your name**

“Frisk? That’s a really nice name.  My name is Caroline, nice to meet you.” I carefully reached out my hand for them to shake, considering the possibility if they didn’t want to but they did. I saw them manage a small smile. “Look, Frisk, I can help you find your parents, okay? And I promise you I won’t leave until we do. But we have to get out of here first. Besides it’s getting cold in here, don’t you think?”

This was pretty much solved. I felt in Frisk’s aura they trusted me so I doubted they would refuse to at least follow me out of the cave. But I meant every single word I said. I definitely planned on keeping my promise and staying with Frisk until making sure they’re safe. So far, this turned out to be a lot simpler than I thought it would be and I was grateful for that. No one disappeared and we were both coming back from Mount Ebott, yay!

Just as Frisk was about to answer, a small crack spread in the ground beneath them.

Ignoring the mini heart attack going on inside me, I tried to keep a calm expression and slowly made my way to the startled child. It was a small crack and Frisk didn’t look heavy. It would hold. Yes of course it would.

The rocky ground shattered.

I jumped to catch Frisk’s extended hand and even though I grasped it, it was already too late.

Their weight pulled me down into the void. I had nothing to hold onto and I could have sworn I felt someone push me in.

Knowing my fate, my arms wrapped tightly around the child and I pressed my eyes shut, welcoming the wild echo of the wind in my ears and this new world of spinning darkness.


	2. Every awakening is a new journey

A sweet, sticky scent tingled my nose.

Reddish-yellow light glowed through my eyelids. But it seemed far away, as if down a long cluttered tunnel. A shadow looms above me to my left, still distant and almost floating like a dream. Shifting slightly, I feel my back pressed –more like pinned down- against something soft and damp, and the numbness in my limbs along with the smell of grass slowly make its way into my consciousness.

It takes every ounce of strength in my body to bring myself to care and fight the urge of letting myself drown in slumber, removed from the world.

As I crack my eyes open, indecipherable flashes of dark and light mesh together, blurring into a series of smoldering images. I bring my hands up in a weak attempt to shield my eyes from the strong light above.

After a few blinks, the first thing that comes into focus is a child's… no… Frisk's face staring down at me, quietly sitting in the ground next to my body.

Finally, reality sweeps in.

My eyes widen and I manage to stop myself right before shooting to a sitting position. Instead, I slowly push myself off the ground -grass and golden flowers- in order to avoid dizziness and further injuries because, if I remember correctly, I shouldn't be alive after that fall. But to my surprise nothing in my body hurts and that is enough for me before my hands found the sides of Frisk's head. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" My voice came out a little hoarse and my gaze quickly scanned the kid's body up and down, not even paying attention to the nod and shaking of their head that came as a response. But everything seemed to be in order. Not a scratch.

Not a single one.

I wrap my arms around theirs in a quick hug, grinning like an idiot. "I… I can't believe this- I…" I giggle and only then I take a closer look at myself. There wasn't a single scratch or bruise in me either. My clothes didn't even look tattered, only a little dirt here and there but that was it. Aside my heavy and clumsy moves as if it's been a long time since I last was in a human body, there was no visible trace of the fall. Except…

An adhesive bandage surrounded the tip of my index finger. I examined it closely before my head turned to Frisk, who was smiling gently at me. My mouth stretched into a shaky smile. "Thank you," I mouthed, having my throat swelled shut and tears pricking my eyes.

Frisk was alive. I was alive. We made it.

We freaking made it.

Hiding my face, I stumbled to my feet, glad to feel my strength slowly coming back, and yanked my head back towards the opening where we fell from.

And that was my first mistake.

The height. That was the only thing I could actually focus on. I tried to picture the fall in several different ways, but no matter how I looked at it, how we survived was to forever remain a mystery. God, the opening was far. Impossibly far. So I just stood there, unable to pry my eyes away, losing the concept of time passing in the process and feeling myself shrink and the distance grow the longer I stared.

Finally one word came to mind, almost like a whisper, yet with the power to shake me to the core.

_Unreachable._

My heart pounded and my knees went weak.

Emptiness ate away my insides.

I noticed my hands were shaking and I held them to my chest. I knew I had understood without having to think. _No. There is always a way_. _There is_ **always** _a way._ My dad's words. I looked in every direction, still in a daze, and close to where I'd landed, was my bag.

A spark of hope ignited me. By the next second, I'd already crawled to my bag and was frantically searching for my phone; which much to my joy, survived. But even if it still worked, I looked hard to make out what was behind the crack on the screen. Yet I knew the words had been clear enough from the beginning.

_No service_

Had it been different circumstances, I would have easily recognized in myself a perfect example of the defense mechanism of denial.

I stood up and pointed my phone towards the opening, where I pictured the sky to be. _Yes, the sky I would be seeing again VERY soon_ , and walked around all over the place again and again and again.

But just like the realist part of me already knew, nothing changed.

Gradually, the reality of our situation started to sink in.

The cruel, dark, bitter reality.

My insides squirmed like a nest of snakes and I tried to sit down, but it was more like a stumble and fall that left me in a trembling heap on the golden flowers _._ Several moments passed but I was too overwhelmed to move. Tears threatened to fill my eyes again but I bit my cheek, refusing to let them come. _Okay, Caro, it's okay to be scared. It's perfectly okay to be scared, but_ _you need to_ _CALM. DOWN._ I finally forced myself to look up at the opening again.

That was my second mistake.

A storm of emotions wrenched my gut. I tried hard not to think I might never see home again, but the truth is I already was. I pictured my parents' pain when they realized I was missing and the awful scenarios that would go through their heads. But laced through it all, beyond the battle of emotions in my heart and mind, was the sinister feeling of utter hopelessness as I stared at the light above, like the world had ended for me, and I knew I would never forget this moment.

And then something occurred to me, something that left me breathless, wondering why I didn't think of it before.

Suddenly aware of Frisk's existence again, I turned to them, realizing they had remained on the same spot on the ground. Somehow it didn't struck to me as odd how unnervingly patient and serene they seemed.

"Frisk, I know! Just- just hold on a sec! Don't worry, I've got this! I've got this! Hahaha!" I beamed at them, sitting cross-legged with my back as straight as possible, closing my eyes and not caring in the slightest what they might think of my odd, ever-changing behavior.

I inhaled deeply, in an attempt to slow down my breathing and trying to claim back the battleground at the center of my chest that once was my heart. _C'mon, c'mon_ …

Nonetheless, I found myself unable to silence my mind and my only and greatest accomplishment after several intakes of air was to feel the mess I'd made of my aura with my loud, hopeless and fearful thoughts. And the mess I was making of it now because despite my uneasiness, I felt a slow flame of frustration burning my chest. _Where are you guys?_

For a second I must have gotten my inner psychic hamster run on its wheel or something because I barely made out two words from my spiritual guides.

_Follow. Child._

The burning grew hot and furious, searing away the fear. My jaw clenched. _Nonono, you have tell me how to get out. You brought me here. If I hadn't gone into the cave, I could have asked for help and got them out. What are we supposed to eat? Or drink? Huh?! Frisk is just a child and-_

_Wait. Follow-?_

My eyes snapped open. Turning to my left, Frisk was gone.

_Shit._

I shouldered my bag. My heart careened around my ribcage like a bat as I raced through the only visible path that resembled a corridor, guilt gnawing at me in every step. I mentally apologized to my guides for snapping at them and I was definitely going to apologize to Frisk for acting so strange since the fall, I'm sure I scared them. _You're the adult here, Caro, no more freaking out_. _This child needs your support,_ I told myself. When I reached the bottom, to my left were two large roman-looking columns that revealed some kind of entrance and my heart skipped a beat. Someone had to put that there. Between the columns at the top was a strange, deeply intriguing engraving that took me a second to recognize as an emblem.

I shivered as my stomach twisted into a tight little ball.

It was an orb between two wings and three triangles beneath it, the middle one lower and inverted.

Something cold fell on my hand, snapping me out of my thoughts. It was a drop of water and only then I realized my cheek was wet.

I didn't need this right now.

Pushing aside the energy imprint I got from the emblem, I crossed the entrance, calling out Frisk's name.

It was a bit darker than the previous room, but there they were much to my relief, standing in front of a golden flower like the ones we saw before.

Yet this one had a smiley face on it.

"Howdy!" It greeted in an amiable, cartoony shrill voice. "I'm FLOWEY! FLOWEY the FLOWER!"

Oh God I was hallucinating. Maybe my teacher had been right all along and I was a pre-psychotic young adult moving onto the next phase of my delusion. I was tempted to pinch myself to see if this was a twisted dream. Maybe I had hit my head really hard in the fall and I was in a comma. "Frisk…" I whispered, almost laughing to myself, and hysterical giggles would have come out hadn't I been too worried about my mental health.

Still, the child too kept their gaze on the same area.

"Hmmm… You're new to the Underground, aren'tcha? Golly you must be so confused" It kept _freaking_ talking, perfect, overly-friendly grin in place.

The flower locked eyes with me. It expected a reply. _OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! What do I do? What do I DO?!_ My mouth opened and intelligently stayed that way for two full seconds. "K-kind of?"

"Someone ought to teach you how things work around here!" The gleam in the flower's eyes grew brighter. "I guess little old me will have to do"

_The heck does that mean?_

A subtle popping sound came from everywhere and nowhere all at once, and suddenly a green heart came out of my chest -as in _A CHILD'S_ version of a heart- only to float in front of me.

I could only stare, feeling my life get more surreal by the second.

"See that heart? That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!" Flowey enthusiastically explained. Feeling an instant connection to the green heart, his words rang true, giving me the same 'click' sensation in the center of my chest whenever I received some kind of psychic information that I knew to be real. The green heart – _my_ _soul_ \- glimmered instantly at the feeling, making the experience seem even more like an illusion.

I noticed that next to my… _soul_ … and in front of Frisk, was a red heart. Frisk's soul? "Your SOUL starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV" Flowey beamed, happily waving the two green leaves he had for arms. Did I just turn into Alice and found my own version of Wonderland?

"LV? What, uh, does that… mean?" I felt myself grow slightly bolder. Bolder to hold a conversation with a flower that held an uncomfortable resemblance to an old Mexican anti-drug TV campaign I remembered from when I was a like 5 years old. _((A.N: Go to google images: "vive sin drogas tv azteca flor." It's the first picture_ ))

"Why, LOVE, of course!" Flowey the Flower stated so simply I almost laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. "You want some LOVE, don't you? Don't worry, I'll share some with you."

Even in the growing, morphing mess of my emotions, it was safe to say Flowey's aura was way different from what I recognize to be a normal flower's energy. My thoughts spun in several directions at once. Am I really trapped here forever? Is any of this actually happening? What if I truly am hallucinating? Is he a… he? He's just a flower.

Nonetheless I couldn't help but ponder over his previous words. If they'd come from a spiritual teacher, I would've thought them to be beautiful and deep, having seen in my own spiritual path that indeed, just like Flowey said, one's soul (and energy) gets stronger with love. But I'm not so sure it means the same to this particular flower…

Real or not, I put Frisk behind me.

Flowey winked, sticking his tongue out. A white spark of light was visible, and suddenly a few small spinning white ovals hovered in front of us. "Down here, LOVE is shared through little white… _Friendliness pellets_. Are you ready?" There was an excited edge to his voice.

Friendliness pellets…

Is any of this for real?

_Guides, what do I do…?_

I… nodded. _Come on, it's just a little flower. What's he gonna do to me?_

"Move around, get as many as you can!" The flower exclaimed and the friendliness pellets(?) started coming closer to me. I discovered I could move my soul too, so I hesitatingly got it to float towards them. It was an odd, surreal but at the same time natural sensation. And right before my green heart touched one of the pellets, I felt it.

I felt the heavy, angry, dense energy they contained.

But it was too late.

Gasping, I felt something push me –my soul- aside. My body collapsed on the ground. I looked up, unharmed but frightened.

It was Frisk's red heart. It had pushed hard enough to also dodge the ovals.

"You id i o t"

A hideous, thick hiss filled the air and my gaze turned back to the flower. To my horror it was no longer the same one.

His smiley-face distorted into dead white eyes and a wolfish grin that iced me to the core. "In this world it's kill or B E killed."

This felt like something out of a nightmare.

"Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this?!" Several more white bullets appeared, completely encircling Frisk and I, along with our souls, whirling non-stop around us. My voice was caught in my throat and I desperately tried to get my soul back into my body, but other than moving it around, I had absolutely no power over it. I gazed around for a suitable escape route, but we were completely trapped. Panic rose in me like a black tide and I stumbled my way to Frisk, only to hold them tightly.

I felt the last drop of hope drain from my body.

"DIE." He giggled darkly for what felt like an eternity, but could only have been a few seconds, the world freezing in place. I moved my green heart, uselessly trying to overlap Frisk's soul as the bullets crept their way to us, before squeezing my stinging eyes shut.

I was going to be murdered by a flower. A small, mutant flower with an emoji for a face.

The giggles choked and I heard a gasp. My eyes opened to barely catch the traces of an orange flame that, somehow in this bizarre world, didn't burn but sent the flower flying away. I looked to my right.

Standing in two paws, concern etched on her features, was a goat. A tall, cute humanoid goat, with short horns, droopy ears, fangs exposed and long eyelashes, wearing a pretty long purple robe. "What a terrible creature. Torturing such poor, innocent youth…" She said in the softest, most delicate, mature voice I've ever heard.

The weirdness kept growing weirder.

It was too much. I felt my sanity unravel like frayed cloth.

My breath came in short uneven gasps and all I could try to do was move Frisk behind me once again.

"Oh, please, do not be afraid, my children! I mean no harm at all!" The woman-goat said reassuringly, keeping her distance from us presumably not to scare us further. "I am Toriel caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first humans to come here in a long time." She smiled kindly.

My chest kept heaving. I didn't really have time to process what Toriel said. I was actually trying to decide whether I was more confused or scared. In that moment, the green heart finally decided to get back into my body, like a little kid that is done playing outside.

"Come! I will guide you through the catacombs" Toriel motioned for us to follow.

When I turned to face Frisk, they were no longer behind me and were already walking next to the woman-goat, waiting for me.

Peaceful, stone expression in place.

My brain was awake now, with a surge of adrenaline that should carry me up to standing but cold, heavy limbs disobey.

"Come, children. This way." Toriel said and with that, I saw her disappear in the distance along with Frisk, who only beckoned me once more to go with them.

Everything seemed fake. As if this was a twisted coating over reality, as if I wasn't looking at the real world at all. I hesitated, waiting for my pulse to slow to something resembling normal. It didn't.

Doing my best to suppress everything I was feeling, I followed.


	3. We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown

"Child! Are you okay?"

It took three tries to get back on my feet and even though Toriel was quick to come back as soon as she noticed I wasn't following, at last I managed to pull myself up before she came too close and took a step. And another. And another. Until I'm finally walking.

She keeps shooting me glances and obsessively asking if I'm okay because according to her I look really pale. I have too much emotional interference to make anything out from my guides or to read energies but I can't afford letting my guard down. I can still feel myself shaking. I'm not failing Frisk again, it almost costed us our lives. Every time Toriel asks, I straighten my back, lift my chin slightly and put my calmest face, perhaps even coming out as unfriendly, trying to look the least vulnerable possible just to reassure her I'm fine. I'm not giving her the satisfaction to mark me as an easy, weak target. Although I know it's useless to pretend at this point. She's already seen how terrified I can be of her and I'm not that good at hiding my emotions.

Not anymore.

Realizing my capacity to trust others is broken and not knowing how long it'll take me to repair it –and not sure if I even want to-, I choose to focus on my new surroundings instead. In that moment the murderer flower comes to mind and in spite of being well aware that his horrific image has already been traumatically burned into my brain, I force myself to send it to some dark corner in the depths of my mind, worrying that I might never sleep in peace again. I need to separate myself from my feelings for a while and just move forward. Step by step. Figure it all out.

We've moved to a different room and it isn't dark anymore; the stone walls and the ground are a vivid shade of purple and auburn leaves are scattered all over the place. Toriel and Frisk climb one of the two radiant, pearl-white staircases at the bottom that lead to another entrance that resembles a door frame.

My shock continues to grow. Who built all of this? Is everything I'm looking at right now only in my head?

A thousand questions start popping up inside my head, curiosity and intrigue overshadowing ever so slightly the fear in me. I'm not ready to leave, but I force myself to do so, reminding myself that Frisk is alone with Toriel. I quickly climb up one of the staircases, two steps at a time. The child and Toriel are waiting for me at the other side of the entrance.

But apparently my fascination is destined to take over me.

"Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins, innocent ones." Toriel says, as she is standing next to three rows of round switches in the ground, two switches per row. Behind her in the farthest wall of the small room, there is a closed purple double door with the same emblem I saw before, a yellow lever next to it. "Watch me closely, please."

She then proceeds to slowly walk on the switches avoiding the ones in the middle row, making sure we are paying attention. Afterwards, she pulls the lever down and a click sound follows, making the double door open at once. Turning to us, Toriel smiles once again. "The Ruins are full of puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them."

Despite my alertness and the tension in the back of my neck after switching myself to survival mode and allowing my amygdalae to take the wheel, I suddenly feel like I'm inside a Legend of Zelda's game and I can't help but be mesmerized at all these complex mechanisms I thought were only possible in videogames. Indeed I must be hallucinating.

"And there is more you have yet to see, my children." Toriel chuckles after seeing my face and only then I realize I'm gawking. "Let us move on"

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Frisk pointing to something on the wall before they follow Toriel when she moves to the next room.

My eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion, but I turn to the direction they signaled. It's a plaque I didn't notice before. How could I miss it? I take a closer look at it.

" _Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road."_

What?

It takes me a second to realize this is the hint to solve the puzzle, but except for the ' _walk not the middle road part_ ' I don't completely understand the rest of the riddle. I can't help but keep wondering if any of this is real.

Hearing Toriel's voice, I hurry to take out my phone and take a picture of the plaque and skitter to reach her and Frisk.

There is the slightest trace of a smile in my lips. This room is even prettier than the last. It consists on a wide, long hall, with green vines in the walls – _thank God I like purple_ \- and two small, crystalline rivers with copper brown stone bridges to cross them.

How is this even possible?

More switches cover the walls, two of them pointed by yellow, hand-painted arrows. Toriel was quick to explain that she labeled the right ones to teach us easily how everything works and then asked us to press them.

I saw Frisk's arm slowly starting to go up.

"I-I'll do it!" Stepping in front of them, I raised my hand. Of course I wasn't going to let them do it. _As if_. I was nowhere near trusting this goat-woman. However, Toriel's grin only grew wider and even clapped a little.

"Very good! It makes me very glad to see such an enthusiastic child like you! Please, go ahead."

Her scarlet eyes catch my attention. I would normally be very afraid of red eyes, but there's something about them… No wavering. No hesitation in her expression… almost like it's genuine.

Almost.

I shake my head and make my way to the switch, heart pounding and knees trembling. I notice something is written next to it in the same yellow paint. My eyes narrow.

' _Please press this switch_

_-Toriel'_

Repressing the smile that attempts to make an appearance in my face, I mentally scold myself. This could all be a very well planned act. She could be after Frisk and I, and might be just playing with her food a little. My hand hovers over the switch as I bite my lower lip hard. _Please, let it not be a trap. Please, please let it not be a trap._

"Take your time, child. I know you can do it." Toriel encourages me, voice completely devoid of sarcasm. "I have faith in you. So far you are doing a very good work. You are very close!" Next to her, Frisk only gives me a thumbs-up with an amused smile.

For a moment I think of that silly but hilarious –to me at least- Spongebob episode, in which Patrick learns to remove the lid of a jar. This is exactly what I must look like right now.

With fear squeezing my chest, I press it. There are no white bullets, distorted faces, evil laughs, cages, traps or anything remotely close to the thousand scenarios that play in my head. Instead, much to my surprise and relief, it only unblocked our way to the area ahead. I release a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"Congratulations! You did it, my child!" Toriel clasps her paws together and looks at me as if what I just did it was the greatest accomplishment she'd ever seen. "Oh, I'm so proud of you!"

I squint and wait.

_But nope._

No sarcasm.

"Th-thanks" I fake a small smile. She grins back fondly.

_What is going on in this place?_

I follow right after her and Frisk, and the next purple room is completely empty except for a white training dummy that looks really soft and I had to admit downright adorable. The only good thing about this psychotic break. Besides Frisk, of course. Toriel stops walking. "As humans in the Underground, monsters may attack you. You will need to…"

Her mouth kept moving but I stopped listening.

_Monsters._

The word bounces around the inside of my skull.

The flower. This goat-woman.

They are monsters.

And there are more of them.

"...however, worry not!" Toriel elaborates. "The process is simple! When you encounter a monster you will begin a FIGHT"

A sick feeling rose to my stomach making me nauseous and afraid. _HERE IS THE TRAP, HERE IS THE TRAP,_ my brain internally screamed over and over again. That was about it. I stepped to the front, finding my voice again. "Toriel," I began slowly, watching my tone, not wanting to risk finding out what would happen if I made her – _a monster_ \- angry, "it's been… _really_ nice meeting you, but you see, we're-we are _not_ looking for a… fight." I gently grasped Frisk's shoulders. "We _deeply_ respect you and the other…" I didn't dare to use the word _monster_ , unsure if that would offend her even though she just used it, "… _others._ " I quickly finished, clearing my throat. "We'll just, um, find a… different way out. Thankyouverymuch" My head bowed rapidly, hoping my face wouldn't betray how terrified I was, before spinning in my heels.

"Child, wait! You did not allow me finish, young one. I cannot tolerate violence myself! That is why while you are in a FIGHT, you must strike up a friendly conversation"

My heart skips a beat. I've heard something similar before. _Friendliness pellets_. Does the word 'friend' and all of its derivations have the same deceiving and cruel meaning in the Underground? Is she playing a twisted game with us? My head snaps in her direction with a glance that hides anger and distrust.

But mostly fear.

For the first time since meeting Toriel I see her features flicker with something. It was quickly gone, but I knew what I saw and it only left me more confused and at war with myself.

It was a flash of hurt.

"Just… stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict. You may practice talking to the dummy." Toriel walked next to the lovely dummy, followed by Frisk and I stood motionless. What would happen if I took Frisk and ran away?

"You may go ahead child." Toriel encouraged me softly and I… had no choice?

"Okay." I murmured, my tone dead. I couldn't let her see my fear. Managing to remember how to walk, I nervously placed myself in front of the dummy. I was getting tired of asking myself each time if every single action from Toriel was a trap. But I was too afraid it could be. After the flower incident how could I not? Yet, how can someone fake a micro expression? What if she truly means well? _God, I don't know!_ Taking a deep breath, I gazed into the dummy's eyes.

There was the omnipresent popping sound again and my soul abandoned my flesh one more time, startling me. For a moment it was just the dummy and I.

Nothing happened. Nobody was attacking me.

Gasping quietly, I forced myself to relax. _Come on, it's just a dummy._ _So far no traps. I could use a friendly conversation, right?_ "Hi." Nerves diminished, I smiled.

"My name is Caroline. Um, it's nice to meet you." I found myself fidgeting a bit and struggling to find conversation topics, just like I would around a new person. _What's wrong with me?_ I exhaled, determined to lighten up a bit -an advice I was often given by the spirits of nature-. _It's just a cute dummy. A cute dummy. No tricks. Just pretend they're someone random that wants to meet you and listen to you._ _You already lost your mind for all that you know._

"I'm… new to the Underground. And to be honest it's…- being new always makes me nervous. Everyone's been new to something so I guess you must have an idea of what that feels like. It's been a little scary, honestly. Okay, you got me." I chuckled a little. "It's been terrifying." My eyes widened in realization. "Of course I don't mean to say you are terrifying or your home or your friends or anything like that! I mean- I meant-! Ugh, please forget I said that." Releasing a long sigh, I took my fist to my forehead. It turns out I even screw up my socializations with non-real people. That's new.

"I'm really sorry, dummy, I'm not myself right now. I'm usually a lot nicer. I wish we had met under different circumstances and you could see that normally I'm not like this. It's just… I know nothing about this place and…I don't understand it. Things work pretty differently where I come from when it comes to basically everything. I'm away from home. And worried. And anxious. And you know what? I don't even know _when_ …" _Or if_ , my brain whispered and I ignored it, "… I'll be back to my place." My throat tightened and it took me a bit to be able to talk again.

I tried to swallow. It didn't work. "… Everything's new and odd here. I know it's just a matter of perspective, to you I must be the odd one so, _odd_ according to what or who, right? But God, I… I don't know. That's not true either, because I do know. I'm just afraid of the unknown. The future, for example." I finished barely above a whisper, before I shook my head to prevent tears from fabricating. "You are such a great listener, have others told you that before? Because you are. I mean it. Dummy, I could definitely use a new friend here, and I mean, look at you! You must have lots of monsters that want to be your friends. You don't judge, you listen attentively and you are adorable! Honestly, that's the first thing I thought when I saw you." If only I were this bold and honest whenever I meet real people. Too bad it may be just a little too late to learn. "… But... but if you would like to befriend this lost and confused human… me… well... that would be awesome, heh. You get to call me _odd_ too, haha, I shouldn't have said that, I'm really sorry. And whether you want or not to be my friend, I promise I will listen to you too if you ever need it. You must have a lot of things to say too, right?" I knew the last words sounded a bit strained through my sad and pained smile. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stand this. I know nothing. I kissed the dummy on the cheek and hugged them. "Thank you, cute dummy." Much to my surprise, I did feel better and calmer. Comforted. Even though I knew they weren't real.

The next moment, I was back in the purple room and the green heart had returned to its' place. Toriel looked dazzled. "Excellent! That was splendid, sweet one!"

"Thank you" I say dryly, clearing my throat, trying to regain my composure as I bring myself back to reality.

Again, the flash of hurt. Toriel beckoned us to follow her to the next room. Before I started to walk after her, something tugged at my shirt twice. I glanced down.

It was Frisk extending their arm, handing me a tissue.

My cheeks were wet again.

Their kindness gets me every time. Grinning, I take the tissue and hold it close to my heart. "Thank you very much, Frisk. That is very thoughtful of you"

They shake their head **. *You explain Caroline that Toriel asked you to give the tissue to her**

"What? Toriel gave you this?"

Frisk nods.

"Huh…" I stare at the entrance of the next room where I saw her disappear. "Did she tell you why she didn't give it to me herself?"

***You tell Caroline what Toriel said**

"She told you I'm afraid of her? Oh…" My gaze lowers. I know the feeling stirring in my insides very well.

_Guilt._

But then I remember something that snaps me out of my conflicted state. _Of course!_ "Frisk… what do you think of Tori-?"

Right before I can finish my question, something terrible happens. A strangled cry fills the air, and only when my throat hurts I realize I'm screaming as I land in the ground.

A frog of the size of a cocker spaniel jumps at us.

Frisk's soul and mine are out of our bodies in a split second.

I see movement in my peripheral vision and my head snaps to my right. Frisk is frantically waving their hand at me.

Just as I was about to tell them to take cover, they quickly point at me before pointing at their own eyes. They're asking me to… observe them?

They turn to the frog.

***You compliment Froggit**

***Froggit didn't understand what you said but was flattered anyway.**

I saw the frog smile in satisfaction. In that moment, Toriel ran to us as if her life depended on it and with only one glare for a warning that reminded me a lot of my own mom when she gets mad, the frog left, head hanging low and the expression of a scolded puppy. I actually felt bad for it.

Wait, what?

Pretty soon my eyes felt huge and swollen from staring so long without blinking.

"Are you alright, my children?" Frisk nodded in response to Toriel and I barely felt myself do the same. My thoughts spun in a new direction.

* * *

After that, we solved one more puzzle. Well, more like Toriel solved it since it was 'too dangerous'. I was starting to relax, no tricks so far, but then came the worst.

"Child, could you please come with me?" Toriel asks me and I am back to suspicion mode. My whole body tenses. "Please?" She tilts her head a bit and Frisk's words ring in my ears again. Toriel is well aware of how afraid I am of her.

I gaze into her pleading red eyes. The talk with the dummy did something to me.

Am I being unfair?

"Okay" I say, voice wavering slightly. Her small frown turns upside down.

Am I going to regret this?

"Little one," She looks at Frisk, "I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourself. Forgive me for this."

Then she takes my hand and practically drags me across an endless hall, only to hide us both behind one of those roman-looking pillars, at the end of it.

"Wha- what are you doing?!" Is she going to trap Frisk? Is she trying to separate us to turn us against each other?! Is she working by the _Divide and conquer_ principle?!

"Sshhhh… This is important in the development of a child." She whispers. "This exercise is to test their independence. Look"

Emotions churning, my gaze travels to Frisk. They make their way towards us in that ridiculously calm way I was beginning to get familiarized with.

I huff humorously and give Toriel a sideways glance, focusing on her mesmerized and hopeful red eyes once more for a several moments, as she observs Frisk. I grin to myself.

No matter the color, those are the sincerest and most motherly eyes I've ever seen in my life.

It is in that moment that I decide to trust her.

Frisk finally reaches us and Toriel comes out of the pillar, taking my hand in hers and pulling me out of our hiding spot softly.

"Greetings, my child! Do not worry, we did not leave you. We were merely behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me" She shoots me a quick glance at the last part and I feel a glimmer of hope inside my chest that I know isn't mine. Realization hits me. _OHMYGOD I'm feeling her energy!_

"However, there was an important reason for this exercise…. to test your independence and you succeeded!" Her head turns to me. "Now, I must attend to some business. You two must stay alone for a while." _WHAT? PLEASE, NONONO_ "Please remain here. It is dangerous to explore by yourselves"

"But you will come back, right?" I ask Toriel, worry filtering in my voice unvoluntarily, and I swear I hear Frisk snickering. Toriel's aura beams at my question.

"Of course my child! Do not worry. I would be incapable of abandoning you" She pats my head softly. "I have an idea to ease your mind. I will give you a cellphone."

Monsters use cellphones? They have technology here too? "Oh, I already have one. I mean, I don't think it'll work here, but…" My eyebrows knit together. After taking my phone out of my bag to show it to Toriel, I saw there was an odd sign unlike any other I've seen before. It no longer said 'No service' but it wasn't back to normal either.

"Fantastic! Then I will give this one to the tiny child." Toriel handed Frisk a phone. "If you have a need for anything, just call. Be good, alright?"

"Alright" I reassured her, but when I saw Toriel turn around, I couldn't help but reach out to stop her. "Oh! What is it, child?"

"I… I really want to thank you for everything you've done for us. I really appreciate it and it's something I'll never forget. Thank you very much, Toriel." I took my palm to my chest, a gesture I've realized I tend to do whenever I want to make sure the others know I mean whole-heartedly my words. "I also realized I never introduced myself properly. I'm sorry. My name is Caroline" Smiling sincerely, I extended my hand to her. Confused, she looked at it, back at my face and then down to my hand again. Soon a huge smile spread across her face, lighting her features. She took my hand with both of her soft paws, squeezing and covering it completely, shaking it a bit. She was feeling something similar to what I felt when I found that Frisk had put a bandage around my finger.

"Aww! That is so-! That is so sweet of you! It's such a pleasure to meet you, child! I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins."

I almost laughed when she called me child after I just told her my name, but I didn't mind at all. She gently let go of my hand.

"Well, I'll be seeing both of you soon." With a new found enthusiasm, she turned around and we saw her continue her way. The wait begins.

I turned to Frisk. "Well, I guess it's just you and me again, little friend. You wanna sit down?" I offered, but they shook their head and pointed in Toriel's direction.

Mimicking them, I shook my own head. "I'm sorry but we can't do that, Frisk. I know you really like Toriel, but she asked us to wait for her here and I think she's right when she said it's safer for us. We don't know-" I trailed off. The realization that Frisk and I are alone hit me. I remembered something.

I decide to get a bit comfortable and sit on the ground, leaning my back against the purple wall. "Frisk, can I… ask you something?"

The corners of their lips curl and they give me a nod.

I know their answer before I even ask.

"You are… different… from others, aren't you? From other kids, for example? Like… you can see, or sense, or know things others don't or can't… sometimes even before they happen… don't you?"

Their lips curve even more. Another nod.

I chuckle. "Yeah, I'm like that too. Well, I can't exactly see the future. Although I've gotten glimpses of it before, but it happens randomly or if I'm too deep in meditation." I shake myself. "Anyways, I'm digressing. You… you've seen a lot of things, haven't you?"

***You tell Caroline she is right**

I hum in response. "I thought so. Wise beyond your years… You are an old soul, Frisk. But you already knew that, didn't you?" My lips stretch into a smile. "That means you are here to change the world. To help make it a better place somehow."

At that statement, Frisk goes completely serious.

One of the ways I also perceive things is through images in my mind. Sometimes it's a metaphor or scene that I see playing out, a symbol of some sort or colors and shapes. These symbols can invoke feelings or ideas and often have a much more profound and deeper meaning than the image itself. Usually, I will feel/know something that tells me what the images mean, since they speak to me through my own inner symbolism. That's why those dream interpretation dictionaries don't exactly work, because most of the time it isn't about universal meanings, but about what a symbol means/represents to _you_.

This time I see a black, heavy and rough rock. But it is the meaning and the oppressing feelings that accompany it that leave me astonished.

The weighty burden of regret, guilt and sorrow this child is carrying.

And I know where it comes from.

Frisk is now sitting next to me, looking at the ground while hugging their knees. Ignoring the tightness in my own chest, my hand reaches out to their back and I pat them for a little while. I see their shoulders relax a bit and there's that loneliness feeling again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Their gaze still avoids mine. They shake their head.

"That's okay." My hand moves to their hair and I comb it a little with my fingers, since it's a bit messy after the encounter with the frog. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But if you ever feel like it, know you can tell me. I'm here for you. Alright?" They give me a weak nod. I smile inwardly. "Can I give you a hug?" My arms extend and finally meeting my gaze, they nod a little more energetically this time.

I hold them in silence for a few moments and feel their aura shift gradually. The feeling of loneliness in their heart slowly dispels –at least for now- and their mood improves slightly, but the energetic density around their throat tells me there are several things they're keeping to themselves. Words and truths that are being held back but desperately want – _need_ \- to be expressed. I understand what that feels like; to have so many things demanding to be said, but fear, insecurities and anxiety preventing them at the same time to come out. I wish their pain was taken away.

After all, it must be really difficult to remember in detail all of your past lives.


	4. What causes night in you, may leave stars

"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions."

I always agreed with that quote. Experiences can change us in so many unexpected, yet amazing ways. Like Victor Hugo said in Les miserables, "To travel is to be born and to die at every instant"; and from my point of view, life itself is a journey. I like to think we are not the same person we were yesterday, meaning that we are a permanent work-in-progress.

That is why when I fell into the Underground, I knew it would inevitably change me. I knew I would never be the same. Yet in the little time I'd been there I still had to see the evidence of the new me. Nonetheless, I experienced the first stages of my transformation sooner than I anticipated.

It all started with a growl.

A ferocious, thundering, savage growl.

The growl of my stomach.

* * *

I don't think of myself as the rebellious kind of person. I usually dislike breaking rules or will feel extremely guilty doing so, unless I consider I have a very valid reason for it.

So when I actually left the room Toriel asked us to stay in because Frisk said they knew where to find something to eat after listening to my tummy's demands, I noticed a part of me feeling like I had just absolutely betrayed Toriel's trust.

And it only grew worse.

Right after we dared to leave the room, Toriel called to – _guess what_ \- make sure we were still in the place we were told to stay. Of course, she didn't actually give me a chance to say anything since she was speaking so fast and was extremely quick to hang up.

I felt like Rapunzel in Tangled right after she leaves her tower.

Two rooms ahead, Frisk led me to a bowl of candy on top of a small pillar. ' _Take one_ ', it read.

At first I was wary. Who could possibly trust a lonely bowl of candy at the center of an otherwise empty room that apparently was created for that sole purpose? Or was the purpose to lure unsuspecting fallen humans?

Frisk only giggled at my paranoia and to my dismay, they grabbed a piece of candy.

_*Thump*_

Ignoring the protests of my own body after tackling Frisk to the ground, my eyes frantically searched the room for several moments, waiting for something terrible to happen.

Silence.

More seconds passed…

Awkward silence.

I apologized to Frisk as I helped them to their feet and dusted off their clothes. They didn't seem to mind at all. In fact they grabbed two more candies, which only made it harder for me to keep my nerves under control. Thankfully, besides having the bowl drop, which is something we're not proud of, nothing else happened.

I also made a new friend with Frisk's help. It was the frog from earlier; their name is Froggit and they are actually very nice. It turns out that you can actually refuse (more or less) to FIGHT monsters by choosing to ACT instead, as well as be merciful whenever your opponent doesn't want to battle you anymore. I'm still terrified at the idea of being attacked by random monsters, but at least I don't have to go through the whole fight in the traditional sense in order to survive and that is a huge relief. Monsters can spare me too and I can defend myself appealing to that kinder and forgiving side of them. That means that if it comes to it, I'm not forced to hurt anyone just to protect Frisk. Froggit was really insistent that we use mercy whenever monsters stop wanting to fight us and I don't think I could have it any other way.

I can only hope monsters are willing to use their mercy on us too.

As soon as Froggit left, I found myself facing another dilemma that Frisk presented to me. Apparently the candies were only a snack in our journey to the actual food. The only reason I agreed to it, was because the voice of my spiritual guides cut through, answering my question before I even asked it.

 _'_ _Go.'_ , was all they said and that was enough for me.

And what a journey, indeed.

Toriel called more times asking for our favorite flavors and Frisk and I agreed on cinnamon over butterscotch. Besides thanking us for being patient, she didn't say anything else about the room we were supposed to be waiting at, which brought the guilt back again. Nevertheless, I was soon distracted since I had many opportunities to practice what Froggit, Toriel and Frisk taught me.

Meaning many FIGHTS.

Luckily for me, no monster resembled the evil flower in slightest. But that doesn't mean I wasn't… _surprised_ at the biodiversity.

For the millionth time I had to convince myself that monsters were indeed REAL. That all of this was. I had to accept that now and thankfully my guides were there to help me in the process. No matter how many times I asked, they would patiently confirm every time that I had not lost my mind or hit my head, and for a moment I wondered if it would have been better to let me believe I had.

Knowing I was still sane brought matters I wasn't ready to deal with yet.

Eventually my heart stopped trying to escape my ribcage every time a FIGHT begun. Frisk and I won every encounter. They insisted I stopped hiding them behind me and following my gut, I did. It wasn't easy, but I reminded myself of how they were apparently able to gaze into the future and simply be the Hiccup in this story, but with monsters instead of dragons. We looked after each other and managed to dodge every single attack. Frisk was far from defenseless. They had an innate ability, although that didn't mean protecting them stopped being my first priority. Nonetheless, it wasn't Frisk's skills that surprised me the most.

"Are you sure about this?" I almost tripped as I ducked, dodging the white spheres sent my way. Frisk only nodded. One was about to hit me, but it vanished inches away from me. _Oh, that was close._ It was my turn.

I stood up and dusted myself off a little, before biting my lower lip. _They'd better be right._

I held my arms out and slightly bent my knees. I snapped my right and then left knee back, making my hips jut out as I swayed them from one side to the other, my long skirt following my lead, just like in a Tahitian dance lesson I took years ago.

In no time, the gelatin monster in front of me wiggled back.

I smiled, pleased with myself and anxiety gone, only to use MERCY and watch them happily bounce away.

I released a sigh, feeling my muscles relax and placed a strand of hair behind my ear. "So? How did I do it?" My eyebrows rose expectantly as I looked at Frisk, who was standing next to me. I laughed when I earned a thumbs up.

Yep.

We won FIGHTS by wiggling our hips, consoling crying monsters and paying them compliments.

This reality is completely beyond my understanding. The way monsters work is extremely different from humans' and that doesn't facilitate my assimilation of this world and these beings. All I know is that their energy is somewhat different, yet it is absolutely _authentic_. Something that I don't always experience with humans, myself included.

Energy doesn't lie. Someone's aura will always tell the truth about who they are. When I say people are not always authentic, I mean that they're afraid to be and/or show their real selves and feelings, because deep down they fear being hurt and rejected by others. They protect themselves too much. For example, someone decides to smile, but their aura screams sadness, anger or pain. And if you go deeper into those feelings, you are going to find a hidden fear of some sort, but that is a different story. Displaying true emotions is often seen as a weakness and I think that is one of the most harmful perspectives that have ever been promoted.

On the other hand, the monsters I've met (the flower doesn't count) are a clear mirror of their energy.

They will show their emotions fearlessly. They cry openly but truly feel comforted and understood when consoled (I love the change in their auras); I can feel how deeply they appreciate simple compliments, treasuring them as something extremely valuable that they'll never forget, and to them it truly is meaningful when you wiggle your hips to hold a conversation. Like I said, they surpass my human comprehension.

And I'm completely fascinated by them.

And of course, there were the puzzles Toriel warned us we'd find if we ventured out on our own. But I had to say they were inventive and magical- in the literal sense-, and I saw Frisk enjoying them as much as I did.

For my own good, I pushed aside any other feeling and thought unrelated to the present moment. Deep down I was still terrified but it would help no one if I lost my calm thinking about… never mind. _Step by step. One second at a time_. That is my new mantra while I'm in this place.

So there I was: disobeying signs that ask you to take only one piece of candy, winning FIGHTS, solving puzzles I was told not to solve by myself… I was right. The Underground was changing me. Maybe by the time I leave, I will be an insurgent, revolutionary Caroline.

But I didn't have too much time to fantasize with the idea, because soon I was too busy trying not to have a heart attack.

There was a ghost in front of me.

Yes, I find non-corporeal people very often. Some of them ask me to help them cross to the other side, others ask me to deliver messages to their loved ones, and I do when I perceive such people are open-minded enough, but even if I've been doing this for a while and I'm not scared when that happens, I have never actually seen a ghost with my physical eyes before.

My heart hammered in panic at the sight of the one blocking Frisk's path and mine. The one lying on the ground pretending to be asleep by saying "Z" over and over again, across the hallway.

"Frisk, come here." I stammered. I couldn't stop shaking. "Let's just go back to the room and wait for Toriel there, okay?" Who knows what this ghost was capable of. All my life I've been afraid of ghosts. I don't care if this one looks like the blanket prototype, even though I'm grateful they do. "Let's just go." My hands were sweaty. I was determined not to begin a FIGHT with the first ghost I've seen in my entire life.

Frisk nodded.

 _Ok, Frisk agreed._ I was about to turn around, but in my peripheral vision I saw the kid deliberately moving the ghost.

Then the one sound I had intended to avoid announced itself and my soul was out of my body.

After that, all I remember is a feeling of deep sadness that I know doesn't belong to me, looking at the ghost only for them to begin crying, and then the sensation of a hundred icy needles piercing the center of my chest.

And for the first time since we came here, I see a look of genuine horror in Frisk's face before everything goes black.

* * *

I awake to low voices, talking in furtive tones. My eyes feel like they have ten pounds of sand in them, making it impossible to focus. Groaning, I wipe my lids only to stare blearily into Toriel's concerned face.

"Oh my child, you're awake!" She gasps, taking her hands to her snout, and moves enough for me to see another figure I can't make out clearly and Frisk next to me. My eyes are still struggling to remain open and to adjust to the light.

Something round and small is placed my palm and small hands bend my fingers around the object. The crunching sound of wrapper is enough for me to recognize the object as a candy. Frisk is smiling gently at me as they hold my hand.

"Thanks" I mutter with a weak smile. My brain is still asleep and it feels like my body is wrapped in cotton, making it almost impossible to move.

"Please eat it, child. I will bring you some water!" Toriel stands from the bed and leaves the blue room. No more purple walls.

"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

The figure I couldn't distinguish before speaks in a low voice and I focus my eyes on them, trying to sweep the cobwebs from my brain.

My blood turns to ice.

I'm fully awake now.

"O-oh! You're scared of me aren't you? I'm really- I'm sorry… I should have known… Please, don't mind me. I won't bother you anymore. Goodbye…"

Frisk prevents the ghost from before from disappearing and then their head snaps back at me.

* **You tell Caroline Napstablook won't hurt her and that he is sorry**

That doesn't slow down my heartbeat nor does help my wide eyes go back to normal.

"I'm… sorry, human... I'll understand if you never forgive me…" Napstablook lowers his gaze. My shoulders relax slightly.

Suddenly I visualize a dull, lifeless pink around the ghost. In my heart I feel he regrets it. He never intended for me to end up like this. He didn't know his tear attack would cause me the excruciating pain I remember.

"It's…" My gaze softens. "It's okay." I cough a little and my lips barely curve. My throat hurts. I decide to eat the small piece of candy. Napstablook keeps staring at me, quite puzzled. Meanwhile, Frisk helps me remove the wrapping and I take it straight to my mouth.

My senses are sweetly flood with a wonderful rush of heat, wrapping me in a fuzzy haze as reality blurs at the edges. The candy tastes of friendship, joy and happiness and I suddenly feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind on. As if failure does not exist. As if I'm absolutely great and deeply loved. The room is spinning and I let out a few giggles. My eyes crinkle and my next words slur a bit as I look at the ghost. "It's okay to be sad and scared, friend. We all are, amiright, Frisky? Hehe." They tilt their head at me giving me the strangest look, but words keep coming out of my mouth and I'm happy to let them. "It's perfectly valid to feel the way you do, Napsie, you have the right to feel whatever it is you feel, remember that. But lemme tell you something,'kay?" I clear my throat and intensify my gaze for dramatic effect, lifting my index finger. I imagine a spotlight shining on me and mist in the ground. "If you continue to isolate and to build walls around yourself, you won't keep the pain out like you think you're doing. You will actually keep it… _IN_."

With that, the world went fuzzy, like an out-of-focus camera and I knew nothing for a time.

* * *

The next time I wake up I'm alone. The lights are off, and a sweet smell assaults my nose, making my mouth water. Ah, cinnamon.

I struggle to a sitting position, wiping away the last traces of sleep, even though I feel completely renewed. My body is strong and my mind and senses are clearer than ever. Soon I'm fully energized and I can't remember when was the last time I felt like this.

My eyes dart around the room, only to find a slice of pie in the ground, next to my bag. The loving, warm, nurturing energy of the place becomes clearer. I must be in Toriel's room. I smile at her thoughtfulness.

Taking the pie and shoving it little by little down my mouth, I walk out of the room, feeling the same warmth from before flooding my senses and my mouth. Except this time I don't feel sleepy or dizzy in the slightest.

The hallway is dark and I feel Frisk's presence close to me. After taking a few steps, my right palm hovers over the door next to Toriel's and a smile appears when I sense them. They are sleeping peacefully.

But there is a gloomy, anguished and lonely energy that is very awake.

My steps echo as I approach what seems to be the living room. Toriel is sitting on a couch next to a small fireplace, holding a book in front of her face.

"H-hi" I mutter, holding a now empty plate in my hands. _Wow, someone was hungry._

"Oh, child! I am happy you are awake." Taking her reading glasses off, she puts her book down. Her cheerful voice sounds forced and she sniffs quickly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm a lot better now. Thanks to you." I offer her a grin. "Thank you so much for the pie. It was delicious. I never had anything like it before."

"I'm glad you liked it, child" She smiles back, but it still looks strained. She blinks twice, shaking her head and standing up. "Oh what kind of host am I, you probably wish to sit down." She stands up, taking a seat in the dining room and beckoning me to join her. I'm more than happy to. The wooden chair is more comfortable than I expected.

"Toriel, there's something I didn't tell you before." I rub my arm and avoid eye contact, but I can feel her gaze on me. "I'm… sorry. About before. About everything." I knew she was confused so I was quick to elaborate. "After encountering that flower I was just… I was afraid. Oh God, I was so scared, I'd never met a monster in my life and I thought you…" I shake my head in disbelief. There is no way I'm finishing that sentence. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you and you were just so kind and patient with me… I'm ashamed of myself. I really am and I will always, ALWAYS, regret being like that to you" It is in those last words I finally meet her eyes. My eyes are burning a little. "You are the kindest being I've ever known."

She drags her chair closer to me and places her hand on my shoulder. "Oh child, your words warm my heart, but there is nothing you have to be sorry for. What both of you went through must have been terrible and no child should ever go through such circumstances." For a second the pained, distant look in her eyes makes her appear like she is thousands years old. "I understand, innocent one. Please, do not worry about it anymore. I knew you were only protecting the little child."

She is extremely understanding and kind. "Thank you Toriel." I whisper and decide to change the subject to the main reason I came looking for her. The weight I feel in my chest is a different one now and it doesn't belong to me anymore. "You seem worried." That's not the word I would really like to use but it is the most appropriate I guess. "Is something on your mind?"

"Oh, I didn't think it would obvious. A smart young girl you are." She forces a light chuckle, but a sad one comes instead. I see her give up on her happy-mother mask as she takes a deep breath and I try to detach from her emotions a little. Why is she this nervous to talk to me? "Caroline," my eyes widen at the sound of my name in her voice and I feel the mood drastically change in a second, "the child and I talked while you were asleep. Frisk said you are attempting to look for a way to return… home." The pain in her aura increases and I feel the need to lower my gaze. I know where her loneliness comes from now. However her tone is far from accusatory and she continues quickly, which takes me aback. "You see, the Ruins are just a small fragment of the Underground. In the basement lies a one-way exit to the rest of it all." In the basement? How-? "And at the end of the Underground is another one-way exit… back to your world."

Shock.

Confusion.

Excitement.

In that instant her features harden along with her voice. "But do not be naïve, young one. This is not something to be taken lightly."

Fear.

Relief.

And above the ocean of emotions stirring within me…

…hope.

"As you have seen and possibly concluded, monsters and humans are not in the best of terms." I bring my attention back to the conversation. But I can't bring myself to speak. "The other monsters… _Asgore_ … they will try to kill you. "

I recoil against the backrest, almost making the chair fall in the process, only for Toriel to get closer to me again, eyes hard and intense. "Please, child, you must listen to me. This is a fate I have seen repeat itself too many times. I was going to make you stay, but after speaking to the child… you and Frisk would be unhappy trapped down here. It wouldn't be right to keep you against your will." My gaze lowered long ago and I barely register her words. Her hand lifts my chin. "You **must** do things differently, child. Do **_not_** let Asgore take your souls, do you understand? We cannot allow his plan to succeed."

"B-but who's Asgore?! Why does he want to take our souls?!" My choked voice weakens at the end, fearful and angry tears running down my face. And in that sinister moment, the flower's words ring in my ears.

 _Kill or be killed_.

"That matters not, young one." Toriel delicately wipes my tears away, at the same time she struggles to keep her own voice steady. "What matters is that you return safely. For your own good and the little child's. Caroline…"

I'm about to bury my face in my palms but Toriel continues. The sudden change in her tone interrupts my emotions, grabbing my undivided attention. It isn't over. She's worried about something else. "Frisk told me what happened with Napstablook. Your soul… it isn't normal for it to react the way it did."

I can barely think. I feel numb and dazed, like a blanket was dropped over my thoughts making it hard to concentrate. "Oh" I hold my hands to my heart, grasping my shirt as the excruciating pain comes to mind, making me shiver. "I don't know what happened, I…"

"I spoke to Napstablook. It is not possible that their attack could have hurt you like it did, child. Monster food will heal you, but I cannot explain what happened to your soul. You must be extremely careful when you participate in a FIGHT, child. Nobody, **no one at all** , can know about this. I already emphasized this enough to Frisk. It is imperative that you always avoid FIGHTS and carry monster food with you at all times. Do not worry about Napstablook, he will not say anything to other monsters."

But Napstablook is the last of my worries.

Words refuse to come out and my mouth stays open for several moments, throat closing tight. She looks at me gravely, and the last traces of hope that may be another way to work this out disappear.

"I just want to go home." Whatever bits of strength I'd left banish as I collapse against Toriel, hiding my face in her fur, frankly not caring about controlling my emotions anymore. She wraps her arms around me and my shaking shoulders, patting my back and comforting me in silence as I sob out my frustration, impotence and fear. I feel my world fall apart around me, crushing my heart and suddenly I'm right back where I started, staring at the impossibly high opening where we fell from.

"This isn't fair…" I say, barely audible.

"I know, child. I know."

I don't know how much time passes before I'm utterly drained and exhausted, but I only nod when Toriel whispers in my ear, "Promise me you will do your best to keep you and the small child safe."

* * *

Frisk and I stand a couple of feet away from the exit of the Ruins, facing Toriel. This is it.

My eyes are a bit puffy from last night but I had time to refresh earlier. After Toriel woke us up to breakfast -more of her delicious pie- she allowed us to take a shower and even helped us dry our hair with her magic. She insisted, since she said it was cold where we were going and otherwise we could get sick. Once we were ready, she surprised us with water and a lot of monster food to take on our journey and I don't think I can possibly feel more grateful.

Tears are fighting to come out again.

"When you leave, keep walking as far as you can. Eventually, you will reach an exit. Please be careful, my children" Her gaze turns to both of us, discreetly going up and down as if to keep our images in her memory forever. She bends down in front of Frisk with a sad smile, patting their head. "Be good, won't you?"

Frisk hugs her tightly and she responds. I don't think I can allow myself to feel auras right now. I hate farewells.

For a split second I almost consider the possibility of staying with her and forgetting about everything.

Then she stands up, locking her pained eyes with me. Her hands land on the sides of my shoulders with a heavy sigh. "Take care, Caroline." Her voice quivers. Before she can hug me, I throw my arms around her waist, not bothering to stop the tears that slide down my cheeks as I press my eyes shut. She squeezes me back. "Thank you, Toriel. Thank you so much for everything." Each word pitches higher than the last in an effort to squeak out the words bottled up inside me. "I'm really going to miss you."

I hear her gulp. "I am going to miss you very much as well, my child."

"Please come with us" I murmur in false hope. I know she has already thought this through.

"I… I cannot, young one. Someone must look after other fallen humans…"

I squeeze her tighter and in that moment I decide to make her my honorary mom. In my head anyways. My eyes snap open.

Wiping my tears away and sniffing, I pull back quickly. "Toriel, can I take a picture with you? Please?"

She's taken aback at my request. Two blinks. "Huh?"

"Yes, a picture! Look!" Frisk is already extending my bag to me and I hurry to search for my phone. _Battery 34%. That's enough._ "I know I'm never going to forget you. But you know what they say, a picture is like a save button. I would love to take a picture with you and Frisk." I offer her a smile. "Please?" My honorary goat-mom finally agrees with a real chuckle and I'm glad to see her like this before I leave.

The selfie is beautiful. Despite my pink nose and eyes, Toriel and I are grinning, while Frisk –in Toriel's arms- is even making a peace sign. Toriel also thought it was lovely, but her phone can't take pictures.

"Toriel, please take this." I removed my green aventurine bracelet from my wrist. "Where I come from, some humans, myself included, um, believe stones like this have their own energy or… _magic_ if you want to call it that." I can't believe I'm actually self-conscious. This world is magical, no one is going to judge me here. "Well, this bracelet has helped me through rough times. This stone is called aventurine and its' energy brings optimism and helps one to embrace change. It helps releasing old thought patterns that are no longer beneficial, so that you allow new things to come. I really want you to have it." I place it gently in her soft hands. She looks at it fondly and mesmerized, before taking it to her chest.

"I will forever take care of this magical bracelet, child. Thank you." A grin lights up her features. "Oh, that is right! I almost forgot!" Her hands search for something in her purple robe. "Napstablook left this for you."

"Napstablook?" I take a white, ancient-looking envelope from her hands to examine it closer. A letter? "Why?"

She chuckles. "He said that what you told him left him thinking."

"What I told him? What did I tell him?"

"I do not know, child, but he said you did."

"Huh… maybe he means accepting his apology. Thank you, Toriel." I carefully put the envelope in my back, inside my college binder so that it won't crumple, and the three of us share one last hug that I wish could last forever.

"Good luck, my beautiful children. I believe in you."

* * *

I hold Frisk's hand tightly as we cross the door. I take one last look at Toriel who is waving at us and we wave back. I see her eyes are watering… until I don't because tears sting my own eyes.

Blinking them away, I do the same she did before. I carefully glance up and down to save her full image in my memory.

And then I see it. In her robes.

The same emblem from before.

How could I not notice it?

Before I can say anything, the door is closed and Frisk trips, falling to the ground.

I rush to their side "Frisk, are you okay?" They give me a thumbs up and I help them to their feet, dusting them off. I'll have to find out later about the emblem. _That's what happens to me for never paying attention to someone's clothes._

A long purple corridor stretches far ahead. "Well, Frisk." I sigh, drying the rest of the tears with my sleeve. This is my shot. This is my only chance to see my parents again. "Let's go." They give me an enthusiastic nod.

We spent a long while listening to the echo of our footsteps until we finally reached another entrance, signaled by two enormous pillars. Everything here is so enigmatic. Frisk tugged my hand twice and only then I realized I'd stopped walking.

"Oh. Sorry… Yeah, uh, let's continue"

We crossed it and everything was black. I had my eyes roam around the room to make sure.

Yes, I hate darkness. However, my grasp around Frisk's hand didn't tighten because of what was invisible.

It tightened because of the one thing that wasn't.

"Clever. Verrryyy clever." The smiling yellow flower at the center of the room mocked and my heartbeat sped up frantically. "You think you're really smart, don't you?" A twisted, broken grin. "In this world, it's kill or be killed."

"You're wrong, flower." I put Frisk behind me and I felt my gaze turn hard and cold. I hide my surprise at my own behavior and the fact that my knees are wobbly. "It doesn't work like that."

He raised his… eyebrow? "Hmph. So you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of every single person. Hee hee hee" His giggles send a shiver running down my spine the little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

"I bet you feel really great. You didn't kill anybody this time."

_This time? Wha-_

"But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? You'll die and you'll die and you'll die. Until you tire of trying. What will you do then? Will you kill out of frustration?"

"None of what you say makes sense." I glare at them, pretending not to be confused or more like horrified at his words.

Ignoring me entirely, he continues. "Or will you give up entirely on this world… and let ME inherit the power to control it? I am the prince of this world's future"

I desperately want to back away, but hold my ground. "No one would _ever_ let you control anything, much less put the future on your leaves even if they could."

"Oh Blondie, you don't get it? I wasn't talking to you." He snickers at me. It's not cold but I shudder once again. "Don't worry my two little monarchs. My plan isn't regicide. Oh puh-leaze, you can stop hiding the child, I won't fight cha. For now. This is SO much more interesting."

Fear slowly twists like a knife in my gut and as if that wasn't enough, a white head grows out of his corolla. His eyes go completely black and a haunting screech comes out of his cruel, wolfish grin in what is supposed to be a laugh that echoes throughout the walls, sound multiplying itself countless of times.

Then he is gone as he buries himself back into a green patch the ground.

Silence falls over the room and a chill descends like an icy blanket. My legs give out. I shiver and my stomach begins turning nervous backflips as the world spins around me. Frisk kneels next to me and I lift a hand.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm just… just a minute…" I pant, trying to return to my normal breathing. It takes me a while to recover. I'm terrified of a flower. How can he have so much power over me? "Frisk… don't _ever_ let _anything_ of what he says get to you… okay?" Frisk doesn't reply and I turn my head to them. Their expression is one of deep thought mixed with concern. "Understood?"

They lock eyes with me. I don't need to be a psychic to know a lot of things are going through their head. Their expression softens slightly and they nod.

"Good. Nothing good or logical ever comes out of him." I feel better and carefully stand up, Frisk trying to help me. "Let's keep moving, okay?"

We continued and the exit was signaled by two purple pillars, same mysterious emblem above. I was learning to take that as a sign of a completely new beginning or adventure. An identical entrance was found right before we met Flowey. But before I allow that to scare me, I remind myself that I also met Toriel and explored the ruins right after that.

Here begins my journey through the _real_ Underground.

As soon as we cross it, a distinct line of coldness travels across my skin from front to back, as if the entrance was made of icy water. I close my eyes at the last second and open them only to find myself in a place that unlike Toriel said is far from cold, yet it ices my blood. It is the kind of place I thought I wouldn't see in a long time. A place so unexpected, that once again belittles whatever is left of the logical side of my brain.

A living room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you are well! There's something I wanted to explain. As you may have noticed the titles I give the chapters are a bit unusual, but there is a whole meaning behind them. The first three will explain themselves later in the story, but I'll explain the title of this chapter here. So I called it "What causes night in you, may leave stars", because in this chapter Caroline is really troubled. The small ray of hope she had when Toriel told her there was a way out was taken away from her and her worst suspicions were confirmed. Her parents, her dog, all her plans and dreams vanished possibly forever, since she might die at the hands of monsters that want to take away what she values the most -her soul- and if that happens, the soul of an innocent child will be lost too. She's trapped in a world that doesn't make sense to her and she also faced one of her worst fears, a ghost, and according to Toriel her soul can't resist simple attacks, which only makes her even more vulnerable. Yet, she has no idea that this "night", that these things aren't meant to leave scars in her, but stars instead. *wiggles eyebrows*
> 
> If you're going through something difficult, stay strong. Sometimes things can get really tough, but I'll share another quote with you from Warcraft the movie (I've never played the games), don't worry, I won't spoil anything in case you haven't watched it: "From light comes darkness and from darkness comes light." When you begin your healing process and go through all the painful and uncomfortable emotions and that darkness, at the end of the process you'll have grown a lot, gained profound wisdom and found yourself in a new, joyful way in spite of everything. In fact it is possible that you'll discover that you are brighter than you were before going though those dark times. Healing is about opening your heart again so that your light can shine brighter than ever. Believe in yourself. You can do this and you can let go of old, hurtful words and events too. They don't define you, you just believed they did.
> 
> Ok, that is a long author's note. I hope you enjoyed the chapter :)


	5. I know that I know nothing

Not knowing what to feel, a numbness takes over me, like I just might be done being surprised at anything.

The walls are red, more like burgundy. There is a bright green couch in front of a flat TV screen; making the place even looks comfy with a 'home aura' to it. It is quite clean except for something yellow on the floor, next to the TV. My numb legs refuse to take me to check it out, but it looks like a bunch of papers, kind of like sticky notes on top of something gray. Beside the couch in the far corner is a small round table with a thick book on it, right in front of a flight of stairs. I feel the vaguest reassurance at the sight of the book, something familiar that makes me think of my own home or at least makes it more difficult for me to picture some evil monster reading peacefully in a place like this, especially after meeting Toriel.

That is until I look to my right.

A rectangular wooden dining table, no chairs around it or visible anywhere for that matter. It's wide, but regardless of its' size, only one petit object is on its' top.

I'm not sure why, but seeing a lonely rock covered in sprinkles resting on the wood makes me very uneasy.

And it barely compares to what I feel when ahead of us I see what must be the kitchen, announced by a polished orange and brown checkered floor.

I can only focus on the ridiculously tall sink that literally surpasses my head.

An odd moment of complete silence hangs over the place as Frisk and I stand still. A long moment. We don't even look at each other, much less say a word.

Finally, I react.

Taking Frisk's hand in mine, I spin on my heels, determined to escape. We are supposed to avoid monsters, not waltz right into their houses. I don't care if this twisted world is against me, I'm not planning on letting us become anyone's dinner anytime soon.

But it is too late.

"Humans."

My hand hovers over the doorknob.

"Hmm… you do know it's rude to barge into other people's houses, right? Tsk tsk tsk." A long sigh. I'm trembling but other than that I can't move. "Well… _maybe_ I'll let it slide if you turn around and shake my hand." I'm not looking at this monster, but I can tell they're smiling. "Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

I'm frozen in place.

Frisk turns around, calmly facing the low-voiced stranger.

That is enough to wake up my brain.

Adrenaline kicks in, full force. I grasp the doorknob and violently turn it over and over, but to no avail.

"Um, that is a door. Doors have locks. And you need a key to open locked doors, heh."

I don't stop. It has to work. It _must_ work. I try to force it open a few more times, but needling me in the back of my mind is what I know to be reality. I can't breathe. It feels as if someone is choking me.

"Now, how about that handshake?"

My heart is racing and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and wait for someone to save us. But no one will. No one is here.

There is a stinging sensation behind my eyes as my shirt is tugged. I look down.

Frisk is smiling light-heartedly at me. They're giving me that caring, calm, reassuring expression they do whenever they give me a thumbs up. No fear, no despair in their eyes. Only quiet amusement.

I can only hear my pulse banging in my ears.

Before my nerves can jangle a warning, the child starts walking away from me. I frantically turn around to see them extending their hand.

To a skeleton.

And they join hands.

What happens next is so absurd and out of place that it just makes the whole thing that much horrifying.

_PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT!_

A hollow, windy sound echoes around the room. It's long and it pitches higher by the time it gradually dies.

Somewhere in the back of my brain, I recognize it to be a fart.

"heheheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's _always_ funny. anyways, you're humans right?" The skeleton in front of us laughs heartily.

I can only stare.

"that's hilarious. i'm sans. sans the skeleton"

Only then I examine his appearance. White pupils shine from within his black sockets and he wears an unzipped blue hoodie in which his hands are pocketed, a white t-shirt, black shorts, and a pair of sneakers.

And the laziest, cockiest, slyest smirk I've seen in my life.

A dangerous combination.

"i'm actually supposed to be on the watch for humans right now." I stand silent, holding my breath. "that's my job, you know?"

A small cry escapes from deep within my chest, and I don't know if it's actually audible or something I just feel inside. Trying not to make any sudden move that could unleash something I might regret later, I carefully and delicately pull Frisk back to me. The skeleton doesn't resist and easily lets go. However, my eyes watch every single one of his moves.

As he does mine.

"but… you know… i don't really care about capturing anybody." He shrugs, speaking casually as if the information he just disclosed about his job has no implications for us.

It's time to go.

"We-we're-we were just leaving. We didn't mean to intrude into your house. This was just a big, BIG accident, a HUGE misunderstanding, I promise." A nervous laugh escapes my mouth. "We sincerely apologize for the inconveniences we caused. We won't bother you anymore." Backing away firmly holding Frisk's shoulders, I turn around to go to the door.

I uselessly turn the doorknob a couple of times only to remember the door is locked. Sans huffs humorously, but talks as if he didn't hear a word. "now my brother, papyrus… he's a human hunting FANATIC"

My back stiffens and I halt.

"hey, actually, i think that's him over there."

His words stab me through the heart. I whirl and glare at him warningly and we begin a staring contest. But I know my terror betrays my face. It's not a warning but a desperate plea for mercy that's behind my eyes.

In spite of his permanent lazy grin, I see his gaze falter only for a split second at my face.

"SANS! SANS, WHERE ARE YOU?"

A booming voice calls out from somewhere at the other side of the door.

I feel a belt of tension cinch inside me. I silently wait for him to make the first move. Whatever he chooses, I won't make it easy if his plans come to damaging Frisk or me. My body tenses.

"hey, i have an idea." In spite of how relaxed I thought he was, his features soften ever so slightly and only then I realize the true tension he was holding. He too feels threatened. "why don't you hide under the table?" He shrugs.

Is Sans another monster like Toriel? One willing to have mercy?

_Oh God, what do I do?_

He raises a brow and I don't even question the fact that he can make facial expressions without facial muscles or blink without eyelids . If this was a FIGHT, this would be my turn.

Does it look like I have a choice other than to hope for the best?

"SANS!"

The booming, demanding voice is now right at the other side of the door. What am I supposed to do? Is Sans really sparing me?

And then it hits me. He can't. He can't spare me because I'm not in a FIGHT. He's not attacking me. We're not FIGHTING.

I hear keys jingling from out of the house.

"Okay" Whispering, I nod with a newfound temporary trust. Frisk quickly crawls under the table and we both hurry until we are completely covered under the wooden shield. I see Sans' sneakers stand in front of the door and I listen to the keys being inserted into the lock.

I can only pray this is not a trap.

The doorknob turns and with that the door swings open with a creaking sound. An icy wintry gust of air greets my skin, making me shiver. My hands shoot to my mouth and nose in order to prevent any sound from coming and my body shrinks to preserve body heat.

Right after, long orange-red boots barge into the house, with heavy but quick footsteps, halting in front of Sans' smaller sneakers. Beyond the door I catch a glimpse of white before it snaps shut. Was that snow?

"sup, bro?"

 _His brother is here. The human hunting fanatic is here._ My heart races at the thought that we might be discovered or that Sans actually decides to turn us in.

"YOU KNOW WHAT 'SUP,' LAZY BROTHER! YOU LEFT YOUR STATION AND IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES!"

I flinch at Sans' brother's angry voice. It is beyond intimidating. Something clicks in my head and my eyes narrow. _Puzzles?_

"AND WHEN YOU ARE THERE, YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!"

The red-orange boots shuffle and I picture him fuming. Sans' brother must be really intimidating. _Please, no more angry monsters. Please,_ _ **please**_ _, no more angry monsters."_

"staring at this table."

The numbness I felt when I first looked at this house comes back.

"it's really cool. do you wanna look?"

No way. No way he'll betray us.

I'm about to crawl to the edge of this table's shadow just to peep my head slightly, but decide against it. I glance at Frisk. They look perfectly calm. Amused even. Is there a safe future they are aware of? My head then turns to Sans' relaxed feet. _Oh, he must be so enjoying this._

"NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH?!"

I freeze. Sans was right. A human hunter fanatic.

"I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT… RECOGNITION… I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!"

 _Oh God._ If he sees us, it'll be the end of us. He must pick up a lot of FIGHTS with other monsters, perhaps he is even feared in this place... My thoughts bombard me and anxiety throws a party in my head.

"People Will Ask To, Be My, 'Friend'?"

My eyes widen and in that moment, I think I listen to my heart shatter as if it were made of glass.

"I Will Bathe In A Shower Of Kisses Every Morning."

And it continues to break into smaller pieces.

"maybe this table will help you."

I gasp, hands shooting back to my mouth and I push myself back against the wall.

"SANS! YOU'RE-! HM… ? WHAT WAS THAT? DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING, BROTHER….?"

"nah, bro."

I release a heavy breath silently, slowly putting my hands down. What is wrong with Sans?! This is worse than my Toriel conflict.

"Huh… LIKE I WAS SAYING, YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"

What surprises me most is the tranquility that permeates Sans' voice and bone(?) language. His feet shift lazily. I couldn't be as calm if I were him.

"hey, take it easy. i've gotten a ton of work done today. a skele- _ton_."

Wait, was that-?

Frisk's shoulders shake in silence.

"SANS!"

"come on. you're smiling."

A groan. "I AM AND I HATE IT" I imagine Papyrus glaring and then I listen to him sigh. "WHY DO SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH FOR RECOGNITION?"

The corner of my mouth barely curls upwards. _Because it's not others' recognition you're truly seeking._

"wow. sounds like you're really working yourself… down to the _bone_ "

I feel myself frown, puzzled by…

_Oh I got it._

I cover my mouth and my nose to prevent any sound from coming out.

"UGH! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES… AS FOR YOUR WORK PUT A LITTLE MORE… _BACKBONE_ INTO IT"

This time I can't help it. Whether it is due to my fear, the fact that I'm sure the next time I wake up it'll be in the psychiatric ward or that I actually found those skeleton puns funny, my shoulders are shaking along with Frisk's.

But then I do something terrible.

Something terrible and stupid.

"NYEHEHEHEHEH!"

I jump, startled by the strangest laugh I think I'll ever hear, causing my head to bump into the table.

Papyrus' boots jump and Sans sneakers turn our way.

_Oh no._

"BROTHER, DID YOU SEE THAT?! THE TABLE MOVED! THE TABLE MOVED BY ITSELF!"

 _OhnoOhnoOhno._ My heart pounds. My hands ball into fists and my knuckles go white as I crumple part of my skirt.

Even Frisk looks mildly worried.

Did I just ruin our safe future?

"uh, i think it was just my pet rock. it must be hungry."

_Good! Sans is still in our side-! Pet rock? The heck-?_

"THE… ROCK? BUT I FED IT THIS MORNING, SANS! SEE?! THE SPRINKLES ARE STILL HERE!"

The rock is their… pet? That's what the sprinkles were for?

I give up before even trying to understand. I don't let go of the piece of skirt that makes me feel safer.

"Hmmm... Something Strange Is Going On Here…" Papyrus footsteps come closer to examine the table, sounding overly sharp and loud in my ears, like the booming heartbeat of a condemned prisoner.

Maybe this is it.

This is the end.

"Hmph… Well, If That Is The Case, This Pet Rock Of Yours Is Doing This Tantrum Because You Haven't Taken Good Care Of It. A Living Being Requires Love And Attention, Sans! You Cannot Be This Insensitive To Its' Needs!"

Or not?

"sure, bro."

A great balloon of relief swells inside me as his words finally register. He didn't notice us. We are still safe, in spite of my clumsiness. We'll survive!

"Behold, Sans. I, The Great Papyrus, Will Show You How To Pet It Right." I hear him picking up the rock from the table above us.

My muscles relax. Not for the first time, I hope this will all be over soon.

Suddenly, warmth encompasses my entire chest and stomach, causing my breath to deepen as a swarm of kindness overcomes me, so pure and so open that I feel myself melting.

Someone's presence.

Papyrus' voice petting the rock became muted long ago. I can clearly feel the presence belongs to a male who is cheerful. There is a sadness lurking but before I can go deeper into it, it disappears into a fierce, supercharged woman's energy on a clear mission. Her thoughts are so loud it makes my head hurt and it makes me recoil. To whom do these energies belong to?

I snap out of it.

Not by choice.

But because the pet rock falls to the ground in front of the table.

"OH NO! I AM SO SORRY! PET ROCK! PLEASE, YOU MUST FORGIVE ME!"

"bro! wait-!"

Almost in slow motion, I see Papyrus' knees come to view until they hit the ground. This skeleton is taller and apparently more athletic –the _muscular_ word doesn't apply- than Sans. That only adds to the sensation of danger in me. He gently picks up the rock, looking at it dramatically, guilt written all over his skull. He mutters countless apologies and Sans' knees follow to touch the ground.

Right before he can do or say anything to save us from a cruel fate, Papyrus looks to the right and our gazes lock.

The sweet, caring energy I felt before was his.


	6. Twilight

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Papyrus was a monster. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how potent that part might be-that thirsted to capture my soul. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Nah, that last part isn't true. That's just my sense of humor trying to prevent me from fainting or losing my mind since it feels like minutes have passed but I know it's only been seconds.

Unlike Sans, Papyrus' sockets are empty and his skull is shaped in a more straight and geometrical structure. He is wearing some kind of orange-red costume. But instead of fearing the so-called human hunting fanatic, the same warmth from before overcomes me and all I can feel radiating from him is a deep, genuine, playful kindness.

A sweet smile slowly makes its' way into his features and I think we might just have found the mercy and the help we needed. One more compassionate, kind and caring monster.

Until all I can feel is excitement. Of course, it's not _my_ excitement.

"OH MY GOD! ARE… ARE THOSE HUMANS?! "

His voice makes me back away and I bump my head into the table once more. I hear Sans snickering but reality sinks in.

What have I done?

"BUT WHAT ARE HUMANS DOING IN OUR HOUSE?! QUICK, SANS! WE HAVE TO DEFEND OURSELVES! THIS MUST BE AN AMBUSH!"

What. Have. I. Done?

The brothers begin exchanging words and I glance at the door, suddenly remembering it's open now. Papyrus didn't lock it again.

It's now or never.

Grabbing Frisk's hand and my bag, I quickly drag us out of the table to make a run for our lives. It's the only way out of a FIGHT I know I can't win. Our last chance at survival. Nonetheless, with one stride of his long legs, Papyrus is in front of the door in a split second. But he doesn't block our way out like I thought he intended to, he simply opens it and points at us. "HUMANS, YOU SHALL FACE THE DEADLY PUZZLES OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NYEH HEH HEH!" And with that, he disappears shutting the door in his way out, leaving a deafening silence behind.

That's when I realize I'm breathing heavily. Did we really dodge another bullet? And for how long? My palms go straight to my knees. Frisk pats my back and deep inside I think it should be the other way around, but right now I can't bring myself to care.

"that went well." Sans calmly walks next to me. I think I should be angry at that statement but I'm too busy trying to get my breathing back to normal. Although he's right. It could have gone a lot worse, right? "heh, don't worry. he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be." Excuse me, but how is the word ' _deadly'_ not dangerous? I manage a scoff in utter disbelief. "hehehe. don't sweat it, kid. i'll keep an eye socket out for ya." He winks but I'm nowhere near to smile. Finally I calm myself a bit, and I can stand normally. I must hurry to leave before Papyrus comes back. But first…

"Sans?"

He stares at me, smiling, but I can tell his gaze is guarded. "yep, kid?"

"Thank you." My words take him aback and I repress the need to hug him in gratitude. Instead, my hands press together, palms touching and thumbs close to the chest, like the _namasté_ gesture. I don't know when I started doing that to show my purest gratitude or to ask for a favor I absolutely need. I guess I got it either from meditation classes or from watching Pirates of the Caribbean too much. "Thank you so much for helping us, I really appreciate it. I don't know what could have happened if you hadn't been here, and if we ever see each other again, know I'm willing to help you too, okay?" He blinks twice but nods. "Oh! And I _promise_ you I don't know how I ended up in your house, I swear! I was just walking and crossed some place and the next thing I know I'm in your living room. Is that normal here? Does that happen often? People appear in random places?!" My hands shoot to my temples. I can't handle it if that's the case. _Please tell me it doesn't happen. I can't go through all of this in different houses with more monsters!_

Sans watches us intently. Honestly, I can't blame him. "uh, no, kid. it doesn't happen at all."

"Oh thank God!" I release a long sigh. That's all I wanted to hear. He rubs the back of his skull "i dunno how you got in here, door was locked."

"I swear Sans, I'm just as confused as you are. I'm really, really sorry. I'm only hoping it doesn't happen ever again. I can't blame you if you don't believe me or trust me, I completely understand, but I'm telling you the truth."

His eyes are piercing, but like I said, I understand his position. Having two humans appear in your house out of nowhere with such a strange story, even for this world's standards… I would've never been so calm had it been the other way around. I can only hope he doesn't change his mind about capturing us after this.

I extend my hand to him. He has the same puzzled look Toriel gave me when I did that with her.

"So… does that handshake offer still stand?"

He only stares. Maybe the offer expired. Of course I didn't take him seriously when he said ' _greet a new pal_ ' but at least I thought this time it would mean a peace offering. But I don't plan on fooling myself, I know I feel pretty bad anyways as I'm about to awkwardly take my hand back, but his own wraps around mine.

A low, deep chuckle comes out of him and suddenly I'm drowning in a surreal sensation as I realize I've never shaken hands with a skeleton before.

His grip is gentle but firm at the same time. I smile back at him as we move our hands up and down slightly, until we let each other go. He pockets his hands again and I'm about to speak but things here never go as planned.

"hate to bother ya, but can you do me a favor?" He lifts his shoulders.

"It depends…" I am starting to get tired of that moment in which I feel I guard myself. "What kind of favor?"

"my brother's been kind of down lately… he's never seen a human before and seeing you two just made his day. maybe if you could play along with him for a while…"

My mouth is wide open, but he continues before I can say anything. "like i said, he's not dangerous and i'd be around. besides trust me, you may want to be here when he's back-"

"Oh my God! You're right! He's going to be back!" I frantically look around. How long have I been here?! "I'm really sorry Sans, I can't do that. I'm not giving our hearts away." I pull Frisk and exit the house, feeling my cheeks and nose instantly freeze as I close the door on my way out.

Before I can mull over my broken alliance with Sans –and the guilt I know will follow later-, I force my limbs to move as fast as I can only to stop as soon as I begin.

My feet almost become stuck on the layer of ice and snow on the ground, as I look at the small town before me. A beautiful, nice town I would instantly fall in love with, except for one minor detail.

It is replete with monsters.

Humanoid bunnies and bears of many sizes and colors laugh and talk animatedly. The few and small Froggits and Whimsuns from the Ruins are long gone. The town's inhabitants wear sweaters and scarves and I can't help but notice the Christmas tree at the center, wrapped gifts underneath it and everything.

And I also see a small yellow, armless dinosaur next to it, who is smiling at me.

There goes every single drop of inner peace I've been working so hard on for the last three years.

In the grip of silent panic, heart racing and brain on fire, I stumble as I pull Frisk, breaking into a run into the opposite direction, determined not to stop and frankly not caring about the icy numbness in my toes and hands that's already spreading to the rest of my body. I've no idea of the direction we're supposed to be heading for, but I know my choice will always be the one that takes us away from monsters. Our footsteps crunch over the snowy ground barely a few seconds before Frisk yanks their hand back, letting go of mine.

Which of course, results in me slipping and falling face first in the snow.

Frisk apologizes, trying to help me up but I push myself only to a sitting position, trembling because of my now wet clothes. They don't give me time to ask them what is wrong or to explain that if the mini-dinosaur tells the others about us, we're officially freaking screwed. Getting ahead of me, Frisk only points to an igloo that is right next to Sans' house.

My eyes fly wide. "Frisk, we can't-"

***You tell Caroline it's a tunnel**

"A t-tunnel?" My teeth chatter and my breath is pale against the numbing air. An icy sensation penetrates to the very marrow in my bones. "Are you sure about this?" If there is an opinion that I consider valuable and trust-worthy in this place, is Frisk's. They must have a reason for this.

They nod.

"O-okay." I stand up, surprised at how used to the weather Frisk seems since the cold is biting my limbs and I'm grateful that at least I'm wearing boots. We hurry into the dark igloo, and once more this place proves to me that nothing here is what it appears to be.

Yes, it's a tunnel. Frisk didn't lie to me.

But it's a teleporting one.

In my next step, the ground is gone and as fast as lightning a strange force lifts me only to have me speed like a blur of existence through the anti-gravity darkness that reminds me of a closed water slide. The only indicator that I'm moving is my gut in my mouth and the exciting rush of adrenaline one gets in a roller coaster. Soon I see the light the end of the tunnel, and I plunge into it, a pathetic, small scream escaping my lips as I thud onto the softness –and coldness- of the thick blanket of white for the second time.

On their feet in front of me is Frisk, ready to help me stand and looking just a little concerned, clothes completely untainted by snow, while I'm a shivering mess.

At first it's because I'm freezing. Then it's not.

It is because when I lift my gaze, I'm only two feet away from one of the two monsters I promised myself I would avoid at all costs.

"HUMANS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? IS IT THAT YOU ALREADY WISH TO SEE MY MAGINIFICENT PUZZLES?" Papyrus towers over us, as his red scarf-cape flaps behind him, eyes perplexed. The imposing skeleton then studies me curiously, and _his_ concern joins _my_ fear in the party of emotions I'm hosting. "Human, You're… You're Shaking"

He cocks his skull to the side before he kneels and I'm too scared and frozen to back away. Adding to my surprise and confusion, he actually helps me to my feet, easily lifting me like I'm weightless, grabbing my arms gently but firmly. The moment he touches me I find my alarm replaced by the wonderful warmth around my heart again and as soon as I'm back on my feet I know I'm not going to be able to run.

With a nervous cough, Papyrus removes his scarf-cape and carefully wraps it around my shoulders, suddenly finding the snow underneath really interesting. His face is a subtle orange glow.

Finding that I can now control the shivering thanks to the cape as well as its' relaxing fresh smell of pines and wood, I don't pry my eyes away.

Why does my fear of him vanish every time I interact with him?

"Humans!" Papyrus clears his non-existent throat, forcing his face to change to a menacing one. He's just as shaken as I am. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL CAPTURE YOU! THEN YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN! THEN…"

Snapping out of it, I feel my eyes widen in horror with every word he speaks. There is no way the energy I felt before belongs to him.

Already knowing my next move, Frisk quietly walks behind me and I swear I hear them sigh.

_No way. No freaking way this is the end._

"Then… I'm Not Sure What's Next." He scratches his chin as he finishes the sentence to himself. "BUT YOU SHALL NOT AMBUSH THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"

"Nonono, you don't understand! Please! This is not an ambush! It never was!" I desperately try to reason with him. _God, he's so tall!_ My knees go wobbly _._ "This is a HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING! I-"

Someone coughs lightly from behind me and a familiar deep baritone voice speaks.

"actually, since we found them in the house they're houseguests, paps."

My head whips only to find Sans and his lazy, cocky smile in place. He discreetly winks at me.

Papyrus' sockets widen. "Sans? Houseguests?" He goes deep in thought, pondering over his brother's words for a few seconds that last an eternity to me. I don't know where Sans is going with this, but if it doesn't turn out right, maybe the tunnel will prove a valuable escape route. Who am I kidding? And what then? I'm in no condition to run, I'll never outrun Papyrus. Maybe Frisk can if I distract both skeletons; that way I can at least give them enough time to hide. I'm holding on to the cape thingy, crumpling it in my anxiety. _Guides, what do I do, WHAT DO I DO?!_ When Papyrus talks again, I repress a small jump. "OF COURSE! THE REASON I CAN'T FIGHT THESE HUMANS RIGHT NOW IS NOT BECAUSE THEY LOOK COLD AND LOST OR ANYTHING, BUT BECAUSE THEY ARE MY HOUSEGUESTS! UNDYNE WOULD BE SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME IF I DIDN'T TREAT MY HOUSEGUESTS RIGHT."

"sure, bro" Sans nods.

"NO ONE WILL BEAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS AT BEING THE BEST HOST! IT SEEMS I'VE TAUGHT YOU WELL, BROTHER! I SHALL PREPARE THE HOUSE AND DINNER TO HANG OUT WITH OUR GUESTS!" He starts running away, but soon comes to a halt, pointing a finger to Frisk and I. "YOU ARE MY HOUSEGUESTS ONLY FOR TODAY, HUMANS. TOMORROW I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL CAPTURE YOU! NYEH HEH HEH! Unless You Need A Place To Stay. IN THAT CASE JUST ASK! "

Turning around, he disappears into the distance. I'm shocked that worked but I know better than to relax just yet. Nope, in this world nothing is this easy. As I face Sans, I'm afraid again. It seems I'm always afraid.

But there's something I need to do.

I throw my arms around the skeleton and as strange as it sounds, I feel his bones tense. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I bury my face in his chest and even though a small part of me is barely conscious of what I'm doing, right now I just can't help it. His chest feels soft for some strange reason but I'm not even going to try to understand monster biology. "I'm sorry, Sans. I meant what I said earlier, I do want to help you too but Papyrus scares me so much! I couldn't risk Frisk like that! I just couldn't stay!" I hold on tighter to him and his heartbeat(?) picks up its' pace, causing his aura to pulse. Finally I snap myself back to reality.

 _Oops._ I pull back quickly. "Sorry about that." He doesn't like a lot of physical contact, especially from strangers. Although there's something else in his aura that I can't make out clearly. The part where his cheeks would be, have a light blue hue. How do skeletons blush? One more thing to add to the list of things I'll probably never know. "Thank you, Sans. Sorry for, you know… running away." A small paranoid part of me wondered if this was his plan all along. Pretending to be a compassionate or at least neutral monster, and lure unsuspecting humans right into his clutches. Unorthodox but effective.

Fortunately, I can't register anything like that in him. My gut simply tells me it's not the case. Although what stands out the most from Sans' energy is how much he keeps to himself. A lot of walls.

"it's okay, kid. no offense taken. but trust me, he's not dangerous." His pupils harden slightly, barely noticeable. _Oh okay, sure, I get it. Poor Papyrus. He's bigger, faster, twice as strong as us, has magic and wants to deliver us to a bunch of human-hating monsters, but oh he's so harmless! He's so not dangerous at all! Especially to me, the adult human that has to protect a younger one, but has a defective, weak soul that easily gets damaged!_

_But yeah. Poor Papyrus._

"You keep saying that," I give Sans a patient look, "but in case you didn't notice, he said _deadly_ puzzles. Huh? I haven't seen everything but I'm getting the hang of how this world works. What do you have to say about that? And-" My gaze had begun to harden, fear and frustration coming out as cold anger, but I'm interrupted by his low, hearty laughter. Not his low deep 'heh heh heh' chuckle, but an actual full laugh.

I'm squinting as my mouth goes wide. What am I supposed to feel?

Grabbing a piece of the long cape Papyrus gave me, I hit Sans with the fabric. "I'm serious, Sans!"

But this only encourages him more. Frisk snickers and I'm just standing there, bearing how both a talking skeleton and the kid I'm supposed to protect, openly make fun of me. Together. Sans even wipes a tear from the corner of his socket, slowly gaining his composure back. "that's exactly it, kid, that's exactly it. i know you're serious."

I wait to see if he's going to say something that explains that but he only adds "you'll see for yourself what _deadly_ means to Papyrus in the meantime, kid." He represses another chortle, smirk growing, cutting the dark thoughts that awful statement caused in me. "but don't worry, i said i would keep an eye socket out for ya, didn't i? i have to say your lack of faith in me wounds me."

He looks anything but hurt.

"Yeah, right." I continue to glare at him but it's like he doesn't notice. In fact it seems it only entertains him more.

"his spaghetti is something you should be worried about, though." Frisk laughs again and I don't know if that helps me relax or tenses me further. "anyways, we oughta get going or he might come back. and if he does…"

Color drains from my face. He doesn't continue. "What? What if he does?"

"and if he does…"

"What if he does?" The alarm in my voice grows and I grab Frisk's shoulders.

He winks. "you'll have to sit through my hilarious jokes."

Silence.

Frisk giggles but I'm squinting. "Let's just go."

Once again ignoring Sans' low, deep snickering as he walks next to us, I take the child's hand and we continue.

* * *

"we're home, paps" When Sans opens the door I glance over my shoulder at the town behind me as I keep rubbing my arms even though Papyrus' cape already helped a lot. I can only hope this is a good choice. Frisk however is smiling and I convince myself. _It must be the right choice. Relax, Caro, it must be._

The shorter skeleton lazily shuts the door and my shivering body is instantly filled with relief and deep gratitude that every cell in my body would express out loud if they could talk. The place is so warm. I'm tempted to crash into the couch but of course I don't dare. Papyrus quickly comes from the kitchen in no time and my back stiffens when I see him carry two fabrics, one is green and another other red. _Is he going to trap us with that?!_

"HUMANS!" Papyrus places himself in front of us. I stumble and almost fall back trying to protect Frisk, but I try my best to look taller and imposing. _Pfft imposing, yeah right_. Towering over us, Papyrus holds one of his gloved hands up in an oath-like fashion, almost making me flinch at the sudden movement. _What's he doing?_ Sans smirk is unnerving as his brother clears his non-existent throat and shuts his eye sockets in a solemn manner. "I, The Great Papyrus, Promise That As Long As You Remain Within This Abode, You Will Not Be Treated As Prisoners, But As Houseguests." I shoot a quick questioning glance at Sans, mouthing a desperate 'what's going on', only earning quiet giggles that he's trying to prevent Papyrus from hearing. "I Vow To Make Both Of You Feel Extremely Comfortable And To Be The Best Host You've Had And Will Ever Have In Your Human Lives." He opens his eye sockets and I jump a little. "DO YOU- UH… Human, What's Your, Um…?"

"My name's Caroline." I say barely above a whisper. "This is Frisk."

What is this benevolent energy?

He nods, posing elegantly again. "DO YOU, CAROLINE AND FRISK, ACCEPT THE HONOR IT IS TO HAVE THE GREAT PAPYRUS AS THE BEST HOST, AND TO HAVE HIS BROTHER AS THE SECOND BEST HOST YOU WILL EVER HAVE?"

Is any of this for real? Is Papyrus taking this seriously? His energy screams a rotund yes, but why is this so hard for me to believe?

Maybe as long as he is our host there's absolutely no danger here. He truly doesn't want to hurt anybody, I know that for sure. It's just… There's something…

A smile tugs at my lips involuntarily. No one in my life has ever vowed to be the best host I'll ever have in my life. He means his words and that'll have to be enough for now. "We do."

His eye sockets open widely shining in amazement, gloved hands going to the now orange sides of his skull, along with the colored fabrics. "WOWIE! R-REALLY?!" If his kind energy was all encompassing before, I have no words for what I'm feeling now. His joy, his excitement… it's just too pure and I'm completely speechless. I barely register his face turning into a determined one, as he glances to his brother. "DID YOU HEAR THAT, SANS? WE CANNOT DISAPPOINT THE HUMANS!"

"we got this bro."

Papyrus pumps a fist in the air as he looks fervently at the ceiling. "LET THE HANG OUT BEGIN!"

A light laugh echoes throughout the house, and doesn't resemble Frisk's voice in the slightest, much less Sans'. It obviously doesn't belong to Papyrus, since I'm looking at him and the chuckles are far from his trademark 'Nyehs.' But when the latter stares at me in a shocked but funny way, curiosity and wonder written all over his features, I realize it is my own laughter.

I cover my mouth. "O-oh! I'm sorry! I didn't want to interrupt, it's just uh… you two are really cute." I finish the sentence timidly, wondering what the heck is wrong with me since I've no idea where the last words came from.

Or more like why they came _out_ of my mouth instead of just staying in my head.

"Um, that slipped out. Sorry." Both Sans and Papyrus are staring at me intently and my gaze drops to the floor, while heat rushes to my cheeks. _Oh God._

Fortunately for me, Sans comes to my rescue once again.

"ehem, paps what's that you got there?"

When I glance at him, he stares at Papyrus and something tells me he's avoiding eye contact with me. Well, not only does he save me from being captured but also from social awkwardness.

_Sans, where have you been all my life?_

Papyrus blinks, snapping out of his zoned out state. "Oh! Of Course! Humans, Please Take This." The taller skeleton hands me the green fabric while the red one goes to Frisk. My hands run through it and I recognize it to be a beautiful long cape. Frisk might as well have a new Red Riding Hood costume their size.

Where did Papyrus get this?

"Papyrus, I… it's beautiful!" I immediately extend it to look at it in detail. Usually I wouldn't have taken it, but I'm going to need it to face the cold or I'll never survive in the Underground with only these clothes in this weather. I need to buy it. "Please, sell these to me."

"SELL?!" I didn't think it was possible but Papyrus sockets widen even more than before. "NONSENSE! DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID, HUMAN? THIS IS A GIFT FROM YOUR HOST,THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NO PAYMENT IS REQUIERED AT ALL!"

"But-"

"And You May Keep My Cape Until You're Completely Warm. Like I Said, LET THE HANG OUT BEGIN!"

After pumping his gloved fist in the air again, he runs to the kitchen, leaving me with Frisk and Sans.

The shorter skeleton places his hand on my shoulder. "it's best if you just leave it this way."

I can't reply. I don't know what to think anymore about Papyrus and monsters in general.

"anyways, you'll see the time will _pasta_ away quickly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to tell you that I'll adopt Skitzylou's headcannon that monsters are big in their own way, so Sans is about 6', Papyrus is about 6'4" and as you know Caroline is 5'7". But if you don't like the idea, just picture them like you have until now :) By the way you should totally read Skitzylou's fanfic. It's the best thing in the world. It's called "Make a Move", you can find it in fanfiction.net 
> 
> I haven't enjoyed a fanfic so much in a looooong time.
> 
> Well, I hope you are fine wherever you are!


	7. I was built to be loved and darling so were you

"… _If you've ever felt like you were the outcast, then to you I dedicate my broadcast!"_

"And his name is Mettaton you say?" I straighten a bit from the couch to take a better look at the TV. I'm so cozy wrapped in Papyrus' cape that I could stay here all day. Frisk is leaning against my shoulder, while Sans comfortably sits to my left, leaving me in the middle. He's supposed to keep us company and of course, as guests, The Great Papyrus forbade us ' _TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN ENJOYING OURSELVES'_ , while he cooks.

"yep. he's the television star here in the underground. it's paps' fave singer"

"' _CUZ THEY NEED A MONSTER THAT THEY BELIEVE IN AND I WILL BE THERE SHINIIIING_ " Papyrus sings along from the kitchen, his voice joining the sound of dishes being washed, and judging by the small variations in the volume and the subtle squeaking of shoes, I'm pretty sure he's dancing.

At first I laugh at the cuteness of it all, but then I'm jabbing my thumb towards the kitchen, mouth wide open in a grin that goes from ear to ear as I gaze at Sans, after hearing how surprisingly pretty and mellifluous Papyrus' voice actually is.

Sans' shoulders shake a bit as he chuckles at my face. His eyes are instantly filled with fondness and his permanent smile is not lazy anymore. Although it's always there, this time it becomes more… real.

"like I said, he's a big fan so these mini-concerts of his happen a lot."

"And I can see why, this song is so catchy!" I'm mesmerized at what I'm seeing. Even if Mettaton is a large rectangular box with robotic arms and a grid of lights for a face, his performing skills are undeniable. "I mean, c'mon! Even the lyrics are uplifting." I don't understand how he can convey emotion so easily without a single facial expression. And of course, my toes are already tapping rhythmically within my boots, letting me know this song has awakened my dancing instincts.

"heh, sure kid."

Suddenly Papyrus rushes into the living room, holding a cooking spoon and wearing a chef hat, and I have to bite back a smile. "This Is My Favorite Part!"

I look back at the TV only for me to sideways glance at Papyrus the moment he starts singing along softly. " _Darling I'll Be There When Everyone Else Has Gone, You Can Count On Me. 'Cuz You Need A Monster To Be Your Hero And Darling I Swear I'll Never Leave._ " His arms move ever so slightly to the tune as he watches the screen intently. But I'm barely paying attention to the pleasant consistency of his voice or his moves because I can only focus on the kind, compassionate energy he continues to irradiate, like he actually means the lyrics of the song.

"WHAT?! CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!"

I'm startled in that moment as the most adorable white Pomeranian comes running out of the kitchen with a huge bone in its snout and heading towards the door, Papyrus quickly going after it.

"oh oh" Sans says and not for the first and surely not for the last time, I'm more confused than I've ever been in the last 21 years.

_**BOOM!** _

* * *

I look around for something else that might be useful but see nothing. I already opened the windows and the door but I don't know what else to do.

"HUMANS, CALM DOWN! THE BEST HOSTS YOU WILL EVER HAVE ARE TAKING CARE OF THIS!" Papyrus shouts from the kitchen and the white smoke barely allows me to make out his silhouette. I know Sans is there too, but I can't see him.

Who knew monsters can have accidents like small fires in the kitchen too? At least now only the smoke remains.

"Are you two okay? You sure you don't want me to help?" Even though danger was gone, simply holding Sans' pet rock to ' _make sure it feels loved and safe_ ' -as Papyrus put it- makes me feel completely useless and ungrateful. I glance at Frisk who is waiting on the couch like I asked them to, wondering if they have any idea of what's about to happen next, but they seem as clueless as I am.

"NONSENSE! YOU ARE OUR GUEST! PLEASE STAY THERE WHILE WE SOLVE THIS! Ugh That Dog…"

"we're almost done here, kid. we're good."

"Well, Rocky here is okay too." They can't see me but I still repress a smile as I look down at Sans' pet. "But are you sure about this? Because I don't feel comfortable-" Smoke comes my way and a heavenly smell wraps around my nose, making my mouth instantly water.

_Is this the spaghetti Sans said I should be worried about?_

Footsteps echo against the tiled floor and the skeleton brothers' silhouettes slowly come into view. The smoke is finally disappearing and I'm glad because that means we can close the windows and the door since I could use the warm atmosphere back. Besides I'm worried other monsters might see Frisk and I.

The glorious smell intensifies as Papyrus comes out holding a cooking pot and I'm sure the only thing that worries me now about that spaghetti is that there won't be enough for all of us. But what truly grabs my attention is that the tall skeleton has the saddest face in the world as he stares down at it and the sight squeezes my heart. _Oh God_ , I cannot even talk about the sadness and the guilt he's feeling. Unlike his brother, Sans' laid-back smile remains while he wipes his face with a towel, although his eyes have a worried glint and refuse to leave Papyrus.

"Humans, My Deepest Apologies, I Have Let You Down As Your Host." I almost missed what Papyrus said and even though I just met him it strikes me as highly unusual for him to speak this low. "Because I Went After That Canine I… This Had Never Happened To Me Before…"

"you did your best paps. that's what counts. they can try your spaghetti next time." Sans says softly but Papyrus is completely unaffected by his words.

"Now We Don't Have Dinner And It's All My Fault." A long, sad sigh escapes his mouth. "I'm Sorry Humans." What I feel is identical to those old days when Aisha (my dog) was just a puppy and she would give those cries that could crush anyone's soul whenever she was left alone.

I carefully place the rock back on the table. "Please, don't say that Papyrus. Accidents can happen to anyone, this doesn't make you a bad host. You're only hu- er… monster…" The word still feels weird in my mouth but it's a reminder of how I'm not supposed to trust these guys so easily. I can't forget Papyrus still poses a threat to us. He looks up at me.

Wait, did he just say-?

"But what do you mean we don't have dinner? This smells delicious." An unintentional disbelief permeates my voice. He can't possibly be serious.

Papyrus drags his feet to the trash can, head hanging low. A huge alarm goes off in my head. "This Is Completely Burned. Since I Was Chasing That Dog, I Let This Spaghetti Boil For Too Long."

"What?! No!" I jump in front of the trash can, taking the skeletons, Frisk and myself by surprise. I force my body to relax. No way we're letting go of that spaghetti. Not without me tasting it first, anyways. "But you can't just throw it away. You haven't even had a bit of it yet."

"B-But I Don't Need To." The best host I will ever have blinks. "I Didn't Follow My Secret Formula. I Boiled It For Too Long And Now It's Completely Inedible."

"Come on Papyrus, let's give it a chance. This doesn't smell like it's burned at all, it smells delicious." I plea lamely. It's like my tummy has replaced my brain. "After all the smoke I would agree with you but…" I sniff it. Ah… Magic must have had something to do with this. "This smells great and doesn't look burned. If no one likes it, then you can do with it whatever you want. What do you say?"

Frisk walks up to him, cocking their head to the side in a sweet child manner. I take note of that look because I know danger when I see it. If Frisk uses that face with me, it'll be hard for me to say no to any toy or whatever they ask for.

***You tell Papyrus that as his guest you wish to try his spaghetti**

_Danger indeed._

"Wowie! A-are You Sure?" Papyrus alternates his gaze between the child and I. That was a really smart move from Frisk.

"Of course! Please?" I give him my sweetest smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sans repressing a giggle. He sees right through our tactics and I also take note of that.

"if we wanna be good hosts, we have to let them have the spaghetti paps." Sans shrugs like there's absolutely no alternative. The worried glint in his eyes is gone and has been replaced by that smug look of amusement of his.

Papyrus looks at all of us. "Y-You Are Right! If My Hosts Wish To Have The Great Papyrus' Spaghetti, Then That Is Exactly What I Shall Give Them! TO THE DINING TABLE!"

* * *

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"STOP IT, SANS!"

"what? i was just saying there are a lot of _pastabilities_ "

It was a good thing I gulped down my water before I heard that. My previous echoing laugh turned into a weak wheezing and I knew my cheeks were bright red. I'm never going to finish my spaghetti with Sans and Papyrus sitting on the same table. Where do all of these puns come from?

"THE HUMANS CANNOT EAT BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"are you saying it's my fault? that's im _pasta_ ble"

And so Frisk's laugh and mine continue while Papyrus fakes a groan. It's so obvious he's trying really hard not to laugh or even smile. I decide it's safer for me to just stir the rest of my spaghetti –BEST ONE I'VE EVER HAD- with my fork until I'm calm enough to eat it and not choke.

"Do Not Encourage Him, Humans. Sans, What Is _Tomato_ With You?"

"OH MY GOD!" Tears are in my eyes. The four of us burst out laughing, Papyrus Nyeh's easily standing out, even though he tries to repress them. I don't remember having so much fun in years.

The tall skeleton was quick to clarify that he only said that pun because he saw Frisk and I were having fun, so he was just being a good host. He tried to convince us that he absolutely dislikes puns but like me, I'm certain Frisk didn't believe him a single word.

Papyrus went back to complaining and a lot of puns and giggles later, Sans finally decides to give him a break and I follow his lead.

"Oh by the way, Papyrus" I clear my throat after swallowing my water. "You're trying to learn that Mettaton's dance, aren't you?"

"Wowie! How Did You Know?! Humans Must Be Really Smart!" I can't help but notice there is no spaghetti left on his plate. And to think he was the one who wanted to get rid of it… Well, he did in a way.

"I saw you were trying to mimic Mettaton's moves earlier."

I can feel Sans staring at me.

"How Observant! Actually I Have Not Been Able To Perform It Correctly." An orange blush appears on his cheeks. "Although I Can Assure You I Have Been Working Hard On Becoming A Better Dancer, It Is Not One Of The Things… I Excel At." He is a bit embarrassed. I can feel it is quite difficult for him to admit he is not good at something, but why?

***You tell Sans and Papyrus Caroline is a great dancer**

"oh is that so?" Sans' eyes are hooded and his smirk grows.

"Really Human?!" Papyrus's hands shoot to the sides of his skull.

"W-what?! Oh Frisk, but you've never seen me dancing, what are you saying? Heheh" I force a smile, while trying to send a very discreet glare to my human companion. Instead they look quite pleased with themselves.

_Oh, you're so gonna regret this._

***You tell the story of how Caroline impressed a Moldsmal with her dance moves**

My jaw drops.

Sans snickers and Papyrus looks dazzled. _What is this kid thinking?!_

"H-Human, Would You… Do You Think You Could Help Me… Learn Mettaton's Dance?" He asks nervously, suddenly finding his hands very interesting. My cheeks are burning. "I-I Promise To Be A Fast Learner! You Have My Word! I Want To Be The President Of Mettaton's Fan Club And I Think Knowing The Dance To His Last Hit Would Be… Appropriate? Would You… Consider Helping Me? Please?"

 _Oh no, that puppy face._ Did Frisk know about this? Sans is staring intently at me again. _Oh God_.

"Sure. Why not?" I gulp down the rest of my water. My heart gives a happy jump and I find it hard to believe that I'm actually excited to do this. It's been long since I last danced with someone.

"YES! NYEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus pumps a fist in the air. "COME HUMAN, WE MUST START RIGHT AWAY!" The skeleton stands up energetically, only to take my hand and pull me towards the living room.

I barely manage to take the last bite of my spaghetti, before watching my fork and my empty plate get far away from me. "B-but I'm not thupposed to do exercise" My words are muffled until I do a great effort to swallow my food. "I have to wait at least an hour!"

"NOT WITH MONSTER FOOD!"

Papyrus quickly moved the furniture to the sides so that we would have more space to move. He had a DVD with the musical videos of Mettaton's last album and we watched the first steps in slow motion, only for me to teach them afterwards to Papyrus.

Sans spread himself like a giant cat on the couch to get a good view of what we were doing, allowing Frisk to rest on him, which reminded me of Simba and Mufasa in that happy star-gazing scene before… yeah, you know the rest. I could see them exchanging words and laughing, like Sans was the funny uncle with his favorite nibling, although I was too focused on the dance to pay attention to what they were talking about. Sans would crack jokes at us too, earning laughs from me and groans from Papyrus, until he and Frisk eventually ended up taking a nap.

Papyrus stuck to his word; he truly was a fast learner. I was really shy at first -even if I love to learn the choreographies to k-pop songs I like, I've only done it _alone_ at home- but there was something about Papyrus' energy, as well as Sans' and this house in general that made it difficult to stay self-conscious. We would laugh at ourselves whenever we got a step wrong, but not in a mocking way and not to cover our own embarrassment. We laughed because we felt like it. We made up all kinds of new moves and I wish we'd had a mirror since half of them were really cool –Papyrus wasn't half the bad dancer he claimed to be- while the other half was ridiculously silly and hilarious. By the time we realized Frisk and Sans had fallen asleep, we were having a Mettaton karaoke night since I ended up memorizing the lyrics of the song and therefore, had turned into a newborn Mettaton fan. Papyrus was very proud. We tried to keep it a bit quieter, trying to giggle silently, but it was pointless. If our voices hadn't wakened them up at this point, then nothing would.

Our hypothesis proved to be true when I couldn't hold my laughter anymore. It didn't matter how loud we sang or how hard we laughed, they looked so peaceful and so adorable that we couldn't help but take pictures and selfies with them. Then we created the Sans' Step and the Frisk Step in their honor, which basically consisted in shrugging rhythmically with a lazy smile and a stone expression, respectively.

Eventually Frisk woke up and they decided that it was time for Sans' nap to be over as well. Papyrus insisted that we showed them what we knew of the dance and I reminded his brother that the terms of our host-guest unwritten contract prevented him from making fun of us. Papyrus instantly took my side and while Sans only laughed at our reactions and made a pun about it, he clapped along with Frisk at the end of our mini-performance. Papyrus wouldn't stop giving me compliments about what a great dancer I was and made it clear that he wasn't saying that just to be a good host.

By the end of the night the four of us were laughing, had watched _Mettatons_ of movies (I made Sans laugh with that one), eaten more spaghetti and had gotten cozy with pillows, mattresses and sheets in the living room for Sans to read us his brother's favorite bedtime story, 'Peek-a-boo with Fluffy Bunny.'

Sans was a great story-teller and I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up a bit at the ending. Such a deep story. Before we went to sleep Papyrus gave Frisk and I toothbrushes he'd bought for us, and Sans brought more sheets in case we got cold.

"Good Night Friends!" Papyrus calls out standing next to the light switch. My heart skips a beat at the "f" word.

"I-I Mean, Uh, Hu-humans." He instantly turns off the lights and runs to his mattress on the floor, covering his head with the sheets. I insisted both skeletons kept their mattresses since they were bigger. Frisk and I could easily squish on the couch.

"G-good night, Papyrus. Good night, Sans" My mouth is dry.

"Night, kid."

My heart hammers in my chest.

_Friend._

When was the last time someone called me that?

It took very little time for Papyrus to begin snoring softly, a few Nyeh's here and there. Frisk joined him soon after. I didn't really mind, since all I could really do was stare at the bare ceiling.

Trying to make myself fall into slumber, I took as many deep breaths as I can but they just caught in my throat. Then the thought of tomorrow came.

It takes me five seconds to realize I'll never fall asleep.

Eyes that won't close. A heart that won't stop its fast beating. Is Papyrus really going to capture us tomorrow? After everything we did today?

The idea of asking the skeleton brothers for a place to stay is out of the question. My plan is to leave, not to stay. I think of my parents and my dog, and how miss them. How much I want to see them and how much they must want to see me.

Then why does the idea of forgetting about Sans and Papyrus hurt so much?

The thought of leaving these guys alone without saying goodbye after what they did for us, sickens me to the point of almost puking, preventing me from escaping first thing in the morning.

Their kindness, their sincere hearts… At least I have the rest of the night to decide.

_Guides, what am I supposed I do?_

I feel them smile at me.

"psst. kid?"

My eyebrows knit together. Sans?

"kiddo, psst. you awake?"

I shift to my side. He really is awake. "Yes." I whisper back.

"did i wake you?"

I shake my head, in spite that he might not be able to see me in the darkness. "I was already awake"

"heh, i figured. can't sleep?"

I let myself flop on the couch and look back at ceiling. "No. I can't turn my mind off. You?"

"same" I hear him shift, probably getting more comfortable in the mattress. I can't blame him if that is the reason why he can't sleep. "you uh… you alright, kid? you sound weird."

I bite my lip. Hard. I'm tempted to tell him that I'm actually really tired and that I'm just going to try to sleep. Instead, a breathy voice comes out. "No."

All I can do is wonder about tomorrow.

"I don't want to fight Papyrus. Or you. Or anyone tomorrow or ever again."

He lets out a soft, but dark laugh of relief before he sighs. I don't understand. Relief of what? How could we possibly harm them in any way? Much less in a FIGHT. To be afraid of us is downright absurd.

"that's good. we don't wanna fight you either."

I'm worried about waking Frisk and Papyrus, but the soft snoring continues. Besides, Sans would never talk about this if he believed we could be heard so easily. We keep our voices low, though.

"Then why do we have to go through all of this? Why do monsters hate humans so much? I mean, Frisk and I just want to go home, we haven't harmed anybody. Why would some of you want to take our souls away?"

Answering those questions makes him uncomfortable, I can feel it. Nonetheless, his voice is casual and carefree as always. "only one bedtime story per night. those are the host-guest rules."

I mutter a "Hmph" in a pathetic attempt of a chuckle but the truth is I can't even smile.

"don't worry about paps. he sees you and the other kid as friends. he won't fight ya."

_Oh God, not that word again._

I turn around on the couch, leaving only my back for him to see, pressing my eyes shut as strongly as I can, hating the tears that want to be left out.

"kid?"

"We should sleep. We'll figure it out tomorrow."

He chuckles. "what's there to figure out?"

"Everything."

His voice teeters between amusement and exasperation. "kid, seriously, monsters are not obsessed with souls. you don't wanna fight and neither do we, so what's _tomato_? thought we were pals."

Sobs. _Great. Just fucking great._

"kid?"

Sans voice startles me, because even if it's still a whisper, I hear it right in my ear. Realizing he's standing right next to me, I wipe my tears away as quickly as I can.

"Sans, w-what the heck? how did you-?"

He only places his hand on my head. For a few seconds I freeze in place, registering the gesture. Then he begins patting and ruffling my hair, making my throat tighten.

And I cry.

He allows me to empty my emotions in silent tears and we remain like that for a while.

"by the way, papyrus was very happy today. thank you for that kid. looks like you kept your promise of helpin' me out."

I sit down to take a good look at him, disbelief written all over my features. "A-are you serious? S-sans, I-I'm the one who's grateful beyond measure." I never liked the sound of my voice when is broken, but I don't care, I just want him to look into my eyes to make sure he understands. "You have no idea of what today meant to me." I don't bother to hold back the tears anymore.

All mirth leaves Sans' face. I can see a real intent to understand. To listen. To let his own walls falter a bit even if only temporarily. I realize that for the first time since I met him, and I have no idea of how long this moment will last, he doesn't see me as a threat.

I take a deep breath, trying to make what I'm about to whisper more clear. He has to know this. "After almost five years, today is the day I finally made, not one, but _two_ friends." The sound of those words out loud twist my heart in a way I can't begin to explain and I know I just left Sans speechless. My throat hurts in my attempt to keep as much self-control as possible or otherwise I'll be unable to speak altogether.

"And coming from me this might sound really odd, but today I felt… young." I continue as I see he still has no words. How could he? "Ridiculous, right? You and Papyrus made me feel like a real 21 year old girl, hanging out with her friends just to laugh and be silly- I mean, we had a freaking slumber party." A bitter-sweet laugh escapes my mouth. "For the first time in forever I felt… normal. Hahaha, do you know what a rare privilege that is for someone as weird as me? People up there don't realize it, but being normal is the best thing that can happen to you. It means you belong. If you're normal, people accept you. It means you're not alone. It means you are… loveable."

There, I said it.

It doesn't matter that I'm about to graduate in Psychology and that I know for a fact that "I'm not loveable" is the most harmful thought to ever exist. It doesn't matter that in my spiritual path I've learned that self-love (not selfishness) is what will allow you to have a happy life and that I believe everyone is worthy of love, including their own. It doesn't matter that I encourage self-acceptance and help others not to judge themselves. Deep down, I still feel like something is wrong with me. That no one can love me. That no one can love an awkward, weird, boring, weak, lonely girl who is afraid of the world.

Who would want to befriend someone like that?

I don't know if I just exposed my weakest spot to a friend or to a potential enemy, who I've sensed is extremely good at finding others' weaknesses, but either way I can't stop the tears from falling.

At least I discovered all the healing work I still have to do in myself.

"Today, you proved the voice inside my head that day after day tells me I'll never make real friends because I'm just not cut out for it, wrong. I don't care if it was only for one day, but you proved it wrong. And for that… for that I can't thank you and your brother enough." My lips stretch in a pained smile, as I wipe my tears away with the back of my hands. "Even if I just go back to my life in the surface, this day of carefree youth and fun will forever be engraved in my memory as one of my favorite days in my life. And if I…" I bite my trembling lip. I need to finish the sentence. Even if I can only stammer it out, someone has to hear this. "…And if I _die_ on my way back to the surface, I'm glad I got to have one more of those lazy, happy evenings with friends."

In that moment, Sans gets down on his knees. His arms wrap around me and I'm pulled into a hug. A tight, warm hug. After a second of shock and processing what is happening, I have no trouble returning it. My arms squeeze him in response and I can only hope he forgives me for soaking his pajamas. I hadn't realized how much I'd been thinking about dying. About the regrets and unfulfilled dreams I'd have if my life was to end in just a couple of days. Wondering if I'd truly made the best of what I had. What I have.

"c'mon kid, paps is already planning the next hangout." His low, deep voice reverberates in his chest where my face is buried. "besides don't tell me you already forgot." I try to tilt my head to look up at him, but he doesn't move nor lets me go. Instead, he only stays there holding me, and softly whispers, "i'll keep an eye-socket out for you... pal."

I can't help but squeeze him tighter as I feel myself smiling against his body. My shoulders shake and I feel him tense before he realizes I'm chuckling. Weak and accompanied by an endless stream of tears, but chuckling all the same.

And I feel a flicker of something within me. It's small, but if I could physically see it, it would be a tiny spark of light, slowly growing into a bigger, brighter one. Little by little, I know it can make the darkness go away.

Hope.

And it only grows the moment I feel two extra different pairs of arms surrounding me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a very fun and emotional chapter for me to write. I both laughed and cried when I wrote this. I hope you liked it. And just so you know, YOU ARE LOVEABLE AND WORTHY OF LOVE, just as you are, flaws, quirkiness and everything. You are especially worthy of your own love, acceptance and even forgiveness for not being who you think you "should" be. It's okay to be just the way you are and to feel just the way you feel. You are good enough and there is nothing wrong with you. And that is a lesson Caroline has still got to learn.
> 
> Oh and by the way, the Mettaton's song exists and it's really good and addictive. It's my cannon voice for Mettaton. You can find it in Youtube, it's called "They Need a Monster" by MandoPony. This chapter's title is part of the lyrics.
> 
> And for my cannon voice of Papyrus, also in Youtube, you can look for "Undertale The Musical - Let's Dating Love" and it's absolutely ADORABLE! You'll love it!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you liked the chapter and wherever you are, I wish you the best.


	8. To protect your heart, you must open it

… _Y…you…._

In this cold, black void, it's impossible for you not to recognize that voice.

The same eerie whispers that will haunt you the second you wake up, leaving you with the memory of the weak but desperate words echoing in the fathomless dark. Words so strange and fearful you can't forget.

And for a moment, you wish you did. You wish that the poor tortured soul who inhabits this God-forgotten place would finally find the help and the peace so long denied to them. You wish they found someone who could actually make a difference, someone who could hear them and offer them some guidance.

_...Help…...….k….kid…._

But isn't that why you are here in the first place?

"Please." You whisper. You know it can hear you anyway. "Tell me what you are looking for."

… _.H…heeeelp…._

The temperature drops drastically the more they speak. You hate the cold. _"_ Where are you? _"_

… _un…der….g…ground…._

_h…..the..…..k..….kid.…_

Different words. You've never heard this before. "What?!"

… _.help….th…the….…kid….._

"No! Don't leave! DON'T LEAVE! I'LL HELP YOU! I- I PROMISE I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT! I JUST NEED MORE TIME!"

… _h…e….l….p…_

_US._

I blink and raise my head from the pillow, every thought in high definition.

My stomach is in knots and my heart is pounding as I breathlessly try to shake the crawling goosebumps off my arms, the remnants of the dream still clinging to my mind.

I fall back and pull the pillow over my face.

The voice. I'd completely forgotten about it.

I make my best to ignore the shiver running down my spine in hopes that it'll pass faster and my hands stop shaking. The voice had never been this clear and strong. I remember what my guides told me every single time I asked about that dream:

_Soon._

And now, a few days later, it all finally makes sense.

I try to steady my breathing, but its words won't stop echoing in my head.

_Help the kid._

"Of course." I whisper, reeling from understanding. This was about Frisk from the start. I was never the kid the voice was referring to. I'm just a sort of protector. _Pfft, yeah right_. More like a companion, to be honest. No one would argue with the statement that I need to become a better, more capable guardian. Yet I still have no idea on how to help the owner of the voice.

Who just confessed lives here in the Underground.

The whole idea is beyond horrifying. Having a small clue as to what I'm supposed to do here should bring me the slightest sense of relief, yet the fact that it's not a person's soul I've been talking to but to a monster's soul, or worse, a perfectly _**living**_ _**monster**_ that has the power to call out to me IN MY DREAMS, terrifies me.

And not only that, they've been doing so for a damn week. That would mean I've been talking to a monster before I even knew monsters were real. Did this monster know I was going to fall into the Underground? If they knew I was going to meet Frisk then they must have been watching me somehow. Did they set the whole thing up? For how long? The whole situation is unnerving. I hate the sensation that I'm missing out something important and even more ignoring how much that monster knows that I don't and their hidden agenda.

And mostly, ignoring what they can do that I can't.

Knowing it will take a while for my pulse to return to normal, I take the pillow off my face and hug it instead. The room is still silent and the light is dim, even though it isn't dark anymore.

To my surprise, neither Frisk, Papyrus nor Sans are anywhere to be seen.

I call out to them a few times to no avail, but luckily for me before I can panic, I discover a small piece of paper that graciously falls from my lap the second I stand up.

' _MY BROTHER, FRISK AND I_ _WENT SHOPPING. FEEL FREE TO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME! FRISK INSISTED TO JOIN US AND THEY SAY YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT A SINGLE THING. I AGREE! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BREAKFAST._

_-NYEHFULLY YOURS, PAPYRUS."_

I manage a weak giggle. Unbelievably that helps me feel better. My shoulders relax and I can't help but find it weird that I'm actually not worried about Frisk being alone with the skeleton brothers, even though a part of me thinks I should be. I sigh. I'm tired of all the overthinking. For this little while, I'll just let myself enjoy the feeling of safety these two amazing guys have brought me amidst the chaos.

But I should have known relaxing was nothing but a waste of time in this place.

One horror movie cliché that we can still see today and that for some reason I find creepy no matter how overused it is, is the typical scene in which the evil spirit whispers the protagonist's name or something murdery. However, let's take a look at the definition of the word 'whisper' for a second. We say that someone is whispering whenever they speak quietly or secretly or, as I remember reading once in elementary school, when someone speaks softly without using their full voice.

So when I heard an enraged, fierce, but at the same time very soft yell in my ear saying "HUMAN", the word that came to mind to describe it best was whisper. It didn't matter how loud it sounded. Anyone who heard it would easily be able to tell there was still a lot of volume available for the voice if the speaker so desired. So, by technical definition, we've got ourselves a whisper.

I don't think I'll ever be afraid of a cliché horror movie ever again.

I've got reality for that.

"YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!" Someone growls in my ear right as an armored arm tangles around my throat and my back is suddenly pressed against something hard and cold, knocking the air out of me. My knuckles go white in a desperate attempt to remove the arm and breathe. I begin kicking the ground.

They snort. "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRY A LITTLE HARDER THAN THAT! BUT DON'T WORRY. THIS SHALL BE OVER SOON…"

The strength around my neck increases. My lungs burn for oxygen. I am drowning. My body fights with whatever strength I have and I'm glad to see there is some mercy left for me because when I long for darkness to take me, it does.

#

When I swim back into semiconsciousness, I can feel I'm lying on the ground. There is a pinching sensation in my neck and a burning dryness in my throat as the world spins around me. I attempt to move my arms, but I have no real motor coordination and no proof that I still have fingers.

I try to lift my heavy head and that simple neck movement causes me more pain than anything I've experienced. At least I caught a glimpse of my numb but still complete hands.

Somehow through the dizzying rush of air, the relief at being able to breathe again, I notice a figure in armor standing in front of a cave a few feet away from me , except that instead of a helmet, there's an out-of-focus blue head with an eye patch and a long, flowing red ponytail.

My nerves jangle a warning and I can feel my breath beginning to shake.

"It was about time, weakling!" The figure grows less blurry as she walks closer. My panic starts to dissipate my trance-like state, but my body refuses to follow my commands.

"GET UP AND FIGHT ME, YOU COWARD!" She doesn't stop and I drag my body backwards as fast as I can with trembling elbows. Suddenly I wish I had pretended to pass out because in the space of a blink, a spear materializes out of thin air in her armored claw.

"FIGHT ME ALREADY!" She snarls and the spear flies only to stick into the ground, missing me by inches. This only infuriates her more and her enraged growls are exactly what I need to gather the strength to stumble to my feet.

With adrenaline as my best friend I take the spear out of the ground and point it right at her, taking several steps back. Only when she is this close I notice the blue scales in her skin and shark-like teeth.

"STOP!" I demand, unable to keep my voice from trembling. "STOP, I SAID!" Holding on to the spear, I try to calculate my options but my brain doesn't work right. The world finally stops spinning and my body feels clumsy.

She laughs scornfully. "Or what? You think you can give me orders? You think you can threaten ME?! YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE, INSIGNIFICANT HUMAN! WITH YOUR SOUL WE'LL FINALLY BE FREE!"

Lifting both of her arms, more spears appear in her armored claws. "Seven. Seven human souls and ASGORE will become a god. Six. That's how many we have-"

In that moment I don't think, just act.

I throw my spear right at her, barely seeing it collide with her armor and uselessly clatter to the ground, before running full speed in the opposite direction, pathetically zigzagging in hopes that I'll become a more difficult target.

"NGAAHHHH! SO YOU _ARE_ A COWARD! YOU HAVE NO HONOR, LITTLE BRAT!"

Quick, heavy steps follow after me. I instantly regret the stupid extra second I thought I'd gained for myself by throwing the spear. In this humid, cave-like place I can barely see where I'm going but I don't care. To keep moving is all that matters.

A thin plank bridge over a chasm is ahead. There are no ropes to hold on to and before I can decide if my unstable nervous system is capable of crossing it, a spear breaks it in half and I jump back, letting out a yelp.

Spinning in my heels, I lift my hands in surrender. "Wait, PLEASE! I'm sorry about the spear, I didn't mean it! Let's talk-"

" _TALK_?! What am I? YOUR COUNSELOR?!" For the first time I sense her energy. Hateful waves of fire that leave me feeling fearful, insignificant and utterly powerless. Anger is the ugliest kind of energy I know.

"Now's when you face your fate." With every step she takes, I feel my heart racing faster and faster. "I despise selfish, weak, pathetic humans like you! You aren't even the cool kind of human, with giant swords or a supernatural princess! All you do is get in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams!"

I can't step back. I'll fall if I do.

"What do you mean I'm getting in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams? I haven't done anything to anyone, I don't want to harm anybody! Why would you want to kill me?! What does Asgore want?!"

"You are just like the others." No one's ever looked at me with so much contempt. "Your mouth won't save you. LESS TALKING AND MORE FIGHTING!" She lifts her spear and charges ahead.

"PAPYRUS! SANS!" I start shouting like crazy, but this place is completely deserted and who knows how far away. There's no snow and it isn't even cold.

At this point the popping sound has almost become like a trigger to me. My soul is out the next moment and the realization makes my stomach sink.

"You called out for Papyrus? Oh, so you're not just a coward, you're stupid too!" Spears fly straight to my green heart and body. I throw myself to the ground and lower my soul right in front of me, dodging the dozens of spears by an inch.

I don't have a chance against someone this strong. I can't ACT. I can't reason with her because she isn't just angry. Her built-up hate and resentment against humans prevents her from even considering listening to me.

"You know Papyrus is in MY side, right? He kept you in his house so that I could trap you!"

Spears are aiming at me from above. In the last second, my soul follows my lead as I roll to the side. Repeating the same operation from before, I quickly stand and grab a spear from the ground before they disappear and point it at her. I put my soul behind me. I can already see more spears starting to form. "Papyrus is my friend!"

The spears disappear before they completely materialize. The fish-woman's jaw drops and her burning yellow eye goes wide. There's an ominous, deafening silence. "Your… FRIEND?!" Her metal claws clench into fists and I can almost listen to the gritting of her sharp teeth. If my senses were completely reliable at this moment I would also say that her body is shaking in anger. " _LIAR_!"

This time the spears don't need time to charge. A complete line of them appears above the fish monster and when she points at me with all her strength, they fly with brutal force from all directions.

Out of foolish denial, courage or sheer terror, I do one last attempt at survival.

I jump to the side, using the spear in my hands to deflect the other ones. When I fall to the ground, I realize I'm still alive but not unharmed. Several spears have scratched my clothes and cut my skin, but I can barely feel pain. "I'm not lying. Papyrus _is_ my friend." I manage to pant out, yet as soon as I look up, I see another line of spears coming at me and the monster gives another battle roar.

This time I'm sure I won't make it.

Even if I was that fast, there is nowhere to go. The only thing that occurs to me is to push my soul as far away as possible so that she won't find it, but it might be too late even for that.

Before I put myself in fetal position, a cage of bones pops out of nowhere, surrounding me completely. There are no spaces between the bones, but I'm startled at the sounds of what I assume are the spears crashing against my new shield.

I pray that the bones won't break, only for the cage to vanish as fast as it materialized in the first place. I see no spears.

My heart skips a beat when I see who is standing in front of me.

"UNDYNE, STOP THIS FIGHT!" Papyrus' cape flaps behind him as he faces the fish-woman, hiding me protectively behind his tall body.

"P-papyrus?! What do you mean I should stop this FIGHT? Don't you see this is a human?!"

"Yes." Papyrus speaks calmly, but there's a heavy undertone to his voice. "And This Human Is My Friend." He turns around and only when he carefully helps me to my feet, I realize I had remained sitting on the ground. He shoots a quick, remorseful glance to my wounds.

"WHAT?!" Undyne shifts her gaze and shoots me a piercing glare. Judging by the obvious growing tension in her body, I'm sure her rage will burst out again and it's not difficult for me at all to swallow an 'I told you so'. I hold on to Papyrus' cape and refuse to leave his side like a scared, shy little girl that is meeting her parents' adult friends.

Instead of the anger outburst that I was waiting for, Undyne lets out a long sigh and pinches the center of her face like she had a nose.

"This was never your plan, was it?"

"OF COURSE NOT! SANS AND I WERE WORRIED SICK WHEN WE DIDN'T FIND HER IN OUR HOUSE!" I can't help but feel a deep, unexpected joy at that statement. Of course, I hide it at the time. And I'm even more grateful that he left Frisk out of the equation.

"Monster Kid told me you'd trapped a human in your house. He said he saw you this morning on your way to tell me, but he thought he could let me know faster."

Papyrus pauses and he lowers his gaze. "I'm Sorry Undyne. I Wanted To Tell You About It, I Really Did. I Was Only Waiting For The Right Time And Looking For The Right Way To Tell You."

"Nosy, troublesome kiddo..." Undyne shakes her head, letting out another sigh. "But you must know this…" The relaxed aura is gone in an instant, her fiery yellow eye blazes and her voice goes dangerously soft. "Misunderstanding or not, whatever it takes, I _will_ capture that human. I _never_ give up."

My heart hammers against my chest and my eyes go wide open in horror. When am I going to stay out of trouble?

"I Was Hoping You Would Say That Because..." Papyrus takes a step forward and I feel unprotected. I can't believe his words, but what helps me calm down is how serene he seems for once. "I Have A Challenge For You."

My heart jumps. I don't like the sound of this.

"HA! You want to challenge _me_?"

"Indeed." He places his arm around my shoulders. "Caroline and I challenge you to… the famous Crazy Monster Challenges!"

"WHAT?!"

Undyne and I exclaim at unison. The reassurance the sight of Papyrus had brought me has turned into alarm and ominous shivers.

"I Have The List Of Challenges Right Here!" Papyrus shows a sheet of paper, pleased with himself. "I Cannot Let You Capture Caroline. But Maybe You'll Earn The Right To Do So If You Happen To Win Against Us. Then It Will Be Fair." His look turns into a smug one. "Unless I Overestimated You And You Don't Want To Participate Because You Are Scared To Lose…"

I pull Papyrus' cape repeatedly in an attempt to stop this. It doesn't work.

"NGAHH! I'm not one to back out from a challenge and you know it!" She grunts, seemingly conflicted with herself but only for a moment. "You asked for it! It's on, you punks!"

Papyrus grins satisfied and before he can speak, I release myself from his arm and step in the middle of them both. I can't allow one more second of this. I was supposed to leave today.

"I'm really sorry to break it to you," I alternate my gaze between them, "but no one asked me if I wanted to participate in this, and the truth is-"

"I KNEW IT! YOU'RE A COWARD!" Undyne points at me.

"I'm not. A coward." I put on a convincing mask of self-confidence and slight indignation, which is only possible in these circumstances thanks to the safety Papyrus' energy brings to me. Also if Undyne has stopped attacking me, it's thanks to him. However, my words are a lie because the truth is I agree with her.

I can't finish what I was going to say because it is then that happens what I should have anticipated hours ago.

"bro, alphys is looking for ya. she says she's ready to be the judge." Behind Papyrus and I at the other side of the chasm, is Sans, who also turns to look at me and my fish nemesis and gives us the most casual, laziest grin. "heya undyne. kid."

After yesterday, it would be normal for me to be relieved and happy to see the skeleton with the perfect/worst timing in the world. Someone I now consider a friend. Someone who has even said wants to protect me. Nonetheless, this time I can only feel anger. Rage, even.

I don't think I'll be able to forgive him.

"THAT'S ANOTHER HUMAN?!" Undyne gasps and I'm internally freaking out. Just by looking at her face, I don't want to know what is going through her fish head.

"Undyne!" I quickly stand in front of her, lifting my arms to block her view and get her attention at the same time. She glances down at me, still in shock after seeing Frisk. "Papyrus and I will win. You don't have a chance against us."

Her wide open mouth twists into a fierce frown and I feel an insignificant victory. I can't let her focus on Frisk. "You don't know what you're getting into, human. I will capture you BOTH!" And with that, Undyne runs, vaulting with one of her spears across the chasm, and disappearing into the darkness.

I keep watching even after she is gone. Papyrus' shouting is what brings me back to my miserable reality.

"HUMAN, ARE YOU OKAY?" He frantically eyes me up and down. "OMG OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT OKAY! I'M SORRY! I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN BETTER CARE OF YOU! SIT DOWN YOU HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING! OH NO! THE RED LIQUID IS SUPPOSED TO BE INSIDE! SANS! _SANS_! DID YOU BRING THE FOOD?!"

"Papyrus, I'm okay, don't worry. I'll be fine, it's not your fault" I had forgotten all about my wounds. Yet, when Papyrus brings up the subject, they actually begin to hurt along with my neck. However, he doesn't hear a word I say.

"yep, i got it." Sans replies and throws something at him. Papyrus easily catches it.

"SIT DOWN, HUMAN! YOU NEED TO REST!" I do as he says, more worried about him than I am about me. I've never seen him acting this way. His outer, panicky state is a perfect mirror of how I feel about the whole challenging Undyne thing. He quickly unwraps what looks like an ice cream and after gently feeding me the frozen treat, I instantly feel a thousand times better. My wounds and the pain are gone.

Then he gives me the wrapper, which confuses me at first, but then I read the message it has written. It says

"Nice Cream:

 _You can do it_!"

If you've ever had a coincidence of this kind, know that's your guides sending you a sign. I fold it with the intent to keep it.

Meanwhile, Sans makes a bridge of bones for him and Frisk to cross to get to us. The second it's ready, Frisk runs to me and gives me a big hug that I can't help to return with double strength.

"Don't worry, I won't let her come near you." I say to them, but they just giggle. I let them go to look into their eyes. I'm squinting. "What?"

"hmm you like having some action in your life, don't you kid?"

Sans is standing next to me and it takes every ounce of strength I have to reply to him. Calmly, anyways. I inhale to increase my patience. Still I end up glaring daggers at him. "Why did you bring Frisk?"

"undyne had already accepted the challenge. there was no danger." He shrugs and I feel water boiling in my belly. I stand up, a part of me trying to contain my anger, while the rest of me just wants to let him have it.

"There was no danger?! Huh?!" It feels like I've turned into a ball of fire. "And YOU, what were you thinking? I'M TERRIBLE AT COMPETITIONS! This is a terrible idea, we're going to lose! Not to mention I have no idea what these _Crazy Monster Challenges_ are about, but I can already say I don't like the name!"

"Oh, But Human, Don't You See? Winning The Competition Was Never The Plan!" Papyrus grins widely, showing how proud he is of himself and letting me know this was his idea. Yet I'm completely puzzled. Seeing my expression he elaborates. "I Mean, Of Course I'm Going To Give My Best So We Can Both Win, But Winning Isn't Important. By The End Of The Day We'll Have Such A Great Time That Undyne Will See How Fantastic You Are Just Like You Will Get To Know Her And The Two Of You Will Be Friends! She Won't Want To Capture You Nor The Smaller Human!" Don't ask me how, but his sockets move as if he is wiggling nonexistent eyebrows. " _That_ Is The Master Plan."

"and the challenges aren't what you think, kid. you could have fun if you gave it a try. besides, if you want a shot at getting home, you gotta get through undyne first anyways."

Papyrus stands next to Sans. Even Frisk walks up to them. "We Already Thought This Through, Human. There Is No Way We Can Lose. Even If We Lose." Papyrus and Sans smile at me. I feel a twinge of guilt. Why are they being so nice to me after how I talked to them?

I ponder on their words and the more I think about them, the more sense they make. The one little problem about this plan is that the last thing I want is to be friends with a monster that tried to choke and kill me. But maybe… maybe if we don't become friends, at least we can let go of grudges? At least she can let me go home?

I look down at the Nice Cream wrapper.

_You can do it!_

I look up to the skeletons as they watch me expectantly. In that moment, I sprint forward, throwing my arms around both of them and hiding my face in their shoulders (one of each skeleton). "Thank you. For coming to get me. And for making this plan." They both pat and rub my back. Frisk also hugs my legs. "And I'm sorry."

Sans chuckles. "don't sweat it, kid. we know you're scared."

"But That Ends Here! You Are With Us Now. There Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of Anymore."

I smile against their bones and clothes. I hug them tighter.

"Very well." I pull away and ruffle Frisk's hair. "Let's win this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that you are well wherever you are. I wish you the best!
> 
> So, like the title of this chapter, this is what I want to tell you. "The only way to keep your heart safe, is to open it." This is exactly what Caroline is about to learn with Undyne here.
> 
> She is paranoid about protecting her heart (literally), but that's exactly how many of us act in our daily lives. Like Caronline, many of us feel so weak and vulnerable all the time because we've been hurt before. We feel we've been destroyed (like Caroline after her encounter with Napstablook) or we feel that we've let ourselves be destroyed. And thus we are very defensive in our relationships (family, friends, romantic partner, every kind of relationship) to protect ourselves from rejection, abandonment, loneliness, loss, sadness, etc. But if we give ourselves the chance to let go of our fears and to open our hearts completely again, maybe we'll discover that we were missing out the best in life. We'll discover we weren't keeping the pain out. We were keeping it IN. The walls we place around our hearts don't only keep other people out, they keep us out too. That is why we feel so empty, as if some important part of ourselves is missing. As if we're incomplete. Only when we open our hearts, can we go within them and finally find ourselves and just be open to life.


	9. What challenges you most, may teach you best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I brought you two chapters. Hope you guys are doing great wherever you are.

There is one place that has always been there for me ever since I was a little girl. A place that has seen me at my best and at my worst, yet it never ceases to make things better either way. A place that has been my safe haven for a long time, no matter where I go. It has inspired my best epiphany moments, seen my first kiss, my first heartbreak and the ones to follow, basically all of my birthdays and celebrations, and I dare to say there is not a single facial expression this place hasn't seen me do and there's no emotion I haven't experienced there: the movie theater.

So it was natural for me to doubt all those years I would hear people complain that books are always better than movies. I would tell myself that they were too negative, that they simply didn't understand the magic I saw in movies or that they were just plain crazy. However, it was when a film based on a popular book was announced that I finally decided to put that theory to the test and got myself The Hunger Games.

I've never been happier to swallow my pride.

Ever since I fell in love with reading. It's not that I hadn't read books before, but I had associated them with boredom because of school, even if I'd truly enjoyed a few along the way.

So now, 4 years later, it's easy for me to relate to both scenes of movies I've watched and books I've read as I go through different things in life. And at this moment, it is the iconic scene in The Hunger Games in which Katniss Everdeen shows the world who she truly is and what she stands for, that is stuck in my head. The moment when her sister Prim gets chosen for the games and she bravely volunteers to replace her in the cruel fate she knows will be waiting for her.

"I-I-I'm really sorry, but those are the rules. The only way to make this c-c-competition valid is to uh, have the other human team up with um..." The short, yellow reptilian adjusts her glasses bashfully, eyes glued to the floor and a red glow dusting her face. "…you."

However the slight difference between Katniss and I, is that I cannot volunteer in the place of the younger person I care about because I already am in the games.

Undyne slams her fist on the table making me jump. "Ngaaaah! I don't need to team up with the other human! I can take on both Papyrus _and_ the coward! A human would only slow me down!"

Sadly, I cannot take advantage of this rare occurrence. Even though Undyne and I are on the same side, Frisk wants to participate and my guides think they should team up with her.

Papyrus doesn't seem concerned at all –which brings me enormous tranquility- and neither does Sans, since he's napping.

So if all of them agree to this, so do I.

Undyne's and Alphys' voices sink somewhere in the background as the former tries to find a loophole in the rules and begins a passionate speech explaining in detail why humans are so inferior.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. _Dios mío, dame paciencia._ I'm not even offended at the things she says anymore.

As much as I like hanging out at the skeleton brothers' house, it's just not the same with a female fish version of Hitler in the living room.

In that moment, something warm covers my ears, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look up, only to find Papyrus' hands serving as my new earmuffs. "UNDYNE, PLEASE! This Is My Last Warning! These Humans Are My Guests And I Will Not Tolerate Any Offense To Them In This House!"

"Fine! Fine! Jeez…" Holding her hands up in defense and rolling her eyes, Undyne resumes her conversation with a very red Alphys.

Ha-ha. No matter how tough and rude Undyne can be, she seems to respect her friends. No person is completely black or white.

"My Apologies, Human." Papyrus stares at me with puppy eyes, giving me the most ashamed and guilty of looks. "You Must Feel Very Uncomfortable Right Now. Were You Offended? I Will Make It Up To You! Worry Not! When This Is Over, I'LL Cook Friendship Spaghetti For You, Or Any Other Dish You May Want. After That We Can Play Any Game of Your Choosing Or Whatever You Wish. The Great Papyrus Will Make Sure You Have Immense Amounts Of Fun!"

Remember when I said that it's pointless to try and be calm in the Underground because it won't last? Well, somehow in this contradictory place, it is also pointless to be in a bad mood because it won't last either.

I can't hide a chuckle. Can this skeleton get any cuter? "Thank you, Papyrus. I'm okay, don't worry. You're too sweet."

"N-nyeh…" His cheeks turn slightly orange and he rubs the back of his skull, averting my gaze.

So answering to my question, yes, he can.

I notice heat rising to my cheeks and my first instinct is to push it away. "I just hope that Undyne isn't right when she says that I would still lose even if my opponents were the snails in Waterfall." I frown. "Whatever that means."

"Nyeheheh! Pffft! Of Course Not, That's Ridiculous! Please Don't Take Anything Undyne Says Personally. She Is Only Saying Those Things Because She Hasn't Had The Privileged Opportunity To Truly Know You."

"Yeah, riiiight. If she _truly_ knew me she would…" My eyes widen.

"Papyrus, that's it!" I gasp.

Everyone in the room suddenly stares intently at me with puzzled gazes, including the previous napping Sans, and the skeleton's living room goes awfully quiet.

Even Undyne has no words and I bet that if there was one of those snails she compared me to earlier, we could all listen to it move.

I straighten a bit, silently clear my throat and conjure all my acting skills. "Yeah… that's it, Papyrus." I say in a matter-of-fact voice, shrugging just like Sans. I make sure my body language is a perfect match to my tone. "I completely understand Undyne. I agree, this isn't fair to her."

"Huh… Pathetic. Do you expect a thank-you note for your mediocre attempt of pretending to be in my side?"

"No, of course not. I'm just stating the truth. It's like you said, a human would slow you down, right? After all, teamwork does require a more sophisticated and complex set of skills than doing something individually."

In my head I hear the Super Smash Bros. crowd go "oooohh" and chanting my name, exactly like they would shout _Kirby!_ over and over again whenever I KO'd other players in the 64 version.

At least I hear them until Sans doesn't bother to hold back a snort and I notice Undyne's hands clenching to fists.

"What did you say?" She steps away from Alphys and the fake audience in my head goes completely quiet, like people do when things are about to get serious. "You don't think I can work in a team? In case you didn't know, coward, I am the Head of the Royal Guard. Now _that's_ what I call a team."

"Yes, but they're monsters too." I drop my overly-confident façade. "It's easy for you to team up with them because you know them and you trust them. But teaming up with a human… that's clearly out of your comfort zone. I mean, look at Papyrus." I softly take his forearm and make it look like I'm making my point, but I just want some support while dealing with Undyne's yellow piercing eye. "It takes a lot of bravery to try something completely new and team up, not only with someone he just met, but with someone from a different species in spite of all the things he's heard about humans. He is willing to form his own opinion on the matter and give humankind a chance."

Undyne's eye narrows in disbelief and contempt, and although I'm not sure what I said will be enough, I can tell I got her mind working.

"Right You Are, Human. Do Not Forget That Working For A Team Also Requires Problem Solving and Communication Skills." Papyrus adds in an intellectual tone and I don't know how he joined my improvisation so smoothly. Ironically, what we're doing is a perfect demonstration of teamwork.

"Exactly Papyrus! Communication skills like assertiveness and active listening. It also requires trust, organization, leadership, giving and receiving feedback…"

I'm so busy recalling bits of information from Organizational Psychology class, that I don't notice when Frisk stands from the couch until they're in front of Undyne, offering her their hand. I suddenly forget everything I was saying.

***You tell Undyne you want to beat Caroline and Papyrus at their own game. You ask her if she wants to help you.**

Undyne stares at them for what seems an eternity with an unreadable expression, making the air feel so thick I could cut it with a knife. Her eyebrows knit together and I suddenly have the urge to take Frisk and everything I said back.

She slowly lifts her arm and her hand meets Frisk's. She doesn't shake it and I can only hope this is her way to seal the deal pacifically (praying to the gods that Undyne and I have remotely similar definitions of the word).

Her hand stays still making my heart skip a beat and I don't dare to breathe because I'm too afraid that the slightest sound will trigger something unnecessary and unwanted.

The next five seconds of acrobatic movement clue me in as to how she became Head of the Royal Guard.

Her decisive aura radiates excitement and determination, and I have no words when I see her standing on the table, striking the proudest, most heroic pose I've ever seen, holding Frisk up Lion King style as if they're the Holy Grail.

"A human with guts! Finally… Together we'll show you the true meaning of real teamwork! Right, human?!"

Frisk nods with their overly neutral face.

"HA! We won't show you mercy! Asgore only needs one human soul anyways, and it will be _yours_ , coward! FUHUHUH!"

Not even giving me a chance to respond, Undyne tucks Frisk under her arm as if they're a doll, and lands on the floor only after doing a clean triple flip in the air. I have no idea where she got all this sudden rush of energy and before my poor shocked, overprotective-mom alter-ego can react, Alphys interrupts us making me wonder if perhaps I mistook her with a dinosaur, when in fact she might be a chameleon.

When I look at her, I only see red where yellow used to be.

A tomato dinosaur.

"I-i-i-it's settled th-then!" She manages to say and after these words, Sans leaves, chuckling and mumbling to himself something about hotdogs, tickets and knowing how to recognize a good business opportunity.

* * *

I think most humans wish at least once their lives to possess telepathy. I'm no exception.

But right now, I would like to have some kind of reversed telepathy that would allow me to send my thoughts to anyone of my choosing. If I had that particular ability right now, I would choose Sans. My message would be the next…

_Sans, you little piece of calcium._

My heart twists and sinks with nerves. Papyrus, Frisk, Undyne and I stand in a line at the center of the town where everyone can see us, our backs facing the Christmas tree.

I am watching the surrounding crowd of monsters but appearing not to. Most of them are eating hotdogs or holding small papers that I assume must be the ' _tickets_ ' Sans talked about. I feel like a gladiator in the Coliseum.

Without the glory, the courage or any kind of useful survival skill, that is.

"Brave c-c-competitors! Ehem! Listen to the… ru-rules!"

I sideways glance at Frisk, only for their evil teammate to generously glare daggers at me in return. I think Undyne's hate for me is programmed to duplicate with every passing hour. A chill that has nothing to do with the fact that there's snow all over the place, runs down my spine.

"For the first time in monster h-history, a human and a monster will be the members of each t-t-team." Alphys clears her throat. Like me, I can tell she feels self-conscious and exposed. Who wouldn't with an enthusiastic crowd of monsters carefully listening to every word you speak?

I also notice an elderly olive green tortoise-monster standing behind her.

"As you al-al-already know, two challenges will be randomly chosen from this list. The final challenge will be completely new and created exclusively for this particular competition." Alphys lifts a sheet of paper for everyone to see. Another shiver runs down my spine and I can only be thankful at the new wardrobe Sans and Papyrus bought for me. Can you believe that's what they were actually doing when they said they were just getting breakfast? They meant to surprise me and cheer me up -Papyrus' idea- and… yeah you know the rest. But now I get to wear jeans, a warm pink winter jacket and pink gloves. They bought Frisk new clothes too and for some odd reason they look exactly the same, but warmer. I seriously have to do something to repay the skeleton brothers' kindness.

"The team that succeeds in completing at least two out of the three challenges will be the wi-wi-winner. Each challenge has a small prize but the legendary prize for winning the Crazy Monster Challenges is to get one wish granted by the other t-team. O-o-of course! The wish must be something physically or magically possible... heh."

I can't let Undyne win. I won't let Asgore or any other monster to have Frisk's soul or mine. Ever.

Seeing so many faces around me _,_ I can't help but wonder if everyone here hates humans as well.

Cold sweat sits on my brow.

"Any method is valid to complete the challenges, except for FIGHTS. FIGHTS are strictly prohibited. Mr. Gerson and I will determine the winners of each challenge. So, um… please don't FIGHT?" She smiles sheepishly.

"And you must never forget the most important rule of all…" The turtle man behind Alphys says as he slowly walks up to the front. Alphys nods to him and he grins before they both exclaim in unison, "To have fun!"

The cheers erupt like an auditory volcano. My breathing becomes shallow and I almost jump when my hand is taken by Papyrus who is standing next to me. His kind and warm smile leaves me in shock and then he gives me a confident wink as he lightly squeezes my hand.

"We Can Do This, I Know It! Come On, Caroline! Let's Go!"

How do I put this? His eye-sockets may be completely black, but if humans' eyes were half as expressive and sincere, I don't think there would be wars.

"Okay! Where do we-? Ah!" Before I can reply he pulls my hand, and the next moment my feet are doing their best not to slip in the snow as I'm dragged by my skeletal friend (YAY! I HAVE A FRIEND!). Even in their cheering and clapping, the crowd is quick to open a path for us much to my relief. "P-Papyrus! Where are we going?!"

"Snowed Inn! That's Where The Crazy Monster Challenges Always Start!" He beams and at first I'm completely lost because I thought we were already in Snowdin, but it doesn't take long before we reach a small, pretty wooden building that reads 'Inn'.

I bet Sans appreciates the pun.

Papyrus lets me enter first and right when I begin wondering where Frisk and Undyne are, I see them inside waiting for us.

"Took you long enough, punks. Told you she'd slow you down, Papyrus."

"The competition hasn't even started yet." I keep my face calm and indifferent but I'm inwardly frowning. I've always sucked at sports and now Papyrus is paying the consequences.

"You're Wrong, Undyne. I Happen To Be Very Proud Of My Teammate. In Fact-"

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we must begin right away." A feminine pinkish bunny gets our attention from behind the counter and I feel bad for not noticing her before. Apparently I'm not the only one who feels guilty, since Undyne, Papyrus and I try to apologize at the same time.

"It's okay." She smiles politely to all of us and her attitude reminds me of that of the nurses in the Pokémon games. "Welcome to Snowed Inn! I know you won't be guests today, but please know that you are welcome to stay anytime! Now, as tradition dictates, you must write one wish or one dream of yours in this piece of paper. You are not allowed to tell the others what you wrote until the Challenges are over. Not even your teammate, alright? So no peeking!" She hands each one of us a pen and a white sheet of paper and I grow really curious as to what they'll do with this. I actually feel a tiny, childish spark of excitement.

The four of us use the counter to write down one of our dreams. Papyrus, Undyne and Frisk finish quickly, like thinking about dreams and wishes is a daily practice of theirs and didn't even have to give it a second thought. Would humans be as quick too?

I remain staring at the white space, the pen in my hand hovering over the paper. _C'mon, Caroline!_ _It's not a difficult question, you know what your dreams and wishes are._

But… choose only one?

"So even for this you'll slow us all down, huh?"

And that's just the reminder I needed. I know exactly what my wish is. I write it down and when I'm done, I hand out the pen and the paper to the lady bunny before meeting Undyne's eye. "What's the rush? Can't wait to lose?"

Undyne bares her teeth and Papyrus stands between us. "H-hey, Come On Now Both Of You, There's No Need For That! We're Here to Have Fun!" He forces a smile. Even those are cute coming from him. "Undyne, Could You Please Try To Be A Little Nicer? Like Caroline Said, The Competition Hasn't Even Begun."

"But now it's about to." The lady bunny smirks folding the papers. "It is my duty to give you the first challenge."

Papyrus and I immediately lock eyes with each other. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod" I'm so nervous I flap my hands but manage to repress my urge to jump up and down. Papyrus looks just as eager.

"Ha! You know what? You're right, Papyrus. I won't waste my breath on such a pathetic human. _This_ human" Frisk is picked up by my nemesis and I'd be worried if the kid weren't smiling so much, "and I will let our triumphs speak for themselves. Fuhuhuhuhu!"

"Listen carefully." The lady bunny speaks almost in a whisper as she takes a small, mysterious piece of yellow paper out of her pocket. "I'm about to read to you the rules of your first challenge. You must pay a lot of attention because I am not allowed to repeat the instructions. Understood?" We all nod and the energy of each one of us changes. It suddenly becomes serious and intense, full of… determination.

"Good." She grins, satisfied, before she unfolds the paper in a painfully slow way. I take a deep breath.

_Guides, just guide me please._

"Here it goes." She clears her throat. "This challenge's name is…"

Drumroll, please!

"…Snowman paddling race."

Just like in that Spongebob episode, I imagine a bunch of tiny Carolines inside my brain frantically searching for information through all the Christmas comedies I've ever watched. I don't know how to feel about the fact that the name of that challenge is the most normal thing that's happened to me since I came to the Underground.

"This challenge will take place in the River Person's river." Miss Bunny continues and looking for some kind of reassurance, I shoot a quick glance to Papyrus. His face calms me when I see a glint of recognition. "Each team must build a home-made boat, where you'll carry several snowballs made by yourselves and a snowman version of one of the members of the opposite team of your choice. However, the snowman must be half the size of your shortest team member. Creativity counts."

I vote we make a Frisk snowman.

"Both teams will have a paddling race in the river. However, the challenging part is the next… your snowman must ride with you and you must protect it at all costs! You may throw snowballs to destroy the other team's snowman. There is a big possibility that it will begin to melt since the temperature is a bit higher in the river, so being fast is important too, which is why one or both members of the team must row. You are free to choose your strategy, so you can switch places with your partner if you think it's convenient, have only one of you to row, etcetera. The team that arrives first at Hotland and with the snowman as intact as possible will be the winner."

"But what if one team arrives first and the other has a better snowman?" I slightly raise my hand, like every time I have a question at school.

"Then the judges will decide based on creativity and your overall performance." She smiles and this time I keep my never-ending list of "Ohmygod" to myself since I don't want Undyne making fun of me. "Oh! By the way, the winning team of this challenge will get two tickets for Mettaton's concert."

"Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod!" Papyrus and I bounce up and down and while we are having our little celebration, Miss Bunny speaks. "You must be at Snowdin's river, with your boat, the snowballs and your snowman in one hour, starting… " She glances down at her watch. "Right now."

"What?!" My eyes pop open and my shock increases when I see Undyne kicking the door open with Frisk under her arm and running as if her life depended on it. My mouth remains wide open but the lady bunny seems so used to it that she only lets out a tired sigh.

"Well, I wish you both teams good luck." She smiles kindly and I'm extremely glad that indeed not every monster hates humans. "Now hurry and go!"

I take Papyrus' hand and I wave as we go after Undyne and my honorary sibling. "Thank you and sorry about your door!"

"Worry Not! I'll Come Fix It After The Challenges Are Over!" Papyrus shouts over his shoulder and we're out into the cold once again.


	10. No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

We reached the Skeleton's house in a second, the previous crowd nowhere to be seen. That should have relaxed me, but it actually made me more nervous because it meant everyone was getting ready to watch us compete.

Luckily for Papyrus and I, creating a boat out of home-made items was actually a lot easier than I thought. It turns out Papyrus had a huge, old air mattress that in his opinion was too old and uncomfortable, which is why he didn't offer it to me to sleep yesterday.

He wanted it to look more elaborate since in his opinion it was 'too lazy', but I suggested we hurried and made the snowballs and the snowman, so that we could focus on creativity and details.

Neither of us was willing to sacrifice those Mettaton tickets.

"So we have everything, right? We're not forgetting anything?"

I ask Papyrus as we proudly stare at our improvised boat, the army of snowballs and, of course, our masterpiece "Freezk." It actually took me a lot less convincing than I thought for Papyrus to let me name our snowman after a pun. He said he would let it slide this time only because it sounded practically the same as "Frisk" and since it's my first time making a snowman, I should have the right to name it.

"It Seems We Have Everything, Human. I Think We Did A Fantastic Job. And We Still Have 20 Minutes Left." He grins brightly at me and back at Freezk. I honestly can't wait to tell Sans about that name. "It Was A Brilliant Idea Of Yours To Use Twigs As Their Eyes And Mouth. You Truly Captured Their Essence."

That makes me laugh way more than it should have. It seriously is a freaking copy-paste of Frisk's face and I have a hard time to stop laughing about it. "I'm not gonna lie to you, the face is one of my favorite parts, but come on! You're the mastermind behind this. You even called Frisk to ask them for permission to let us use their sweater _and_ now I know how fun it is to make a snowman thanks to you."

"N-nyeh. Thank You, Caroline" He averts my gaze and there's that cute orange glow again. "Oh! That is Right! One's First Snowman Should Never Be Forgotten. We Must Commemorate This Moment!" Papyrus takes out his phone and his smile grows.

"Oh my God, yes! You're a genius, Papyrus!" With a grin that goes from ear to ear, I stand next to Freezk. Papyrus takes the other side, leaving our snow child in the middle.

"Say ' _Freezk'_!" Papyrus says and after chanting the name of our snowy firstborn we take a selfie. I make a mental note to ask Papyrus for the photo later since my phone ran out of battery.

"We Still Have 15 Minutes, Human. Do You Wish To Get Going?"

"Sure. I think arriving early will help my nerves to calm- wait... Fifteen minutes, you say? Hmmm…" My index finger goes to my chin as I go deep in thought. There's something that would actually help me calm down my nerves even more. "Papyrus, would it be okay if I rehearse throwing snowballs, for like, two minutes?"

"Oh! That Is Right! There Isn't Snow Where You Live... Of Course, Human. Do You Want Me To Teach You?"

"That would be perfect! Thank you! We just need to find a target..." And to step away from Freezk just in case my luck or my clumsiness decide to meddle.

"That's No Problem At All!" Papyrus says proudly and with a snap of his fingers my butt meets the snow when a bone that's half my size pops out of nowhere from the ground.

"C-Caroline! Are You Alright? I'm Very Sorry, I Did Not Mean To Frighten You!"

"Oh, don't worry, I'm fine." I giggle my embarrassment away. Why is it always in front of the skeletons? "I'm a bit jumpy, that's all." He helps me up and I dust off the snow from my body. "Wow." I examine the bone. "Is this what you did when you protected me from Undyne? It's pretty cool."

He smiles. "Thank You! My Brother Can Do It Too. I Thought You Could Use Bones As Your Targets."

"Great thinking! I'll try hitting it then." I take snow from the ground and vaguely shape it. I don't put too much effort on making it a _good_ snowball, I just want to know what throwing one feels like and figure out how much strength I'm supposed to use. "Okay, snowball ready. So how do I do it?"

Papyrus moves the bone away to a reasonable distance and stands next to me. "First, Stand With Your Feet Right Below Your Shoulders, But A Little Wider Outward- Exactly! Just Like That! Now, Point This Other Foot At The Bone… Perfect! You're Almost Done! Focus On The Bone And All You Have To Do Is Throw The Snowball." He extends his arms in a "ta-daa" fashion.

"Heheh, thank you. Okay. Here it goes." Papyrus walks behind me and taking a deep breath to increase my focus on the bone, I take the shot. The snowball flies and hits the bone my skeleton friend summoned.

Or that's what I want to assume happened because my snowball merely dissolved midair. I mean, it kind of rained down on the bone so technically it touched it… right?

"N-NYE."

Not believing my ears, I blink. If there was a graphic way to describe what's going on in my mind right now, it would be this: "…"

I turn around -very slowly- only to find Papyrus covering the lower half of his face. He lets out a soft, barely audible cough, eyes smiling and twinkling.

With an expressionless face, I stare at him for a few seconds. "Papyrus." I pause. "Are you laughing at me?"

"Wha-WHAT?! Absolutely NOT! Wh-why Would You Even Suggest That, Human? Th-That's –Nyeheh- Ridicu- NYEHEHEHEHEH!"

Clutching my chest, I gasp. "Oh, so you think that was funny?" I ask him in exaggerated offense, fighting back the smile that wants to break out.

If I had to choose one thing I like of meeting new people, it would be getting to that moment when something funny happens and you actually hear their real, raw carefree laughter. Not the typical polite, social chuckle, but the beautiful, genuine kind of laugh you can't hold back. It's like meeting them for real for the first time.

Papyrus, who has gone back to covering his mouth, shakes his skull from side to side, refusing to give me an out-loud answer since we both know he won't be able to control his Nyeh's if he tries to speak. In spite of his efforts his shoulders are shaking.

"I see how it is… Okay, then I'll show you something funny!" I scrape together a tiny pile of snow from the ground and lightly throw it at him, hitting his shoulder.

His mirthful expression turns into one full of surprise and now's my turn to laugh.

Until it backfires, because then all I see is 'determination' written in bold letters in his forehead.

"Since I Am Your Teacher At Throwing Snowballs, Human…."

Uh oh.

"…Let's See If You Can Handle This!" He smirks and breaking into a fit of giggles, I run away.

"Where Do You Think You're Going, Human?" Papyrus' sweet tone of voice breaks a little through his tough-guy impersonation and something mushy and damp hits my head with so little strength that I can barely feel it.

I halt, mouth wide open, even though it makes me smile how he doesn't really use strength to hit me with snowballs. "You asked for it, Great Papyrus!"

And with this statement, the first war in the history of humans and monsters began.

A war with only snowballs. And just one monster and one human, both making sure they absolutely don't hurt or inflict the slightest amount of pain to the other.

But a war nonetheless.

"Hahahahaha! I got you again!"

"Oh No! I Won't Allow This! The Ice Warrior Papyrus Shall Not Give Up So Easily!"

I laugh as he comes after me. Bad news is I can barely move. Laughing has taken all my strength away (not that I'm a fast runner anyway).

"The student has surpassed the teacher!" I make a pathetic attempt to escape. "You will never defeat the Snow Princess Caroline!"

"If That's What You Believe Your Highness, Then I Shall Demonstrate What I Can Do!"

I hear the snow crunching behind me before I squeal as his arms surround me from behind and I'm lifted into the air. Papyrus spins me, his giggles joining mine.

"I've Captured You, Princess!"

"Okay, you win! You win! I surrender! Hahaha-Whoa!"

Our laughing is cut out as a huge pile of white mush suddenly descends over our bodies, making Papyrus lose his balance and the two of us fall. Before I can understand what just happened, Papyrus removes some snow from my head.

Puzzled, I look above me.

A pine. A pine without snow, unlike every other pine surrounding it.

So trees chose to get into the war too, huh?

"Are You Alright?"

Expecting to see a worried look on Papyrus' face, I'm about to reassure him I'm fine, except that I stop myself as soon as I see him.

My eyes meet the same mirthful gaze and smile from minutes ago and I don't even wonder what's causing his expression because I can't help but mirror it myself. Papyrus' white color makes the snow on his head look like a haircut gone wrong, and there's some even on his teeth. Needless to say, the sight is hilarious.

I try to catch my breath and snort, Papyrus staring at me wide-eyed, shocked that I would do such a thing. I don't have time to wave my hand in the air as my flag of apology, since he suddenly bursts out laughing.

"I Know I Must Look Far From Elegant Right Now, But If I'm Honest… Um…" Papyrus blushes and averts my gaze, intriguing me in the process. What's so difficult for him to say? "…Uh, You… You Make A Gorgeous Snow Princess, Caroline." He finally meets my eyes, a small, sweet smile blooming across his face as he looks at me.

Heat rises to my cheeks again.

I don't suppress it this time.

"heh, looks like someone's havin' _snow_ much fun."

My heart starts pounding like a drum. Suddenly I become painfully aware of the warmth of Papyrus' arms around me -since he hasn't removed them after protecting me from the fall-, the fact that I've been comfortably sitting on his lap, and even more, how our position must look in the tiny but evil balls of white light that his extremely inopportune brother has for eyes.

Doing everything in my power not to make it obvious by jumping away, I stay where I am and my calm face comes to the rescue, in spite of my unstable nervous system. It takes all my self-control to prevent me from blushing more.

But it's too late. Sans' smirky grin speaks volumes.

"Sans!" Papyrus greets, oblivious to his brother's villainous thoughts. "Not Even Your Terrible Puns Can Put Me In A Bad Mood Today. You Must See Our Amazing Work! Caroline And I Make A Great Team Together!" Papyrus gives me a gentle smile and my heart keeps drumming.

"oh, i'm sure you do, bro." Sans glances at me, cocky grin widening and a skeletal eyebrow going up. I'm furiously blushing and suddenly it's like high school all over again.

I face the skeleton that's volunteering as my seat. "Papyrus, I'm _so_ relieved you didn't hurt yourself _when we fell_." Speaking a little bit louder, I emphasize the last words, praying that my explanation will suffice for his brother.

I know very well it won't.

"Aw, Thank You For Worrying About Me. But It Takes More Than Just Slipping On The Snow For Me To Get Hurt. I Too Am Glad You're Alright."

"Thanks to you." I giggle a bit, the words slipping out of my mouth, and a split second later I realize the tragic mistake I just made.

_Oh crap._

"Ehem… well, Sans," I turn my head to him, smiling sweetly while making sure my eyes deliver the dangerous warning I'm hoping for, because just like I predicted, his grin is defying the laws of Physics by growing more. "We'll show you what we did for the competition." I know he receives my silent threat because he holds back a snort.

"i'd love to see it, kid, but you know... i've got hotdogs to sell and a competition to watch in…" He glances down at his phone, "…three minutes."

"WHAT?!" Papyrus and I gasp. In a second, the tall skeleton stands up, with me still in his arms.

"i guess i'll see ya there." Sans chuckles as he walks away.

"Sans, wait!" I call out but turning around the corner of some building, he disappears.

"We Must Hurry, Human! Do Not Be Mortified! I Shall Carry Everything!" He begins to walk to our things.

"Um… Papyrus?"

"Yes?" He glances down at me, his face inches away from mine.

"Could you please, um... put me down?" My voice is weaker than I meant it to be, making my mission of sounding casual a complete failure.

"Hm? OH!" Papyrus' face turns into an orange sun as puts me down immediately, but carefully. I laugh nervously, trying to reassure him that it's okay while he frantically apologizes, not that he listens because I can tell he completely avoids me by focusing on taking everything to the river and refusing my help.

* * *

My chest rises and falls. I'm panting.

I've always hated that hot burning in the lungs and throat when you run as hard as you can, especially when the air is cold. I'm lazy, sue me! But I couldn't care less about that right now.

"We Made It, Caroline." Papyrus whispers in my ear, as the crowd parts for us, their eyes curious and amused for some reason.

I know we made it on time. But then again why am I feeling so embarrassed?

I scan the area with my gaze and I find the reason behind a hot-dog stand.

Sans stupid, amused smirk. How he got here so fast is beyond me.

Uh-uh. His smirk is not completely it. There's something else in the way everyone's staring at us. In the way everyone's staring at me.

Papyrus places our 'boat' in the river, with Freezk and the snowballs onboard. Papyrus' idea of making a box out of bones to keep the snowballs was beyond useful. Undyne and Frisk are already in their own boat waiting for us, which is… a piano lid?

Of course, their snowman is a very funny and short version of myself. I would feel very honored if it wasn't for the scared face I'm sure Undyne added. You have to give her points for her creativity, she found one more way of calling me 'coward.'

Frisk sees me and I wave my hand at them as we exchange small smiles. However, mine disappears the second they cover their mouth to repress a chortle.

Why is everyone looking at me and reacting the same way?!

"J-just in time! Both teams are here!" Alphys announces. "I'll remind everyone of the rules. First…"

Papyrus helps me get into our boat while Alphys carefully reads the rules and I pray to the gods that I'm capable enough of maintain my balance and not fall.

"psst… kid." A very familiar voice whispers and I turn my head to the right only to find Sans standing at the edge of the river.

At first I think I can't afford to talk to him while Alphys is speaking because it would be very rude, especially since I'm a competitor myself, but he only throws something at me and I take the fact that I don't have a problem to catch it as a good omen.

When I look at my hands, I'm surprised and happy on equal levels.

It's my phone with full charge.

I look at Sans with the intention to mouth a big, enthusiastic 'Thank you!', but he only takes his own phone and points at it, while staring at my own phone and raising his eyebrows.

I quickly scan my surroundings. Luckily for me, everyone's paying attention to Alphys, including Papyrus. Sans motions me to hurry up and I discreetly turn on the screen only to see that I have a message.

" _just_ _ **chill**_ _and go kick some_ _ **ice**_ "

Half biting my lip in order not to laugh, I lift my head from the screen to give him a thumbs-up and he winks at me. I can't let this opportunity pass.

" _I will! And by the way, you can be proud of me. The snowman's name is_ _ **Freezk**_ _. Get it? :D_ "

He coughs to cover a laugh and walks away to his hot-dog stand. My phone vibrates.

" _that's pretty_ _**cool**_."

I follow his example, and cough to hide my chuckle. I try to breathe in slowly to relax, although I can feel the corners of my lips twitching upwards. Putting away my phone in my pocket, I go back to listening to Alphys and I realize that I'm suddenly not that worried about the competition anymore.

"…and I think that sums everything up." Alphys looks up from the paper, relieved to finally stop being the center of attention. "S-so… oars ready?" Alphys asks and Undyne and Papyrus make a spear and a bone appear, respectively.

That alone makes my breathing rapid and shallow. I can feel my pulse pounding in my temples. I was wrong, I don't think I've been this nervous in my life.

Papyrus sits in the front of our boat, with the bone he summoned. Undyne does the same with the piano lid and her spear. Frisk and I sit at the back of our ' _boats_ ' and the only thing between us and our teammates is our snowman.

My stomach shifts uneasily. Oh God, this is the _real_ war.

"May the best team win the tickets for Mettaton's concert!" The turtle man laughs. I can't believe I'd completely forgotten about that. Papyrus shoots me a quick, excited glance over his shoulder and I return it.

I feel my own energy change.

Let's kick some _ice_.

"R-ready…" Alphys seems nervous, but if you pay enough attention, you can tell she's actually excited about the whole thing. "S-s-set…."

_Okay, here it goes. You can do this, Caroline. You can do this._

"GO!"

The second the word is pronounced, Papyrus and Undyne turn into rowing machines, attaining an impossible speed in just a few seconds. My body is pulled backwards to the point of almost sliding off, and I seriously hope that I end this race with my body still dry and mi dignity intact.

"ATTACK THE SNOWMAN! NOW!" Rowing ferociously, Undyne shouts and Papyrus rows faster in response, both failing at leaving the other behind. Holding a snowball in their small hands, Frisk glances at Freezk with those linear eyes of theirs and smirks.

My butt I'll let you destroy my living pun.

Struggling upright, I snatch one of our own snowballs. "I won't let you harm our baby!" I throw the snow projectile, aiming at my snow-clone in Frisk's arms. Frisk moves at the last second like a good bodyguard, making my snowball land on their head instead.

*You warn Caroline there will be consequences for her actions

"You mean, like… winning?" I smirk, but I'm forced to swallow my words because two fast snowballs almost hit me straight in the face, if it weren't for Papyrus' cape.

"Mean older sister mode ON!"

Frisk chuckles and we unleash hell. Mush balls are flying everywhere. Not even Undyne and Papyrus save themselves. Frisk has a Master's degree at throwing these things while I struggle to keep my balance since we keep going faster, making me feel like a butterfly sanctuary has been moved to my stomach.

At this point we all look like a snowy mess and I can honestly say this is the most fun thing I've done in my entire life. Even Undyne laughs every time Papyrus and I get hit.

"AGH! Why is it taking too long? Frisk! You row!" Switching places, Undyne hands them the spear and gets ready to throw a snowball, eager to destroy our creation. I reach my hand out for another snow projectile, only to grab air.

Undyne's cruel face wears a smile, as she shows me both of her hands full of snowballs.

_Oh shit._

"Caroline, Take This!"

Papyrus throws me a large bone that I barely catch and in that moment, Undyne throws the snowbullets. Using the bone like a sword, I slash at them, managing to stop them all. A few of them with my body, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like an experienced samurai.

"You can try all you want, but you have no more ammunition! You're defenseless now! FUHUHUHU!"

I grimace. She is right, but I'm nowhere close to giving up. I have to get those tickets. My eyes search frantically, and the moment I look at the water underneath us, I hear a chorus of angels singing.

"Or maybe not!" I lift the bone and bring it down with all my strength, causing a big splash, wetting Undyne's clothes and mine in the process.

"OH NO! _Water_! What am I going to do?!" Undyne takes her forearm to her forehead dramatically, before bursting into laughter. "In case you didn't notice, coward, I get along with water just fine!"

"Maybe you do, but why don't you ask your snow friend?"

Temperature has increased and just like Miss Bunny said, our snow creations have slowly begun to melt.

Undyne narrows her eye at me and I take my jacket off to increase my mobility. "You think you are so clever? Then try stopping- UGH!"

Several huge bones hit the water, creating a series of massive splashes. I try to cover Freezk with my body, and when I feel only drops I see Papyrus covering mine.

"OHOHOHO! Now this is worth my time! I can play this game too, you punks! Help me, human!"

Papyrus and I nod to each other. This is the boss fight. Frisk abandons their post as a rower and takes their remaining snowballs in their hands, while Undyne summons a bunch of spears. Papyrus makes larger bones appear and surrounds our boat with them.

Magic does its job, and the spears and the bones float higher and higher, each monster deep in concentration. Frisk and I lock eyes. Biting my lip and holding my bone-blade firmly, I prepare for what's to come.

The spears and the bones crash down onto the water.

A wave worthy of King Neptune covers us and the increasing temperature becomes my best friend since I'm pretty sure that being entirely soaked and into the cold must be as bad as it sounds. Just when I think Freezk couldn't have possibly made it alive, I see Papyrus covered them in a cage of smaller bones.

Too bad Undyne did the same with her spears.

"Frisk, now!" Undyne's wet hair gives her a completely different look and before I can focus on that, my recently-discovered ninja skills come to the rescue to stop Frisk's melting snowballs from hitting Freezk.

Then in slow motion, I see Undyne throwing one more snowball. Papyrus tries to stop it, but it goes straight through his ribs. I try to swinging my sword at it, but it's too late and I watch in horror as my baby pun loses its melting head. My knees give in.

"YES! YES! WE DID IT, HUMAN!" Undyne cheers and strikes a victory pose. "But we must finish what we started!"

A series of spears appear again. She plans to make another wave and I realize that I have no time to grieve.

I must avenge Freezk's dead.

"This Is Not Over, Undyne!" Papyrus summons more bones. What happened seconds ago is about to repeat itself.

The spears and the bones lift high into the air. Having no more snowballs, Frisk tries to take cover behind Undyne.

Let's change the story a little bit.

"Papyrus, now!" I scream at the top of my lungs and the bones come down way faster than before.

I don't know how he does it, but in that instant he manages to create a bone barrier to protect us from the splash.

"ARGHHHHHHH!"

He moves the bones away, only for us to see Undyne doing the same with her spears. She was also quick to protect their snowman.

But not as quick, because only half of it remains.

"Now it's my turn!" Taking all her spears higher than ever before, Undyne takes a step forward.

I didn't know a thing so simple and common like a step, could make me so happy.

You would think that falling into the water could be funniest or the most embarrassing thing that could happen to you in this challenge, but she has proved me wrong.

As I see Undyne's boot slip, I know I'll never stop replaying in my head the way her body falls backwards, and certainly not the way Frisk's face distorts as they look at the final result. And especially, I will never stop replaying the moment Undyne's butt pulverizes her precious, melting token of victory.

Undyne's spears fall down into the water, without any force behind them. Horrified at what she's done, Undyne remains speechless in shock.

However, Frisk, Papyrus and I are completely incapable of doing the same.

My body moves on its own accord. Holding my stomach, I bend over in silent, hysterical laughter, until I flop onto the mattress. In the background I listen to Frisk's laugh and Papyrus' "nyes." It doesn't take long before I have trouble to breathe, but it is in these times that I know karma treats us all equally, because from this angle I can see one of Undyne's previous spears has pierced our boat.

"Papyrus, look!" Color drains from my face as I point at the imminent threat of sinking.

His eyes get huge. "Quick, Caroline! We Must Cover That! The Finish Line Is Not Far!"

Undyne's features light up and she energetically stands up, magically regaining her resolve. "HA! YES! That's what I call a spear of justice! Hurry, human! Let's row!"

Our boat begins to sink as Undyne's piano lid goes faster. "Papyrus, we have to save what's left of Freezk! It's the only way to win!"

"I Can't Carry It Human! It Will Melt! We have to abandon the boat"

"B-b-but that's impossible! If we want a chance, we have to get there first!"

Papyrus quickly looks for a solution. Half the mattress is covered in water. Finally, his eyes meet mine. "You Have To Do It For Both Of Us, Caroline. And For Freezk." He summons several bones that places in the water, like a raft.

"What? NO! Come with me! I won't let you go!"

He easily carries me and drops me on the bones that he keeps together with his magic. "I'll Meet You In The Next World…" He says solemnly, even though the water barely reaches his waist.

"NO! WAIT!" Papyrus pushes the raft with all his strength and Celine Dione's intense voice plays in my head as I see him and Freezk get lost in the distance.

_You're heeeeeeere… There's nothing I feeeeaaar…_

"PAPYRUS!" I reach my hand out for added dramatic effect, my voice ringing through the walls. I hear the weak echo of a Nyeheheh.

Surprisingly, when I turn around, I see Undyne and Frisk only a couple of feet away from me.

"Coward?! What are you doing?!"

"My team is not giving up!" Taking one bone out of the raft, I point it at her. "You murdered my first snowman… and you sank Papyrus… You and that human with you, shall answer for your actions! Heeeyaaah!" I row as fast as I can.

Undyne takes it as a challenge and water splashes everywhere as a result. But even though she tries her hardest, there are beads of sweat on her forehead.

"You're pathetic! You'll never defeat me!" Undyne growls and we both do unnecessary battle cries as the sound of cheers comes closer.

"TEN… NINE…" The crowd chants and only then it occurs to me to look up at them.

Oh. No.

"Undyne, stop!" I yell as the finish line comes to view, along with all the monster audience. If we don't slow down now, we'll turn those monsters into bowling pins.

"UNDYNE NEVER STOPS!"

"No, Undyne! _STOP_!"

Only then I get her attention and she glances up, stopping her frantic rowing.

"Move away! Move away!" I fling my arms but the monsters don't get it. In fact, they only get more excited.

"EVERYONE, OUT OF THE WAY!" Undyne roars, silencing the monsters' countdown. They finally seem to get it, because everyone begins to scream as they move to the sides, clearing the area.

"We all need to jump!"

"You're only saying that so that you can win the race, coward!"

I roll my eyes. "Forget the race! Just- WATCH OUT!"

A stalactite appears in her way, but the Head of the Royal Guard once again surprises me by taking Frisk and jumping to my bone raft in a chilling heartbeat.

I can't help but let out a scream as the raft shakes violently with their landing. Grabbing on to me, Frisk manages to keep their balance and I see my fish nemesis stumbling.

"I've got you!" I'm not lying. I've got her arm. The thing is, even though I'm grasping it, her weight pulls me down and letting out a little yelp, we both fall into the water.

My feet are starting to look for the ground, when my arms are pulled up sharply.

Eyes pressed shut and gasping for breath, I'm finally able to stand up.

"Hey. Coward, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear." I wipe the water out of my eyes, grateful that it doesn't sting.

"What did you do?"

"Hm? What do you mean-? Wait! Frisk!" I turn around sharply only to find Frisk at the finish line in Papyrus' shoulders and every monster chorusing their name. In a far wall, I see a bunch of bones and what's left of Undyne's piano lid. Thankfully nobody got hurt.

"U-u-undyne and Frisk win!" Alphys announces in a megaphone and the monsters go crazy, chanting Frisk's name even louder.

I smile at the whole scene but my heart drops a little bit.

I didn't get the tickets for Papyrus.

Just as I have that thought, Papyrus and I lock eyes. Putting Frisk down, his smile brightens and he sprints towards me. I do the same.

He helps me get out of the water and as soon as my feet touch the ground, he wraps my shoulders with a towel. It's not truly necessary, though. The weather here is a lot warmer. Still, I'm charmed at his thoughtfulness.

"Caroline! You Did A Fantastic Job! I Told You We Make A Great Team!" He beams at me, although I notice his eyes examining me, looking for any signs of injure.

"I'm sorry, Papyrus. I… I really tried." I sigh, lowering my gaze.

"What? What Could You Be Sorry About? You Were Amazing! The Smaller Human May Have Won, But You And Undyne Are On A Tie!"

"You deserved those tickets more than anyone. I-I-I promise I'll make it up to you! If we win the next challenge, I'll see if Undyne maybe wants to trade the prize, and-"

"But Caroline, I'm Not Sad Or Upset." I look up at him, searching for a sign that tells me he's lying. I don't find it. "We'll Get A Prize Next Time. Even If The Prizes Are Not Tickets For The Concert, I'm Having A Lot More Fun Spending Time With My New Friends." Placing a strand of my wet hair behind my ear, his sweet grin grows. "And I Cannot Let You Take Full Responsibility For The Results Of The Competition. We Are A Team."

The last sentence leaves me speechless. I've never been good at teamwork. I can't understand it beyond the definition of the word.

"Thank you, Papyrus."

"We'll Find A Way To Win The Next Prize. Together."

My heart feels warmer.

"Coward."

Until it doesn't... My eyes narrow. "Undyne?" I answer, facing her while slightly wrapping myself more in the towel.

"Uh... You're not making this as painfully boring as I thought you would... err, but... just know your next defeat will be crushing!"

My chin rises a fraction. Did her hate for me actually just… diminish?

I smirk proudly. "I won't stop you from trying."

"Foolish humans." She scoffs, before turning her back to me and walking away.

"N-n-now," Completely catching my attention, Alphys talks on the megaphone once more, "the second challenge is…"

"Okay, our time has come, Papyrus!" I whisper to his ear- er… skull.

Alphys spins a roulette I hadn't seen before and with a silent prayer, I watch it stop.

The picture of a microphone appears.

"…A t-t-talent show!"


	11. Unforeseen circumstances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter got longer than I expected. I hope you like it, though. Enjoy!
> 
> "Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip."

"Guys, um, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Caroline! I, The Great Papyrus, Am Always Available To Share My Knowledge And Wisdom With Those Who Request It."

"i dunno, kid… _can you_?"

"Sans." Papyrus says annoyed.

"heh heh heh. sure, kid. shoot."

"Okay." I chuckle. Can't believe I didn't see that one coming. "Um… what are monsters impressed about?"

"hm?"

"Impressed… About?"

I lift my legs a bit more than necessary as I walk in order to avoid any possible obstacles. In spite of holding Papyrus' hand and having Sans kick tiny rocks out of my way so I won't trip or fall, other than the dim light that filters through this blindfold I can't see anything.

"Yeah, I mean… floating souls and appearing and disappearing bones and spears are things you guys see every day. You're used to magic and to everyone you know having different magical skills and I can't think of anything more impressive than that, but since that's completely normal for you I was wondering… what do you find impressive?"

Papyrus hums deep in thought. I can feel his determination to give me the best answer possible, while I hear Sans kicking another rock. I'm under the impression that he made his own fun, little game out of it.

"Well, Monsters Can Be Impressed By Many Things! For Instance, We- Hold On…" He pauses. I swallow as quietly as possible. "... Is This… This Is About The Talent Show, Isn't It?" I imagine Papyrus squinting and lifting a suspicious eyebrow.

I try to deny it but I'm already chuckling at his face in my head. "Okay, you got me." He saw right through me. "Too obvious, huh?"

Since Papyrus and I had a not-so-successful 20-minute brainstorm for the talent show, he thought a small break in a pretty place he knows would be good for us. I ended up with a blindfold as he wants it to be a surprise for me. Then we happened to find Sans taking a break from work. Papyrus got "angry" (that is if you count Papyrus' adorable, Sans-exclusive, non-intimidating-at-all version of the emotion of anger) and gave him the cutest tsundere brotherly lecture on his laziness. By the time Papyrus was done, we'd already invited Sans to come along.

"a little too obvious, _tibia_ honest."

Papyrus groans in annoyance. He's such a closeted pun-lover. I, on the other hand, am openly giggling like an idiot.

"Sorry. I know we agreed not to talk about the talent show until we reached the surprise. It's just that I can't stop thinking about it and I'm starting to realize that I'm having serious problems to come up with anything useful." I sigh heavily. They only gave us two hours to prepare after all.

"it's okay, kiddo." Sans ruffles my hair and the gesture makes me feel as if he's my best friend that I've known forever. It triggers a quick dejavu to what seems like a really distant time in my life when I had human friends. "no damage done."

"I Know It Seems Like We Are Short On Ideas… Nonetheless, I Believe We Just Need To Feed Our Inspiration! Once We Arrive, I Am Nothing But Certain That We Will Come Up With Plenty Of Fresh Ideas For The Talent Show." Papyrus gently squeezes my hand and once more he shows me how kind and empathic he is.

"After All, Forget Not," I can't see but I can feel him smiling at me, "We Are Fantastic, Amazing, Incredible, Special, Unique, Fabulous, Exceptional, Wonderful, Marvelous, Brilliant Aaaaand, My Personal Favorite, GREAT Partners! Nye heh heh! Do You Not Agree?"

And just like that, after a small snort, there's a smile in my face.

"You bet we are, Papyrus." My smile turns a bit more playful. "That's a little too obvious _tibia_ honest."

"Well Said! I Couldn't Agree M- Oh No, Not You Too!"

Sans and I giggle while the taller skeleton groans. Things always seem to be way simpler and lighter around Papyrus and Sans. They must know something about life I don't.

And I've always considered myself a good learner.

* * *

As we have a light conversation, the weather slowly becomes more humid. Short moments later, I hear water rushing in the distance. This is the first time I've felt truly tempted to ruin the surprise.

Well, that and there's also a strange presence in the room that almost feels like a flower. Nothing like _that_ flower at all, so nothing to worry about.

The thing is, when I focus on the strange aura, it turns out it actually is a flower. I could have sworn there was a male energy somewhere, though.

"Before We Encounter Your Surprise, There Is Something Very Cool You Must Absolutely See Here! I Believe It Will Fill You With Inspiration!" After we leave the flower behind (there's another one ahead, I think), Papyrus stops and lets go of my hand. His tone sounds quite excited and it makes me want to just rip the blindfold off.

Holding myself back, my hands stay still on the fabric. "So I can take this off?"

"No! I Mean, Not Yet! Just Wait A Second!"

A laugh escapes my lips. "That's so not fair! You can't just tell someone with a blindfold there's something _very cool_ and expect them to happily keep it on, you know?"

"It Will Be Worth It, I, The Great Papyrus, Give You My Word!"

His footsteps quickly get away before I hear a series of splashing sounds. Completely clueless as to what his intentions are, I can't help but smile at the sound. What on Earth is he doing?

"If he doesn't hurry, I'm just going to take this off. I'm way too curious now."

"i wouldn't worry if i were ya." Sans snickers. "what kind of _ice warrior_ would keep his _snow princess_ waitin' for too long?"

For the shortest of instances, I try to figure out what sort of pun or joke that is. This time it's particularly difficult to miss the amused undertone in Sans' voice. Then a quick wave of cold shoots through my whole body, paralyzing me.

Oh no.

I open my mouth, stupidly hoping that something intelligent will come out without even thinking of something to say. The resulting babble is as predictably helpless as anyone could expect.

Now I'll never hear the end of it.

Sans laughs. Not his out-of-habit, lazy chuckle, but a loud, mischievous, belly laugh of true enjoyment at other's expense. That's Sans for you.

"boy, you're a funny kid." He struggles to keep himself from laughing. "your secret love is safe with me, tho. no worries."

"Wh-what secret love are you talking about? Th-there's no secret love!" I clear my throat, knowing perfectly well that I can't blame Sans for finding out about our snow fight nicknames because Papyrus and I were being anything but quiet. Anyone in a ten meter radio could have heard the things we were saying. Feeling myself blush, I pretend to look at the ground. Then I remember I'm wearing a blindfold.

If this were a meme, it would read _*Sans laughing intensifies*_

"How long are you going to keep laughing?" He might not see my eyes, but I'm glaring at him. I lightly smack his arm or his tummy, I don't know. I get an attempt of a mumble in response since he isn't done making fun of me. If Papyrus comes, I'll just tell him Sans is laughing at some pun.

And that would have been a good plan if Papyrus had been the one who came to my side.

A familiar and warm sensation spreads through my hand, wrapping it completely. I feel it softly tracing circles in the center of my palm, making it tingle. The feeling is quite subtle, but I've learned to recognize it. It always reminds me of a quiet but perseverant kid softly pulling their oblivious mother's hand to get her attention.

I let Sans' voice blend somewhere in the background, along with the sound of water. Distant and unintelligible. I need to focus.

" _Plank bridge."_ A peaceful, flat voice says. It sounds like it's behind me, but it's coming from within me. I'm still hearing the words, when the dim light that filters through the blindfold grows intense until the peripheral of my eyes are full of lights that turn into colors. Then I'm looking at a crystal clear, vivid scene.

I can't bring myself to pay attention to what Sans is saying. Yet I see him standing to my side as clearly as I see a wide waterfall to my left, and the resulting broad river in front of me. Boulders fall endlessly from the top of the waterfall and the current drags them to another fall, far to my right, where there are long plank bridges that join. Strangely enough, there isn't a path at the other side of them. Only a single flower with an eerie, aquamarine glow at the abrupt end.

Under the wood bridges there's nothing but a black void that silently swallows the falling boulders that somehow avoid the planks.

" _The plank bridge."_ The peaceful, flat voice repeats.

Forcing myself to ignore the fact that I'm seeing everything with better clarity than ever before in my life even though I'm blindfolded, breathlessly, I do as I'm told. Sans' voice becomes more insistent in the distance.

As I stare at the bridges, just when I don't expect anything to happen, a sudden fear of the black abyss strikes me, squeezing my heart. It is then that I notice some planks on the bridge have a faint, white glow.

And it is then that I see a horrible scene unfold.

"Very Well! Everything Has Been Set! Caroline, Are You Ready?"

As soon as my brain registers those words, everything is black again.

"hey, caroline?" I feel a hesitant hand on my shoulder. "look, kid, i said m'sorry. i didn't mean to upset ya or hurt your feelings. never thought it would, honestly. uh, if you don't like me teasin' you then i'll stop it, 'kay? uh… kid?"

My heart is beating faster and I notice my shallow breathing. Feeling as if I just woke up from a vivid nightmare, I take the blindfold off, only to find a carbon copy of the place I just saw without using my eyes.

"Wai- Aw, You Were Supposed To Wait 'Til The Count Of Three… But It Matters Not! You Can Look Around Now!" Papyrus grins at me from the middle of the river I've already seen. The boulders don't fall where he stands and the water barely reaches his shins. "So… What Is Your Opinion? Do You… Like It?"

Sans is staring at me. If he was feeling sorry a little while ago, it's completely gone now. His unwavering eyes are fixated on me, not out of confusion or concern but out of distrust, pretty much like the first time we met. A part of me thinks I should be hurt by this, but at the moment I find myself incapable of feeling anything.

"If-If You Don't Think It's Cool Enough Th-That's Alright, N-nyeh." Papyrus tries to hide a sad smile. "B-but How About You Look At This! It Might Not Be A Lot, But I Promise It Can Be Fun If You Give It A Chance! This Is One Of The Things I Wanted To Show You!" He turns around and glances at the falling boulders.

My heart sinks and it feels as if it stops beating altogether. A shiver runs across my body, making the little hairs in the back of my neck stand on end. I know exactly what happens next.

And I see the beginning of my nightmare materialize when he takes a step forward.

My body reacts before my mind does. The next thing I know, my fingers curl into fists at my sides, swinging forward as if it will make me faster. "PAPYRUS, MOVE! _MOVE_!"

He stares at me, shocked and freezing in place as I stumble my way through the water and around the boulders, desperately trying to reach him. My foot slips and I hear a dull thud when my body falls on a boulder, yet adrenaline has numbed me.

For the first time I see sheer fear in Papyrus' face.

And I understand it when I realize that even though I'm frantically trying to stand up, the boulder is pushing me away with the current.

But I'm not the one that could die today in this place.

It doesn't even take Papyrus two seconds to reach me. He doesn't stop to offer me his hands, instead, he quickly grasps mine, and my wobbly legs help him to help me stand up. But it's too late.

He pulls me close, tightly wrapping his arms around me and we fall.

You've probably heard before that adrenaline makes you perceive things much slower. Well, it's true. How long a fall of this height is supposed to last? I don't know, but not too much.

Yet I'll never forget the suffocating and extremely invasive feeling of a strange force taking ahold of what felt like the very center of my being, that took place in that impossibly short interval.

Then, in a split second, it was gone and Papyrus and I were peacefully on top of the bridge.

I've never been one to react very quickly. So when Papyrus looks at me as if he doesn't recognize me as my arms forcefully try to pull him away from one of the ends of the bridge, I actually empathize with his confusion because in this moment I can't recognize the crazy and desperate person that's controlling my body either.

"Move! Move!" Shouting but shrinking at what will happen next, I manage to get him to move a few steps. Then, his expression goes from one of concern to one of true shock when splints fly away as a boulder loudly hits the wood, breaking the bridge inches away from us.

My hands act on their own accord, clasping Papyrus' shirt as the rest of the bridge shakes and I let out a little yelp.

"Worry Not! I've Got You!" I barely register him say and as much as I hope we stay still as to avoid an eternal fall, the next instant provides me with the next horror. Not only am I reminded of my powerlessness in this world since I'm lifted as nothing but a mere doll, but I almost faint when the world around me spins as Papyrus leaps.

My torment ends with the sound of his boots meeting the ground and a soft impact. Then, absolute silence.

My eyes are squeezed shut as we let a few heartbeats pass. Out of prevention or shock, I can't tell. The world has come to a stop once more. My pulse bangs in my ears although my body has practically turned into cold stone. I'll never take the ground beneath my feet for granted.

Yet I surprise myself once again, because apparently, even though we aren't in the bridge anymore, I take the fact that the rest of it didn't fall apart as permission to switch back to non-survival mode.

Terrified and relieved on equal levels, all the strength leaves me at once. All except for my hands clasping Papyrus' shirt. We stare into each other's eyes for centuries. I think I now should loosen my grip, but the truth is I don't want to. As if I'm making sure he is not a hologram. As if letting him go would prove he's just a mirage.

_Papyrus is safe. He is here with me. He's safe._

"Caroline…?" He whispers.

Releasing a heavy breath I didn't know I was holding, I bury my face in his chest, knowing perfectly well that I might not want to do anything else for a while.

"C-Caroline! Oh My God… You…Y-You Saved Me! Th-Thank You! Oh My God…! A-Are You Alright?! Caroline?!"

"Please, please be more careful next time you come here." My voice is muffled by his shirt as I uselessly try to bury my face deeper into his chest.

A shaky finger tries to caress my hair, as if he's not sure of how to comfort me or if he should even try in the first place. I don't mind. I tell myself that if he lets me stay like this a little more, it'll be enough. This one time I'll let myself to be selfish. This one time maybe Papyrus can tolerate and deal with his own discomfort just for a little while. Not for too long but… only for a little while.

Then, all at once, he rests his chin on top of my head and holds me as tightly as I'm holding on to him.

"…I Will Be. I Promise." He whispers as he softly runs his hand through my hair. He takes a deep breath. "I'm Okay." He reassures me. "I'm Not Going Anywhere."

As soon as those words are spoken, my tension melts and my muscles relax. I let my skin enjoy the comfort of his warmth. I breathe in his scent and my heartbeat slowly begins to sooth. Papyrus still smells like pines and fresh wood.

I hear the sound of dragging footsteps approaching. It stops as soon as there's a presence next to us.

"welp. that was somethin'."

Sans' voice is difficult to read at this point. I choose not to comment on whatever exchange is happening between the skeleton brothers, which I can tell by the way Papyrus' jaw silently moves up and down on top of my head.

Taking a deep breath, I pull away from Papyrus after several moments.

At least I know my capacity of feeling is back because the distrust I saw earlier in Sans' eyes is burning in the back of my mind. The thing is, when I look at him, I glimpse a flash of concern. It's gone as soon as I see it, quickly replaced by his permanent grin.

"glad you two didn't hurt your bones."

I nod half-heartedly, not without feeling the corners of my lips twitch. "So am I."

Papyrus tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, almost as carefully as if I was asleep and he didn't want to wake me up. "How Are You Feeling?"

"A lot better, actually. Thank you." I give Papyrus' hand a light squeeze before I sigh, rubbing my arms to shake the remaining goosebumps off. "God, that was scary. At least everything turned out okay. Oh, um… sorry for freaking out like that."

Papyrus shakes his head vigorously. "Caroline, I Wish For You To Know That I Am Beyond Grateful For Your Brave Actions And You Can Be Absolutely Sure That I, The Great Papyrus, Will Forever Admire You And Will Show You My Deepest Gratitude Every Day! However, If I May Ask… How Did You Accomplish Such An Amazing Deed?!"

"Look, you're very sweet, Papyrus, but I don't want you to feel like you owe me…" I squint as I fully process his words. "Amazing deed?"

"Yes! How Did You Know The Boulder Would Fall On The Bridge?! Nothing Like That Had Ever Happened Before! You Tried To Warn Me Way Before It Even Came Into View! That Was Remarkable! Even I, The Great Papyrus, Could Not See It Coming. You Even Surprised My Brother!"

Sans' eyes then meet mine, a tiny, hidden intensity behind his otherwise lazy grin. "yup, that's true. can't blame me for bein' curious, right, kid?" His smile widens. "so, would you mind to tell us?"

I swallow. My face remains neutral as my stomach contracts into a ball and my hands follow its lead turning into fists.

"I thought those boulder things were gonna hit Papyrus. It seemed dangerous so I freaked out. That's it. Not so heroic now, huh? Look, can we go somewhere else, guys? It's cold here, maybe we should-"

"yeah, i dunno kiddo." Sans stands in front of me, blocking my route of escape, lazy smile in place. Shit. "freaking out 'cause you thought pap would get hit by falling boulders you'd never seen…? sure, i give you that. makes sense, eh? heh. but you gotta see why we're so impressed. first thing you do in the bridge is try to get pap out of a certain spot, then a boulder falls there outta the blue…?" He casually looks at the ground and shrugs. "i dunno. seems too much of a coincidence, don't cha think? if i didn't know ya better, i'd think you're just bein' modest." His smile turns into a smirk.

I knew very well that one day I would have to watch out for Sans. My throat tightens and I cross my arms.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but turns out I know as much as you do. I don't know, maybe my neurotic mind brought me luck this one time? Coincidences can happen too. You know, this was scary for me, so can we please just leave this behind?" I try to walk my way past Sans, but a gentle gloved hand on my arm stops me.

"Is It… Is It Something You Cannot Tell Us?"

I stiffen. Guilt stabs me when I see Papyrus looking at me with an expression so open and unguarded, that I forget what I'm trying so hard to hide in the first place. What I've been defending myself from, because that's what I'm doing right now. I shift my gaze from one skeleton to the other. Even Sans' smirk has faded.

I shake my head, letting out a sigh exasperation at myself. "It's not…You're not the problem, you two have done nothing wrong, okay? I promise you it's nothing bad, it's not some horrible, dark secret, so you really don't have to worry about it. Please don't take this personally, it's not that I don't trust you, it's a thing of mine that I don't know how to… handle…"

I have long explanations prepared. Thousands of diplomatic excuses that aren't necessarily lies, within the lines of ' _it's not you, it's me_ ' that I would have automatically said to any other person, any other time.

Instead, I remain quiet, completely entrapped in soft and friendly gazes that refuse to release me. Gazes so sincere, that make me feel like an impostor. Gazes that show such genuine caring that I know I was completely disarmed the moment I saw them. Whether I like to admit it or not.

"It Is Okay. We Understand." Papyrus smiles softly. "You Do Not Have To Force Yourself To Share With Us Something You Do Not Want."

"…The truth is I've been wanting to tell you." A slight surprise crosses their faces. I continue. "But, well, the story of my life. You know… Fear." I pause and shrug. "It's not something I've been able to openly say before." The pain inside my chest grows with the weight of memories of loneliness, exclusion and not belonging. I tell myself that at least, unlike all the other experiences, I know what a good idea it is to keep my mouth shut this time. Unlike all the other experiences, I know what I'm risking.

 _Yeah,_ another me answers.

"My Apologies, Caroline. We Did Not Mean To Be Insensitive. We Will Not Make You Think About This Any Longer If It Upsets You. Let Us Move On."

_Your only chance at having real friends._

Sans is about to make a funny remark, judging by the playful look he just recovered. I'm sure he wants to break the tension. Shaking my head, I interrupt him before he speaks.

"…I'll show you."

Papyrus and Sans freeze in place, blinking, completely taken aback. In their eyes, I'm pretty sure I'm officially bipolar now.

The truth is I'm so stupid. I'm so weak, desperate and pathetic that I'd prefer living a lie, if only to get a little taste of fake acceptance because, let's face it, fake acceptance is better than none. How? It's very simple: by hiding my weird, deeply flawed, boring self from the world and pretending to be someone else. And you know what? It actually works. The thing is, it ultimately doesn't matter how many people you can trick into liking you nor how many of them you can socially call a 'friend'. In the end it's as if you don't even exist because, deep down, you know very well that no one actually likes you or loves you because the truth is nobody knows you at all. It's all false, even if they don't know it. But you do. You know how unlovable or invisible you'd be otherwise. And you can be fine on the outside but the fear at the idea of others getting to know the real you will quietly follow wherever you go, along with the pain and the shame, ready to surface when the distractions are gone, every time you look at the mirror and many times in the middle of the night.

As if I don't know what that's like.

And since I know that kind of life too well, there's no way I'm letting it happen all over again. I promised myself that's a mistake I would never repeat, because it's easily the worst I've ever made. I won't allow it, especially not with Papyrus and Sans. If they're going to reject me, so be it. If they're going to distance themselves from me, so be it. Whatever it is they do, it has to be honest and real. Otherwise, I can't call them true friends. Same standard applies to me.

And that's precisely why I suddenly just need to know. To find out.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I hold Papyrus' hand. He's about to say something, but goes silent when I hold up my other hand. I let myself focus on my surroundings and his aura… the subtle energies moving around him… I see them as colors and soon the colors turn to feelings…

"Wow…"

"Wh-What Is The Matter?"

"You… you really are determined. You worked really hard to get Undyne to consider you to join the Royal Guard. You're extremely perseverant. I see you, patiently waiting for her to give you an opportunity… In fact, that's exactly what convinced her to train you. You have a very strong will... You don't give yourself enough credit for your qualities, though. You may not agree with me on this because on the outside it may seem the opposite, but the truth is that you're always demanding more and more from yourself. You secretly feel that you need to prove yourself that you are…" My voice softens. "…good enough." I pause for a moment and clear my throat. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be your best version, yet you need to know that it's okay to take some time and appreciate yourself just as you are. It's funny because you actually do this when it comes to others… it's really easy for you to appreciate them as they are and see them as unique…" I smile, feeling Papyrus' kind and sweet energy. I also feel he doesn't feel too appreciated. But I keep that last impression to myself, as I slowly take my hand back. I reluctantly open my eyes.

"I have... what you call magic, too. I'm… a psychic." I shrink and try really hard to repress the urge of pressing my eyes shut again. I fidget with my hands. "I can also talk to um, beings in the other um… side. So, while I had the blindfold, a good spirit showed me a vision. I now know Papyrus likes to come here, sometimes with Undyne, to jump on boulders and surf with the current. When the boulders fall, he somehow always lands on the bridge even though the boulder doesn't. Magic, I guess? So in my vision, I saw him jump on the only boulder that would fall on the bridge and the bridge would break and… yeah."

Pushing the picture out of my head since it's one I don't want to remember, I dare to look at the skeletons.

Their faces are completely blank. Expressionless. They don't even blink. My stomach twists and I really hope I didn't ruin our friendship with this.

Now it's my turn to be expectant as a couple of seconds that last an eternity pass.

Lies. I'm not that patient.

"I-I'm sorry if you're upset I didn't tell you before. It's only natural for you to feel this way. O-o-or maybe you don't believe me and th-that's okay too, trust me, I don't blame you because I know how odd it sounds when I say it out loud-"

"hmmmm. i guess..."

An unusually serious look takes over Sans' features as he goes deep in thought. My heart skips a beat.

"…i guess that means next time we buy you a shirt, we'll hafta get you… _a medium_ one."

I can just imagine the sparks in my brain, desperately trying to connect the dots and instead just causing a short circuit. Temporarily incapacitated, I stand as if paralyzed from the neck up, unable to comprehend what just occurred. Eye almost twitching, I stare at Sans in utter disbelief as my brain verifies several times that indeed even in this situation, his first reaction is still a really, really bad pun.

"OH MY GOD! YOU ARE A PSYCHIC!?" Papyrus' voice startles me, jolting me back to reality. I can't believe he didn't even care about the pun. "EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS RIGHT! THAT WAS- THAT IS BEYOND FANTASTIC, CAROLINE! W-WOWIE! I MUST BE SO LUCKY TO HAVE THE FIRST HUMAN I EVER MEET TO BE A PSYCHIC!" Hands glued to the sides of his skull, his gaze gleams as bright as the sun. I've never seen him so surprised, not even when he first saw me. "THIS IS- THIS IS- OH MY GOD! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY GREAT! WILL YOU SHOW US MORE OF YOUR MAGIC!? PLEASE!?"

I laugh so hard that it echoes all throughout the walls, until I run out of air and no sound comes out of my mouth. I laugh partly out of relief, partly because of Sans' priceless pun and mostly, because of how cute they both are. I suddenly feel so, so stupid for thinking they would take this any other way.

"Y-yeah, su-sure, Papyrus." I say, trying to gain control over myself back, as I wipe tears from my smiling eyes. I can't stop giggling.

"Oh, right." I try to steady my breathing. "Sorry for worrying you, Sans. I wasn't mad at you for the things you were um, saying." I shoot a quick, sideways glance to Papyrus at the end of the sentence. Sans' smirk grows and I send him a barely perceptible glare. "You didn't hurt my feelings or anything."

"i figured. no worries." He says and I'm honestly glad to see the amused spark in his eyes back. "can i ask what you thought was gonna happen when you told us?"

"Uh," I take a pause and shrug. "Worst case scenario? Honestly? That you'd think I'm a liar for not telling you since the beginning, you know, since you guys have magic and all. Or that maybe you'd be too nice to say anything but that you'd just probably think I'm…" My voice drops. "…weird."

Papyrus gasps and for a second I could have sworn Sans' sockets went completely black. I don't have time to ponder on it because the next instant, my feet are in the air and I'm choking as my body is squeezed by Papyrus' tight arms.

"Listen To Me Very Carefully, Caroline." Papyrus softly lifts my chin, slightly bending his knees to get a close and clear view of my now depressed features. His face and his voice are soft but they have way more solemnity than I ever thought Papyrus capable of. "Nothing Can Dissuade Me Of The Certainty That You Are A Good, Strong, Interesting And Admirable Person. Nothing Can Make Me Not Want To Spend Time With You. And Your Quirks And Your Past Are Parts Of You, Whatever They May Be, So When I Say I Want To Spend Time With You I Mean What I Say. And Nothing, I Repeat, Absolutely _Nothing_ Can Possibly Make Me Not Want To Be Your Friend."

A lump settles in my throat and I uselessly blink really fast to prevent water from appearing in my eyes.

"hate to break it to ya, kid, but ya know what they say: _if a monster you befriend, only love they will send_ " Sans winks.

Wiping small tears from my eyes, I smile at my two friends. I nod.

Not trusting myself to speak, I mouth a shaky ' _Thank you,_ ' before throwing my arms around them.

Never has a hug been so comforting in my life. Not only for the fact that these skeletons want to give themselves the chance to know me because they truly believe I'm a valuable person and worth having as a friend. It's extremely comforting because, for the first time in who knows how long, I'm actually opening up to the small possibility that maybe they're right. That maybe, if only maybe, I'm not as worthless, flawed, boring, undesirable and as weird as I think I am. That maybe I was wrong. That maybe I'm not the defective product of the factory. That maybe, just maybe, I can start seeing in the mirror half of what they see in me.

And maybe I deserve to give myself a chance too.

I step back, with a newfound smile in my face.

"So, um, you wanted me to show you more of my um, magic, Papyrus?"

His sockets light up twice as before. "DO YOU MEAN IT?"

I nod, hiding my lips and repressing a snort.

"heh. cool. so what more can you do, kid?"

Finally my turn to smirk.

* * *

We play all kinds of games. I discover a secret room behind the waterfall, where Papyrus had written ' _HELLO, CAROLINE!_ ' in the dirt. I actually kind of messed up the surprise, because before the whole bridge incident he had intended for me to go to the flower at the end of the bridge (I now know those are called echo flowers) and I would hear his voice telling me to go behind the waterfall. At least Papyrus thought it was really cool that I didn't need to hear the flower to discover the place.

Sans asked me if I could describe what the monster that piled the falling rocks was like. Both he and I were surprised when I skipped the descriptions and simply stated the name of my fish nemesis, which only made Papyrus happier and more excited.

After that it just got better. We went back to Snowdin to play hide and seek. Sometimes I would only get too close to find them but they would count it as a victory for me anyways, while other times all we could do was laugh nonstop because one of us would slip on the ice and give their position away in the process, or someone would try to ruin the other's hiding place (like Sans did with me when we hid from Papyrus by throwing me a snowball). Later, though, I guffawed when Papyrus made huge bone arrows hover above Sans to avenge me. Even the little dinosaur kid I saw before joined us in the game and after that all my efforts focused on not peeing myself as I had to deal with puns, practical jokes, contagious giggles, snow fun and lots of games I hadn't played since I was a little girl.

And as I sit between Papyrus and Sans eating Nice Cream, a revelation comes to me. Understanding suddenly dawns upon me and I finally get it. What monsters know about life that I don't.

And that is that to monsters life is exactly like an ice cream. And I think they are right. The main and only purpose is to enjoy it and taste it to the utmost whatever the flavor, it's always better when you share it with friends, it feels good to look forward to the next experience without fear for a newer and richer one, there's always new flavors, you have to eat it before it melts but it's not a good idea to eat it too fast, and you can never EVER add too many sprinkles.

And, of course, rule number one.

Don't forget to turn _ice_ into _nice_.

"You know? You were right. I really did have nothing to worry about."

Papyrus smiles at me. "I Am Very Glad To Hear That, Caroline."

Feeling warmer inside, I return the smile and take one more sweet bite. I promise myself to remember to eat ice cream more often.

"well, nothing maybe, except for the talent show."

I freeze in place, feeling my stomach drop and Papyrus and I lock intense gazes, gaining a laugh from the dinosaur child as my Nice Cream sadly falls to the snow.

"THE TALENT SHOW!"

"THE TALENT SHOW!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? The ending was really funny to me, I have to admit it. In my head, at least.  
> I hope you are doing great :) and please, please, don't forget to have fun wherever you are.
> 
>  
> 
> Gelasia_Kidd Thank you! I'm glad you've liked the story so far. More squishy fluff coming!  
> UltimateGamer101 I just answered to you in fanfictionet lol Thank you for your reviews! :D Oh, and the reason why they aren't considering dancing is because Papyrus is saving that for the Mettaton fanclub


	12. If it is not Baroque, why fix it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! You have no idea of how much I struggled to write this. I haven't been feeling like myself lately and I really don't like mood swings, but I finally found an idea that felt right after writing four different versions of this chapter. I was surprised to see that a lot of you guys chose option C (fluff with feels) for the poll (honestly I was surprised and happy, because that's what 90% this fanfic is going to be like) and I'm so sorry to disappoint you but every time I tried to write something along those lines for this chapter, I felt like it ended up a little boring and I was never completely convinced of the way it was written. I also wanted to add some feels but in the end it didn't feel right (badumtss). Don't worry, there will be plenty of fluff and emotions in the next chapters. I promise you a different kind of feels in this chapter, though   
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> I'm not saying I'm 100% satisfied with how this turned out but this idea has been playing in my mind for a while and I couldn't resist to try it out when it finally occurred to me how to adapt it for the talent show. I could write a whole new fanfic out of this idea hahah.
> 
> I hope this chapter isn't boring for you, since it kept getting longer and longer. I usually make my chapters around 10 pages more or less and this one is 20 pages and a half. So be ready.
> 
> Also, thank you so much for participating in the poll! I loved reading your comments and seeing your answers! Everyone was so nice.
> 
> And before I shut up and let you go, there's one thing you need to know to read this chapter: the male version of the name Belle is Beau.
> 
> Personal replies at the end of the chapter!
> 
> Enjoy!

"So? What Do You Think, Caroline?"

"I know you said Mettaton's hotel was kind of fancy but… wow, this restaurant's really nice." Papyrus chuckles, pleased with my answer, and I can't help but stare in awe at the whole place. It seems I'll never stop being surprised at the Underground. Right when I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, something completely unexpected shows up. Like this. Considering all the environments and architecture I've seen, it's difficult to conceptualize them all as part of the same place.

There are soft purple tables that match the walls and I'm entranced by the flickering candles on them and the way they illuminate the tiled floor as well as the large, extravagant plants that decorate the walls. There is a bright red stage for everyone to see near the entrance as a relaxing piano melody plays in the background, completing the elegant and romantic atmosphere. It's a perfect place for both company and solitude. And monsters seem to agree with me because there are groups, couples and individuals occupying the tables. This place is perfect for friendship, romance and aloneness. I instantly know that if love at first sight exists, this is it.

I'm so enchanted by it all that for a split second it almost feels like a dejavu. My heart aches a little. There's a melancholic undertone to this place too. "So here's where the talent show will take place, right?"

"Exactly! I'm Sure Everyone Will Love Our Act!"

"God, I hope so. I wish they'd given us more time to prepare, but for once I can't blame it on the time." I giggle. "Every second was worth it, though."

"That Is Correct! But Since We're Ready In Spite Of The Inconveniences And Distractions, This Obviously Shows How Incredible We Are!" He playfully winks at me.

Papyrus is wearing an elegant white shirt, a black vest and bow tie. A nice guy entirely made of fire let him borrow all of it. Grillby was his name, I think.

The attire is manly, sharp-looking and well-fitted. It perfectly suits Papyrus' tall, athletic form.

I'm alarmed at the butterfly fluttering inside my chest when he winks at me.

"T-true. I think they'll like our act t-too." I refuse to discuss this with myself right now.

"But still I'm still very nervous." _Terrified,_ really. "Very excited too, I won't lie about that, but…" My eyes trail to the stage "…nervous."

"Caroline."

"Hm?" I look back at him and the moment my eyes meet his, the same wave of kind and warm energy I felt the first time I met him reaches me.

"It's Normal To Be Nervous." Completely unaware of my inner world, Papyrus touches my shoulder and it only makes the energy grow. "Please Do Not Feel Pressured. I, The Great Papyrus, Will Be With You In Every Step Of The Way And Whatever The Result, We've Both Done Our Best And That's All That Matters, So Fear Not!" He grins. "Although I'm Sure You'll Do Greatly, N-nyeh..."

My lips curl and the butterfly inside me flaps its wings faster. "That actually helps. Th-thank you." I avert his gaze for a split second. What the heck's wrong with me? "A-and just so you know, this has been really fun and special for me too."

"A-a-attention, everyone." Alphys announces on the stage, a microphone in her hands. "The t-talent show will begin n-n-now. P-please enjoy."

You know what? Maybe I should take the opportunity and ask Alphys to let me publicly announce my new book series called " _I've got this and everything will be fine_ " in which I talk about self-deception and its consequences.

* * *

_This will be over soon. Yes, pretty soon. It can't last long… right? Okay, don't answer that, Caroline. DON'T answer that. Breathe. Keep breathing. Just focus on the air coming into your lungs. Nothing bad is going to happen. This will be over before you realize. Anytime now. Yes, that's right._

I hear a chorus of extreme surprise spread across the crowd.

 _Focus. On. Breathing_.

"Undyne's Amazing! I'm So Glad To Be Trained By Her! Caroline, You're Missing Out All The Fun! Are You Sure You Don't Want To Watch This?"

"Mm hmm." I nod, squeezing my eyes tighter even though my hands are already covering them. I've been backstage before, but it had never been this stressful.

Sans chuckles lowly. "you should take a look at your competition, kid."

"I'm very sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to leave that to Papyrus." I say as I think of the times I believed my mom was being over-protective. When I see her again, I'll be way more understanding.

All of a sudden, everyone grows quiet.

_Hm? Is it… over?_

I hesitantly remove my hands, only to commit self-betrayal in its purest of forms.

Not only do I find exactly what made me close my eyes in the first place, which is Frisk with their back against a huge bull's-eye in the wall. Now the nightmare's come to life and the least of my worries are the spears at the sides of their neck and above their head.

My whole focus is solely on the now spinning bull's-eye Frisk is strapped to.

And it seems I'm right on time for the grand finale.

Unable to look away, I watch in horror as a series of spears, one by one, trace a perfect silhouette around a quickly spinning Frisk who has the tiniest smile playing at their lips.

Before I can scream, faint, operate on a basic level or better yet, die, one last spear completes the small silhouette and as soon it lands, the audience and even Papyrus erupt in cheers and wild applause.

As flowers are thrown onto the stage, blood drains from my face and then the true horror presents itself when I see Undyne removing a blindfold from her face.

"show's over. you can look now, kid. too bad you missed-" Sans looks to me and a second after his eyes meet mine, he smiles, amused. "hey, look at ya. facin' your fears and going all brave all of a sudden. i'm prouda ya, kid."

We both know my so called _bravery_ can only be the result of a terrible and very, very stupid mistake. I can tell he expects me to say something but the truth is my mind is set on one thing and one thing only.

_No one, absolutely NO ONE, turns my little Frisk into a human bull's-eye AND gets them to have fun while at it!_

The curtain slowly closes after Undyne and Frisk bow to the still excited audience, only for them to come our way backstage, looking proud.

Irritatingly proud.

"Undyne, Human, I Must Congratulate You! You Did An Outstanding Job Out There!" Papyrus gives the two of them a high five. Frisk smiles, cocky and satisfied, and I make a mental note to ground them when we go back home. "I Acknowledge You As Worthy Rivals Of The Great Papyrus And His Great Teammate, Caroline!"

"Pfft! Puh-leaze!" Undyne waves her hand dismissively. "As if a _coward_ will ever be in my category."

I open my mouth and my reply is interrupted by Alphys' very flustered voice through the microphone. "That… That was- that was- _whew_ , _WOW_ …" There's a dreamy sigh, followed by a prolonged silence. A monster coughs. "…Oh! Ahem! Um, n-now l-l-let's hear it for Papyrus and C-caroline!"

My gut twists at the sound of mild applause.

"Seems like it's your turn, coward. Break a leg, like they say." Undyne grins maliciously, showing me all of her sharp teeth. "I can always help you with that if you want."

Looking slightly bored, yet repressing the urge to swallow, I roll my eyes. "I know I should have taken an aspirin. Maybe then you'd go away. Now, if you excuse us." Holding my head high, I grab the hand of a concerned Papyrus and walk past her. At this point it should be obvious that his plan of Undyne and I becoming friends during the challenges has sadly failed. Who am I kidding? Even though I usually believe that nothing's over 'til it's over, this plan was doomed from the start. I catch a glimpse of Frisk stifling a smile, amusement written all over their little, arrogant face.

Yup, it's decided.

I'm gonna ground them.

And as I mentally vow to personally ensure that Frisk has a shitty wi-fi for the rest of their life, I'm abruptly brought back to the present when Papyrus whispers a quick "Good Luck" to me and lets go of my hand in order for me to sit on the red divan at the center of the stage.

I force my legs to move and as soon as I sit down, my whole body tenses. Cold sweat moistens my palms.

Papyrus and Sans give me a quick thumbs up from backstage that I return with a strained smile. My heart leaps when the curtain opens.

_Maybe I should have convinced Papyrus to just dance a song._

Then a beautiful piano melody that I know a little too well begins to play in the background…

" **once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young skeleton princess lived in a shining castle."** Sans' reads, his low voice clearly heard through the speakers in the room.

Swallowing my nerves, I force myself to look as confident as possible as I pretend to vainly look at myself in a hand mirror Papyrus gave me, making my best to ignore the fact that the best costume we could get in such a limited amount of time, is a small board hanging around my neck that reads ' _Skeleton Princess_ ', my hair in a bun and and a plastic crown on my head.

" **although she had everything her heart decided, the princess was selfish, spoiled and unkind."**

In that moment, Kid walks onto the stage and bows as my servant, only for me to look the other way and nonchalantly wave him off.

" **but then, one winter's night, an old skeleton beggar came to the castle.** "

I look at Papyrus dragging his feet as he approaches me, pretending to have a crooked back. He's using Frisk's stick as cane and his scarf/cape covers his body and face.

How the heck am I supposed to survive the whole play without laughing?

"SKELETON PRINCESS!" He kneels right before me. "PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! I AM POOR AND EXTREMELY COLD IN THIS WINTER'S NIGHT!"

I cough, stifling a laugh, yet for some reason this only makes me look disinterested and bored.

"O-OF COURSE! MY APOLOGIES, YOUR HIGHNESS. I WILL GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT." He clears his non-existent throat and I wish I could do the same but I don't trust myself not to burst into uncontrollable laughter. "PLEASE ALLOW ME TO SHELTER MYSELF IN YOUR CASTLE! HOWEVER, YOU MUST KNOW THAT A SINGLE ECHO FLOWER IS ALL THAT I, THE GREAT SKELETON BEGGAR! HAVE TO OFFER YOU IN RETURN."

I look the other way, biting the inside of my cheek. Hard.

It doesn't work.

"Pfft- pfffft! hAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Nonetheless, I suspect the stars and planets must be aligned in my favor or something because judging by the crowd's reaction, the tears coming out of my eyes and my inability to stop laughing only makes it seem like a very realistic mocking towards the _Great Skeleton Beggar_.

"You- you… pfft! Hahah…! You want to stay here in _my castle_?! In exchange for a simple _ECHO FLOWER_?! Please, this is a place for royalty and beauty! Get out of here!" Disgusted, I stand up, pointing a finger to an imaginary door.

"I SHALL WARN YOU! DO NOT BE DECEIVED BY APPEARANCES, SKELETON PRINCESS! COOLNESS AND BEAUTY ARE FOUND WITHIN."

Knowing there's still danger for me to explode laughing, I take advantage of the fact that I can pretend not to want to look at Papyrus. "Ugh! Get out of my sight!"

" **when she dismissed him again, repulsed by his haggard but, uh,** _ **cool**_ **appearance, the old skeleton's ugliness melted away to reveal a handsome wizard."**

I dramatically cover my mouth, matching the massive gasp that spreads through the audience. Papyrus removes his cape and throws away his 'cane', and when he does, he has a magician's hat, a fake mustache, and a magic wand (a bone painted black with one of the tips white).

I kneel clasping my hands together. "Please you must forgive me! O- of course you belong here with r-royalty! I'll gladly take the echo f-flower-!"

"ITS TOO LATE NOW, SKELETON PRINCESS! I HAVE SEEN THERE IS NO LOVE IN YOUR HEART! AND I MEAN YOUR HYPOTHETICAL HEART BECAUSE YOU TOO ARE A SKELETON. I WILL NOW PUNISH YOU! NYEHEHEH!"

"No! Please! NOOO!"

He flicks his 'magic wand' like a cute little boy who watched Harry Potter for the first time, and I dramatically cover my face to hide my grin.

I stumble backwards, the spotlight follows my steps, until I let myself fall back on the divan.

" **as a punishment, he transformed her into a hideous…"** There's a pause that at first I think Sans does for dramatic effect, until I hear a faint snicker. **"…into a hideous human."**

I don't know if I'm more offended at Sans' not so faint snickers or at everybody's horrified gasps when I throw away the small board on my neck that reads ' _Skeleton Princess_.'

" **pfft heh… ashamed of her** _ **humanoid**_ **form, heh"** _Oh you're so gonna pay for this Sans_ , **"the princess concealed herself inside her castle."** With Papyrus gone from the stage, I bury my face in my hands, while loudly sobbing.

" **the echo flower he offered, was truly an enchanted echo flower. if she could learn to love another and earn his love in return, by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. if not she would be doomed to remain… a human for all time."**

We all listen to a muffled snort but not for long because it's soon interrupted by surprised exclamations and I hear some _Oh no's!,_ _how terrible's_!, and even one _Poor skeleton princess!_

Yeah, you know, it's not like there's a _real_ human in front of you.

" **as the years passed, the story was spread and distorted. she fell into despair, and lost all hope…"** There is something particularly somber in the way Sans reads those last words. It's so subtle that I wonder if I imagined it. **"for who could ever learn to love… a human?"**

The lights go dim, only for claps to fill the room and I hurry to leave the stage so we can move on to the next part, exhaling once I'm out of sight. Kid, the adorable dinosaur, and his friends quickly take away the divan. Since they wanted to be on the same stage as Undyne and get the chance to be noticed by her, we got them to help us, and the next time I look, the spotlight is already shining on Papyrus.

He no longer has the fake mustache, nor the magician's hat. Instead, he has a light blue vest, and Grillby's apron and white shirt.

He clears his throat and as I take my phone out to videotape the awesomeness I know comes next, horrified, I realize it's screwed from when I fell into the water.

Music begins and Papyrus inhales deeply. " _UNDERGROUND, IS A QUIET VILLAGE. EVERY DAY LIKE THE ONE BEFOOOORE. UNDERGROUND, FULL OF LITTLE MONSTERS, WAKING UP TO SAY…_ "

A bunny kid with a fake mustache sticks his head out from behind a cardboard bush. "Bonjourn!"

Then another. " _Bonjourn!_ "

"Bonjour!

"Bonjour!"

"Bonjour!"

Papyrus walks, proudly. " _THERE GOES THE SPIDER WITH HER TRAY LIKE ALWAYS! THE SAME SPIDER DONUTS TO SELL!"_

A cat-looking girl in a spider costume runs next to him with a tray.

" _EVERY MORNING JUST THE SAME, SINCE THE MORNING THAT WE CAME TO THE SMALL-SIZED UNDERGROUND!_ "

The cat-looking girl stands beside Papyrus. "Good morning, Beauttaton!"

Um.

Yeah.

Did I mention we're doing Mettaton's version of the movie?

"GOOD MORNING, MADMOISELLE!"

"Where are you off to?"

"TO DESIGN PUZZLES TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! I JUST FINISHED A LABYRYNTH THAT-"

"Yeah, that's nice- Muffet! The spider cider! Hurry up!"

" _Now is no wonder that his name means 'handsome'_ " Four of children sing. " _His looks have got no parallel_!"

Papyrus genuinely smiles at those lines.

" _But behind that fair façade, I'm afraid he's rather odd. Very different from the rest of us!_ "

" _He's nothing like the rest of us!"_

" _Yes different from the rest is Beauttaton_!"

The children quickly leave and Papyrus stands alone on the stage, the spotlight focusing on him once more. You'd have to be completely blind to not notice how much he's enjoying himself.

" _I WANT ADVENTURE IN THE GREAT WIDE SURFACE! I WANT IT MORE THAN LIFE CAN TELL!_ " He takes his hand to his chest, looking passionately into the distance.

I touch my warm cheeks. _What on Earth-?_

" _AND FOR ONCE IT MIGHT BE GRAND, TO HAVE SOMEONE… UNDERSTAND."_ He fondly looks at an echo flower, only for the petals to be taken by a subtle wind that comes from a fan in the floor _. "I WANT TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUAAAARD!_ "

The song slowly comes to an end and the lights disappear, allowing him to leave the stage, this time towards where I am, while claps and cheers fill the room.

"Oh my God Papyrus! That was AWESOME!" I beam at him quietly.

"I-It Was?!" He grins and it's like a wave of relief hits him.

I nod excitedly.

" **and so, beauttaton goes to the palace to ask the ruler, but not yet king, to let him join the royal guard."**

"Oh!" My eyes widen and I give him a quick hug. "You're still next! Go, go, go! Good luck!"

After Papyrus' grin widens and he straightens himself, he walks heroically onto the stage only to find...

Oh yeah.

Before that, here's a little heads up. The thing is with the lack of actors and time and all…

We kinda added a little bit of another Mettaton movie.

"OH! IT IS YOU! _LORD FARQUAATON_!"

Papyrus kneels like a knight before Kid, who instead of a fake mustache, this time has a plastic crown and Papyrus' red scarf/cape.

"LORD FARQUAATON, I HAVE COME TO HUMBLY ASK THAT YOU TO ALLOW ME TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!"

"Hmmm… you? Join the Royal Guard? Ha! I don't think- Oh, wait…!" Finding it extremely cute that he tries to speak in a much lower voice than he has, Kid goes deep in thought and I know we made the right choice by casting him as Lord Farquaaton, and basically every other support role. "I know! You first shall prove your bravery and only then I will let you join the Royal Guard!"

"BUT OF COURSE, I, THE GREAT PAP- _BEAUTTATON_! AM READY TO PROVE MYSELF! I WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU!" Papyrus lowers his head solemnly.

"Very well! You shall find and rescue the beautiful Skeleton Princess and bring her to me!"

Papyrus' jaw opens wide. "THE LEGENDARY, BEAUTIFUL SKELETON PRINCESS?! THE ONE THAT'S KEPT IN A CASTLE GUARDED BY A TERRIBLE- But Also Very Cute And Not Ugly At All- HUMAN?!"

My hands cover my grin and my heart skips a beat. That was _so_ _not_ on the script.

"Yes, that same one. Bring her to me and prove yourself worthy to join the Royal Guard!"

I get to see the cutest view as the crowd looks extremely convinced with Papyrus' and Kid's acting, but the cherry on top of the cake is the lady dinosaur with red lipstick in the distance taking a photograph of them with her feet.

Papyrus stands up. "JUST WAIT FOR ME, LORD FARQUAATON! I SHALL RETURN WITH THE BEAUTIFUL SKELETON PRINCESS! MY NOBLE QUEST NOW BEGINS!"

And with that, Kid gets off the stage and Papyrus pretends to run without moving from the same spot.

In the background, a bunch of kids dressed in black run from one side to the other, carrying big pictures (painted by themselves!) according to Sans' narration, **"so, it was he, beauttaton, who would chance the perilous journey, through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking his life and limb, to reach the human's keep."**

Papyrus sort of moon-walks and the ninja kids place a very cute hand-painting of a castle a little ahead of him.

" **he climbs to the highest room of the tallest tower..."**

Papyrus finally stops, pretends to climb and enter the castle, his sockets roaming around the room.

"… **but nobody came."**

"STRANGE… THE PRINCESS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE…"

"Allo."

Papyrus jumps, startled by the chorus of actual screams and horrified gasps that echo through the room.

Well, thank you for that.

He spins on his heels, only to find me with my hair loose, wearing the green cloak he gave me, ragged jeans and a white blouse.

His sockets widen in fear. "OH NO! THE EVIL AND CUTE HUMAN!" I bite my cheek and his expression turns determined. "WHERE IS THE PRINCESS?! I, THE GREAT BEAUTTATON, WON'T ALLOW YOU TO CAUSE HER ANY MORE PAIN!" He unsheathes his sword (cough, cough- a long bone –cough, cough) and points it at me.

"Do you want to know what happens to brave, well-meaning skeletons that come to the abode of the dangerous human to the save the princess…?" I slowly take a step forward and with a finger I barely touch the sword. Papyrus drops it away, gasping exaggeratedly.

"I-I WILL NOT GIVE UP! T-TELL ME… WHERE IS THE PRINCESS?!"

I smirk. "I chill them to the bone…" Papyrus genuinely frowns, making the scene more intense, and I can tell he's repressing a groan. "Now, you shall suffer the consequences-!"

"M-mistress, wait!"

Kid comes in, jumping instead of walking, now wearing a costume of a little cup.

The most adorable cup I've ever seen in my life.

"Ugh! You have the worst timing! What do you want, Chipttaton?"

"Mistress, um, have you thought that perhaps this skeleton could be the one to break the spe-"

"Skeleton." I cross my arms turning to an exaggeratedly shocked Papyrus. I hide my lips. Don't. Laugh. "Listen to me. I won't hurt you."

"YOU… YOU WON'T?" His sockets light up. _DON'T. LAUGH_.

"You'll be my prisoner. Forever. This whole castle will be your prison, but you can't go to the west wing. Escape, and you'll be food to the wolves."

His sockets widen. I stand in front of him, managing my most evil look, but it must look ridiculous, considering Papyrus is a lot taller and is looking down at me.

"IT MATTERS NOT!" Much to the monster's surprise, instead of fear, a determined look takes over his features. "I HAVE COME TO SAVE THE PRINCESS, SO I WOULD NEVER LEAVE WITHOUT HER! I WILL FIND HER AND SAVE HER FROM YOU!"

There are a few cheers from the monsters. Pursing my lips, I stare coldly at him. "Is that so? Then I hope you enjoy disappointment."

Spinning on my heels, I flap my cloak, dramatically walking away, only for the lights to slowly turn off, leaving the monsters in a silent shock.

When the lights go back on, the divan is behind me and I'm now pacing back and forth on the stage, rubbing my temples.

"Mistress?"

I ignore Kid.

"So... you fall in love with him, he falls in love with you and - poof - the spell is broken. We'll be monsters again by midnight!"

I laugh darkly. "Oh, it's not that easy, Chipttaton. These things take time."

"But the echo flower has already begun to wilt."

With a frustrated groan, I stop pacing and pinch the bridge of my nose, exhaling exaggeratedly. "It's no use. He's so handsome, and I'm... well, _look at me_!"

I motion to my body and I swear I hear the faintest of snorts on the microphone.

"Aw, mistress. You must help him to see past all that."

"I don't know how." I say begrudgingly.

"Hmmm… maybe you could-"

"Mistress! Mistress!" A bunny-girl dressed in yellow jumps into the scene with turned off candles tied to her ears. "The skeleton! He's heading towards the west wing!"

I gasp. "What?! 'll show him!"

We quickly leave as Papyrus enters the stage, pretending to inspect the place.

"HMMMM, I MUST FIND THE SKELETON PRINCESS. IF THIS PLACE IS FORBIDDEN, THIIS MUST BE WHERE THE HUMAN HID HER… WAIT, WHAT IS THAT?"

On a table a few steps away from him, there's a shiny echo flower within a glass covering. Intrigued, Papyrus tilts his head. He comes closer. With extreme curiosity and care, he extends his hand to lift the delicate jar as if it would shatter to the touch and no one dares to breathe-

"I warned you not to come here!"

I slam the glass jar back on the flower, causing Papyrus to flinch. _SORRY._ "Do you realize what you could have done?!" Growing angry, I embrace it.

"I DIDN'T MEAN-"

"Get out!" I furiously command. " _GET OUT_!"

And with that, a panicked Papyrus pretends to jump out the window. The crowd is as shocked as ever as I shake my head with fake regret and leave the stage. Panting, Papyrus runs without moving from his same spot. I bite back a smile when a background of a cute forest is set by the ninja kids.

Then, wolf cries are heard before a strangely cute, catchy song, with rhythmical barks plays in the background.

There's an extremely realistic look of sheer horror in Papyrus' face. The monsters are terrified and for a split second, it gets even me nervous.

" _NOO! PLEASE! NOOOOOO!_ "

Then the wolves come into the scene.

Happily wagging their tails, three adorable white pomeranians bounce straight to Papyrus. He desperately runs faster even though he doesn't move an inch from where he is, until the dogs leap at him and excitedly lick his leg.

" _MY PRECIOUS CALCIUM_! NOOO! PLEASE, STOP!"

Unable to run, Papyrus lets himself dramatically fall, which only allows the dogs to also lick his feet and one even licks his face, stopping to occasionally pant.

"ALAS, POOR BEAUTTATON!" Papyrus says severely looking upwards.

"Hey, doggies!"

The dogs turn their heads to me, ears pricking forward. You have no idea of how grateful I am that I don't have to hide the huge grin that's plastered in my face.

I pat my legs before crouching. "Come here, buddies!"

The dogs excitedly run to me, tongues lolling out of their mouths and I sit on the ground. They pile up to be pet and once I do, I throw a stick they go after and they leave the stage.

I have to get myself out of my adoration daze, as I see Papyrus standing up and quietly staring at me.

For a second I'm confused and then feel awful remembering I was supposed to be 'bitten.'

"Oh." I hold my hand to my chest. "…I feel… so… weak…"

Papyrus gasps as I pass out.

"HUMAN?!"

I can't fight the heat that rushes to my cheeks in anticipation.

" **beauttaton took the weird kid back to the castle."**

_WTF, Sans?_

Then Papyrus' arms easily and gently lift my body bride-style.

Despite my desperate efforts, I can't focus on anything that isn't my head resting against his chest.

Papyrus' warmth leaves me as he carefully places me down on what I know is the red divan. I flutter my eyes open, groaning a little.

"THANK GOODNESS YOU ARE OKAY! I WAS WORRIED SICK! I'M SORRY, EVIL AND CUTE HUMAN. YOU SEEMED SO SAD ABOUT SOMETHING HAPPENING TO YOUR ECHO FLOWER THAT I LEFT THE CASTLE TO GET YOU A NEW ONE AND APOLOGIZE TO YOU BUT IT SEEMS I HAVE FAILED... WORRY NOT! I, THE GREAT BEAUTTATON, WON'T CONTINUE ROAMING AROUND YOUR CASTLE. IT WAS VERY RUDE OF ME! I WILL FIGURE OUT A WAY TO FIND THE PRINCESS WHILE ALSO BEING RESPECTFUL OF YOUR HOME. PLEASE GET SOME REST."

I open my mouth, but Papyrus has already left the scene. Puzzled and frowning just to prevent myself from smiling, I sit down and rub my temples.

"OH! BY THE WAY…"

I pretend surprise as he comes back.

"…THANK YOU. FOR SAVING MY LIFE."

My eyes widen even more. "You're..." I muster a tiny smile. "You're welcome… Thank you too for saving my life."

I think Papyrus is an awesome actor because I'm sure I'm not the only one that sees the orange glow in his skull before he leaves.

" _Awwwwwww._ " The monsters have soft gazes and sadly for me I can't hide my blushing face, because the spotlight focuses on me and my stomach flips.

Aaaand the music starts.

DON'T PANIC. DON'T' PANIC. DON'T PANIC.

" _There's something sweet."_ I sing, relieved that my voice doesn't tremble. " _And almost kind. But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined!"_ For a second, the irony that I'm doing a musical number with the skeleton that wanted to capture me when he first met me, hits me. _"But now he's dear and so unsure, I wonder why I didn't see it there befooore._ " I smile to myself.

Then the lights illuminate the whole stage and Papyrus and I go towards each other.

"Beauttaton, um… there's something I, uh, want to show you. But first, you have to close your sockets. It's a surprise or… you know, whatever." I say tsunderely.

Papyrus pretends to look at me suspiciously, before he closes his sockets. I wave my hand in front of him, giving the ninja kids time to place everything on the stage. Then I take Papyrus' hands and we advance a couple of steps.

"All right." I grin eagerly. "Now."

He opens his eyes and his face instantly lights up seeing the entire stage filled with-

"PUZZLES?!" Papyrus gasps. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY PUZZLES IN ALL MY LIFE!"

"You… you like it?"

"IT'S WONDERFUL!"

"Then… it's yours."

Papyrus takes his hands to the sides of his skull. "OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

While I pretend to be flustered, Papyrus gallantly steps to the front while switching his focus from the puzzles to me.

"S _HE GLANCED THIS WAY... I THOUGHT I SAW. AND WHEN WE TOUCHED SHE DIDN'T SHUDDER AT MY BONES! NO IT CAN'T BE… I'LL JUST IGNORE… BUT THEN SHE'S NEVER LOOKED AT ME THAT WAY BEFOOOOORE._ "

Silently clearing my throat, I shyly walk away from him.

"N _ewww, and a bit alarming."_ I sing, feeling myself grow extremely alarmed at the way I'm starting to empathize with the song. _"Who'd have ever thought that this could beeeeee?"_ I glance at Papyrus. But then why am I smiling so much? _"Truuuue, that he's no prince charming"_ Actually no, he pretty much is. _"But there's something in him that I simply didn't seeeee_."

The monsters applaud before the song even comes to an end, making me laugh, as Papyrus and I gaze into each other's eyes (and sockets), with shy smiles. The lights grow dim until there's just darkness and the curtain closes. We remain the same.

"Papyrus." I whisper. "The curtain already closed."

His smile widens slightly. "I Know... Cute Human."

" **the kid and beauttaton grew closer and closer as time went by."**

We both finally react. I'm very flustered as we leave to get our costumes for the next scene. The ninja kids kick in to place the background of a ballroom.

" **however, unknown to them, lord farquaaton had grown impatient and was now looking for the castle. he planned to capture the human and marry the skeleton princess to become king."**

The monsters boo, sounding extremely indignant.

" **but that'll wait a lil more."**

The audience cheers and when the curtain opens, a soft music begins. I have a blue dress that the Bunny Lady said it was from one of Mettaton's musicals. My heart beats loudly in my ears.

And it only gets worse when the spotlight also shines on what I could have sworn was James Bond's flawless and masculine skeleton in Grillby's tux.

" _Tale as old as time…"_ The children sing. " _True as it can be"_

Papyrus bows, his face a little orange, and he holds his hand out to me. When I put my fingers into his palm(?), he offers a faint smile.

His bones are actually a bit warm as he smoothly moves my hand to his arm, and my knees tremble at the closeness.

" _Barely even friends_

_Then somebody bends, unexpectedly."_

"We didn't rehearse this." I whisper, clutching his arm for support as we approach the center of the stage. "And I don't know how to dance like this."

Papyrus' tightens his grip on my hand, before he leads the other to his shoulder. "Just Follow My Lead."

He steps forward, me concentrating on matching his steps and not falling or stepping on toes.

" _Just a little change_

_Small to say the least"_

"It's Okay, Caroline." His voice soft, he winks at me, trying to get me to relax. "Just Close Your Eyes And Listen To The Music" He spins me and I go with it, closing my eyes. As I go back to his arms, his sockets are bright. A radiant smile breaks onto my face. _I did it!_

" _Both a little scared_

_Neither one prepared, monster and human."_

We swirl around the stage, the awkwardness slowly melting away.

"Um, Caroline…?"

"Yes, Papyrus?"

He lowers his eyes. "I… I've Been Wondering If Y-You...- I Mean, I, The G-Great Papyrus, Want To… Say? –N-no, I Mean, Well, Yes, But You Know… Not Just Say Something- Um, What's The Word For When You Voice A Question And Also Expect A Reply Back? Uhh…"

I regard him strangely, biting back a smile. "Ask?"

"Y-Yes, Ask... Of- Of Course, I… Um, I The Great Papyrus, Want To… A-Ask-"

A loud thud jerks us back to our senses.

Papyrus releases me and steps away, as I jump, heart pounding, silence filling the room.

That is until we see the echo flower (actually, plastic echo flower) and the glass covering (plastic too) scattered on the ground.

When I look up, I see Kid, still hiding behind the curtain, pale and a look of panic in his face as he mouths _Sorry_.

Oh.

Oh my God!

"O-oh, s-someone has broken into the castle!" I shout, shooting a quick glance at Kid that I make sure he sees, before I run to the plastic flower that lost its petals. "No, no! My enchanted flower, noooooo!"

"SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE CASTLE?!" Papyrus regains his confident composure, his Beauttaton mask back on and following my lead. "I WILL FIND THEM! I WON'T ALLOW-"

"Oh, here you are, Beauttaton!" Kid jumps into the stage dressed as Lord Farquaaton, his plastic crown almost falling because of how much he hurried.

Papyrus and I remain shocked and everyone gasps even though Sans had already told them Kid would be coming at some point.

Conclusion: it must be way too fun to go to the movies with monsters.

"I see you have betrayed your people, Beauttaton! You'll never join the Royal Guard! I am here to capture the human and I will marry the princess! I will be rich and powerful! You can't stop me!"

"NEVER!" Papyrus puts himself between us, his eyes intense and angry. "I'M NO TRAITOR! I CARE A LOT ABOUT MY PEOPLE, BUT I WILL NEVER LET YOU HARM THIS HUMAN BECAUSE… SHE IS THE SKELETON PRINCESS!"

Now, if I thought those were gasps, I was so, so wrong.

I feign surprise. "You… you knew?"

"I HEARD THE CURSE WHEN I TOUCHED THE ECHO FLOWER. THEY REPEAT THE LAST THING THEY HEARD."

Kid makes a horrified expression. "The skeleton princess… a human?! Ewwww! I will FIGHT her and destroy her!"

Papyrus summons a long bone again as his sword. "YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME!"

I know the battle comes next and much to my dismay, my fake fear turns very real when Kid charges forward and instead of a fierce (very cute) battle between Papyrus and him, the little dinosaur stumbles and falls face-first off the stage after the first two steps.

He doesn't move.

Papyrus grabs my arm before I can run to his aid and he only shakes his head.

"HE FELL FROM THE TALL CASTLE. HE'S DEAD." He lifts his brow, motioning at me to look at Kid.

I do and I feel a wave of relief at seeing him discreetly wink at me, letting me know he is okay.

But you don't understand, because this is actually much worse since I have to hold back my laugh.

AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO TURN BACK INTO A SKELETON! BUT WITHOUT THE FLOWER, WE CAN'T DO THAT NOW.

"Are you… afraid of me?"

"NO." Papyrus turns around and steps closer, towering above me, his sockets intense and decisive. He might be the worst beggar but this is definitely his thing. "IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME WHAT YOU ARE."

 _Dang it, Papyrus._ "Y-you-" I repress the urge to slap myself, "you don't care if I'm a human? If I'm not a monster?"

"OF COURSE NOT." He places a strand of hair behind my ear.

I feel heat rush to my cheeks and I smile fondly at him. He may be acting but that's Papyrus' kind heart right there. "The curse should be broken, I don't understand…" I look at the plastic echo flower without petals. "I'm supposed to be beautiful."

Papyrus hugs me, genuinely surprising me and sending weird but nice shivers down my spine. "BUT YOU _ARE_ BEAUTIFUL."

As I remain in Papyrus' arms returning the hug, the monsters go crazy.

" **since there was no ruler, the kid became a princess again. the monsters didn't mind when she said her body had bones and a skeleton too. and they lived happily ever after. the end."**

The monsters stand up, cheering, hooting and clapping, some of them wiping tears from their eyes as flowers rain to us.

I giggle happily as Papyrus and I let go of each other, both of us motioning the rest of the cast to come too and once they do, Sans, dogs, kids and Kid, we all bow together. I see a lot of flashes and phone cameras.

Smiling, I bite my lower lip. Then I look at the skeleton standing beside me.

How come all of them have such pure and sweet hearts?

* * *

I couldn't be more nervous. I wiggle my toes incessantly and maybe you'd think we would win because of the effort we put into this, but for this competition to be valid, the judges have to evaluate our act based solely on Papyrus' performance and mine.

I count the mistakes I made during the play. Did Alphys and Gerson notice? If we happen to lose this, it's game over for me. I know what Undyne's wish will be and I don't know if Frisk can convince her otherwise-

No. I can't think of this right now.

Papyrus' hand takes mine. Grateful, I squeeze it in return.

I feel like I'm in some kind of American Idol, with the four of us waiting on stage and the judges deliberating.

Except that losing won't send me home or anywhere remotely close.

Finally, Alphys walks to the stage. My grip on Papyrus' hand tightens.

"This has been a difficult decision, b-but the winners of this challenge and VIP Mettaton concert tickets are…"

I feel the severe urge to inhale and only then I realize at some point I stopped breathing. _METTATON VIP CONCERT TICKETS?!_

"…Papyrus and Caroline with _Monster and the Beast!_ "

My fragile composure shatters. Squealing, I throw my arms around Papyrus, as the room around us explodes with noise. Applause and cheers rise into the air but I barely hear any of it.

Finally, I pull back to look at him, his huge grin matching mine.

"VIP Mettaton tickets! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! We did it, Papyrus! And we get to pass to the next challenge! Wooohooo!"

"NYEHEHEH! I TOLD YOU EVERYONE WOULD LOVE OUR ACT!"

I throw my head back in laughter. "And you were so right, Great Papyrus!" Then looking into the crowd, I spot Sans talking to Kid.

Oh, that's right.

We have a lot of dog treats and ketchup packets to deliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so they didn't get Mettaton tickets, they got VIP Mettaton tickets! I hope you laughed as much as I did imagining the wolf scene. Sometimes I wish I could just show you the movie that plays in my head. By the way, the dogs were Greater Dog, Lesser Dog and Annoying Dog.
> 
> So have you watched Beauty and the Beast yet? I LOVED IT! I kept smiling the whole movie and silently mouthing the lyrics to the songs (in Spanish because I'm Mexican. I obviously watched both the original and dubbed version!)
> 
> Ohhh and I also have to suggest you read a very good fanfic! You probably already know it since it's really popular, but I just found it and it was like discovering the Holy Grail. It's called Six Skeletons One Maid, by racoonsinqueen. 
> 
> Also thank you for the kudos and simply for reading this story. I hope you guys are doing great wherever you are and I send you all a hug.
> 
> Personal replies:
> 
> inkforone:  
> Okay, so this is a huge first for me. No one had ever left a long review in EACH. SINGLE. CHAPTER. It was extremely unexpected, I usually wait until I read the last chapter of a fanfic to comment, so you have no idea of the huge grin that I had in my face for days thinking that someone took all that time to write their opinions and predictions in each of my chapters. Seriously, thank you so much!! I loved reading each of your reviews, you made me super happy. And then you tell me this story inspired you to write your own fanfic! I send you a bone-breaking hug.
> 
> Gelasia_Kidd:  
> Oh my God. I can only begin to imagine how you must feel without a friend irl since 2005, of course you must be very tired. I didn't have any irl friends for 5 years and it was until October 2016 that I finally made one. It felt like I broke a curse or something. I don't know if your feelings are similar to mine, because I felt so terribly lonely and deeply ashamed that I was uncapable of befriending at least one person. I don't know what your specific situation is, but in my case I'm ashamed of myself because I think my interests are somewhat childish or strange, I think there's nothing special about me that could make others want to be my friends and I think I'm boring, so opening up is no easy task for me because I don't want to deal with rejection or the painful neutrality anymore. But if I learned anything from the experience is this.
> 
> Trust me, your flaws are not as big as you think they are and there are people out there that will want to know you and that will like you for you, and not just because of what you have to offer, or because of your mask, or because of how you make them feel about themselves. But we need to take risks and open up so they can really see us. The real you. The friend I made was an acquaintance from college and one day she asked me to hang out. Being the social-phobic I am, I was really close to make up an excuse because I was terrified she would see the real, boring and awkward me, and the idea of having to hold a conversation terrified me. I'm so glad I agreed to it, because I had a really good time and I missed being able to go to the movies with a friend. Ever since we've been hanging out every now and then and the feeling of being with someone that is actually glad to spend time with me is undescribable. I had missed it so much. I still wish I had more than one friend and I'm still having difficulties to open up but I can only tell you that the most beneficial thing you can do is question every single thing you believe about yourself, because no matter how others taught you to see yourself, it's a perception and not reality. The most healing thing for me has been to slowly start to realize that the real me is not as bad as I think and that is actually worth being accepted and loved, in spite of all the painful evidence and experiences in the past. That there are people out there willing to appreciate me. And believe me when I say this, you weren't put in a world with 7.5 billion people to feel alone. You are worthy of love and appreciation, no matter the things you do, don't do or don't know how to do or offer. Also, know that there's nothing wrong with you because anyone would feel the same way you do in your place. It's okay for you to be you because that's who you are supposed to be and that will always be good enough and then some. I appreciate you too!


	13. Everything that irritates us about others...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm feeling a lot better! This chapter got too long so I split it in two. Hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Aaaand check out InkForOne's awesome fic Companiontale! 
> 
> You can find the link in "Works inspired by this one."

Sans was pleased with his ketchup packets and I've never seen happier, cuter Pomeranians after receiving dog treats. After Papyrus and I took quick pictures with a few monsters, our celebrity lives ended and we changed back to regular clothes.

Is the Underground made of fun?

Undyne came to briefly congratulate Papyrus, and I was sincerely surprised to see my rehearsed comebacks go to waste because she didn't speak a word to me. Not only that, but she didn't shoot a glare, a scowl, a scoff or anything that even acknowledged my existence. It was weird but I can't say I wasn't relieved.

And it was way weirder that I wasn't exactly glad either.

Frisk gave me a hug, though. But believe me when I say I will fulfill my promise and give them the wrong wi-fi password a couple of times when they least expect it.

And now, as we head back to Waterfall for the last challenge, I can't think straight. Today it could be the difference between walking away and… not. My fingertips go ice cold and I feel my pulse pounding in my temples.

"kid, you okay?" Sans asks me, lifting a brow as we keep walking. "you're almost as white as paps or me."

I sigh loudly. "I'm fine. But Alphys said the last challenge is always completely new and never seen before… I just hope it isn't anything athletic or we'll lose for sure, and I'm obviously not saying that because of you, Papyrus. But… if we _do_ lose, and I sincerely hope that's not the case… is there a plan B? Gosh, I don't know, maybe… maybe I could try to run away with Frisk? I don't know…"

Papyrus cocks his head to the side. "You And The Smaller Human Will Be Safe, No Matter What! You Can Leave That And Undyne To Me, I Promise!" He reassures me, his sweet, confident grin in place.

"and then we can go to grillby's and grab somethin' to eat. my treat, hm? sounds like a good plan to ya?"

Papyrus and Sans are so alike, whether they realize it or not. At first, they may seem like opposites, but both are carefree, confident, caring and cute in very different ways. Maybe it's a skeleton thing.

"That's a very good plan." I smile softly. "Perfect, actually."

Sans grins lazily, liking my answer while Papyrus seems upset about something. " _Sans_! You're Just Looking For An Excuse To Be Lazy And Do Nothing!"

"what? me? naaah, i'd never do that."

"Of Course You Always Do! Besides Caroline Might Prefer A Place That's Not So…" Papyrus pauses, his face making me think there might be something seriously scary about Grillby's, before he says the next word like it's poison, "… _Greasy._ "

"Pfftt- Hahahaha"

"heh heh."

"Wh-Why Are You Two Laughing?"

I compose myself, stifling another laugh. "I-It's nothing, Papyrus." I smile. "You're right. Let's do our best, okay?"

He grins widely, forgetting all about Grillby's. "Of Course! We'll Win The Challenges!"

"…"

"….."

"…."

"…and maybe we can go to Grillby's afterwards?"

" _Ugghhhhh Fiiiiiiiiine!_ "

* * *

After the River Person gave us a lift, we finally reach Gerson's shop. There are even more monsters gathered around and suddenly I'm painfully aware of my human body to the point even breathing feels awkward. _Why do there have to be so many?_

In contrast to way they examined me with curiosity when we gathered in Snowdin for the first challenge, they now grin and some even wave at me, excitement in their eyes. I return the gestures, feeling my stiff and self-conscious body slightly relax with their friendliness.

Until Undyne and Frisk arrive a little after.

Gerson and Alphys behind them.

_Let. It. Not. Be. An. Athletic. Thing._

Alphys and Gerson stand at the center, where everyone can see them. Sans winks at me before getting lost somewhere in the crowd, leaving Papyrus and I for the final battle to occur. The monsters look eager and I grow nervous feeling Papyrus' and Undyne's energies become more intense and competitive and… protective?

"As you know, this is the final challenge and it w-will determine the winners. I remind you that the prize is to have a wish granted by the other t-team." Alphys smiles timidly. "This challenge is always unique and it was designed based on the wishes you wrote at the um, beginning."

Wait.

That's what _those_ were for?

Gulping, I sideways glance at Undyne.

"So these are the rules. Frisk and P-papyrus will participate in a rally all over H-H-Hotland. I'll be the judge of that competition. Undyne and Caroline's task will happen here in Waterfall and they'll h-have to um… escape from a maze."

I involuntarily step back, my world falling apart.

"Now's _my_ chance to prove the coward how determined and tough monsters are!" Undyne laughs in ecstasy. "Yes, yes, _YESSSSS_!"

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

"Gerson will explain the details. P-P-Papyrus and Frisk, please f-f-follow me." Alphys says and with that, she turns around, the rest of the monsters following her.

I frantically turn to Papyrus and when I do, he's already facing me.

"I _Know_ You Can Do This." He speaks first, as he gently places his hands on my arms. What stops me in my tracks: the kind, calm smile he gives me. "Even If You Don't Think So… I Promise."

Without thinking, I nod shakily, my voice barely above a whisper. "Okay."

He squeezes my shoulders and before I can say anything else, he follows Alphys and the rest of the monsters, glancing back at me once more, until I can't see him.

His warmth leaves me and this time his encouraging words have little to no effect on me. In fact it only added to the pressure. I don't want to let Papyrus down. Is it always going to be like this every time I talk to him? Probably it will, seeing how much he believes in me.

Honestly, that's the worst part. He's not just being the good, supportive friend, encouraging me with words that are meant to cheer me up. Nope. Papyrus actually _believes_ the stuff he says. His main intention isn't to make you feel better, he aims to be honest about what he thinks of you. Feeling better is only a happy side-effect. Dammit. And I _can't_ let him down, and by not letting him down, I mean I desperately don't want him to find out the truth about how incompetent I am in general because then he'll never look at me the way he just did again. Have you ever gotten a compliment from someone such as _'you're cool'_ or something like ' _we should hang out!_ ', and as much as you liked the implications of those words, you then realize it's going to be a little painful when they find out the truth about you, because you know your real self will leak at some point and inevitably screw it up, making the extremely precious and rare occurrence of someone _actively_ enjoying your presence and looking forward to it, instead of just cordially coexisting with it disappear, like the illusion it was from the start because they never really knew you and instead happened to have a different, improved version of you in their minds, and now you kind of fear the moment you'll see their smiles become polite instead of genuine, the glow in their eyes when they see you disappear and the conversations you have with them grow impersonal even if they're smiling? Well, I haven't. Nah, I'm kidding. I feel exactly like that and I hate that there's 99% of probability that I'm going to see a bit of the glow in Papyrus' eyes dim after this (if not right now, eventually), when the capable and idealized image he has of me shatters and the subtle boredom come to replace it. Starting today, when his hard work goes to waste because of me. He'll never believe in me again. I can't even deal with this thing, I mean…

…me against Undyne? A maze?

Slowly turning around, I see Undyne waiting for me, smirking in a very unsettling way. At least Frisk will be safe. If it weren't for the fact that Gerson's still here, I'd be visibly trembling.

I look at him, forcing a tiny smile that I pray will convince him to provide me whatever protection he can.

He grins. "Well, well, look at what we've got here. Our local hero and the actress of the day! Wah ha ha! I've been around a long time and this looks promising even to me."

It doesn't matter how nice Gerson is, the best I can manage is a forced, nervous chuckle while I fidget a little with my hands.

"I agree, old man." Undyne's eye seems to gleam in anticipation. I don't like it one bit. "Promising indeed."

"Ha! Let's get this started then." Gerson says excitedly, rubbing his hands, completely oblivious of my distress. "We turned the distance between Waterfall and Hotland into a maze. The rally your teammates will do, ends right at the entrance of Hotland. So, you gotta find the exit and meet'em there as soon as you can to win."

I raise my hand and lower it when Gerson nods at me. "I… I don't know the Underground that well, um, doesn't that kind of put me in… disadvantage?"

Gerson's smile turns into a smirk. It makes me wish I hadn't said anything in the first place. " _That_ would be the case _if_ we didn't have the following specifications."

"I wouldn't worry, coward." Undyne scoffs. "Of course it'd be so obvious you'd need handicap."

"Oh, but this isn't about the human, Undyne." Gerson chuckles. "You see, this challenge needs to have some connection to the wishes you wrote at the beginning, so Alph and I added a few twists to make it more fun. You two will have things you're not allowed to do to escape the maze. If you do, you'll be disqualified. So, here. Actress and local hero." Gerson gives each of us a piece of paper. I'll never get why he calls someone as evil as Undyne a local hero.

I take the piece of paper and my eyes quickly scan it.

My stomach twists.

" _Caroline_

_You can't touch the walls_

_You can't walk"_

I have no idea what the maze will be like, but I have the feeling I'm going to have to creative to replace the first one at some point. Although the walking thing freaked me out at first, I've already got that one covered. I was planning to run to beat Undyne, anyway.

Holding the paper to my chest, I look to my right only to see Undyne pale and horrified.

"You can't be serious…! Ngahh. Fine. I can easily beat any coward, anyway." She crumbles the paper into a ball, grumpily stuffing it in her pocket. Then her eye narrows at me.

And it's in that moment that we both hold a silent conversation and we confirm we were indeed having the same thought. _I'll protect my weaknesses from you, because I know you'll undoubtedly take advantage of them._

And neither of us is wrong.

"So you kiddos ready?" Gerson asks, eagerness in his croaky, warm voice.

My muscles tense and my throat tightens. _Never_. "Yes."

Undyne shrugs. "Ready to kick some coward's ass? I've been ready since I was born."

Gerson laughs heartily in contrast to my racing mind. "Very well! Get behind this line, please."

I follow Undyne's example and keep the list of my weaknesses in my pocket. _Okay, just… RUN. That's it. Run as fast as you can. Run._

He clears his throat. "Ready…"

… _But run where?_

"Set…"

_Anywhere!_

"GO!"

My feet shuffle for a moment, confused at the direction my brain wants to take and then I lunge forward into a long hall.

I'm confused when Undyne doesn't run past me in the first few seconds as I quickly get into a different room, only to halt immediately, almost tripping and having a mini heart attack in the process.

And only to find myself beyond confused.

Ignoring the bunch of bright colored tiles ahead of me, I pick up a yellow postick in front of my feet.

" _Pink tiles have no effect and can be walked on freely. Green tiles sound an alarm and you have to hug a monster. Red tiles act as solid walls and are impassable. Orange tiles are orange scented, so they will make you-"_

Then thundering laugh echoes through the walls.

"PREPARE, COWARD! I ALREADY KNOW THIS PUZZLE AS WELL AS THE BACK OF MY HAND! FUHUHUU!"

Adrenaline shoots through me. No time to think. My hand squeezes the instructions and I jump to one of the tiles.

_*BBZZZZZ*_

" _Ow, ow, ow_!" I hiss, jumping back and bouncing on one foot, hating the tingling sensation in my sore feet and legs.

"HAHAHA! PRICELESS! See you at the finish line, coward!" Undyne points her finger at me, her foot quickly choosing the orange tile next to the yellow one I stepped on and she begins marching swiftly between tiles.

"That's not fair!" I jump right behind her, following her steps. "If you know this puzzle, this challenge isn't fair!" Trying to find a way around her, I step on a blue one, just to cringe and have the same stupid electric current on my feet.

"And that's why you shouldn't believe everything your enemies tell you!" Undyne cackles. "I made you think that, so you would rush and make stupid mistakes. It's all in the strategy, coward! Hahaha- _Owww_!"

"HA! Thank you, Karma!" I look to the ceiling, before quickly making my way through the colors, avoiding the water-tile where Undyne is wincing, and I realize it's next to a yellow one.

That's what you get, fish.

The next four minutes are a perfectly well-functioning torture chamber. Yelps and groans of pain, frustration and fright, loud alarms, Froggits jumping out of nowhere asking for hugs, continual electrical buzzes and the ever present smell of citrus fruits.

And of course, those four minutes turn into ten because a certain resentful human, and a certain vengeful, power-hungry fish wouldn't stop sabotaging each other by making the other trip and keep pushing her to the Froggits and onto the bad tiles.

Unsurprisingly, Undyne finishes first, panting, and when I see her quickly marching, an idea comes to me.

Determined, she continues her way in a hurry, until a paper plane flies right above her head. She jumps back, taking a battle stance. It peacefully lands several feet ahead of her.

Puzzled and full of distrust, she slowly turns around.

"Let's make a deal." I meet her steely gaze with one of my own. "I'll show you what's written in my paper and you show me yours. You can trust me because I gave you mine first." I motion to the paper plane with my chin. "You don't have to give me yours until you read mine. Deal?"

Undyne scrunches up her face, reflexively. "I don't make deals with cowards."

I inwardly smile, seeing her eye tentatively looking at the paper. "Then I guess I just made a fool of myself, because you could just go and take the paper- I mean, you're closer and you're faster than I am, so I've no chance of taking it before you do. You could read it and not give me anything in return. But I guess that would be too easy for you, no?"

"Y-yeah. If I have to do this against you, then I should make this more entertaining for myself. More challenging!"

I smirk. "You can't run, can you?"

Undyne's eye widens before it narrows in anger, her hands balling into fists. "You stupid, coward!"

It's like those words translate in our brains to "ready, set, go." Both of us bolt for the paper plane as fast as we can. Well, I run. Undyne can only do so much as to almost jog, although her strides are beyond terrifying.

Barely getting ahead of her, I grasp the paper plane and dash out of there, ignoring all the threats she shouts at me and I can't help but feel a tinge of hope because maybe I _do_ have a chance after all!

I disappear around the corner, ready to solve the next puzzle or whatever's waiting for me. C'mon, I read Maze Runner, nothing can stop me!

Except maybe this room with several paths lit by fluorescent mushrooms and trees, and I don't know which one to take.

Undyne's shouts get closer. That's all I need to wing it once more.

I sprint, following a random path, hoping it won't take me too long to figure out the right one. It snakes around the room, as I take several turns.

"You're so dead, coward!"

_OMG, SHE'S HERE!_

Desperate, I speed up and right before I lose my sense of orientation, the impossible happens once again.

The exit is right before me. I chose the right path. On my first attempt!

A grateful smile spreads across my face, and just as I'm about to run into the next room, victoriously giggling like I don't have a care in the world, the very possible happens.

_*Squeak*_

What the-?!

The illuminated path disappears, completely disabling me from moving forward. It doesn't matter how hard I try to cross, it's as if there's a magnetic wall preventing me from advancing.

"You're a coward _and_ a cheater."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. _Of course it had to be you._ Taking a deep breath, I refuse to turn around.

"Now, coward, make way for the worthy and brave ones!"

_*Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak*_

"W-what the hell Undyne?!St-stop it!" Different paths turn on and off, as the crazy fish maniacally laughs, kicking all the mushrooms randomly, and for sure I know I'm lost.

"FUHUHUUUU! Afraid to make things a little even, coward?" She smirks, without stopping her stupid quest of causing me an epileptic attack with all the lights turning on and off. "I thought you wanted to win!"

My mouth drops. "Wh- You're not even trying to win, you're just trying to get me lost! Stop!"

Undyne laughs and the squeaking noises grow more irritating. "I knew from the start I was gonna win, but this is a bonus that's too good to let go of! Even better than the real prize!"

_*Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak*_

"U-Undyne, stop! _STOP IT_! You're gonna-"

_*Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak*_

"…"

_*Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak*_

Fine.

Two can play this game.

_*Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak**Squeak*_

* * *

_-45 minutes later-_

"UGHH! You're not even hitting the right ones, coward! Stop moving! You're so stupid!"

My voice rises, fire in my stomach, as I rest my head on my hands. "Says the fish that got herself lost because of her poor self-control! I had already found the exit and now neither of us can get out!"

"That's because I had a plan and _you_ ruined it! You stupid humans always ruin everything!"

Every time she opens her mouth I get angrier. "Oh, I'm _**so**_ sorry my presence is so uncomfortable to your racist preferences, but let me tell you Undyne, what you see in others is a reflection of yourself and I have plenty of evidence that you're _stellar_ at ruining stuff."

"Racist? You call _ME_ a racist? Hah… Humans are definitely the worst."

"You don't know a thing about humans!" I snap before I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I try to speak as calmly as I can. "Look, Undyne. **Please**. For both of our sakes… Let's be reasonable. You don't want to be here with me and I don't want to be here with you. That's all we need to have in common and fortunately we do. So…" I sigh. "Could you. _Please._ Stop. Kicking mushrooms. Right after I do? Just to sabotage me? Huh? So that we can find the exit and get this over with? You don't want us to work together to find a way out of here. Fine. Could you at least let me try, then? Please?"

She stares at the ground and doesn't respond. That's a first. A very strange first.

"Undyne?"

Silence.

Crazy fish.

I tentatively lift my foot to lightly tap a mushroom, stopping mid-air to check back on Undyne. With her nothing's this easy. She remains still, her gaze somewhere else.

Did I finally convince her? That's it? No fighting back? Whatever. Let's do it before she changes her mind.

I barely move my foot.

_*Sque-*_

_*SQUEAK*_

I could feel my face grow hot with suppressed rage. Undyne sneers at me then laughs only adding fuel to my wrath.

Why is she so fucking determined to make me miserable?

"You're impossible. You have the mindset of a two year old. I don't know why everyone admires you, you're just a big bully with an empty head!"

Her laughter immediately ceases, as she glares at me with hatred in her cruel dull eye.

"A bully!? I _PROTECT_ others, you idiot. Unlike _YOU, t_ he most selfish thing in the Underground."

I laugh mockingly. " _I'M_ selfish? Are you sure? Because last time I checked, _**I**_ wasn't the one trying to **murder** innocent humans for my own benefit."

"You're standing in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams, that's all you're good at! And you don't even care!"

" _Forgive me for actually caring about my life and not being_ _ **selfless enough**_ _to let you kill me and have my soul for whatever sadistic ritual!_ Forgive me for having survival instincts! Don't lie to yourself, Undyne, you aren't better than me. You're the aggressive and the hateful one, no matter what you say. There's a reason you can't spell selfish without _**FISH**_ _IN IT._ "

" _ **YOUR**_ kind _**HATES**_ us! Humans are designed for hate and betrayal! You're no different!"

"I _**don't**_ hate monstersand _MY KIND_ doesn't even know you exist! What part of that you don't understand? You think I'd still be here if they did!?"

"Maybe they don't care about you! That's human nature! And the only reason you're feeling so damn bold right now to open your big mouth, is because the rules protect you! You bloody coward."

"You know what? I'm done listening to you. You've been insulting me all day, Undyne, and the funny thing is I haven't given you _a single_ reason to treat me the way you do. You're a toxic monster, Undyne. I'm done with you." I turn my back on her, eyes stinging.

"Of course. _How convenient_. I call you on your bullshit and you run away! You're so damn self-centered! Wanna know why you're a selfish coward? You're using others to fight your own battles 'cause you're too damn scared! No. TERRIFIED! Terrified of monsters! You play the good-and-weak card and you know it, you deceitful brat! You don't care about monsters, in fact YOU FEAR THEM, you just want to save your own ass! That's why you're doing these challenges, right? Cowards like you are always weak traitors that use others to their own means. You can't do anything by yourself! You trick others to do your business! WHO'S THE RACIST BULLY?! But you can't fool me, weak liar, I can see right through you! I'm going to make everyone see you for who you truly are! A WORTHLESS, PATHETIC COWARD. Fear leads your life."

That is the breaking point of my patience. I held it back as long as I could, then I let go. I want to cry, rage boiling in my belly. " **YOU KNOW NOTHING**. I didn't ask to come here! You don't know what this has been like for me! **You don't know** _ **ME**_ **at all!** You won't ruin my friendships! I'm not using anybody and trust me, nobody's going to believe your stupid accusations because nobody's as stupid as you." I know I should take control back, calm down before I make it worse, but I just don't have it in me to stop. "Oh and guess what? Now that we're going down the path of pointing out why pathetic cowards are so terrible, I'm sorry to break it to you, oh so strong _local hero_ , but you're as much of a coward as I am."

"I'LL SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Undyne kicks a mushroom that lights up a path that leads straight to me. Furious, she marches and I kick another mushroom that turns off the path.

"Oh no, no, no, you're going to hear this loud and clear. That's what you get for trapping us both here." A second voice is urging me to stop, but this is an explosion in progress, no reverse gear, no dampeners _._ "So listen, my coward replica, to despise me and humans as much as you do, you must consider us a threat. You said it yourself! You think we're all traitors, right? That means you consider us dangerous and there's only one emotion behind that: _FEAR, MY DEAR!"_ At this point Undyne's kicking several mushrooms trying to find another path to reach me. Her desperation tells me she's listening. Good. _"_ To feel threatened you have to be afraid. You act like you're angry, but deep down, anger is actually pure fear. But oh no, you don't just dislike humans. You _HATE_ humans _._ You're as terrified of us as I am of _you_ , and by _you_ I mean Undyne The Bully,so let me ask you this, who's weaker? The cowardwho can't admit to their own fear- because it turns out you're _ALSO_ afraid of your own fear! That's why you feel the constant need to prove yourself you're not vulnerable and desperately put on a tough mask because that's how powerless you actually feel, and that's how weak you are to deal with your own insecurities- a.k.a _the fake coward,_ orthe fear-expressive coward? Huh? Deny it all you want, your life is as fear-driven as mine and deep down, you're everything you despise."

"ENOUGH! SHUT IT, YOU MANIPULATIVE SCUM!" Although Undyne's words are laced with venom, her voice wavers, as she suddenly stops kicking. "YOU DON'T KNOW REAL FEAR! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH BECAUSE OF COWARDS LIKE YOU! You said you have friends? Don't make me laugh, you heartless low life form! Once you got your wish, what were you gonna do? Huh?"

I remain quiet, her words knocking the air out of my lungs. I feel a tiny, sharp knife dig deeper and deeper and deeper.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Get out of here and then what? You'd simply leave them, wouldn't you? 'Cause I don't think you were planning to come for a visit. You'd undoubtedly abandon everyone! _How selfless of you_! The poor human misses her comfort zone, and she's too scared of this place and the rest of us! I bet you didn't even talk to Papyrus or Sans about what would happen once you got your little wish, huh? You didn't talk to them because it's a difficult conversation for you? ' _Thanks, now excuse me, I'm terrified of your species! Buh bye!_ ' Some friend you are! I wouldn't forsake my friends! But of course no one can rely on you. You have to make sure you're comfortable! You just care about yourself and the human kid because they're your own kind. Not to mention the kid is braver, calmer and smarter than you'll ever be! You couldn't adapt to different circumstances to save your own life, you fear changes and difficulties so much! No… you fear LIFE itself so much. But at least you're aware of how inadequate you are. You think you're protecting _the kid_? Enough with the lies! They're protecting _YOU_. You can't do anything by yourself, all you can do is sit and cry like a baby, pitying yourself! _Poor human_! You know what? I changed my mind. Maybe once you got out, you wouldn't forget about everyone here. Maybe you'd make sure they trapped us for good, so no one else can come right? So 'no more humans are in danger.' That's how terrible you think this place is. Still you say you care about _some_ monsters and even call them _friends_. You're a naive backstabber. Afraid of losing your _friends_? Don't be. You can't lose something you never had."

I feel something tiny fall on my hand. Two. Three. My vision blurs and I realize my cheeks have been wet for a while.

Undyne remains silent and turns her back on me. Her fists and shoulders tense and it seems as if she's debating something with herself, before she storms away. My tears let me see a blurred version of her, slowly getting lost in the distance, snaking around the room, until she disappears in the direction where we came from.

I wait one heartbeat. Two. Then those two turn to ten. And only then my hands fall to my knees and I hear stifled sobbing.

The beads of water start falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. I listen to my own quiet whimpers and the short pauses for recovering breaths.

What the hell, Caroline?


	14. ...can lead us to an understanding of ourselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suggest you listen to Undertale OST - Waterfall and loop it while reading this. At least for, like, the first half of the chapter.

I don't know how long I remain like that. Unable to control my emotions, my mind surprisingly blank. Absent as tears continue to pour from my eyes.

What the hell, indeed, Caroline?

Eventually, I straighten myself, wiping my face with the back of my hands. I can't stay here forever. This is still Frisk's chance at survival and mine. And Undyne can't freaking say if Papyrus and Sans are my real friends or not. If _I'm_ a real friend or not. She doesn't get to decide that. That's for _us_ to decide and I know I'm not just using anybody. I care about them! That's just part of her human-hating delirium.

_Pinche pez._

I sniff, looking at the fluorescent mushrooms around me. This is my shot. If Undyne gave up, which I doubt, I can win by default. But if she didn't, which I'm almost certain of, she's obviously coming back.

I kick random mushrooms at the same time I try to memorize the paths they activate, Undyne's words and face haunting me all the while. My emotions are a mess, but as much as my inner world is begging at me to do something about it, I don't want to face Undyne anytime soon. I feel extremely fragile right now. I can only hope Papyrus is having a much better time with Frisk.

Eventually, I find the right combination of mushrooms and the exit is open for me. I'm physically tired of all the jogging and emotionally exhausted because of the arguing and the tears I had to swallow.

I jog, hoping the next room has something better in store for me.

A girl can dream, right?

Total darkness suffocates my body and my knees tremble. I'd rather keep arguing with Undyne than cross this room.

A chill runs down my spine until I glimpse a lamp next to a large purple crystal to my left. I hesitantly lift my hand and poke it like it might explode.

I shrink at first, but then relax at the sudden sight of the whole room. I can even see the exit and other crystals around, along a few lamps. There are other paths intertwining, but the main one is perfectly clear. No time to waste.

Slightly calmer, I jog, my strides shorter and weaker. I want water. I find comfort and relief at Undyne's absence and at the fact I didn't have to face a pitch-black room.

That is until the light goes out.

The last thing I see is how far the closer lamp is.

"H-hello? Is-is someone there?" I call out as panic begins like a cluster of spark plugs in my abdomen. Tension grows in my face and limbs. "G-Gerson?"

I try to move but to no avail. There are magnetic walls everywhere. And if I touch the real walls I'll be disqualified and all of this would have been for nothing.

My breathing becomes more rapid, more shallow. My heart is hammering inside my chest. I move, rapidly, a rush of energy flooding my suddenly self-autonomous body. I advance, but since the path is anything but straight I can't tell if I'm going in the right direction or not. But I think I am. It remember it was an easy path to follow.

Then I hit magnetic walls. No lamps, nor crystals around.

I freeze. My brain is demanding the energetic expenditure of an athlete but won't tell my limbs what to do.

"P-please! Is someone th-there?!"

This darkness seems different. I keep imagining ghosts and monsters observing me, ready to do with me as they please, lurking in the dark. In this cage. Trapped with me, for who knows how long. My breath comes in gasps. I feel so scared. So imprisoned. So lost. So alone. So…

…hurt.

Wait.

That's… that's not mine.

Forcing my breathing to stabilize, since panicking won't help, I wipe the tears from my face even though it's useless since I can't see anyways.

There _is_ something different about this darkness. Soon my fear distorts. It distorts into grief, powerlessness and hopelessness, making it impossible for me to hold my tears back.

It's a quiet wave of pain. A shared, almost ancestral one. So many have felt this way. My chest aches as my sobs continue. Poor people. What the hell happened to them? At first there are so many tiny emotions that I can't find the exact name for the type of sad, bitter and quiet sensation they leave in me. Feelings are like colors and flavors. There are many variations, even if they have the same name. You can feel sad in so many different ways and I can't define what this one is like. It tastes of pure, innocent dreams being murdered and a broken future. It tastes of loss and of melancholy. It tastes of silent tears and laments. It tastes of desolation and deep rejection. It tastes of unfairness and fear. It tastes of worthlessness and impotence. It tastes of being unappreciated and inexistent. It tastes of hopelessness and dark oblivion. But then I know the word. I know what all of this feels like.

It feels like abuse.

Somehow that realization only makes me cry more.

It's useless to talk to my guides when I'm this emotionally unstable. Yet as soon as I have the thought, Undyne comes to mind.

 _Yeah, I don't think so._ I'm too stubborn and proud. I won't face her. Not like this. I refuse to ask her for help. I'll manage. Either that or I'll simply get myself disqualified, whatever. This is more than I can handle.

"U-undyne? A-are y-you there? Undyne?" I'm calling out to her before I can stop myself. Yeah, I should have known. My pride is the least of my priorities right now. "U-undyne, I... I know you don't want to talk t-to me but… I'm… I'm lost…" I try to sound as clear as I can between hiccups. "I'm s-sorry."

My shoulders shake and I can't stop myself from sobbing. The pain grows but it now mixes with my own pain for the poor souls who have felt like this and were never acknowledged. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" I whisper, bracing myself. "You didn't deserve it… Any of you… You didn't do anything wrong… I am _so, so_ sorry…"

"…Coward?"

I am startled by the voice behind me, my eyes widening as I spin on my heels. The fish monster with the one eye glares at me, holding her cellphone to illuminate my swollen face.

But I don't see the way her eye looks at me with distrust and contempt. I don't see the way she stands as if she's wasting her time.

This time I only see a woman that sincerely wants to help her people. The woman that's invested her time and her efforts trying to figure out how to truly help in the only way she knows. A woman that doesn't want any more suffering. That doesn't want to suffer herself. A woman that's desperately looking for a way to relieve others' pain.

The woman that came to my aid, even though we're in a competition and we had an ugly argument.

My face scrunches up, tears streaming down and my voice raises an octave. "…Undyne."

"What's gotten into you, coward? Your weak mind finally snapped? This is pathetic even for your pathetic standards. What are you- WOAH! C-COWARD! WHAT THE HELL!?"

"I'm sorry!" I hug her tighter. "I'm sorry f-f-for everything I said! And- and- and, please, in name of all the humans who-who did this, I… I'm sorry… n-none of you deserved this…"

"C-coward, wh-! let go of me _right now!_ You're wetting my shirt! _"_

"You were right, Undyne. I _am_ a coward… I d-didn't talk to Papyrus and Sans about me leaving be-because I didn't know what I was going to do if I ever left the Underground… and I d-didn't want to think about g-goodbyes… You're right… it _did_ cross my mind asking other humans for- for safety measures once I left! B-b-but I swear it was to protect other hu-humans and not because I wanted something bad t-t-to happen to any of th-the monsters, or t-to trap them! I thought y-y-you living h-h-here was intentional! And- your talent show act was awesome and I was jealous b-b-because Frisk looked so happy with y-you and- and y-you're no coward and-"

"Coward. Shut it. RIGHT. NOW. I'm not talking to you until you regain some of your scarce dignity. Just let me go!"

I shake my head, squeezing her stiff body.

"I'm sorry…" I whisper.

"Ughhh I heard you the first time, dammit. Stop it!"

Undyne makes noises of annoyance, yet doesn't attempt to remove me. Not even once. She lets me remain like that for a few minutes, because I'm so not letting go. Finally I do what she said in the first place and recover some of my scarce dignity.

I gently let go of her, sniffing. "Th-thank you." I shrug, averting her gaze. "And sorry."

"For Asgore's sake, would you stop apologizing already?!" She shakes her head before she points the screen of her phone to her body. "Ewwww, look at what you did. Gross!"

I open my mouth and in an instant she menacingly points her finger at me. "Dare to say you're sorry just one more time, and I'm outta here."

My mouth remains open for a second before I purse my lips and silently nod.

"Hmph. Good." She rolls her eye. "Now follow me before I change my mind." She turns around and begins walking. I follow close behind.

She touches a lamp and I mentally bless her for making the darkness go away. We keep walking in silence for several moments.

"Um, Undyne…?"

"What I told you about saying sorry still stands."

"O... Okay." Shoot. "Well, um… Undyne. When you and I argued… You were right. I mean, not in everything but… about me not being completely honest with myself, Sans and Papyrus. You-"

" _BOH-RING_! You already said that. Jeez, and you call _me_ stupid."

Aha! So you _did_ listen to my crying rambling!

And my words _did_ hurt you...

"Right… but you were also right about my life being fear-driven. And that really hurt. It hurt because it's true… My life out of the Underground is exactly like that. Like you said, I don't just fear challenges and changes, I fear life itself." I look at my feet while I walk. "There are things, small things, I won't do because of my fear, and each day I hate myself for it. Things others easily do. I swear I try, I try really hard, but the fear won't go away. My God, the _shame_ won't go away. And it hurts a lot that it's so painfully obvious that it took you no time to see it."

"Okay. Coward." She halts, quickly spinning on her heels. Her face screams 'uncomfortable'. "I can't have this conversation. As much as I enjoy seeing you make a fool of yourself, this is too much. Even for you."

I remain quiet. She groans again and resumes walking.

"I lied."

She stops. Like I threw a bucket of ice at her. When she doesn't say anything I continue.

"When I… when I said there's only fear behind anger." I shake my head, even though she's not looking at me. "That's not true. There's another feeling."

I expect her to say something. Instead she stays still. Quiet.

"… and what feeling's that, coward?"

A tiny, sad smile appears on my face. "Pain. Hurt. Behind anger and hate, there's always fear and hurt. And about the things I said about you hiding your fear—"

She huffs humorlessly, before she shakes her head in frustration. "Coward, look-"

"No, let me finish. I won't say the ' _s_ ' word, I promise." She stops speaking and I make a pause, taking a deep breath and continue. "I had no right. I said you don't know me, well, I don't know you either. And also I didn't tell you my whole opinion on the matter, because as much as I am a 'fear-expressive' coward, like I said… the truth is I'm _so_ jealous of you, Undyne." My voice wavers and I bite my lower, slightly trembling lip. "Your fear and your pain don't paralyze you. Mine _do_. I don't… I don't toughen up for lack of trying, I swear… I don't toughen up because I _can't_. I can't stop it. I… I don't know what to do with what I feel. I'm not wired like everyone else to just suck it up and move on no matter what you're feeling. I fear my own fear, but the difference is that your life actually continues in spite of it-"

"You're wrong."

Blinking, I tilt my head in confusion. Undyne exhales heavily. She turns around to meet my eyes.

"There are… there are things I won't do either because of my fear. I… you… ugh… youwereright." She looks down, as if those words are difficult to pronounce. I understand (barely) so I don't push it. She scratches her head, fidgeting. "My fear… I… I _do_ despise it. I was so, so pissed when you said deep down I was everything I despised, but I was way more pissed at myself… You forced me to see my own weakness. My own lies… Nobody had ever been so forward with me. At first I didn't get it, it was completely absurd. Of course I don't fear humans! Ridiculous! I mean, jeez, look at you! But then… the thought of us monsters staying here with no hope to leave… their sadness and my impotence… it made sense, y'know? Look, I… I know I can't blame you for the past and for stuff you didn't do. And it's stupid to blame you for not wanting to die, taking it all out on you was… unfair, to say the least." Her voice darkens. "What you said it's true. If I keep pretending my fear and my pain don't exist then… then _I'm_ the coward. I'm just playing dumb and running away from myself! But… you don't. And you don't know how infuriating that is! Say all you want, but you talking to me about this proves my point. I take pride on facing danger head-on, but you… you do something I'm not good at. You face yourself head-on, darkness and all, and that's… that's the opposite of a coward."

I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child, my sight blurry again. I barely reach out for her for a hug. "…Un… Undyne…"

Her face suddenly falls flat. "That's it. I'm leaving." She turns around to walk quickly and I rush after her, not wanting to stay behind.

* * *

 

"Wait, _that_ was blood? Really? When I tried to FIGHT you?" Undyne lifts her eyebrow.

I squint in disbelief at Undyne, my eyeballs moving to the sides and back at her as we walk. "Yes! What did you think it was?"

"Huh… since you were staying in Papyrus' house with Sans, I thought it was ketchup he'd given to you or something."

I blink several times before I burst out laughing. "Oh God no, Undyne, that was not ketchup! Hahahah!"

"Oh. Hmm heh… heh heh… hahAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh my Gosh, s-so," I ask, recovering from my giggles, "if you didn't want to make me bleed, what about all the spears you threw at me?"

She groans in frustration, remembering. "You were supposed to deflect bullets with them! But it didn't matter how many I threw at you, you wouldn't go with the flow! Ughhh!"

I throw my head back in laughter. How the heck does Undyne's logic work?

"You're so weird." Undyne says in fake annoyance. I can tell she's repressing a grin.

We both slip into comfortable silence as my laughter gradually dies. And so does my smile. "…Undyne?"

"Yup?"

I gaze ahead. "…Why do you need a human soul?"

Feeling a more stable myself, I feel her energy become more grave. Solemn even. After the episode in the dark room I could get an idea of what was going on, but I'm still missing information. "Thousands of years ago, humans sealed monsters underground. To break the magic barrier, king Asgore needs seven human souls. We're only missing one."

If I was drinking, this is where I would spit it. "ASGORE'S _THE KING_?"

"Yeah… didn't I tell you?"

"I thought he was _your_ king! Like you were part of a cult or something! Oh wow… And… and the king of monsters wants me dead!?"

Her brow furrows. "It's not like he wants to, he doesn't enjoy any of this, he's a softie! We're… we're desperate, okay? We're not proud, but what are we supposed to do? We've dreamed of a happy ending… of sunlight so many times… It's not fair for them either…" She trails off.

I look at Undyne, feeling my heart throb. "No one should have to go through something as horrible as what happened to monsters. I know what you said but… I'm sorry I judged you. You didn't deserve it."

"…Neither did you nor the six souls." Undyne adds, more quietly than before.

We share a long, comfortable silence of understanding. Of compassion.

We don't speak another word the rest of the way.

#

I remembered Gerson had told us Frisk and Papyrus would be waiting for us at the entrance of Hotland. It was self-explanatory that Alphys and him would be there too.

What he didn't say, was that there were going to be a crowd of screaming monsters and a bunch of TV cameras too, all behind a line.

"CAROLINE!"

I see Papyrus running to me and I barely have time to smile, when he's already squeezing me. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT!? IF-IF YOU NEED TO CRY MORE, YOU CAN USE MY SHOULDERS AND MY ARMS ALL YOU LIKE!"

I hug him with the same strength, chuckling a little. I should have known it would still show in my face. "Thank you, I'll definitely remember that. I'm okay now, so don't worry." He gently places me on the ground.

"OH NO! YOU LOOK TIRED! I-I BROUGHT YOU WATER IN CASE YOU MIGHT WANT SOME."

"Papyrus, this is…" My eyes dart between him and the bottled water in my hands. I have no words for his thoughtfulness and before I even think, I kiss him on the cheekbone and gobble down the precious liquid. "Thank you! Oh! How did the rally go!?""

Then I think about my actions.

An adorable orange glow appears on Papyrus' face as he absent-mindedly takes his hand to the spot I kissed.

"It…" Oops. "IT-IT WENT GREAT! YES! G-GREAT! WE HAD SO MUCH FUN! WE HAD TO MAKE RANDOM MONSTERS IN HOTLAND SMILE, BUT ALPHYS COULDN'T DETERMINE WHO WON BECAUSE Er- We Sort Of Ended Up Working Like A Team. N-Nyeh…" He grins sheepishly. "Sorry?"

I laugh. "That's _so_ much better! Something worthy of the Great Papyrus!"

"N-Nyeeh"

"You should've seen coward here- I mean, Caroline. Quite the show." Undyne nudges me with her elbow playfully and I smile at the sound of my name.

"OH YES, WE ALL DID!"

Both of our mouths drop. "What?!"

"WELL, IT TURNS OUT METTATON'S BEEN BROADCASTING ALL THE CHALLENGES WITH HIDDEN CAMERAS! THAT'S WHY THE PRIZES WERE ALL METTATON'S. I KNOW! I JUST FOUND OUT TOO!" Papyrus is beaming but I feel freezing cold. "OUR RALLY ONLY LASTED FIFTEEN MINUTES, SO WE WATCHED YOU ON T.V. I WANTED TO INTERVENE SO BAD! I'M SO SORRY I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU! BUT ALPHYS AND GERSON WOULDN'T LET ME. OH! And Caroline," he fidgets, and scratches the back of his skull, "There's- There's Something You Should Know…"

THERE'S MORE!? I'm not even done processing everything else. "Wh-what is it?"

"So," Alphys says, walking towards us with Gerson and Frisk. The latter waves at Undyne and I, making me want to squeeze them in my arms. "I-I-I don't know if P-Papyrus told you, but um… this was a tie, so you, Undyne and Caroline, are the decisive elements. Since you two also arrived at the same time, oh, uh, you two have to choose who the winner is. But both of you have to agree with the choice."

"That's easy." I snort. "Undyne's-"

"I broke the rules." Undyne crosses her arms. "This is the human's victory."

I blink in shock. "Excuse me? But I'm the one who got lost and I pretty much walked all the way here. I wasn't supposed to do that. Look, I've got my list here."

Undyne shrugs. "I wasn't supposed to use my hands or run. I wanted the gross and infernal weeping to stop and I didn't have the patience to find any lamps, so I used my phone to find you."

After two seconds of shock I laugh, shaking my head. Boy, did I misread you. "You deserve to win this time, Undyne. Honestly."

"Tell you what, Alphys and old man." She turns to the flushed yellow dinosaur, and to a smirking Gerson. If I had to tell by his look, he planned all of this. "It's a tie."

Alphys smiles, blushing more while Gerson lets out a belly laugh. "I told you gals this'd be promisin'." He says, wiping a tear from his eye, a huge grin plastered on his face. _Wise, tricky, old man. I knew it!_ "Wah hah hah! A tie it is, then." He and Alphys exchange glances, both looking surprisingly pleased.

Gerson turns to the eager audience and clears his throat, Alphys giving him a microphone. "Listen everyone! It's a tie! Both teams win!"

There is a cacophony of applause and cheering, whooping and hollering. A palpable excitement buzzes through the charged air, along with infectious grins. If this were a human competition, people would be far from excited, they would be asking for a tie-breaker.

This only happens in the Underground.

Extremely glad, but tremendously puzzled, I look at Papyrus who's jumping up and down before he takes me by the waist and spins me in the air, making me squeal in joy.

"THAT MEANS BOTH TEAMS GET A WISH! WE GET OUR WISH!"

"We- we do!? Really!?"

"YES! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!"

I giggle as he brings me back to his arms for another hug.

"Thank you! B-But I didn't exactly win. I didn't beat Undyne." I murmur against his chest.

Papyrus pulls me closer. His hugs always have the right amount of strength and gentleness. "I Said You Could Do It, I Didn't Specify How. I Knew You Could Do It In Your Own Way." He then pulls away, softly tapping the tip of my nose with that heart-melting smile of his. "And You Did."

Feeling the corners of my lips curl, I take a deep, shaky breath.

"Hey, Papyrus and not-coward. You already chose your wish? You'd better make it count 'cause next time you won't be so lucky." Undyne smirks and I feel something wrap around my hips.

"Frisk!" With a huge grin, I crouch to give them a proper hug.

"ACTUALLY WE HAVEN'T DECIDED YET. Caroline, Is There Something On Your Mind?"

"Yes! There is!" I jolt, all traces of indecisiveness lost, as I eagerly whisper something to Papyrus. I notice Undyne's smile waver.

"W-WOWIE! R-R-REALLY!?" Papyrus gaps and I nod proudly. "YES! OF COURSE I AGREE! T-TELL THEM! TELL THEM!"

I walk to Undyne, her expression unreadable. I grin. "Our wish is… for you and Frisk to help us find a way to break the barrier." She steps back. " _Without_ ," I lift a finger "sacrificing human souls, or any kind of soul for that matter." She looks completely baffled and I extend my hand to her. "Deal?"

"…You…" Undyne blinks several times. "…you won't leave?"

"Undyne, after what you told me, how could I?" I grimace. "I… I can't just leave you here. I'm never going to be able to live with myself if I do. There _must_ be a way to break the barrier without innocent people dying and without more pain, we just have to look harder. Let me help."

A flicker of sadness, vulnerability and hope crosses her face. Then her toothy smirk is back in place. "Guess I was a good influence for you. What do you say Frisk? Should we grant the wish of these punks?"

***You smile and tell Undyne that's what you wanted from the beginning.**

Undyne laughs and shakes my hand. "You've got your wish. Deal."

"Deal." I repeat gladly.

"Now it's our turn." Undyne smirk grows and a part of my heart suddenly feels very insecure. She exchanges mischievous glances with Frisk.

"So, What's Your Wish? I'm Sure Caroline And I Can Make It Happen Without A Problem!"

Frisk stifles a giggle. Something's not right.

"You bet! Human…" Undyne crosses her arms defiantly. I don't know what to expect.

"…you have to go on a date with Papyrus."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG A DATEEEEE! So what do you think? Caroline finally knows what's with the fuss about human souls.
> 
> To write this chapter I got inspired by my own feelings playing Undertale when I got to the Waterfall part. I'll never forget the way I felt my heart was being squeezed when I read the ancient glyphs the first time I played, explaining all the story, how humans feared monsters, the conversations of the echo flowers in the wishing room and how much monsters had suffered and wished to go back the surface, etc.
> 
> To me the Waterfall theme itself conveys everything the monsters felt as a result of the war and then what happened to Asriel. The song, the ancient glyphs and the scenary made me tear up when I played Undertale. That track sends chills running down my spine. To me that song truly feels like despair, tears, darkness, laments, unfairness, innocent beings suffering and all those things I described in this chapter. Toby Fox is a genius, honestly. For whatever reason the music kept making me think of victims of abuse (especially domestic abuse, I don't know why) and all those people that feel voiceless and excluded. I think that emotional imprint suits how monsters must have felt. It was horrible when I was playing UT and got lost in the dark room because I didn't reach a lamp on time, and I was trapped listening to the haunting, powerful, heartbreaking music over and over again. I kept imagining what the monsters would've felt like if all of it were real. And then the glyph said that monsters had nothing to guide them, and were lost in the dark and that was the cherry on top of the cake. This whole game was a powerful experience for me, I love the music so much and WOW, THE FEELS.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys are doing great.


	15. Beauty is feeling comfortable in your own skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've all been great! I've been super busy! I have a new job and I really like it but it has taken a lot of my time.
> 
> In case you don't remember, Caroline is 5'7'' tall.
> 
> Enjoy!

I can't even bat an eye.

I toss and turn but just can't find the right position. At least it doesn't seem to bother Frisk, since they've been long asleep next to me.

 _A date,_ I repeat in my head for the millionth time _._

_A date with Papyrus._

My heart swells with many emotions. After today I should be exhausted but my mind is extremely awake. It's supposed to be cold outside yet my ears and cheeks feel so hot to the touch.

A date with Papyrus.

I throw the blanket over my face, repressing the urge to throw a fit in the bed.

… _His bed._

My grip on the blanket tightens as I swallow back a schoolgirl scream and press my eyes shut.

What have I gotten myself into?

The rest of the evening it was just plain awkward between us. We all went to Grillby's to celebrate like we said we would, but Papyrus and I barely talked to each other. Or more like _stuttered_ to each other. We quickly looked away every time our eyes met and of course, you know, with Papyrus being so secretive about his emotions and all, nobody noticed the orANGE SKULL LAMP BRIGHTER THAN GRILLBY HIMSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PUB.

But somehow the awkwardness didn't stop him from being the cute and kind skeleton he is. As soon as we came back to his house, he prepared a guest room for Frisk and I in his garage and brought us his race-car bed. At this point you should know that it didn't matter how much I insisted we could sleep on the couch or even stay at the inn so we didn't bother them.

Except it was my turn to say no to the inn when Papyrus agreed we'd be more comfortable there but was betrayed by his sad eyes.

Don't get me wrong, it was still a lot of fun at Grillby's with Sans, Alphys, Undyne, Frisk and the cute light bulb that tomorrow will be my date, but now I can't help but wonder how our friendship is going to change because of this. I mean… do I want it to change? Now I can't help but wonder if he'll feel uncomfortable with me tomorrow or… what if he gets bored of me like people usually do? What if I have nothing interesting to say? _Pfft, no!_ Come on! I may not have anything interesting to say when it comes to talking to other humans, but this is Papyrus we're talking about! I can tell him about human life and it will be okay! He's easy to talk to. But… oh my God, what am I going to wear? Are monster dates like human dates? 'Cause if they are then…

I'M SCREWED-!

Letting out a tired sigh, I uncover my face and stare at the bare ceiling of the garage.

What the hell's wrong with me? Why am I acting like a teenager? It's a date. That's it. It doesn't even mean anything, it's not like _he_ asked me out. This was Undyne's and Frisk's idea in the first place!

_Even if I wish it hadn't been._

…

….

Oh man.

….

…

I _do_ like Papyrus.

* * *

The voice of my dreams left me alone for that night. Something that worried me yet I guiltily admit was highly appreciated. Not waking up to fear, shivers and that strange, creepy sensation in my arms was a nice change.

But it wasn't too different from waking up to shouting and ten loud bangs on the door.

"HEY! NOT-COWARD! COME OUT, WE'VE GOT STUFF TO DO! FUHUHUUU!"

I take a few seconds to recover and still my frantic heart. Registering the noise as Undyne's voice I bury my face in my hands in relief as I sit on the floor, having fallen from scare-jumping. Unlike me, Frisk giggles from the comfort of the bed.

"Undyne! Wh-what if she's s-s-sleeping?! Humans need more r-rest than monsters!"

"…Oh. Uh, right. HEY, NOT-COWARD! YOU STILL ASLEEP?!"

It's in that moment that my own chuckles join Frisk's even though my heart feels like it might jump out of my throat any minute.

"Nope! I'm pretty much awake!" I say in a sing-song voice. "Give me three minutes!"

* * *

Frisk went to the skele-house with the pretext of letting the skeletons know I went out with Alphys and Undyne. I say _pretext_ because there was something odd about Frisk's aura.

And by odd I mean _mischievous_.

My ex-nemesis didn't let me do the same, saying we had no time to waste.

"So, uh, where are we going?" I ask Undyne and Alphys as we walk in the snow towards who-knows-where.

"To train you of course! You wanna have fun today, right?" Undyne says with a wink, nudging me lightly with her elbow and wiggling her eyebrows.

"Wh-what?" Aaaand here comes the blush. "I-I thought we were going to investigate the barrier thing! And wh-what do you mean by training?" WHAT. HAVE. I. GOTTEN. MYSELF. INTO.

"You and Papyrus have to make Frisk's wish and mine come true first! That's my condition to not capture you. Then we can investigate all you want." She crosses her arms proudly.

"D-don't worry too much, Caroline. Actually this is what you would call, um, girl time?" Alphys offers me a sheepish smile. "We th-thought it could help you uh, relax for your date."

I blink twice before letting out a laugh. "Girl time you say?" My laugh is weak at first, but then it grows to the point there are tears in my eyes.

"What? You don't like it?" Undyne lifts an eyebrow while Alphys looks to the ground, embarrassed.

"Oh no, no, no, that's not it at all." With a huge grin I wipe the little tears from my eyes. Pointlessly, since they keep coming out and the girls seem worried when they notice.

"It's just that I've wanted to have one of those for a long time."

* * *

I picture Undyne smirking from somewhere in the dark.

"No but seriously, in case you didn't notice it yesterday, I don't like darkness. This isn't my idea of girl time." I say not wanting to stand up from the chair. We're supposed to be in Alphys' lab. The problem is, as soon as I put a foot inside, the lights went out and this chair is the only place that seems safe to me.

More like the first thing I ran into and won't let go.

"U-undyne, she seems s-scared, maybe we shouldn't-"

A light suddenly turns on right above my head, revealing Undyne and Alphys with black coats and sunglasses. I can't help but yelp and almost fall off the chair. "Not-coward… answer this. Do you like Papyrus?"

I squint "Wh-what?"

"And you know _exactly_ what I mean! So just say yes or no. Do you _like_ Papyrus?"

That's what this is about? I'm being interrogated? Dammit. I hide my lips. "I don't know."

I expect to see disappointment or angry faces. Instead all I see are these huge and villainous smirks out of a comic book.

"HAHAHAAHA I KNEW IT!"

"I-I said I don't know."

"Your face says otherwise, not-coward! So? You gonna confess or what?" Undyne nudges me with her elbow. Alphys takes the other side of the chair and her expectant, smirky grin is inches away from my face.

"And I-I noticed you didn't answer r-right away." Alphys giggles.

Between the two I can only sink in my seat. "W-w-well, that's Undyne's fault! Ever since she suggested the date thing I can't see Papyrus the same way! I mean, I'm not saying there wasn't anything else before, but-but-but now I can't dismiss it and keep pretending it's nothing! S-so yeah." I avert their gazes, my voice quieter. "I may have a tiny, little crush on The Great Papyrus. Happy now?"

"YES!" Alphys pumps her fist in the air, startling me while Undyne lets out another cackle.

"Y-you're making me more nervous! Stop it!" I chuckle although if I had a pillow, I'd throw it at them.

"You just made t-two shippers really h-happy!" Alphys clasps her hands together, before turning to Undyne. "We g-got her to confess! Wh-what's next in the agenda?"

"We train her, of course! Duh!" Undyne says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Her fangirl stance changes to that of a general and her eye focuses on me. "Love is a war and now you're a soldier! Your training begins now!"

I laugh incredulously. A love soldier? "How are you going to train me?" Undyne's determination doesn't diminish.

"We won't start until you agree that Sergeant Alphys and I are in charge! Understood?"

I laugh again. This sounds HELLA. FUN.

"Sir, yes, sir!" I salute, a huge grin plastered on my face. Alphys snickers and Undyne looks pleased.

"Good. But first things first. A soldier isn't a soldier…" She smirks.

"…without armor."

* * *

"Okay. No. Uh uh." I shake my head. "This isn't what I meant. Training's over."

"HAHAHA! C'mon, Caroline, we're just beginning." Undyne smirks. "Just pick an outfit and try it on!"

"But isn't this too much?" I look at the rack of clothes, a familiar insecurity growing inside me. "Buying a new outfit for the date, I mean? I feel like I'm giving it too much importance. Papyrus didn't even ask me out, so he probably won't dress up and I don't want to stand out. Knowing him I'd probably make him uncomfortable, he'd feel guilty if I put too much effort into this and he doesn't… And won't he take it the wrong way since he and Sans had already bought me clothes? I really don't want to make this more awkward than it already is, you know? He…" I lower my gaze "…he hasn't been the same since hearing about your wish-"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"U-Undyne!"

Undyne snorts. "Sorry, Alph." Controlling her laughter, she pats my back a little too strongly. "Not-coward, I know Paps. Trust me, if someone's gonna be underdressed it'll always be you no matter what."

"Really? How can you be so sure?" My eyes widen. "Oh my God, does he go out on dates often?"

"You don't have to worry about that C-Caroline." Alphys giggles. "Choose your um, armor."

"Yeah! What's the hold up?"

"You don't know how many times I wished I could go shopping with friends. Everyone always seemed to have a lot of fun doing it..." I smile before I lower my gaze.

Like them, I wish this was easy for me too.

I… I want to feel feminine. I'll never forget the time we had to dress up for a school presentation in junior high and I jokingly told my friend we'd look dashing and she laughed, saying I wasn't stylish. I remember the time my mom paid me a gorgeous and expensive new haircut for my 14th birthday so that I could impress my crush and "friends" and one of them said "Wow, you look great" and another said "duh, that's because she got rid of her Caroline-ness" and I stupidly laughed it off.

Or more recently, when my college classmates (all girls) were discussing how being attractive and sexy is in women's nature, and one of them suddenly looked at me as if I were a puppy and said "aw, well, except for Caroline!"

"Nuh uh. _EVEN_ Caroline!"

I don't know how to be girly and feminine, much less _sexy_. Even though deep down I wish I knew. Guys rarely give me a second glance. I've always been the tall, nerdy, zero make-up girl. And nobody seems to like tall girls, everyone finds the weightless, petit ones cute and adorable. It's always been that way for me, at least. I know there are taller girls than me, but where I live it's not that common. In my experience taller girls are only appreciated if they're sporty, and although I consider myself to be kinda thin, my body's far from athletic.

I don't want to turn into someone superficial that only cares about their appearance, but if I'm completely honest with myself, deep down I always feel inferior, stupid and ugly compared to other girls. Bigger. Heavier. Unattractive. Dull.

Maybe that's why I like to dance. I'm no pro yet when I dance, I get to feel graceful and at peace with my body for whatever the song lasts. For those few minutes I am pretty and feminine. Sometimes flirty. Sometimes badass.

And sometimes even sexy, in spite of it being just me dancing alone around my room.

"But?" Undyne adds with exasperation, rolling her eyes.

I blink, coming back to reality. "I… I don't know a lot about fashion. I don't spend too much time shopping and my style is… weird? Well, not _weird_ , just not exactly trendy… See? I don't even know how to describe it! That's how little I know about these things! I always go for what's comfy and maybe a little cute, depending on my mood but I'm not as girly as the others... So, that's my warning. A little heads up." I force myself to chuckle.

I've always wanted to try shopping with friends. Although right now it's... scary. It's new for me to have someone else witness my choice of clothes _while_ I'm buying them. It's incredibly intimidating and threatening.

Alphys smiles kindly at me. "It-it's okay. Our p-purpose is to have fun. I don't know about t-trends either heh. Um… I'll try clothes on too!"

I return her knowing smile. This isn't easy for me. Alphys understands.

"Dude, do I look like I give a crap what your damn style is? Just pick a stupid outfit you like already so that we can see how it looks on you!"

I laugh out loud. It seems Undyne found the most effective way to untangle the knot in my throat. She's right, though. Neither she nor Alphys seem to care about my style. "Guys." They genuinely just want to have fun during the process of trying on random clothes and giggle around. "Let's get ourselves some armor."

* * *

After a long photo-shoot of cute and extravagant clothes with Undyne and Alphys our modeling careers ended, not without pain in my abs from laughing so hard.

We had the most awesome runway. It went from looking like an anime character to actually trying on pretty clothes. The best part was pretending to be fashion designers and choose funny, ridiculous outfits for each other. Alphys promised to keep our photos safe.

And they both kept their word. No judgement. No criticism. Only compliments, ridiculousness and good-hearted jokes. In fact, I don't think I've ever felt so free to try clothes on. No shame. No insecurity. And no underlying annoyment at myself.

Oh boy I did not remember what having girl time was like.

Nor had I realized how much I truly missed it.

The easy camaraderie. The welcoming of daily life's embarrassments and awkwardness to the point those words cease to exist. That unconditional, sisterly acceptance and the freedom it brings. The carefree laughs. The trust. The sisterhood feeling.

The belonging.

Maybe that's why a lot of women do this kind of thing in groups. With the right people, vanity is a lot of fun.

"We've got our armors. Well done, soldier!" Undyne laughs with a _fuhuhuh_ as we enter into 'our headquarters.'

"Thank you, Sergeant Undyne!" I salute with a grin and a wink, happy about my new light blue sweater and white skirt. They look good with the black leggings and boots I already had.

"Oh my God, wait…" I find myself completely captivated by my surroundings. "This is your lab, Alphys?" I really couldn't look at it before since I was, you know, a hostage. I stare at the pale green walls, the huge, HUGE screen, the fridge, the desk with a computer, and lots of papers and figurines. I know it's a lab but there's something playful and a little goofy about this place.

"I don't think I've ever been in a lab before… Alphys, it's really cool!"

"You-you think? Heh. Um… thanks?" Alphys smiles with a blush.

"Pfft and you haven't even seen the good stuff yet! C'mon, punk!" Undyne excitedly pulls me to the electric stairs. She doesn't even bother to wait, jumping two steps at a time, almost killing me in the process.

I gasp.

Playful and a little goofy: HERE IT IS.

"This is… it's so pretty and cute and awesome!" There are pink anime posters, more figurines, a wardrobe, a table with some kind of robot and there's even an ice cream machine. How intelligent do you have to be to build all of this? No wonder she's the Royal Scientist! "This is so original... I like anime too, heh. I haven't watched too much of it lately but I'd love to catch up and hear some recommendations- Oh! What kind of books do you like to read?" I run to one of the bookcases, expecting to see a bunch of science books I won't understand.

"Oh, that! P-please don't-!"

"Human History?!" I gasp. "You're interested in humans too?!" I open the book to eye it a bit.

Only to feel my smile freeze at the sight of… a giant robot fighting an alien princess? Is this a comic?

I lift my gaze.

"Human History's cool, I give you that. Alph has told me all about it. I guess I was pissed at you for not being like one of those badass ancestors of yours. Sorry." Undyne laughs, but I can't stop staring at the red Alphys behind her silently begging me to play along.

Huh.

"Uh…? Y-yeah, sure. I… I totally get why you'd be disappointed meeting me. Don't worry about it." I force out a chuckle.

"Nah, you're not _that_ bad." I smile as she waves her hand dismissively. "Well, not-coward. Let's do what we came here to do."

"Oh right! Girl time- I mean, training." I clasp my hands together. "So, what do we do now?"

Alphys and Undyne exchange mischievous glances.

"Combat training!"

I swallow.

I swallow ice cream and popcorn because we spend the next two hours eating, fangirling and watching romantic, shojo anime in Alphys' room.

* * *

(Papyrus' POV)

"I… NO! I CANNOT DO THIS!"

I PACE BACK AND FORTH (WITH ELEGANCE OF COURSE!). IT'S THE FIFTH TIME I TRY AND FAIL TO KNOCK ON THOSE DOORS.

"i'm sure it'll be alright, bro." SANS AND THE TINY HUMAN GRIN. "you memorized the dating rulebook and you watched chick flicks all night. you'll be fine."

" _FINE_ IS NOT _GREAT_! AND TH-THOSE WERE D-DOCUMENTARIES, SANS! I TOLD YOU IT WAS EXCLUSIVELY FOR R-RESEARCH!" I CROSS MY ARMS. OF COURSE MY BROTHER WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND MY INTELLECTUALLY SUPERIOR METHODS! THE NOTEBOOK, PRINCESS BRIDE, ENCHANTED, HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN TEN DAYS, 50 FIRST DATES AND PRIDE AND PREJUDICE WERE VERY INFORMATIVE!

"heh. suuuuuure. anyway, you've got this. you wanna go on this date, right?"

"I D-DO! B-BUT WHAT IF…?" I LOOK DOWN TO MY BLACK SHOES, TOYING WITH MY FINGERS, WORRY AND FEAR FILLING MY BONES. THIS ISN'T NORMAL! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME TODAY? "…WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T THINK I'M… COOL?"

"nah." SANS SMILES SIMILARLY TO WHEN HE IS ABOUT TO TELL ONE OF HIS HORRIBLE PUNS. "you're the coolest. caroline's a smart kid, she'll see that."

"…YOU REALLY THINK S-SO?"

FRISK NODS IN AGREEMENT. I'D NORMALLY AGREE TOO, I _AM_ THE GREAT PAPYRUS AFTER ALL! B-BUT…

WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T THINK I'M THAT GREAT?

MY HAND HOVERS OVER THE DOORS, SHAKING… NO! I MUST BE STRONG! SHE WILL NEVER LIKE ME IF I ACT LIKE A BABYBONES! AND IF I IMPRESS HER, MAYBE IT COULD LEAD TO… IT COULD LEAD TO…

… **A S-S-SECOND DATE?!**

MY CHEEKBONES ARE BURNING LIKE THEY'RE ON FLAMES! OH NO! I AM NOT PREPARED ENOUGH! WHY DIDN'T I STUDY MORE?!

_*Knock knock knock*_

I NOTICE MY HAND STILL IN THE AIR. MY JOINTS FREEZE. MY KNEES WOBBLE AND I GASP IN ABSOLUTE HORROR AS I REALIZE WHAT THAT INFERNAL, DEATH-SENTENCE-LIKE SOUND WAS.

"S-SANS! WH-WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

* * *

(Caroline's POV)

"Aaaand your camouflage is r-ready!"

Alphys finishes my mascara, looking pretty excited. I'm excited too. I knew trusting her was the right thing to do when she said a Mew Mew Kissy Cutie inspired makeup would be perfect for me and that she wouldn't use too much of it. Sounds like something I would do for myself but without the mess and my total lack of skill. I can't apply liquid eyeliner to save my life.

"Woah, looking ready for the battle, soldier! Great job, Alph!" Undyne gives me a thumbs up and a toothy grin. Blushing, Alphys hands me a hand mirror. For a second, I'm afraid of looking into it and not liking what I see, not necessarily because of Alphys' skills, but then…

"…Alphys you are… Ahahah!" I can't remove my eyes from the mirror. The girl I'm looking at is smiling a lot. Her long, dark blonde hair frames her face and she has a natural look, eyeliner and pink gloss. I know her dark brown eyes haven't looked this gleeful and alive in a while. Excited. Excitement looks good in everyone. I missed seeing it in my own face. "I love it, Alphys. Thank you. I mean it."

"Oh, it-it's nothing." She smiles sheepishly.

_*Knock knock knock*_

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!" I frantically whisper at Undyne and Alphys, jumping out of the chair while my heart has lost all kind of control. "WHAT DO I DO?!"

"Shhhhhh! This isn't a simulacrum, so you gotta do your best, soldier! This is what your training's been for!"

"Okay." I say shakily.

"Caroline, a-are you ready?" Alphys comes closer to the doors.

I nod. Screw it. Let's just do it and see how it goes.

Alphys grins excitedly and clears her throat before asking a little too melodically, "Who is it~?"

A couple of seconds go in complete silence. A couple of seconds that allow me to hear my pulse banging in my ears.

"H-HELLO! UM… IT'S- IT'S ME! THE GREAT PAP- I MEAN, PAPYRUS! _AHEM!_ I-I WAS HOPING, IF IT WOULD NOT T-TROUBLE YOU N-NYEH, THAT I MIGHT SOLICIT A P-PRIVATE AUDIENCE WITH CAROLINE…? P-PLEASE?"

My hands are covering my mouth and I can't lower them. God, I must be so freaking red.

It doesn't help that Undyne had to get a pillow to drown her explosive laughter.

Luckily for me Alphys has a lot more self-control, in spite of her huge grin. I notice her taking two slow, deep breaths before speaking, though. "N-no problem. I'll call her for you. Wait a moment, please~ " Locking her gaze with mine, her smile impossibly widens, desperately motioning for me to get out of the lab.

I close my eyes. Okay, this is it. Just… be yourself and have fun? Yeah, that has to work. I think it's what my mom would have told me. Soon I'll tell her all about my adventure here in the Underground. Guides, I can't hear you right now, but if you're there, please help? Okay. I can do this… Here I come.

I stand behind the doors, quickly adjusting my clothes and waiting for Alphys and Undyne to finish hiding as they snort and uncontrollably giggle. "Shhhhhhh!" Eyes wide open, I take my index finger to my lips feeling a silly grin of my own. _NOOO! I'm weak too!_ I wiggle my toes while they both try harder (and miserably fail) to keep it down. Undyne quickly throws me my First Aid Kit and equipment (my purse).

Then the doors open.

And boy, Undyne was right.

He did dress up.

That thought alone makes me blush.

He is wearing dark jeans, a white shirt and a black jacket that brings out the width of his chest and shoulders. And of course, his signature red scarf around his neck that resembles his bright orange cheekbones.

Black suits Papyrus.

He meets my eyes for the briefest of seconds making butterflies flutter around my stomach.

"Hi." I say a little breathlessly with a tiny smile.

"NYYEEH!"

Shit.

He blushes even more. I hide my lips to bite back my growing smile.

**Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.**

"I MEAN, H-HI! OH! UH… DEAR CAROLINE! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!" He clears his throat and looks at his feet. Oh heavens, I can feel his embarrassment.

What's worse: I can feel my _own_ embarrassment.

"I KNOW WE M-MUST GRANT UNDYNE'S AND THE SMALLER HUMAN'S WISH! H-HOWEVER! I… I DO NOT WANT YOU TO THINK I AM ONLY DOING THIS FOR THAT REASON. S-SO..." He inhales, lifting his chin in a slightly forceful way. My heart jumps in anticipation.

That is until he suddenly takes my hand and drops to one knee, replacing the graceful butterflies fluttering inside me with scrEAMING MONKEYS FROM HELL-

"CAROLINE, YOU… YOU ARE MY MOST RECENT FRIEND AND I HAVE A GREAT TIME WITH YOU. I THINK YOU ARE FUN, SMART, P-PRETTY AND ALSO VERY NICE! I REALLY WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU MORE! UM… WILL YOU… W-WILL YOU DO ME THE H-HONOR OF… GOING OUT ON A D-DATE… WITH ME? NYEH?" At the last second he drops his gaze, his blush deepening just like mine. But then he gasps. "IFYOUDON'TWANTTOIUNDERSTAND,WECOULDHANGOUTINSTEAD!IDON'TWANTYOUTOFEELLIKEYOUMUSTDOTHISIT'SOKAY-"

"I'd love to go on a date with you, Papyrus. I'm glad, I… I feel the same way." I resist the urge to clutch my heart with my free hand as if he just proposed to me. I smile as angelically as I can. Mentally all I hear is _**ADASDASLKFJAKSJDLKASJDLEQWEYT**_

"N-NYEEEEH." He smiles sheepishly. THIS IS THE CUTEST, BESTEST WAY SOMEONE'S EVER ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE.

"V-VERY WELL!" He stands up, puffing out his chest and I can feel his nerves slowly turn into enthusiasm. "I PROMISE I WON'T BETRAY YOUR EXPECTATIONS! WE SHALL HAVE A GREAT DATE!"

I giggle. "Of course we will!"

"L-LET US GO THEN!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Next chapter is the rest of the date. I don't know if I should add a whole chapter of the date from Paps' pov. He is a lot of fun to write but a bit difficult for me. I think I might do it.
> 
> Thanks to everyone that has reviewed/subscribed/left kudos and/or reads my fic! All of you make me smile. I hope you're all having fun and if you're not feeling well, then I hope you find comfort and good company in difficult times. I'm sending you hugs.


	16. Dating start!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! I'M BACK!!   
> So these months have been very difficult. Many ups and downs, so it was really hard for me to get into the right mood to write this chapter. 
> 
> I want to dedicate this chapter to InkForOne. Seriously, your beautiful fanart inspired me when I needed it the most. You encouraged me to keep writing and not just that, but you helped me feel appreciated too. You made me feel like my story was worth writing it in the times I thought it was pointless and it made no difference. I can't thank you enough. (Links to InkForOne's awesome fanart at the end of the chapter!)
> 
> A quick summary since it's been so long: Caroline fell into the Underground, became friends with Papyrus and Sans and participated in the monster Challenges against Undyne for a chance to save her own soul and Frisk's. The winner got a wish and since it was a tie, Undyne's and Frisk's wish was for Caroline and Papyrus to go on a date. Last chapter was about her befriending Alphys and Undyne, and preparing for the date. So here it is!
> 
> And by the way, this is more or less her outfit:  
> https://ak1.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/cid/141592061/id/7kGb68515BGV-TF0Xi33Qg/size/y.jpg
> 
>  
> 
> Sooooo here's the chapter!

“YOU HAVE NEVER ICE SKATED BEFORE?”

I look at snow in the ground, weakly shaking my head from one side to the other. “I know. Embarrassing, right?”

There’s a long pause. I knew it. He’s disappointed.

 “CAROLINE.  LISTEN TO ME.” My heart skips a beat when he lifts my chin. His handsome face inches away from mine. “YOU **NEVER** HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED AROUND ME. I LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE.”  His eyes are serious. Far more serious and intense than I’ve ever seen them before. I’m blushing madly. “YOU ARE MY DATE. IF SO IS YOUR WISH, IT WILL BE MY HONOR TEACH YOU HOW TO ICE SKATE.”

I gasp. “You… you will?” My heart beats so wildly I can barely think. He nods with that proud smile that leaves me speechless every time. “Papyrus, I… Thank you. Th-thank you! This is… I think this is the best day of my life!” I grin through my happy tears. He nods in understanding. “I can’t believe it! It feels like you came out of a romantic movie.”

Papyrus smiles, kindly wiping the tears from my face. “THAT IS BECAUSE I SPENT LAST NIGHT MEMORIZING THE DIALOGUES OF ROMANTIC MOVIES.”

“You did that” I stare at him in disbelief and happy tears threaten to come out again, “for me?”

 “CAROLINE, I WOULD EAT SOMETHING GREASY AT GRILLBY’S FOR YOU.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Oh Papyrus! I… I can’t control myself around you! Would you- would you like to… “My voice turns into a whisper. I bite my lower lip. No. I can’t hide this any longer. “…Would you like to hold hands with me?”

“C-CAROLINE!”

“I know! I know! Everything’s happening so fast and my mind is asking me to take things slowly, b-but! but I can’t hold these feelings back anymore! I’m powerless against your charms! And I’m not just saying this because of your spaghetti!”

 “I KNOW IT’S  DIFFICULT TO RESIST ME… I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU, CAROLINE, BUT…” Papyrus looks down to his closed fist before passionately gazing into the distance. “WE MUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET TO STEP NUMBER 5 OF THE OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK IF WE WANT THIS TO WORK.”

I’m breathless. Such deep wisdom. I knew my heart was right from the start. This is the skeleton I want to have a second date with. No… maybe… maybe even more dates. “Papyrus… You’re… you’re so mature. Like always, you’re right. I’m so lucky!”

“NO, CAROLINE. I’M THE LUCKY ONE.”

I sigh dreamily before he opens the door of his car for me and we drive into the sunset to look for puzzles to solve.

 

* * *

 

MY.

GOD.

BOY, IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST ME??

OH N-NO! I MUST FOCUS! _FOCUS!_  I MUST MAKE A GREAT IMPRESSION ON HER!

 _AHHHH! I’M SO NERVOUS!_ NO, NO, NO. **NO.** WHAT AM I THINKING?! I CANNOT BE NERVOUS!! I’M THE _GREAT PAPYRUS!_

I AM IMPOSSIBLY HANDSOME! A PUZZLE GENIUS! A CHEF! AND I WILL SOON BE PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD! NYEH HEH HEH! OH! AND IF THAT’S NOT IRRESISTIBLE ENOUGH, MY ONLINE PERSONA IS ONLY A DOZEN FOLLOWERS AWAY FROM DOUBLE DIGITS!  I’M PRACTICALLY A **_CELEBRITY_**!!

I AM WHAT YOU CALL A CATCH. A KEEPER. A DREAMBOAT. A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. I CANNOT HELP IT! I WAS SIMPLY BORN THIS WAY! IT’S IN MY BONES!  MY DATING POWER HAS NO MATCH!! AND I WON’T NAME MORE OF MY QUALITIES BECAUSE I AM ALSO A HUMBLE SKELETON! AND ACCORDING TO THE OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK THAT IS A VERY ATTRACTIVE QUALITY!

_*SIGH*_

BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS ANYMORE.

EVERYTHING WAS SO SIMPLE UNTIL I MADE THE MOST UNFORTUNATE, TRAGIC DISCOVERY. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, DO NOT POSSESS THE GREAT HEALTH I USED TO HAVE. SOMETHING IS TERRIBLY WRONG!

A STRANGE DISEASE HAS CORRUPTED MY PRECIOUS BONES! ONE THAT KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE! I FOUND OUT TODAY, SO NOT EVEN MY BROTHER KNOWS. I SHALL SHARE MY MISFORTUNE WITH YOU.

I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE A STRONG ALLERGY.

TO CAROLINE, THE HUMAN.

_*SIGH*_

HORRIBLE, IS IT NOT? I FOUND OUT TODAY OF ALL DAYS! IN MY FIRST DATE! POOR PAPYRUS!

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO FIGURE IT OUT! EVERY TIME SHE IS PRESENT MY POOR HEART THROBS, MY HANDS SWEAT, I’M SHORT OF BREATH AND NO MATTER WHAT I DO MY CHEEKBONES ARE HOT! AN ALLERGY IS THE ONLY LOGICAL EXPLANATION!

AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE!

IT HAS EVEN INTERFERED WITH MY SPEECH AND MY COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS! MY ELOQUENT TONGUE ISN’T ELOQUENT ANYMORE! EVERY WORD I SAY FEELS STUPID! AND FOCUSING HAS NEVER BEEN SO DIFFICULT!

I’M USUALLY CONFIDENT BUT THIS ALLERGY IS MAKING ME ACT SO UNLIKE MYSELF!

HOW AM I GOING TO IMPRESS HER WITHOUT THESE GALLANT TRAITS THAT CHARACTERIZE _ME,_ THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SO MUCH?!

BUT I CANNOT GIVE INTO DESPAIR. I MUST BE PERSEVERANT!

I THINK MY ALLERGY WAS THERE FROM THE START, BUT IT’S GROWN SINCE WE’VE BEEN SPENDING ALL THIS TIME TOGETHER. I’M NO DOCTOR BUT EVERYONE KNOWS THE LONGER YOU EXPOSE YOURSELF TO THAT YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO, THE MORE DANGER!

I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE LEFT, THIS ALLERGY MIGHT BE LETHAL! SO YOU MUST LISTEN TO MY STORY WHILE I STILL CAN COMMUNICATE IT.

YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING WHEN I FIRST REALIZED THIS.

WELL.

IT WAS FIVE MINUTES AGO.

* * *

 

(At the start of the date)

NOT A WORD.

NOT.

A SINGLE.

WORD.

I CAN’T SPEAK. WE’VE BOTH BEEN SILENT SINCE WE LEFT ALPHYS’ LAB! I HAVE NO CONVERSATION TOPIC! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!  I AM AN INTERESTING SKELETON! I AM… RIGHT? NO! I MEAN, OF COURSE I AM! S-SO HOW COME I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO HER? WHY CAN’T I SPEAK?!

I TAKE A SIDEWAYS GLIMPSE…

SHE IS LOOKING AWAY!!

WH-WHAT DOES IT MEAN? AM I UGLY? DO I SMELL?!

O-OR MAYBE SHE THINKS I’M BORING! NOOO! I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING AND FAST! COME ON! THINK! THINK! THINK…! I KNOW!! THE OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK!!!

“S-SO, DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN?” _CURSES!_

CAROLINE MEETS MY GAZE FOR SEVERAL SECONDS. I’M STILL TOO TENSE AND EMBARRASSED BUT SOMETHING ABOUT HER EXPRESSION LOOKS SO RELIEVED. GRATEFUL, EVEN.

UNTIL SHE LAUGHS.

WAIT, I… I MADE HER LAUGH! I DIDN’T COMPLETELY EMBARRASS MYSELF! I MADE CAROLINE LAUGH! YES! I KNEW THE OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK WOULD NOT FAIL ME! ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS!

THERE'S SOMETHING SO SPECIAL IN THAT TINY-SMILE LOOK OF HERS. M-MY HEART! IT HASN’T STOPPED BEATING FAST! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I’VE BEEN NERVOUS BEFORE, B-BUT THIS IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING!

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say _often_ haha, but who knows, if you’re around then that could change.”

WAIT. DID SHE JUST SAY--?!

!!!!

I GULP.

“W-WE SHOULD H-H-HURRY!”

“O-okay? W-wait for me!”

I HEAR HER STEPS JOGGING BEHIND ME. M-MY CHEEKBONES… THEY’RE TOO HOT… AGAIN! THIS IS SO STRANGE! AM I SWEATING? OH NO! MY LEGS… W-WHY AM I WALKING SO QUICKLY? IS THIS- IS THIS HER DATING POWER?!

I STOP SO SHE CAN JOIN ME. WH-WHY CAN’T I CONTROL MYSELF TODAY???

 “Phew, so… you… you really want to get there, huh? Hehe…” CAROLINE PANTS AS SHE HALTS NEXT TO ME. “Wait.” SHE TILTS HER HEAD. “Do you hear that?”

“HUH?” I BLINK. “WHAT?”

WE KEEP SILENT. I TRY HARD TO LISTEN.

“Is that…” HER DARK BROWN EYES NARROW. “Jingle Bells?”

“J-JINGLE BELLS?”

“Yeah, you know, Jingle Bells. Listen. The chorus is about to begin….” WE KEEP QUIET AGAIN. I THINK I HEAR SOMETHING IN THE DISTANCE. “ _Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaay_ … I’d never heard this version but the tune is unmistakable, haha. Papyrus?”

OH NO.

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

WHY TODAY OF ALL DAYS???!!!!

EVERYTHING IS RUINED!! MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!

WHAT IS SNOWDIN’S CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL DOING HERE?!?!?! WASN’T IT UNTIL NEXT WEEK?!?!

HAVE I RUINED MY FIRST DATE WITH CAROLINE?!!!!!

NO!! I CANNOT GIVE INTO DESPAIR! I MUST BE PERSEVERANT!

“Look! What’s that?”

THIS TIME SHE RUNS AND I FOLLOW WITH WORRY EATING MY HEART AWAY! NOT LONG AFTER, SHE GASPS AS WE STAND IN THE SNOW FACING THE CHRISTMAS BOOTHS ALL AROUND SNOWDIN AND LISTENING TO THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC.  THAT’S NAPSTABLOOK’S WORK, I’M SURE. NORMALLY I’D BE DELIGHTED THAT THE CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL HAS BEEN MOVED BUT EVERYONE’S HERE! WILL CAROLINE BE COMFORTABLE WITH SO MANY MONSTERS?

 “AHEM… I THOUGHT OF ICE SKATING T-TOGETHER? I WASN’T AWARE THAT THE CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL WOULD BE TODAY… I APOLOGIZE IF-!“

SHE GRINS AT THE VIEW, NEARLY MAKING MY POOR HYPOTHETICAL HEART EXPLODE IN THE PROCESS. SHE LOOKS-! SHE LOOKS-!

DELIGHTED.

“Look at this, Papyrus! It’s like Santa’s magical Village or something! Look at all the booths and all the lights! It even smells like Christmas cookies. It’s so pretty and so… cozy. Cozier than it already was! And that’s saying something!”

SHE… SHE APPRECIATES IT! THE FESTIVAL! UNDYNE SAYS IT’S NOT THAT MUCH OF A BIG DEAL AND SANS ONLY LIKES THE CHRISTMAS PUNS, BUT CAROLINE…! CAROLINE IS EXCITED ABOUT IT! LIKE ME! SHE HAS A LIVELY GHOULIDAY SPIRIT!

“DO YOU… DO YOU WANT TO CHECK IT OUT?”

SHE LAUGHS. “YES! This looks so much fun! But, do _you_ want to check it out? We can choose a place we both like--”

“NYEH HEH HEH! CAROLINE, I LIKE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH THAT IN MY OPINION, THE ONLY FOOD THAT IS NEARLY AS GOOD AS PASTA IS… CHRISTMAS COOKIES! N-NYEH.”

SHE CHUCKLES. “I couldn’t agree more.”

I RUB THE BACK OF MY SKULL. WOWIE! THIS DATE IS STARTING AND IT’S ALREADY GOING GREAT! BY THE END OF IT MAYBE CAROLINE WILL CONSIDER A _SECOND DATE_!! AND MAYBE-! AND MAYBE... **_A THIRD DATE?!?!?!_** “G-GREAT! WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO FIRST?”

“tsk. tsk. tsk. you can’t enter without tickets.”

MY SKULL WHIPS TO MY RIGHT, ONLY TO FIND MY BROTHER AND THE LITTLE HUMAN DRESSED AS SANTA CLAUS AND A LITTLE ELF, BOTH SMIRKING BEHIND A BOOTH THAT READS “Tickets.”

“SANS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

“how you doin’, bro.”

“Hahaha, you guys look awesome.” CAROLINE POKES SANS’ AND FRISK’S HATS.

“heh, thanks. you lift our… _elf_ esteem.”

“SANS!”

“Hahahaha!”

SANS SHRUGS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES WHEN I ASK HIM TO PICK UP HIS SOCKS FROM THE LIVING ROOM. “so, you want two tickets?”

“WORRY NOT, CAROLINE! YOU CAN’T SPELL ‘PREPARED’ WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME!” I TAKE OUT MY WALLET BEFORE SANS THINKS OF BOMBARDING US WITH SEVERAL BAD CHRISTMAS PUNS!

“Hey, you’ve already done too much for me in the time I’ve been in the Underground.” CAROLINE P-PUTS HER TOO P-PRECIOUS HAND ON MINE! “Let me treat you to this.”

“O-OF COURSE N-NOT! I PROMISED A G-GREAT DATE AND THAT IS WHAT I SHALL DELIVER!”

“oh, you two are on a date?” SANS’ LIFTS A BROW, HIS SMIRK GROWING. FEIGNING INNOCENCE. “why didn’t you say so? lucky for ya we’ve got a discount for human-skeleton couples, so it’s on the house.” HE WINKS. THE TINY HUMAN HANDS US THE TICKETS WITH A HUGE GRIN!

“WOWIE! THAT IS A VERY FORTUNATE COINCIDENCE!” WAIT, WAS THIS DATE… P-P-PREDESTINED?!?!

“I guess we’re very lucky today, huh?” CAROLINE CHUCKLES, KEEPING HER TICKET IN HER PURSE. “Thank you, guys.”

“have fun.” SANS WINKS ONCE MORE WHILE FRISK WAVES.

“THANK YOU, BROTHER AND TINY HUMAN! WE WILL SEE YOU LATER!”

CAROLINE AND I WALK TOWARDS THE FESTIVAL. EVEN THOUGH MY BROTHER MADE A PUN, I’M IN THE BEST MOOD I’VE EVER BEEN! “So what do we do first? You’ve been here before so lead the way.”

AS SOON AS SHE ASKS ME, SOMETHING CATCHES MY EYESOCKET. CAROLINE TRUSTS ME TO HAVE A GREAT DATE, I MUST MEET HER STANDARDS! AND JUST AS I’M ABOUT TO MAKE A SUGGESTION, I NOTICE SHE’S LOOKING AT VERY THE SAME THING!!!

EVERY SMILE SHE’S GIVEN ME TODAY HAS BEEN SHY, B-B-BUT THIS ONE IS ANYTHING BUT! THIS IS MORE OF A KNOWING SMILE!

I’M BLUSHING, I KNOW IT! STILL I CAN’T HELP BUT MIRROR HER EXPRESSION.

AND THEN THE FUN BEGAN!

* * *

 

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW WONDERFUL A PLACE FULL OF PUZZLES, SPAGHETTI AND RACING CARS WOULD BE? WELL, BEING IN THE FESTIVAL WITH CAROLINE WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT, EXCEPT TEN TIMES BETTER!

WE PARTICIPATED IN ALL KINDS OF GAMES! WE FOUND SNOWMAN, GERSON AND THE LADY OF THE INN IN SOME OF THE BOOTHS! IT TURNS OUT EVERYONE HAD EITHER DISCOUNTS OR GIFTS FOR HUMAN-SKELETON COUPLES! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WE’D HAVE SO MUCH LUCK!  I DON’T KNOW WHY CAROLINE KEPT BLUSHING EVERY TIME WE RECEIVED SOMETHING, EVEN THOUGH SHE SEEMED HAPPY!

I MUST DESCRIBE YOU OUR GREAT TOUR!

THE THING WE BOTH SAW FIRST WAS THE DOG SLED! COURTESY OF THE ROYAL GUARD, OF COURSE!

THE BRAVE DOGS GAVE US A RIDE AROUND SNOWDIN! CAROLINE FELT GUILTY AT FIRST, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE PRICE WAS ONLY TO GIVE THEM PATS ON THEIR HEADS AND RUB THEIR BELLIES… BUT WHEN THEY TOLD US IT WAS PART OF THEIR TRAINING SHE LOOKED CONVINCED ENOUGH! WHEN I JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD I WONDER IF I’LL HAVE TO PULL A SLED TOO… I HOPE NOT!

 

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE WAY THE WIND PLAYED WITH HER HAIR! IT LOOKED SO SMOOTH… I WONDER WHAT IT MUST FEEL LIKE TO RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH IT… J-J-JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I HAVE TO RUB MY HANDS TO FORCE THEM INTO SUBMISSION! WH-WHY DO I KEEP HAVING ALL THESE W-WEIRD THOUGHTS?!  I BLAME THE WIND FOR THIS!

 

A-ANYWAYS! AFTER THAT, WE DECORATED CHRISTMAS COOKIES! CAROLINE SAID SHE’D NEVER DONE IT BEFORE!

 

AND THEN BUNBUN, THE RABBIT GIRL IN CHARGE OF THE BOOTH, GAVE US A COOKIE IN THE SHAPE OF A **HEART**!! SO THAT WE COULD “DECORATE IT TOGETHER”! IT WAS-! IT WAS-!

 

REALLY N-N-NICE…. CAROLINE LOOKS VERY CUTE WHEN SHE BLUSHES… N-NYEH. AND NOW WE HAVE TWO CUTE HEART COOKIES THAT WE DID TOGETHER!  WE ENDED UP MAKING TWO SO WE COULD BOTH KEEP ONE. NYEH.

 

WE ALSO PARTICIPATED IN THE RING TOSS BOOTH! WELL, WE ACTUALLY PARTICIPATED IN MANY GAME BOOTHS BUT GERSON WAS IN CHARGE OF THIS ONE!

 

I HAD TO TRY A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT I GOT CAROLINE AN ICE-E PLUSHIE! YOU KNOW, THE BEAR-FACED ICE CUBE. NORMALLY I THINK I COULD HAVE GOTTEN IT SOONER BUT SHE WAS CHEERING FOR ME! H-HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO CONCENTRATE! B-BUT I DIDN’T WANT HER TO STOP… SHE LATER WON A PIN OF ICE-E AND SHE GAVE IT TO ME! I RECEIVED A GIFT FROM MY DATE! I’M TELLING YOU, HER DATING POWER IS EXTREMELY STRONG!

 

AND THEN WE SKATED ON ICE! THE INN KEEPER GAVE US TWO IDENTICAL RED STRING BRACELETS. IT’S FUNNY, SHE SAID ANYONE WHO ENTERED THE ICE RINK HAD TO WEAR THEM BUT I DIDN’T SEE ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN CAROLINE AND I WEARING THOSE STRING BRACELTS…

 

WELL, MAYBE THE OTHERS LOST THEIR OWN! IT MATTERS NOT! CAROLINE SAID SHE HAD SKATED ON ICE A FEW TIMES BEFORE BUT SINCE SHE DIDN’T DO IT OFTEN SHE WASN’T GOOD AT IT! NYEH HEH HEH! AND THAT’S WHERE I, THE GREAT AND CHIVALROUS PAPYRUS, COME IN! TO SAVE THE DAY! I TOLD HER I WOULD HELP HER IN ANY WAY I COULD! JUST LIKE I DID IN MY DAYDREAM AND IT WORKED! WELL, O-OF COURSE SHE DIDN’T CRY HAPPY TEARS, N-NYEH, B-BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT SHE…

 

...HELD. MY. HAND!

**SHE HELD MY HAND! FOR A SUSTAINED PERIOD OF TIME! ON PURPOSE!**

I COULD HAVE SWORN MY BONES AND MY HEART WERE GOING TO EXPLODE!  AT FIRST WE WENT SLOW AND I TR-TRIED TO KEEP MYSELF DISTRACTED BY GUIDING HER AND MAKING SURE SHE FELT SAFE, BUT AS WE GOT THE HANG OF IT WE WENT A LITTLE FASTER.

 

UNTIL CAROLINE LET GO OF MY HAND TO SKATE.

 

NO, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE THINKING! I WASN’T SAD! FAR FROM IT! MAYBE I WOULD HAVE FELT BAD IF I HADN’T BEEN TOO BUSY ADMIRING THE DELICACY AND ELEGANCE OF HER SMALLER FORM! OR HER HAIR DANCING WITH THE WIND! O-OR HER EXCITED EXPRESSION THAT SHE HAD IMPROVED A LITTLE AFTER SKATING WITH ME, SHE WAS SO JOYFUL AND SO B-BEAUTIFUL…

 

THEN I RAN INTO A LIZARD BOY AND FELL FACE-FIRST ON THE ICE.

 

I’VENEVERBEENSOEMBARRASSEDINMYWHOLELIFE! CAROLINEWASSOCONCERNED!! I GOT A LITTLE SCAR ON MY LEFT ARM BUT I WAS SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF I DIDN’T EVEN FEEL THE PAIN! THIS COULD RUIN THE MANLY, CAPABLE IMAGE SHE HAS OF ME! UGHHH SO FRUSTRATING! AND SHE’S A PSYCHIC! MAYBE SHE SAW RIGHT THROUGH MY POISE AND FELT ALL MY NERVES FOR ALL I KNOW!! ALAS, POOR PAPYRUS!

 

SHE TRIED TO CHEER ME UP BY TAKING A PICTURE WITH SANTA AND HIS LITTLE HELPER, AND YES! YOU GUESSED IT! IT WAS MY BROTHER WITH THE TINY HUMAN AGAIN! EVERYONE KEPT CALLING HIM _SANSTA CLAUS_! MAYBE MY BROTHER WANTS TO FOLLOW MY STEPS AND WORK HARD INSTEAD OF BEING SO LAZY… I ADMIT HE’S BEEN WORKING ALL DAY! THAT’S AN UNUSUAL BUT A GOOD SIGN! I GUESS? AND OUR PICTURE WAS VERY CUTE TOO. N-NYEH. GYFTROT WAS THERE FOR THE PHOTO TOO WITH ALL OF HIS DECORATIONS! ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT HE LIKED RECEIVING GIFTS BUT CAROLINE UNDECORATED HIM SAYING HE ACTUALLY FELT UNCOMFORTABLE! TALK ABOUT PLOT TWIST! AHHH… SHE’S SO EMPATHETIC AND SENSITIVE. AND SO SMART TOO! SHE’S SO MY TYPE. WOWIE! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I HAD A TYPE!

WE ALSO RECEIVED A STAR SO WE COULD PUT IT ON TOP OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE! THE ONE AT THE CENTER WITH ALL THE GIFTS! THAT IS SUCH AN HONOR! THE INN KEEPER WAS VERY INSISTENT THAT WE HAD TO PUT IT TOGETHER, SO SINCE IT WAS TOO TALL FOR CAROLINE TO REACH I C-CARRIED HER, NYEEEH, AND SHE CAREFULLY PUT IT ON ITS’ R-RIGHT PLACE. EVERYONE CLAPPED! N-NYEH!

 

AFTER THAT WE HAD A CONVERSATION WITH MONSTER KID WHO GAVE US ONLY ONE COTTON CANDY FOR FREE WITH THE CONDITION THAT WE HAD TO SHARE IT!

 

 

AND NOW, I ONLY HAVE TO MOVE ON TO THE LAST PHASE OF THE DATE MISSION!

 

AND THAT PHASE IS CALLED… PICNIC TIME!

 

* * *

 

 

“WE ARE A-ALMOST THERE, YOU HAVE TO CLOSE YOUR EYES!” OH SHE WILL NEVER SEE THIS COMING! PLEASE LIKE THIS! PLEASE LIKE THIS!

SHE SMILES A LITTLE INCREDULOUS. “Okay. I trust you.”

WOWIE! SHE TRUSTS ME! SHE TRUSTS ME! SHETRUSTSMEEEEEEEEEE!!! “J-JUST WAIT A SECOND!”

 

SHE GIGGLES. “What are you doing?”

 

“YOU’LL SEE!”

“Okay, I’ll wait. I promise I won’t open my eyes.”

 

JUST A LITTLE MORE HERE… GREAT! “NOW, I’M GOING TO TAKE YOUR H-HAND TO GUIDE YOU, O-OKAY?”

 

“Okay.”

 

I TAKE HER HAND TO LEAD HER INSIDE THE R-ROOM. “VERY GOOD! NOW SIT DOWN HERE… GREAT! AND LIE DOWN…. PERFECT! AND NOW ALL YOU ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS OPEN YOUR EYES!”

 

I SEE HER BLINK A COUPLE OF TIMES AS HER EYES ADJUST TO THE DIM LIGHT. AS SOON AS THEY DO, SHE GASPS, HER HANDS COVERING HER LIPS.

 

I GRIN AS I LIE RIGHT NEXT TO HER. I KNEW IT! SHE LIKED IT! “Welcome To The Wishing Room.”

 

HER EYES GLISTEN UNDER THE SOFT, AQUAMARINE GLOW OF THE ROCKS ON THE CEILING. “This is… it’s beautiful.” HER LIPS REMAIN PARTED. “For a moment I thought I was looking at the stars. I feel like I’m under the sky… And look, you made a picnic with a blanket and everything.”

 

“This Is The Place I Originally Wanted To Show You To Get Inspiration For The Talent Show. Before The Rocks In The Waterfall. I Heard That Monsters Used To Wish To Stars A Long Time Ago But Now We Do It Here, In The Wishing Room. Sans Told Me Stars Look Very Similar To This, So Sometimes I Come Here To Make A Wish And Pretend I’m Looking At The Real Stars, Even Though I Do Not Know What They Actually Look Like. I Know It’s Not The Same And That You Miss Your Home, So I Thought That Maybe It Could Help You Feel A Little Closer To It...”

 

HER HEAD TURNS TO THE RIGHT TO FACE ME, A BLANK BUT DEEP EXPRESSION IN HER EYES. . I UNKNOWINGLY STOP BREATHING. SHE EXAMINES THE DETAILS OF MY FACE. “That’s… that’s the sweetest, most thoughtful thing someone’s ever done for me.”

 

“Nyeh.”

 

A HUGE GRIN APPEARS ON HER FACE. “This is wonderful. Thank you, Papyrus.”

 

“C-Caroline!”

 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” SHE CHUCKLES AS SHE WIPES A COUPLE OF TEARS AWAY FROM HER FACE. “I’m happy. But listen to me, Papyrus.” SHE ROLLS TO HER SIDE SO THAT HER WHOLE BODY IS FACING ME.

 

“Wh-what Is It?”

 

“I don’t want to pretend we’re under the sky. Not today. I’m here in the Underground with you. And I’ve had an awesome time in our date, so… today I want to enjoy just being here. Enjoy the Wishing Room. As it is.  With its’ own marvelous beauty. Right now I’m just… liking this so much I don’t want to pretend I’m anywhere else.”

“That Is… That Is A Very Nice Way Of Looking At Things. I’m Glad. I’m Enjoying This Very Much Too.”

 

I CAN’T TELL VERY WELL IF SHE’S BLUSHING, BUT JUDGING BY THE WAY SHE AVERTS MY GAZE FOR A MOMENT AND HIDES HER TINY SMILE, I THINK SHE MIGHT BE.

 

AND SO WE LOOK AT THE WISHING ROOM IN SILENCE AFTER I EXPLAINED HER SHE COULD MAKE AS MANY WISHES AS SHE WANTED. AT LEAST ON THE OUTSIDE WAS QUIET, BECAUSE MY BRAIN WAS AS LOUD AS SANS’ TROMBONE THE MINUTE SHE HELD AND SQUEEZED MY HAND!

 

B-B-BUT AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH SHE SCOOTED CLOSER **AND PRESSED HER HEAD AGAINST MY SHOULDER!!!** IS SHE TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?! THE CLOSER SHE IS THE WEIRDER I FEEL! ALMOST AS IF I WAS ALLERGIC OR--!

AND THAT’S WHEN I REALIZED IT.

 

ALLERGIC.

 

ALLERGIC.

 

ALLERGIC.

 

_ALLERGIC._

 

**_ALLERGIC._ **

 

THE WORD BOUNCED IN MY SKULL FOR SEVERAL MINUTES! THEN ALL I HAD TO DO WAS PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER!

 

MY WEIRD THOUGHTS, MY WARM CHEEKS, MY HEART RACING OR STOPPING AND  SKIPPING AT THE SAME TIME, MY SUDDEN LACK OF ELOQUENCE AS IF MY TONGUE WAS SWOLLEN! MY SUDDEN AND HIGHLY UNUSUAL CLUMSINESS! MY COOL DEMEANOR REPLACED BY NERVOUSNESS! IT ALL HAPPENS _ONLY_ WHEN CAROLINE IS AROUND!

 

SO I HAD TO FACE THE TRUTH.

 

I’M ALLERGIC TO MY DATE.

 

“Hey, is that...?” CAROLINE SITS DOWN, LOOKING UP AT THE WALL. “A mistletoe?”

 

“A What?” I SIT DOWN TOO.

 

 “Yes, a mistletoe. Th-there.”

 

“OH. I See It. Alphys Told Me Humans Have A Christmas Tradition, So We Decided To Adopt It Too! And We Are Under One. We Must Honor The Tradition!”

 

CAROLINE VISIBLY BLUSHES THIS TIME! AND SHE LOOKS NERVOUS! S-SO CUTE! “H-honor it? Um… I- Are you sure?”

 

“Of Course! I’d Be Happy To Give You A Kizz!”

 

“Oh.” CAROLINE IS SMILING BUT LOOKS VERY RED. WHY IS A KIZZ MAKING HER SO NERVOUS? “I… I’d like to give you a kiss too.”

 

“Great! Here!” I TAKE THE LITTLE CHOCOLATE FROM MY POCKET. I BROUGHT IT IN CASE WE FOUND A MISTLETOE! NYEH HEH HEH! LIKE I SAID, YOU CAN’T SPELL PREPARED WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME! “I Know Humans Have A Popular Chocolate Called “Kiss” And That You Have To Give One To Someone If You Two Are Under A Mistletoe! Chocolate Monsters Are Called Kizzes, Though.”

 

“Ohhhh a kizz. Ha. O-of course. Haha. I-I’m sorry, but I didn’t bring you a kizz.”

 

“Worry Not! You Couldn’t Have Known We’d Find A Mistletoe!”

 

SHE CHUCKLES. MY HEART FEELS A LITTLE HEAVY FROM MY REALIZATION EARLIER! ALLERGIC TO CAROLINE… I’VE KNOWN THIS FOR FIVE MINUTES AND I FEEL SO GUILTY I’M KEEPING THIS SECRET FROM HER!

 

“You know,” CAROLINE LOOKS AT THE ROCKS IN THE CEILING AGAIN “now that I think about it… The day I fell into the Underground, just a little while before I fell, I read an article on the Internet. It said there were creatures living under the earth or something among those lines. Heh. I was so convinced the writer was crazy or that they just wanted attention, that I didn’t bother to finish reading the article. I mean, I’m a psychic, I can tell the difference between something that’s possible or not in the paranormal world, right? And look at where I am now. On a really nice date. With you.” SHE LAUGHS, SHAKING HER HEAD. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll always have that reminder to be open to what people have to say. Even if it doesn’t make sense at first. And also a reminder that you can never know it all. It gives me hope. We’ll all find a way to the surface, Papyrus. And one day we’re all going to look at the stars.”

HER WAY OF THINKING. SO… DIFFERENT. AND SENSITIVE. AND SMART. “That… Thank You, Caroline. That Is Very Deep. I Know We Will.” I SMILE AT HER. AND HER LIPS… HOW CAN HER MOUTH DO A THOUSAND THINGS, LIKE SMILE AND TALK AND LAUGH AND EAT ICE CREAM… IT’S SO EXPRESSIVE… WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ALLERGIC TO HER?!

THEN IT'S SILENT FOR A MOMENT- SHE'S WAITING FOR A RESPONSE BUT I WASN'T FOCUSING ON HER WORDS! AS I BLUSH HER LOOK OF BAFFLEMENT BECOMES A SHY SMILE.

H-HOW CAN I KEEP MY BIG AND DARK SECRET WHEN SHE’S SO SINCERE?! THESE FIVE- NO! **_SEVEN_** MINUTES I’VE BEEN KEEPING IT ARE KILLING ME! I CAN’T CARRY THE WEIGHT OF THIS GUILT ANY LONGER!

 

I MUST TELL HER THE TRUTH.  “CAROLINE, THERE IS SOMETHING I MUST CONFESS. SOMETHING I DISCOVERED… TODAY.” TODAY, SEVEN MINUTES AGO! PLEASE, DON’T JUDGE ME!

MY. GOD. I HATE TO SEE THOSE SWEET EYES WORRIED “Okay. Sure. Is everything okay?”

 _IT’S AWFUL!_ “UM, ACTUALLY, UH…“ I RUB THE BACK OF MY SKULL WITH HEAVINESS. I SHOULD HAVE WAITED UNTIL THE DATE WAS OVER TO TELL HER THE NEWS! THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. OH NO! SHE’S WORRYING MORE! “N-NO! P-PLEASE DON’T WORRY! I’M OKAY! I TRULY AM! I JUST…” I DROP MY GAZE. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF SHE DOES NOT LIKE ME AFTER THIS. I MUST BE HONEST. WHAT IF SHE BECOMES ALLERGIC TOO?! I CAN STAND THIS MAGICAL ALLERGY IF IT MEANS SPENDING TIME WITH CAROLINE, BUT I CANNOT ALLOW HER TO BECOME ALLERGIC TO ME!

“I… We Can No Longer See Each Anymore After This. I’m Terribly, TERRIBLY Sorry. I Really Am.”

HER PINK LIPS SLIGHTLY PART AND HER EYES ARE WIDE. UNBLINKING. WHY IS SHE STARING AT ME LIKE THAT? WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO HURT-- “Oh. OH! N-N-NO, NO, NO! I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! NOT AT ALL! NOOO! LISTEN TO ME, I HAVE A STRANGE CONDITION. I’M NOT LYING! THE TRUTH IS… I… I THINK I’M ALLERGIC.” MY SHOULDERS DROP. “To You.”

BOY, SHE LOOKS SO CONFUSED NOW. HOWEVER, SHE STILL LOOKS CALM ENOUGH. I’M HOPING THAT’S A GOOD SIGN. MAYBE SHE WON’T DISLIKE ME AFTER THIS. “I Didn’t Know It Was Possible. I’ve Never Heard Of Monsters That Are Allergic To Humans, B-BUT I PROMISE YOU I WILL FIND A CURE! I REFUSE TO GIVE UP ON OUR FRIENDSHIP! IT’S JUST TOO IMPORTANT TO ME! MEANWHILE WE CAN COMMUNICATE BY PHONE AND--!”

“But why do you think you’re allergic to me?” SHE GLANCES DOWN AT HERSELF AND AT THE SHORT DISTANCE BETWEEN US, LEANING BACK. “Do you feel bad?”

“NO, NO! OF COURSE NOT! BUT-- Huh…Odd… Allergies Are Not Supposed To Be Nice… ANYWAYS! THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT! I KNOW I’M ALLERGIC TO YOU BECAUSE, WELL, EVER SINCE I MET YOU I’VE BEEN HAVING THESE, UM… SYMPTOMS.”

“What kind of symptoms? Are you feeling ill? Do you want me to call Sans or Alphys or…?”

“No, Like I Said This Allergy Doesn’t Feel Bad, I Actually Like- NO, N-NEVER MIND! THESE SYMPTOMS ARE ODD! THEY STARTED OFF AS ALMOST IMPERCEPTIBLE.”

I EXHALE SHORTLY. IF I EXPLAIN MYSELF CALMLY SHE’LL UNDERSTAND BETTER. WITH MY USUAL ELOQUENCE GONE BECAUSE OF THE ALLERGY I CERTAINLY HOPE I CAN EXPLAIN THIS! “For Example, They Were There When You Taught Me Mettaton’s Dance And You Were So Graceful, Even More Astonishing Than Mettaton Himself! Or When You Laugh So Spontaneously At Sans’ Horrible Puns... Hmmm… Now That I Think About It, I Have Symptoms Almost Every Time You Laugh… Or When We Had The Snowball Fight And You Had Snowflakes All Over Your Hair And Your Eyelashes, And Your Pretty Cheeks And Your Pretty Nose Were A Soft And Lovely Shade Of Red Because Of The Cold… O-OH SEE? HERE IT IS! THE ALLERGY! MY CHEEKBONES ARE BURNING! I’M BLUSHING AGAIN! THAT’S ONE OF THE SYMPTOMS! AND I’M ONLY TALKING AND THINKING ABOUT YOU! I’m Also Not Supposed To Have Cardiovascular Problems But Sometimes My Heart Does Weird Jumps When You Smile And- YES! THAT EXACT SMILE! LOOK! HERE!” I GRAB HER DELICATE HAND AND PUT IT OVER MY CHAOTIC HEART. “S-SEE? IT GOT WORSE NOW TH-THAT YOU’RE TOUCHING MY CH-CHEST! I’M EVEN S-STUTTERING! THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! THE SYMPTOMS INCREASE WHEN YOU TOUCH ME!” I LET HER HAND GO TO EMPHASIZE MY POINT WITH MY HANDS. “THAT’S HOW ALLERGIES WORK! THE SAME HAPPENED EARLIER WHEN WE SKATED ON ICE AND YOU HELD MY HAND! OR WHEN WE DANCED FOR THE PLAY! MY BONES HAD A SILLY TINGLE LONG AFTER IT WAS OVER AND THEY STILL DO JUST AT THE _MERE MEMORY_! _I’M ALLERGIC TO **YOU**!!_ DON’T YOU SEE?”

“Papyrus.”

HER SUDDEN CHANGE STARTLES ME A LITTLE. “Y-yes?”

“I did bring a kiss to give you.”

“Uh, Y-You Did? I Mean, I’m V-very Glad! Kizzes Taste Good, But--“

DID SHE JUST GET C-CLOSER? W-WOWIE! SHE HAS SUCH A KIND HEART! SHE MUST REALLY WANT TO GIVE ME A KIZZ TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AFTER I TOLD HER ABOUT MY ALLERGY!

“Can I give you one now?”

“A-Alright, O-Only If You Really Want To. B-But I Don’t Think You Understand The Severity Of This Situation! This Must Be A Magical Allergy And You’re A Human! You Require More Care And You React Differently To Magic Than Monsters! Aren’t You Worried That I Might Make You Allergic Or Sick Too?  I Couldn’t Forgive Myself If I Ever Make You Feel Bad Even If I Don’t Mean It.”

“That won’t happen.” HER SHY SMILE WIDENS. THE NEXT THING I KNOW, HER FACE IS SLOWLY LEANING TOWARDS MINE. HER VOICE NOW A WHISPER. “Close your eyes.”

MY BREATHING. IT… IT SUDDENLY STOPPED. IS IT… IS IT MY ALLERGY? IT… IT MUST BE… M-MY BONES ARE FROZEN BUT FOR SOME REASON I… I DON’T CARE… I SHOULD BUT I… I DON’T.  “O-okay.” 

MY SOCKETS CLOSE ON THEIR OWN… SHE’S… SHE’S SO CLOSE I CAN FEEL HER BREATH… I CAN BARELY THINK, I—

!!!!!

HER HAND TOUCHES MY BOILING CHEEKBONE. IT MAKES MY HEART LEAP INTO MY NON-EXISTANT TH-THROAT! WH-WHAT IS SHE…?

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

THEN SOMETHING WARM TOUCHES MY TEETH.

**_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ **

W-WAIT! THIS IS--! _OH. MY. GOD_. IT’S N-NOT A _KIZZ_! IT’S A _KISS!!! **A KISS**!!!! IT’S A--!_

BLISSFUL WARMTH SPREADS OVER MY CHEST AND RIBS. H-HER LIPS… IT’S… IT’S A TOUCH THAT IS LIGHT AS A FEATHER...! SILKY AND SOFT…

MY-MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST, B-BUT AT THE SAME TIME I’M RESTING ON A PINK CLOUD… AND AT THE SAME TIME I’M AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD…! AND AT THE SAME TIME I’M NOWHERE AT ALL…

I’M LIGHT-HEADED AND FUZZY, BUT MY SENSES…  I FEEL HER SKIN AND HER PRESENCE SO STRONGLY… AT THE SAME TIME IT’S A KIND, CAROLINE-LIKE KISS…

THE MAGNIFICENT SENSATION OF HER LIPS LEAVES ME TOO SOON. I SLOWLY OPEN MY EYES TO SEE HER BLUSHING, SMILING FACE A HAIR’S BREADTH AWAY. SHE TIMIDLY TUCKS A STRAND OF HAIR BEHIND HER EAR.

I’M SHAKING.

I DON’T WANT TO STOP BEING ALLERGIC TO CAROLINE. EVER.

SHE SMILES BASHFULLY AT ME. “That’s the kind of _kiss_ we actually give under the mistletoe in human tradition.”

“Nyeh.”

SHE GIGGLES. “Merry Christmas, Papyrus.”

“M-Merry Christmas, Caroline.”

HER FACE… SHE IS… IS SHE…? NO! **_WE_** ARE LEANING CLOSER AGAIN…! SHE LIKED THE KISS! _MY_ KISS! WE’RE GOING TO-! WE’RE GOING TO-!  We’re… Going To…

“Excuse me! I’m very, very, very sorry to interrupt! But this is- Honestly this is, um… really awkward, I’ve been meaning to leave for a while now… I’m- I’m sorry, but I can’t stay any longer. Sorry.”

CAROLINE AND I JUMP APART. WE BOTH LOOK EVERYWHERE FOR THE INCORPOREAL VOICE.

UNTIL WE FIND IT.

IN THE WALL.

“Er, congratulations for your new relationship and all, I uuuh, appreciate your… trust? I guess? B-but I must leave. I’m sorry, I can no longer be your, uh… mistletoe. Ahem. My best wishes. Um. Good evening.” WE WATCH, COMPLETELY DUMBFOUNDED AND HORRIFIED WITH EMBARRASSMENT, AS THE MISTLETOE AWKWARDLY ADJUSTS HIS ELEGANT RED RIBBON AND HIS GLASSES, ONLY FOR HIM TO SLOWLY DRAG HIMSELF ACROSS THE CEILING, AWAY FROM US UNTIL WE CANNOT SEE HIM ANYMORE.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Pft… hahahaha!”

“N-Nyeh… NYEH HEH HEH HEH!”

“HAHAHAHA!”

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH!”

* * *

 

WE ENJOYED THE REST OF OUR PICNIC, CHATTING AND LAUGHING AND, OF COURSE, EATING CHRISTMAS COOKIES! IT WASN’T AWKWARD ANYMORE! I SHOWED HER THE TELESCOPE. I’M SO GLAD I MADE SURE TO CLEAN IT UP KNOWING MY BROTHER AND HIS PRANKS!

 

CAROLINE WAS SMILING EVEN MORE AND SO W-WAS I… WHEN WE LEFT, THE WHOLE WALK WE H-H-HELD HANDS! YES! THAT IS RIGHT! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HELD HANDS WITH CAROLINE, THE HUMAN! FOR A SUSTAINED PERIOD OF TIME! ON PURPOSE! NYEH!

SHE ALSO EXPLAINED TO ME THAT MY SYMPTOMS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH AN ALLERGY… I WAS A LITTLE EMBARRASSED, B-BUT I’M GLAD THERE IS NO DANGER FOR US TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER!

 

BY THE TIME WE ARRIVED TO SNOWDIN, THE TOWN SEEMED TO BE EMPTY! EVERYONE WAS INSIDE THEIR HOUSES. HUH, SO ODD… I GUESS WE KEPT HAVING LUCK SINCE WE HAD A LITTLE MORE PRIVACY TO SAY GOODBYE! ALMOST AS IF THE TOWN HAD AGREED TO IT! WHAT A COINCIDENCE!

 

“Thank you for a lovely date, Papyrus. It was… the best date. Ever.” CAROLINE GIGGLES, AS SHE STANDS IN FRONT OF THE DOOR TO OUR GARAGE, I MEAN, HER NEW ROOM! HUGGING HER ICE-E CUB PLUSHIE AND ALL OF THE OTHER GIFTS WE WERE GIVEN TODAY.

 

“I Had A Wonderful Time Too. NYEH. Thank You For Going On This Date With Me, Caroline.”

 

SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE MIGHT SAY SOMETHING BUT HOLDS HERSELF BACK. BUT THEN SHE MEETS MY GAZE. “Goodnight… Boyfriend.” SHE GIVES ME A QUICK PECK ON MY CHEEKBONE BEFORE GETTING INSIDE THE GARAGE WITH A HUGE SMILE.

 

“…G-goodnight.” I… I STAND FROZEN IN FRONT OF THE DOOR, ABSENT MINDEDLY TOUCHING MY CHEEKBONE…

 

Boyfriend…

 

B-B-BOYFRIEND?!?!?!

 

**_I-! I’M CAROLINE’S BOYFRIEND?!?!_ **

 

I SEE AN ORANGE GLOW ENLIGHTEN THE DOOR AND THE SNOW AROUND ME. TH-THAT’S ME! I’M! I’M CAROLINES BOYFRIEND!

 

M-MY KNEES ARE WOBBLY! I FEEL MY SMILE SHAKING BECAUSE IT CAN’T PHYSICALLY GROW MORE!

 

MY ROOM! I NEED TO GO TO MY ROOM!

 

“hey, bro. how did it go?” SANS ASKS ME AS SOON AS I ENTER THE HOUSE!

“IT WENT WELL! I’M SORRY SANS, I CAN’T SPEAK! I’M VERY TIRED AND I MUST SLEEP TO REGAIN ENERGY SO GOODNIGHT!” I QUICKLY CLIMB TWO STEPS AT A TIME ACTING COMPLETELY NATURAL!

“heh heh. sure. sleep well.”

“Y-YES!” CAROLINE WAS RIGHT! THERE WAS NO ALLERGY! I’M STILL ELOQUENT AND PERSUASIVE! MY BROTHER COMPLETELY BELIEVED ME!

I SLAM THE DOOR TO MY ROOM, BARRICADING IT WITH MY BODY. I STARE FOR  A FEW MINUTES AT THE ICE-E CUBE PIN M-M-MY NEW G-GIRLFRIEND GAVE ME.

AS I DO A QUIET DANCE!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH IT WAS SO PERFECT! SO BEAUTIFUL! SO- SO…!

I STOP AND CLOSE MY EYES, PRESSING THE PIN TO MY VERY HAPPY HEART.

_GREAT._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? 
> 
> Honestly, I fangirled a lot writing this. I wanted this chapter to be lighthearted so that's why it was so difficult getting in the right mood to write it. I usually like to use quotes for the title of the chapters that hint at the meaning or message I want to convey, but even the title for this chapter is light-hearted. And then Papyrus is a lot of fun to write but it's difficult! Btw I'm feeling better now. I think it's funny how I start writing thinking it's going to be around 10 pages, but end up with almost 18. I'm sorry if you don't like long chapters, but I hope this makes up for the time I've been away. By the way, the Jingle Bells version is the one you hear at Napstablook's house and Ice-e is the character that's in the word search Sans gives you, haha.
> 
> Please, everyone go check InkForOne's fanfic Companiontale and look at the awesome Healingtale fanart!! Pure talent here!
> 
> https://numberlessneedle.deviantart.com/art/Everything-I-ve-Dreamed-Of-691239993  
> https://numberlessneedle.deviantart.com/art/Hold-On-to-a-Dream-693801293  
> https://numberlessneedle.deviantart.com/art/Caroline-696853791  
> https://numberlessneedle.deviantart.com/art/Kiss-698270537
> 
> Now, if you excuse, I'm going to go and marry Papyrus. <3


	17. The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Again! Woohoo!
> 
> Long personal ramble at the end.
> 
> Enjoy!

I close the door, softly pressing my back against it. Chest heaving up and down.

Kissed.

Papyrus.

Hmmmm no, no, that’s not right. That doesn’t cover it.

I kissed The Great **frig _GING PAPYRUS!!!_**

Frisk greets me with a knowing smile and wiggling eyebrows. My own grin must speak volumes. I touch my cheeks. Yup. I’m blushing alright.

“Cannonball!” Setting all my stuff down (except for my Ice-e plushie!), I throw myself onto the bed, stuffing my face in the pillow and kicking my legs in the air, squealing like a little girl.

***You tell Caroline it seems her date went well.**

“Yes! It did.” I let out a contented sigh and roll over to look at the ceiling. “It was awesome. We’re… we’re officially a couple now.” As soon as I say those words I can’t do anything else but throw a fit in the bed.

Frisk giggles. ***You clap and congratulate Caroline.**

“And it’s all because of you and Undyne so thankyouthankyouthankyou!” I jump out of the bed to spin Frisk in the air until we collapse on the bed, laughing. I’m about to tell Frisk about my date when our heads turn to the door. Someone just knocked.

I sit down, hugging the pillow, my plushie and Frisk. “Who is it?”

Undyne kicks the door open. I’m far from used to her dramatic entrances, but I don’t have time to be frightened because I can only focus on her light blue nightcap and the pirate-and-parrot pajamas she’s wearing. “HOW DID IT GO?!?!”

“U-Undyne!” Alphys whispers from behind her in a pink cat onesie. She clears her throat, adjusting her glasses with a sheepish smile. “S-sorry, Caroline. We were umm wondering--”

“YOU HEARD HER! WE DEMAND AN ANSWER, HUMAN!”

I hold my hands up in defense. “Woah, hold on…” It doesn’t matter how utterly confused I am, my words come out with way less shock than I intend. I notice Alphys carrying pillows, a Hello Kitty plushie under her arm and… “Popcorn? Wait… you’re staying over?”

“You bet we are, not-a-coward!” Undyne closes the door with a happy kick, dusting her hands off before placing her fists on her hips. “Hah! And by the looks of it I can already tell it’s gonna be a night full of good news...” Undyne’s smirk grows. I follow her gaze to the bunch of gifts on the floor.

“AAAAaaaaaaaaah!” Alphys jumps up and down, holding down the cat ears of her onesie, dropping some of the popcorn from the bowl in the process.

 “Okay, okay! Fine! I’ll tell you everything!” I laugh, feeling my cheeks flare in anticipation. “B-but let’s try to keep it down, please! He literally lives next door-!”

“FUHUHUHU! I DIDN’T TAKE YOU FOR A SMOOTH GIRL! WAY TO GO!!”

My eyebrows rise in alarm at the loudness. “Undy- _AAHH_!”

“THE TRAINING WORKED! YOU ACTUALLY DID IT SOLDIER!” She picks me up from the ground in a bone-breaking hug, spinning me the way I did with Frisk.

“Yesss! Papyroline’s finally canon!” Alphys shares a high-five with Frisk, before jumping and accidentally dropping the whole bowl this time.

“…”

“…”

“…”

*** “…”**

“S-so… um.” Alphys smiles apologetically “… pizza?”

* * *

 

Three hours later, our bellies are full of cheese and pepperoni, my sides ache from laughing and the room is silent, except for Undyne’s light snoring.

Since she brought two sleeping bags from Alphys’ lab and one of her own, we let Frisk keep the bed. We didn’t have to worry about cleaning the popcorn because Frisk had the brilliant idea of inviting the cute Pomeranian I saw in Papyrus’ house.

I smile to myself. _Ahhh Papyrus…_

I told them about the date and the kiss. Undyne says she’ll ask Papyrus for his side of the story later. Fangirling so much must have worn them out. But telling them about my date had the exact opposite effect in me! I have so much energy! Man, I can’t stop thinking about him. And his “allergy.” I’m sure I’m going to be absolutely embarrassed tomorrow or in five minutes, but for now I’ll savor my perfect day from the comfort of this Mew Mew Kissy Cutie sleeping bag…

**_*Knock knock*_ **

…or maybe this perfect day isn’t over yet.

I sit to look at everyone’s sleeping faces. No one heard a thing.

My hopes that it’s Papyrus behind the door die too soon. He’d be too worried to wake me up to come at this time. Still he’s the only one who comes to mind besides…

My stomach drops.

…Papyrus and maybe…. a certain flower…

I hold my breath. Heck no. Uh uh. I’m not alone this time. It would be very stupid of Flowey to try anything with the Head of the Royal Guard and the Royal Scientist in the same room. He’d be defenseless against someone like Undyne. He wouldn’t put himself in that position… right?

Not entirely convinced of my own reasoning, I crawl to the door. In spite of being ready to scream and wake everyone up, I whisper, “Who is it?”

“wanda.”

 _Not the flower. Good._ Suddenly I feel very stupid, how would he even knock? Humorously, I huff in tremendous relief at the unmistakable voice. “Wanda who?”

“ _wanda_ hang out with me right now?”

Coming to my feet, I open the door and close it silently behind me with a bit theatrical motion, pillow in hand. “Hello, _Wanda-hang-out-with-me-right-now_.” Thank God for my warm pajamas and the green cloak Papyrus gave me.

“heh, someone’s in a good mood.” Sans smirks. “any reason in particular?”

I laugh, feeling blood rush to my cheeks. “Very perceptive. Yes, I’m in a good mood, that’s all I’m saying.”

“funny. paps was in a very good mood too...” He says in a teasing voice.

“Ohhhhh shut up, I can’t handle it!” I whisper, burying my burning face and my unstoppable grin in the pillow.

“heh heh heh. glad you two had a good time. so, hey, wanna come and grab somethin’ at grillby’s?”

I unbury one eye to look at him. I smile, letting go of the pillow. “Lead the way.”

* * *

 

Sans and I make our way to Grillby’s after I leave a note in case Frisk or any the girls awaken in my absence. The place is empty except for us and well, Grillby. Sans said there’s a special midnight menu.

We take a seat on the bar.

“whaddya want, kid?”

I check the menu. My mouth waters and I know exactly what I want. “Hot chocolate.”

“excellent choice.” Sans winks. “grillby, we’ll have hot chocolate and hot ketchup, please.”

Before Grillby leaves, I notice he gives me a playful smile. I blush. The whole Underground knew about my date with Papyrus. But I’m too happy to care too much about it.

“so… looks like ya had a nice date, huh?”

The thought of Papyrus widens my grin. “He’s awesome, Sans.”

“he’s cool, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”  I smile to myself. Very cool. _AND HOT_.  :B Huehuehuehuehuehue-

“heh. geez, kid. i’m the bro. maybe you should tell that to alphys or undyne? heh.”

My eyes almost pop out of my face. “I said that out loud? Ha. Haha.”I glance down, avoiding Sans’ face at all costs. “Please, **please** don’t tell him I said that.”

Sans shakes his head, amused. “won’t if you don’t.”

I let out a relieved sigh. I smile at him. “By the way, thank you for today. You’re a good brother. And a good friend.”

“cause of the tickets? i told ya discounts for human-skeleton couples are a very serious matter here.”

“That’s not what I was talking about.” I chuckle as Grillby comes back with our orders. I nod him my thanks as Sans begins his mission of extinguishing the ketchup. I guess monster tastes really are different. “I mean, yes, the tickets too, but I’m talking about the Christmas Festival and everything. You made it happen, didn’t you?”

“me? i’m a lazy bones.”

“Deny it all you want.” I take a sip of my hot chocolate. “I’m still thanking you. You and the whole town made this by far the most special and memorable date I’ve ever had.”

“heh heh. nah, that was all you and paps. we just… helped with the setting.”

“Nope. You did a lot more than that. You made it like a dream. So, really, thank you.” I pause to grin at him “… _pal_.”

He chuckles, scratching his cheekbone to cover his light blush. “look at ya. calling us friends was such a big deal and now you got a boyfriend and you’re _pal this, pal that_.”

 I throw my head back in laughter. “I know! I’m pretty sure I’ll be back the usual shy-Caroline mode soon. I haven’t come down from my pink cloud so I’m not completely myself yet.”

“really? i dunno.” Sans shrugs, the corners of his mouth rising. “fyi, i’m cool with any caroline you choose but… you seem like yourself alright to me. _tibia_ honest, maybe a bit more yourself than usual, y’know?”

Sighing, I smile. “Thank you, Sans.”

He winks, before turning his body to me. Sans drops his gaze and his aura drastically changes. He’s nervous. “so kid, listen, i’m happy for you two and…” He glances up only to smirk. “heh… you already know what i’m gonna say, don’t you?”

“…It depends.” I admit. Usually Sans isn’t one easy to read but this time I didn’t even try. Weird. His protective energy speaks volumes. “I only know you’re very worried and you’re trying really hard not to hurt my feelings. That’s it. But… are you going to ask me to be careful? With your brother?”

 “cool.” He chuckles. He doesn’t think it’s cool at all.

“Sans?” I place a hand on his shoulder.  His smile is in place but somehow it doesn’t reach his sockets.

I take a deep breath. “Look… I know that even though we’re friends, we’re still learning to trust each other. It’s been scary for both and we have our reasons. But, hey… it’s okay.”

He stares at me, expressionless, asking me to elaborate. I chuckle half-heartedly. “I guess we both have the same issue. You’re always joking around and everyone likes you and trusts you without a doubt but… sometimes I tell myself I shouldn’t do the same. Okay, now I’M the one who doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Please try to understand, there’s just so much I don’t know about you. But then… I don’t know. As contradictory as this sounds, I… I already trust you. Things like coming here with you or leaving Frisk in your care, make me realize that deep down I already consider you a trust-worthy friend. No matter what my fears say.”

I could have sworn his sockets went black for a split second, only to be back the next. “Sans, I don’t blame you for being cautious of me, a human. And one that can do this… _suspicious_ thing. Honestly, I used to, but not anymore. You’re only trying to protect your friends and Papyrus. I understand that now. In fact, you’ve been helping me from the start and that’s a lot! I mean, monsters know first-hand what humans are capable of, so helping me and taking me into your house without knowing me was a huge risk. Sure, maybe you did it because Papyrus was sad he hadn’t seen a human and you wanted me to cheer him up or whatever, but still it was a lot. And I’ll always appreciate it. So look… I know this isn’t much, but I promise you that no matter what happens between me and Papyrus, I’ll treat his heart with care. The last thing I want is to hurt him or any of you, feelings included. _Especially_ feelings. So, no, I’m not mad at you for asking me to be careful with Papyrus’ heart. I understand your position. You guys are very special to me and if you’re ever to fully trust me, I want it to be in your own way and in your own terms, so…” I shrug. “It’s okay. Take your time, Sans.”

He stares at me for a full minute, unreadable again. I know he probably wanted to avoid speaking of the very subtle remains of distrust in each other, as did I, but if we want to move forward with our friendship it had to happen at some point.

He glances to the side. “man. and here i was hopin’ to keep the mood light.” He awkwardly rubs the back of his skull, a laid-back but soft smile finally back on his face. “thanks, pal. we care about you and the other kid too.”

“I’m very glad to hear that, pal.” I lift my chocolate mug. “To human-skeleton friendships?”

“cheers.” Sans chuckles, his usual confident attitude back. He clinks his ketchup bottle against my mug and we take a drink.

“by the way… that was a _great_ job cheering paps up, kid. ” Sans teases, amusement written all over his skull.

I elbow him lightly, blood rushing to my cheeks as his laughs echo through the room. Still, I can’t help but feel a tinge of pride.

 “Thanks.”

                                                                                                

* * *

 

We joke and talk some more before Sans adds our orders to his tab and walks me to his garage. The way back is nice. It’s as if some unknown barrier between us has been lifted.

“Here’s my stop.” My grin turns into a yawn, the weight of the day finally falling upon me. “Good night, Sansie.”

“night, pal. get some rest, ‘kay?” Sans waves and I turn around to open the door.  “oh, and kid…”

“Yes?” I carefully open the handle, hoping not to wake anyone up.

“y’know, when i tried to ask you to be careful with paps… it wasn’t paps’ heart i was worried about.”

His words freeze me. I close the door again and spin on my heels.

He’s gone.

…

I walk around. Not a shadow. Not a trace in the snow.

“…Sans?”

Nothing. No one.

Only a chill running down my spine.

Confused as ever and knowing Sans is not one to come back to explain his own riddles, I turn around, deciding to enter the room--

“ _Hee hee hee_.”

My chest tightens. My muscles suddenly trying not to let another breath in or out, but instead to die. The door is a couple of feet away from me. So close and so far.

That’s when I notice the vine wrapped around my ankle.

And then around my neck.

“Golly! You don’t waste any time, huh?  But a skeleton? Seriously? And the idiotic one at that? My, I knew you were odd but even I was surprised to find out you’re a freak… Hee hee. C’mon, don’t be so surprised… Surely you wouldn’t forget about me, your   **b  e  s  t    f  r  i  e  n  d!**  As soon as I knew I had to congratulate you! News spread fast around here… almost as fast as you forgot your so-called _family_.” I hear Flowey sob inconsolably from behind me, only to abruptly stop. His voice low and distorted. Demonic. “You remind me of **_m y s e l f_**.”

My head is a box of long forgotten dusty junk. Useless. Dead. Only my body being crushed feels real. And even that’s not real.

But him daring me to find my boyfriend somewhere in Waterfall before he does, is.  

* * *

 

Trembling, I intend to wake everyone up.

I don’t care that Flowey warned me several times that I should go alone. It’s simply suicidal. I’d never beat him if it came down to FIGHTING, and he could easily use me to threaten Papyrus.  No matter how many scenarios I imagine, if I go by myself, every single one of them ends wrong.

But maybe everything’s already wrong.

Because I find no one.

Empty beds in the garage. Empty rooms in Sans’ house.

No matter how loud  I call out to them.

The world spins. Tears blurry my vision.

“ _Tic-tac. Tic-tac_. **_Hee hee hee_.** ” Flowey’s incorporeal giggles echo.

And then I can only run.

Run. Run. Run.

But Waterfall is no different.

It’s empty too.

“Frisk! _FRISK!”_ I cry out. “PAPYRUS! SANS!”

It’s quiet. Awfully quiet. I dig my nails in my palms as I go from one room to the next. “ _FRISK!”_ I even go to the secret place behind the waterfall.

Empty.

“Found you!” A childish voice laughs. “What took you so **l o n g**?”

I refuse to turn around. To give Flowey that satisfaction. Silent tears stream down my face as the bitter, heavy truth dawns upon me. As I very well know how this will end. “…They were never here, were they?” I ask, barely above a whisper. The knot in my throat makes it barely possible to speak.

“No. But _now you are_.”

His leaves tickle my neck to keep me in check. He does it to remind me he can start a FIGHT anytime he wants to.

And finish it too.

Was this the perfect plan my guides had for me? Is this how my sad life ends? Alone, after all. To have good things only for them to be taken away. Not the first time it happens to me. But apparently the last.

“Flowey… what do you want?” My voice is weak. Flat. Nonetheless I’m mildly surprised at how genuinely curious and confused it sounds. No resentment. No accusations implied.

I glimpse at him appearing out of the corner of my eye. I remain staring vacantly at the wall. “Me?” He smirks. “Oh, you still don’t get it, blondie? I already have it ALL.”

I blink. Tears continuing to slowly fall. My eyebrows furrow and my head tilts in the slightest. “All? I don’t understand…”

“ **P O W E R.** ”

Power… huh…

A popping sound. My green soul floats in front of me.

A bullet hits it.

At first it hurts enough to throw my body to the ground. A tiny, but very painful needle in the core of my being. Then I notice my own hopelessness becoming bitterer. Angrier.

Power…

I huff humorlessly as I look at my weak, shaky tiny heart. I see how unstable it is but suddenly I feel no pain. Just lack of strength perhaps. “Power over who, Flowey? Me? A weak, permanently terrified human?” It is then that I finally dare to look him in the eyes.

“ ** _Yes_**.”

If I were standing, I’d shrug. “But what’s the point? Doesn’t it feel kind of empty? There’s no merit in scaring me. Much less FIGHTING me...”

“I have all the merit I need. **_Crushing_** you is just part of the fun--”

“Not even in your philosophy does it make sense. _Kill or be killed_ … I’ve never tried to kill you.” At this point, I’m uncontrollably crying out of laughter. I can’t stop grinning. Yet, I’ve never been so angry in my entire life. “I mean, even if I were to try, I lack the skill and the strength and you know it. I just… I don’t understand you. What’s this all for? And forget about me, just wanting to kill everyone… What for? For the sake of survival? So you kill me and the others, what then? Isn’t it all pointless in the end? To kill everyone just because? To live-- no, to keep _existing_ just… _because_? It feels so… so damn meaningless… Useless! Hahahaha, and now you’re about to make my death as pointless as your life, hahahahahahahaha”

I don’t recall much of what happened next.

The next thing I knew, Flowey wasn’t there anymore. I laughed some more. Then a distorted, cracked skull was the last thing I saw before I finally laughed myself to sleep.

* * *

 

_Help… th… kid…_

_HELP US_

_HELP US._

* * *

Cold.

Everything is cold.

I lie on my stomach on the hard ground, my cheek pressed against what feel like cobblestones. From the feel of the small, round stones pressing into my face, I must have been lying there for some time.

Wincing, I push myself to my elbows. My heart slams against my ribs. Panicked. Fearful.

Slowly, the memories come rushing back to me, making sense of the odd inner shivers.

Flowey. The cracked skull. The choked, twisted voice of the dream.

The things I said.

My fear slowly melts into horror. I’m horrified.

At myself.

Feeling a lump rise to my throat, there’s only one person I want to see.

With a hollow ache in my chest, I stumble my way back to Snowdin, planning to run straight to Grillby’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long personal ramble here. Skip if you want:
> 
> So I know I always tell you how difficult these months have been, and this time it's been the definition of bitter-sweet.  
> A month ago, my beloved 15 year old fur baby passed away (she's been with me basically since she was born) . The one I describe in the first chapters of this fic. Caroline's pet.
> 
> Boy, I get tears in my eyes just writing this. I'm still not over it, it's been so hard. It's a kind of pain I hadn't experienced before. My parents and I miss her like you have no idea. Honestly, I don't want to know what it feels like losing a human. I can't remotely imagine. 
> 
> Still, it brings me a lot of peace knowing she died peacefully of old age. And well, I have good days and bad days. 
> 
> BUT, this funny thing happened. You see, I had been looking for a job in the mornings for months and literally two days after she passed away, I got an interview for my dream job. I'd been waiting for an opportunity like this for a very long time, where I live you don't find them too often. And not only that, everyone wants them so there's a lot of competition. And the next week I started. It's in a school and I've loved every part of it. Being around the kids has been deeply healing. I haven't been this happy in a long time. Remember the chapter when Caroline reveals her psychic powers to Sans and Papyrus and they end up playing children games with Kid and just having childish fun? I know I wrote about it, but I hadn't actually experienced it until now. I didn't know how refreshing and wonderful it actually was. I didn't even know the part of myself that genuinely looked forward to playing things like hide-and-seek or hand-clapping games still existed. 
> 
> What's even funnier, is that I got the call to tell me I got this job right when I was at the SAME Walmart, in which months ago my other boss also called to tell me I got my afternoon job. Haha. I like both jobs very much. It's a magical Walmart haha.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading both (or either) my ramble and my chapter. Wherever you are, stay determined!


	18. Doubt is merely a different kind of faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a very short chapter, just to let you know that I will finish this fic, no matter how long it takes me. More notes at the end.

I told Sans everything.

About how I followed Frisk and we fell into the Underground. Toriel. Flowey …

Here, in the privacy of his house and from the comfort of his couch, I’ve never seen him so serious and so quietly intimidating.  
  
“so you got any theories on what’s this flower’s business then?”

“I don’t know.” I sigh, burying my face in my hands. “I don’t even understand half of what he says. I’m not sure if he actually planned to kill me. He’s had every chance, but the cracked skull could have scared him off or maybe Flowey was just toying with me…”

“c”mon kid, what are you actually afraid of?”

Unburying my face from my hands, I hesitate to meet his gaze. What sort of question is that?

“don’t get me wrong, the skull and the weed are creepy enough, but i can tell you’re keepin’ something to yourself. if you want me to help you, you gotta tell me what’s wrong.”

I lower my gaze. Sans could make a great psychologist one day. You know, when he’s not busy goofing around or making puns all the time. Yes, he’s right, there’s something that worries me a lot more than Flowey and the skull. Something way worse. “…Okay. I’ll tell you what’s wrong.” I bite my inner cheek. “My soul.”

His expression is unreadable like always. Except this is different from his usual poker face. He's not trying to mask anything, he actually wasn’t expecting this.

I shake my head. “Toriel said my soul is very weak. Too weak for a human. She asked me not to tell anyone, but I trust you now, so...» I shrug. «Apparently any attack damages it a lot more than it should. I got hit by one bullet from Flowey. Just one and I thought I was going to die. But that’s not the worst part. I… right after that bullet hit me… I said something awful to him. I don’t even want to repeat it. I suddenly turned into something else. I stopped being me. My mind, my heart… It was all twisted. It was like I was someone completely different.”

“those bullets are his magic. they’re part of him. you could’ve read his… uh, how’d you call it? energy?” I nod in response. “it felt real to ya because feeling others’ energy is your kinda thing. you simply absorbed his magic, that’s all.”

“No, that’s not it-- I mean, yes, it’s possible, but I can tell when something doesn’t belong to me. And what I felt then… that hopelessness, that… cruelty. It wasn’t just Flowey’s.” My next words fall in my chest so heavily I drop Sans’ gaze. “It was mine too.”

There’s the heavy silence I was hoping to avoid. Sans doesn’t dare to speak. Not wanting to know whatever it is I just caused in him, I fix my gaze on the floor.

“I’ve felt that way before, Sans. Not even that long ago, 5 years tops. I was depressed and continuously fantasized with the idea of killing myself. Never had the courage to actually try because ironically I was afraid of pain and dying, and my parents would have been devastated, so yeah. I don’t want to go into details right now, but you get the picture.”

Surprisingly, Sans’ expression isn’t unreadable. His gaze is different than usual. Softer.

“I thought that chapter of my life was over. I thought I’d finally left it behind me. But when Flowey’s bullet hit my soul… I could clearly feel those dark corners inside me growing. My own despair… hatred even. It feels like an eternity since the last time I allowed myself to feel those things. How empty, cold and unfair life is. That inner starvation for a little hope or any kind of love, but no one’s there to see how much you’re actually suffering. Or what’s worse, no one WANTS to be there, so after all the heartbreaks, false hope, broken dreams and rejection, you simply stop believing there’s anything good waiting for you. At least anything good that will actually last. The anger… and how much you wish others realized how deep your pain is, and the deeper it keeps getting. How much you wish your own brokenness wouldn’t make them want to walk away. Then you get to a point in which your sorrow is so great, that the only way to survive is through numbness and deep resentment, until they consume you and you become heartless. You feel like life, or God, or whatever is either against you or doesn’t really care about you, no matter if you played by the rules. No matter how hard you tried to be good. It’s like a deep betrayal.”

“oh man… kid, i think we’ve all been there--”

“No, you don’t get it! This time I couldn’t feel sorrow. I couldn’t feel loneliness. Those can make you more caring. More human. But no. All I could feel was resentment, bitterness and that nothing and no one meant anything to me. I remember how horrible is to lose any compassion left in you. To be consumed by that darkness. I can’t go back to that! It scares me to the core how familiar it felt! Back then I was my worst version. I still can’t forgive myself for the things I said. The thoughts I had. I really believed I’d grown out of it but when that thing hit me… it brought those feelings back to life. No. It was like they never really left, they were still there in my heart… hidden and very, very small, but still there. After all the effort… it…” I close my eyes and let the tears come, “it terrifies me I can still be that ugly inside.”

Sans offers me his shoulder and I bury my face in it without hesitation. He pats my back softly.  
“What is Papyrus going to say when he realizes this?” I whisper. “When he sees this ugly, toxic side of me? It’s been so difficult to fight it, but I still haven’t made it go away… Nobody likes people who are ugly inside.”

Sans caresses my hair like I’m a child for a long, quiet while. When I’m finally calmer, he speaks softly. “look, kid. here’s my two cents. we all go through happy and crappy times, right?”

  
I nod twice.

“so what? wanting to give up on life… revenge… we all relate to it to some degree. even someone as good as paps. i dunno what you’ve been through, but sounds like you went through your own version of hell, so i bet you had your reasons for feelin’ all those things. everyone’s got stuff they’re not proud of, but that doesn’t make you, like, the _whole_ you, ugly, kid. you don’t wanna repeat your mistakes, that pretty much means you’ve already changed. and look, here we are talking, so you clearly didn’t give up. not when you were depressed, not when you fell into the underground. you kept going, whatever your reasons. and i gotta tell you, i respect that. you’re not the same anymore. heck, you’ve changed since we met, so there’s no way for you to ‘go back.’ honestly, i’m no expert and here’s a crazy idea, but maybe you’ve got the wrong angle. you’re assuming this is a sign you’re going backwards but if gotta look back on your life like you are right now... perhaps you’ve actually been moving forward.”

"..." Silence. A tiny smile finds its’ way to my lips with more tears. I basically hug-attack him. He chuckles.

Moving forward…

I think this is the first time in my life someone sees effort instead of wrongness behind my worst mistakes. I may not have entirely processed the depth of his words, but having someone not running away from my harsh, unpolished feelings feels good for a change. No one trying to convince me that I’m actually pretty inside, or that my dark side doesn’t exist... Simply a friend that is okay with me having those unlovely edges.

For now, that is enough. So much more than enough. It’s like maybe, just maybe, the real me is not as unlovable as I thought. “Thank you so much, Sans.” I break the hug, wiping my tears away.

“and for the record, no human is pretty inside.” Sans winks. “you’re full of gross fluids and spongy organs everywhere.”

 

* * *

 

I met with Undyne, Papyrus and Alphys later. It turns out it was all a huge misunderstanding.

  
No one was in my room last night because while I was out with Sans, everyone wanted a snack, so they went quickly to Undyne’s house. She says they left a note. It was nowhere to be found, so my theory is Flowey probably took it. As for Papyrus, he says he couldn’t sleep, so he later went out for a run. Sans, of course, went with him. The Great Papyrus was suspiciously AND ADORABLY nervous when he told me that, so knowing him... Brother talk about dating, maybe? Judging by Sans’ grin, that must be it.

Whatever it was, Sans and I think that’s when Flowey took advantage of the situation.  
After Undyne gave me a whole lecture about not going anywhere alone, we all agreed it’d be best if Frisk and I are always with someone. At least until the Royal Guard finds out anything about Flowey. Apparently no one’s seen a monster like him before, which makes this ten times more unsettling.

And while that is being solved, now it’s Undyne’s and Frisk’s turn to live up to their part of the deal.

We figure out how to break the barrier. Together.

“Hey, not-coward. I’ll take Alph and the little punk with me. I’d start in Waterfall if I were you. Your boyfriend knows what I’m talking about. Have him walk you there.” Her grin grows with those two sentences.

Papyrus gazes to the ground, his cute skull glowing bright orange. “UNDYNE!!”

“Okay.” I chuckle, blood rushing to my cheeks. “He’ll show me.”

“Don’t think that just because you two are a thing now, you can slack off! You’d better find something to get our butts outta here, got it?”

“Loud and clear.” I can’t help but smile at a madly blushing Papyrus. MAN, SEEING HIM NERVOUS MAKES ME NERVOUS.

“L-l-let them investigate.” Alphys nudges Undyne with her elbow.

“Okay, fine, fine. See you later, lovedogs!” Undyne and Alphys wave her hands, while Frisk gives me a thumbs up before they walk out of Snowdin. Sans already left, having ‘work’ to do in the hotdog station.

Wait…

“Lovedogs?” I lift an eyebrow.

“OH, THAT’S BECAUSE OF DOGAMY AND DOGARESSA. YOU KNOW, FROM THE ROYAL GUARD. THEY’RE A VERY SWEET COUPLE! SO WE USE THE TERM LOVEDOGS TO NAME UH…” Papyrus avoids my gaze. “A-AFFECTIONATE COUPLES… NYEEEEH!”

“Haha, that makes sense.” I blush with a shrug. WHY IS HE SO CUTE?!?!

“OH! Are You Feeling Better? After Everything That Happened?”

“I am now."  I reach out for his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see, how have you guys been? My emotions have been a roller coaster for these past few months so that's why I haven't been writing. In fact I had written this chapter many months ago and I know what I want to happen but didn't know how to make it fit in this chapter so I'll leave it for the next.
> 
> I think my depression is back. I can't remember if I had said this in a previous chapter, because it comes and goes, but this time it feels stronger. Nothing too serious so don't worry, I'm already getting help, but man, I feel absolutely terrible. It's funny because two days ago, making a huge effort to keep myself alive in the emotional sense, I decided to try to finish this chapter. And when I started by reading it (after all this time), it was as if my many-months-younger self had written this for the way I'm feeling right now. 
> 
> It was like, "Oh, this person knows exactly what I'm going through and her words bring me a little relief!", even if it was just myself, lol. I've been depressed before but when I wrote the chapter I wasn't. 
> 
> So that inspired me to post the chapter the way it is, instead of trying to force in it what I want to happen next. Hope it helps someone, at least with that little, but sometimes very comforting "Me too!" moment, that makes you think that if someone gets you or is going through something similar, maybe you are not as alone in your pain or as wrong as a person as you feel.
> 
> By the way, thank you so much for your supporting comments about my fur baby. Seriously, it helped. 
> 
> Stay determined, friends.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Companiontale](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10623993) by [InkForOne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkForOne/pseuds/InkForOne)




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